Neon Lights Fade and We Go Out With Them
PART 2
by V-Star
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Author's Comments: Sorry for the lengthy title! It's there for a reason, trust me.
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	Ash Ketchum. The trainer from Pallet, witch is where I must be, the one with the Pikachu. The one who was the world's
youngest champion ever of the Pokemon Leagues of Orange, Red and Blue. The one who I haven't talked to in years....amazing..
I begin to read.
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	Dear Diary,
	
	Today I left the Orange League victorious! You would think I would be estatic, but, I'm actually feeling rather 
guilty. You see, I didn't mention this to you earlier, but guess who my opponent is? My brother, Gary. I had to fight him and
I won. It was a hard battle, he did his best, and I did mine. I was so upset, that I almost wished I threw in the towel. The 
look on his face was so hurt, so betrayed. When I tryed to talk to him, he just recalled his pokemon, and walked, not ran,
away. He's stronger than he looks. I can tell you that if I had been in his shoes, I would have run full force. 
	I wonder if he deserved to win more than I did. He always gets hurt and shakes it off, but he never complains. I 
always whine, or seek support from Misty, or Brock, but he, he just won't except anyone's help. He feels that it's his battle,
his struggle, to master and conquer. I wish he was more open with me.
	Tonight, I went to dinner, and as Brock called it, I received "a hero's welcome". My mom fixed us all a fabulous meal
but we were all worried when Gary never turned up. Misty said she would go look for him.
	Sometimes I wonder if Misty is in love with Gary. She's always so much nicer to him than she is to me. In fact, she
goes out of her way to cheer him up. When she does that for me, we always fight. Then I watch them talk. Gary never trys to 
hurt her feelings. Neither do I, but it happenes anyway. He keeps his anger focused on the problem, but he never lets it get 
so out of control that he directs it at her. I always seem to leave the cause of my anger out of it and direct it at Misty. 
Maybe that's why she loves him. 
	I'll talk more later, Diary, I have to help Misty look for Gary.
	Sincerly,
	Ash
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	Dear Diary,
	
	We still havn't found Gary. He's not gone for good, mom says, but we don't know if he's okay. Mom thinks he's upset
about being defeated. Misty won't tell us anything either. She's acting unusual. I hope she's okay. 
	It get's to the point where you hope that you'd never done the one thing that made you happy but destroyed everything
else. I still have to try to help the others find Gary though. He hasn't been sotted anywhere.
	Sincerly,
	Ash

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	Dear Diary,

	Alexandra's really worried about Gary. God, it figures I'd find my long lost brother to be my rival and then I lose 
him! This sucks!
	Misty's been crying all day. Nobody can guess why, but we all want to cheer her up. Brock got her a flower and 
Pikachu babysat Togepi when she locked herself in her hotel room. She's come out since then, but the tears still come.
	I have to go, it's time for dinner.

	Sincerly,
	Ash K. (I'm trying out a new signature.)
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	I stand slowly from my coruched position on the floor. The entries in the diary made me feel strange. A feeling I 
havn't had before comes over me, a strange tugging at my heart. Not in the literal sense, but maybe it should be. Since I 
became a Rocket, I became a ruthless killing machine. What's happening to me? I musn't let emotion overtake me. 
If I start an emotional battle, I don't think I'm stron enough to win it, or strong enough to carry it around with me. That's
why my life is a mess. I'm not strong enough. I never was. I never have been. Never will be.
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	I am camping out in the woods with my loyal pokemon, Arcanine. I have started a fire, and we munch carelessly on 
peices of meat which I have stolen and am cooking. Sitting here, my curiosity tempts me, and I remove the diary from my pouch
and begin to read.
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	Dear Diary,

	It's been a month since I've had time to write. I am very tired. Today we walked to Cerulean City and viseted Misty's
sisters. Brock decided to pay Proffesor Ivy a viset since he hadn't seen her in a long time. He said goodbye to us and 
parted ways, so Misty and I are now alone together.
	Alone together. Dosn't that sound funny? I think it applies to much human life. Many humans feel lost and alone when
they are, in reality, surrounded by millions of humans. I will never be alone, I have Pikachu, and I guess Misty counts.
Maybe Gary felt alone.....maybe that's why he left. We still havn't found him, but somehow, I can feel that he dosn't want us
too. I miss him. He was my brother and one of the best friends I ever had.
	Sincerly,
	Ash K.
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	Shutting the book, I feel a pang of guilt. Gazing at the stars that are slowly comeing out, I gaze down at the city
behind me. It's glowing neon lights stretch out from the first one, and as one goes out some do, other's stay. If Ash had only
seen that, and saw how far some lights are from the others, unable to spread their light, and living in a dark place, unseen,
maybe he'd understand why his brother left. You don't have to be truly alone to feel like you'd never made a differance, like
the lights that nobody sees. Nobody wants.
	Sleep is fast approaching now, and I depart. As those lights glimmer beside me, I feel as though I'm no longer 
connected to them, that I'm no longer a light myself, but the darkness and anger that surrounds, while the lights attempt to 
block it out.

END OF PART 2