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Memories 2: A Dream... Dreams are always confusing things...you have them...then at the end or maybe even somewhere in the middle, BAM, you're wide awake wondering what the hell is going on... The thing about dreams that always gets to me is this...when you're dreaming, you have no freaking CLUE that you're dreaming and not awake...to you, while you're in the dream, you believe it to be completely real...until you wake up that is. I think it was best expressed in a small couplet I read long ago written by an old Chinese philosopher: How can you know if you're really asleep and dreaming of being awake? What if what you THINK is a dream is actually reality? How would you ever be able to tell? The thing is though, as confusing as it can get, you will always have the majority of the population proudly state that they are able to tell apart their dreams from their reality. While I can't and won't speak for others, I can say for a fact that I have confused my dreams for reality more than once... Even with me though, looking back on my past dreams, I used to be able to say that I could tell which one were dreams and which ones were in real life mostly due to the fact that 99.9% of my dreams had some STRANGE shit in em...like that one dream back in around grade 5 where I was abandoned during a class trip in some deserted city full of monkeys... ... But enough about that, I digress...this little update was created to talk about another memory that simply refused to go away and started me questioning certain facets of dreams... I know that that was rather cryptic so I'll get straight to the point. wHere's what happened... I was on the bus...and even though this was more than a few years ago now, I can still remember it clearly. I was on the Van Horne bus one day after school heading home just like I always do. The thing that made this so memorable was that the girl that I had fallen for at the time was on the bus as well. There I was, talking, laughing and basking in all her cute lil korean-ness...from her cute korean accent when she spoke in english to her looks and even to the way she had of constantly switching back and forth from korean to english...when suddenly...something hit me...while I didn't really know where she lived, what I DID know that it wasn't THIS way. I let it go on for a while longer...talking with her and laughing with her without the unease and nervousness that I usually felt...revelling in the fact that I could actually TALK to her without getting nervous and stuff. But finally, I said the words that I knew would end it...after all...dreams and wishes have this in common; they both fade away when you realize what they really are...just dreams and wishes... "I know this is just a dream." I say with a sad smile as I take in the warmth and the friendship in her eyes as she looks back at me...something that I KNOW would never be there in real life but then, she surprises me. With an indignant tone, she says to me in korean, "Hey! Do I SEEM like a dream to you??" And just like that, I'm basicaly slapped back to reality. Taking in the situation, I realize how strange it must seem...I mean, here was the opportunity of a lifetime, quality time alone with the girl I had fallen for and what's more, she seemed to truly enjoy my company and here I was, so sure that it was a dream that I had said something pretty stupid... Lucky for me, she decided to overlook that slip...but I continued that same line of questioning by asking her, "Well, if this isn't a dream, what are you doing on this bus? Don't you live nearer to the school?" "I'm going to visit my cousin's house today..." "Oh, I see...so anyways, where were we?" And after that the conversation continued about all the manner of things when finally... "Well...this is my stop...I'm really glad I got the chance to talk to you today...I'll see you in class tomorrow?" "Yup! Bye!" "Later." So, feeling REALLY good and happy, I step off the bus...and wake up in my bed. Now how messed up was that??? |