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Humor Page
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This is a daily comic. The Gibbletoon Comic will be updated every weekday evening between 10PM and 12AM PST. This is my first time using something like this. Please e-mail me and tell me whether or not you think they are funny! I will be adding stuff to this page some, so check back later. Must of all of this stuff on this page came from www.amused.com It's a great site.
ANNOYANCES :
The person behind you in the supermarket runs his cart into the back of your ankle.
The elevator stops on every floor and nobody gets on.
The tiny red string on the Band-Aid wrapper never works for you.
A station comes in brilliantly when you're standing near the radio but buzzes, drifts and spits every time you move away.
The radio station doesn't tell you who sang that song.
You can't look up the correct spelling of a word in the dictionary because you don't know how to spell it.
You had that pen in your hand only a second ago and now you can't find it.
BUMPER STICKERS :
Hang up and drive!
Kneel down and obey, you ordinary boy.
If you are close enough to read this, I am close enough to slam on my brakes and sue you.
You're just jealous cause the voices only talk to me.
i souport publik edekasion.
Beat the 5 o'clock rush, leave work at noon.
Don't piss me off - I'm running out of places to put the bodies.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
The kids drive me crazy. I drive them everywhere.
I drive this way just to piss you off.
I still miss my x-wife, but my aim is improving.
Women make great leaders, you're following one.
REDNECK LOVE POEM
Collards is green, my dog's name is Blue
and I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.
Yore hair is like cornsilk a-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Blue's and without all them fleas.
You move like the bass, which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales but I luv you anyway.
You're as satisfy'n as okry jist a-fry'n in the pan.
Yore as fragrant as "snuff" right out of the can.
You have some'a yore teeth, for which I am proud;
I hold my head high when we're in a crowd.
On special occasions, when you shave under yore arms,
well, I'm in hawg heaven, and awed by yore charms.
Still them fellers at work, they all want to know,
what I did to deserve such a purdy, young doe.
Like a good roll of duct tape yore there fer yore man,
to patch up life's troubles and fix what you can.
Yore as cute as a junebug a-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like those far ants I found in my bed.
Cut from the best cloth like a plaid flannel shirt,
you spark up my life more than a fresh load of dirt.
When you hold me real tight like a padded gun rack,
my life is complete; Ain't nuttin' I lack.
Yore complexion, it's perfection, like the best vinyl sidin'.
despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin'.
Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie with a RC cold drank,
we go together like a skunk goes with stank.
Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentine's Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart, it's romantic that way.
Some men git roses on that special day
from the cooler at Kroger. "That's impressive," I say.
Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever," they explain, suave and couth.
But for this man, honey, these won't do.
Cause yore too special, you sweet thang you.
I got you a gift, without taste nor odor,
more useful than diamonds...... IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!!
Luv, from yore romeo
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