You know the song and dance by now. I don't own any of the Gundam Wing characters. I'm not pretending to own any of the characters. This is written for no profit, and is simply for myself and others sick amusement. Don't sue.
Warning: This part of the Kiss stories contains some graphic descriptions of two guys together. Also wanted to warn everyone that this one has quite a bit of angst in it, a whole lot of denial, and a great deal of emotional pain. Not recommended reading if you're depressed. If you read any further, then I assume that you are okay with this.
We'll get to the story soon. I promise. I wrote this not only to further the Kiss plot, but because I got tired of Relena turning into a psycho bitch when she discovered that Duo and Heero were lovers. I couldn't ever imagine that reaction in Relena, so I wrote what I consider a slightly more human (realistic) version of her. Hope you like where I'm taking this. Brownie points to you if you can guess where this will end up ^_^.
"I'm sure there is a perfectly logical reason why Heero did not meet with me for lunch like we had arranged." Relena spoke her thoughts out loud as she walked down one of the many halls of her mansion. The slight briskness in her step was the only sign of her irritation. "After all, he was the one who arranged the meeting over lunch. There has to be a reason why he stood me up."
Yes there is a reason he stood you up, whispered a tiny voice in Relena's head. And his name is Duo.
Relena didn't rise to the bait, choosing instead to ignore the voice. She would not get upset. She was the Queen of the World, a diplomat of the highest caliber. She would remain calm and in control.
"I will not scream. I will not rant. I will not jump to conclusions. I will not let my emotions take over my better judgment. I will not throw things." Relena repeated it to herself, a mantra to fight against the world around her.
It wasn't helping.
Two hours. Relena had been looking for Heero for two hours. This was in addition to the hour she had spent waiting for Heero in the dining room. Her feet hurt and she had wasted a good part of the only day she'd had off in over three months.
The Persian rug that covered the hardwood floor muffled Relena's footsteps. She was heading towards her houseguests' room by the shortest path possible. This meant cutting through the parlor in the west wing. Overall, Relena thought she was handling her frustration very well. Whether or not that would continue to handle that frustration depended on where she finally found Heero. And how much longer it took to find him.
"He better have a good excuse," Relena muttered under her breath. She cut through a sunroom decorated with wrought iron furniture, turned down a hall with a carved jade vase set into a wall niche, and ascended a flight of stairs normally traveled by the servants. A short hallway later and Relena was outside Duo and Heero's bedroom.
Without much hope, Relena lay her hand on the brass doorknob. She had already checked the room twice. It had been empty. The servants hadn't seen anyone in this part of the mansion. The blonde girl doubted anyone was in there. She checked it now more because it was there rather than because Relena thought she'd find anything.
After turning the knob, Relena pushed the wooden door open. She was vaguely surprised when the hinges moved without protest. Duo had been after the maintenance staff for weeks to fix the squeaky hinges.
Obviously, he decided to take care of the problem himself. I will admit there is one nice thing about having Duo around. He fixes all the little annoying things that the maintenance staff can't be bothered with.
Relena frowned as a small detail disturbed her thoughts. Funny. The door was open the last two times I checked the room. Hmm. One of the servants must have closed it. The servants had instructions to leave the room and adjoining bathroom alone. However, Relena couldn't fault them for closing the door. Duo is a slob of the highest order. His room is a disgrace to the cleaning staff.
The first thing she noticed was that the room was cleaner than normal. Relena could actually see the floor, could identify the color of the carpet. The book and comics that were normally strewn haphazardly about were neatly stacked on and around bookshelves. A large trash bag leaning against one wall probably held wrappers, soda cans, and bottles. The only thing marring the expanse of thick green carpet were a few rumpled clothes.
Funny, those clothes almost form a line... Relena tracked the clothing to where it ended. At the bed. The blonde girl clutched the door as her brain processed what her eyes saw.
Heero was naked. Muscles rippled across his shoulders, and his hips moved to some internal rhythm only could hear. A white sheet lay draped over the small of his back covering everything lower. His skin took on a golden hue against the paleness of the sheet. Dark hair obscured half of Heero's face. Then he groaned, a deep rumble that echoed softly in the room.
It sent a little a jolt of hormones into Relena's system.
Suddenly a hand, paler than Heero's golden skin, appeared on Heero's cheek. Momentarily confused, Relena's mind tried to make sense of it through the haze of hormones. Heero leaned forward, and someone met him halfway. Duo met him halfway pressing his lips hard and fast against Heero's.
The dark haired pilot shifted then, using one arm to effortlessly brace his weight. The other arm cupped the back of Duo's head, offering support as the two kissed. Duo sank his hand into Heero's hair, flexed it into the dark strands. Heero made a sound, something between a groan and a whimper.
Relena heard the sound. Imagined she could almost feel it as it raced under her skin. She could hear the slight skritching sound of Duo's fingernails against Heero's scalp, the soft exhalations of their panting, the squeak of the bed as they continued to move against each other. But above all else she couldn't see where Duo's other hand was.
The kiss was broken. She couldn't tell by who. They both seemed to move at the same time; Duo lying back against the sheets, Heero now using both arms to keep from resting all his weight on the braided pilot. Duo arched his back, pressing upwards, and Heero's entire body tightened.
Relena must have made a noise then, a short squeak of surprise. Heero's head snapped towards the door. The movement sent the dark hair flying out of his eyes long enough for him to recognize who was standing there. Relena got the feeling that that recognition was only thing that saved her life at that moment.
The blonde girl felt rooted to the spot. She couldn't move, couldn't speak, could barely breathe. Dangerous. That's how Heero looked right now. Covered in sweat, blue eyes dilated so much they were nearly black, muscles tense. Like a cougar ready to spring.
Surprisingly enough, it was Duo who broke the mood that had trapped Relena. And he did it by reacting normally to this situation. He turned bright red, and tried to scramble frantically out from under Heero.
Words were coming out of Relena's mouth. She wasn't sure what she was saying, or even if she were making sense. Heat from a blush bruned against her cheekc. Relena backed out of the room, looking at Duo's embarrassed violet eyes the entire time. Not at Heero's. If she looked at Heero's eyes again she would be trapped again, lose control, possibly do something that she would regret later.
Like kiss him while he was still lying above his male lover.
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It's just sex
Four days after Relena had accidently walked in on Duo and Heero, she had almost convinced herself it was true. Almost. A little voice kept whispering something entirely different. It has to be more than sex. Heero wouldn't sell himself short like that. Sex wouldn't be able to penetrate his defenses the way Duo has. It's not just sex, and you know it.
The blonde girl was ignoring the voice of doubt. She had to. There was no denying that Relena loved Heero. If she actually considered the possibility that the pilot of Wing could never love her... no. It couldn't be true. Relena wasn't sure she'd be able to survive if it was.
"Heero?" As the Queen of the World, Relena had learned that sometimes being a little delusional was the only way to get things done. For even if something was impossible, if you deluded yourself into believing it, others would to. So that's what she was going to do. Delude herself for as long as she could. "Heeeero?"
Relena stopped at the landing leading down to the recreational room. It was the lowest room in the mansion, a converted basement with a half-bathroom. Duo was the only one who ever really used it. The braided pilot had claimed it as his own when both he and Heero had first moved into Relena's mansion. Personally, Relena thought that part of the reason Duo used it so much was because it was as far as you could get in the mansion from where Relena usually was.
The door was open. Warm light spilled out of the doorway, as did the muted sound of the TV. Canned laughter rode the air. Relena knew that if she went on in, she would be at the top of another staircase that led to the bottom of the rec room. Yet she hesitated.
If the TV's on, that means Duo's down there. Heero never watches TV unless Duo's with him. And the servants told me that Heero came down here just a little while ago. What could they be doing down there? Unbidden came memories of Duo and Heero lying naked, in bed, moving and touching each other. Relena blushed.
They wouldn't. Not in the rec room where anyone could walk in. Despite the confidence and denial in Relena's internal voice, the blonde girl could not force herself to look into the room. The small, whispering voice took full advantage of that hesitation.
They're probably having sex right now.
"Are not," Relena said softly to the air around her.
Then why don't you just walk on in? Afraid of what you might see?
"No." Relena crossed her arms, a defensive gesture. She bit her bottom lip. It was a bad habit she'd had since she was a child. For the most part, Relena had conquered it. Except when she was feeling vulnerable. "I just don't feel like going in there."
Liar. You don't want to know if they're having sex. Don't want your nose rubbed in the fact that you may never be able to have Heero. You don't want to find out there's more than just sex to their relationship. Relena winced as the voice's accusations hit too close to home.
You are a coward.
"I am not." Relena brought her head up then, blue eyes flashing. "I have lived through the Colony Wars and assassin's bullets. I have held up when my father died, when everyone seemed to be against me. I am Relena Darian Peacecraft, Queen of the World. I am not a coward."
Then prove it.
"I will."
Go down there and talk to Heero like you planned.
"I am." Relena took a deep breath, letting the escaping air take her tension with it. "After all the worse that could happen is they're having sex. I've already seen that."
Taking her courage in both hands, Relena walked through the open door. She stood on the stairs leading into the room, letting her eyes take in the scene before her. Only one word made its way coherently through her thoughts. No...
This was much worse than anything she could ever have imagined. The blonde girl leaned against the doorjamb. Her legs didn't seem to want to support her weight. She closed her eyes but the scene below was etched into her brain. Like acid on metal. Her breath hitched painfully in her lungs, and the back of Relena's eyes burned.
No. Please God, no.
Duo lay asleep on the sofa, belly down, having removed half of the cushions in his restless tossing. The light from the TV flickered across his face, giving it an eerie bluish cast. The braided pilot was dressed in his usual attire of black. His chestnut braid lay across his shoulder and barely touched the floor. His head was turned to one side towards the TV. His whole body moved gently with his even breathing.
Heero sat on the arm of the couch nearest to Duo's head. One hand rested on his knee. The dark haired pilot's other hand was lightly brushing across Duo's hair. Relena could see Heero's lips moving, though she was too far away to hear the words.
To anyone else the scene was perfectly innocent. Even idyllic. A friend soothing a fellow comrade, possibly after a nightmare. Nothing more.
But Relena was not just anyone. She knew Heero too well. One look at his face was enough to confirm that it was not just sex between Duo and Heero. To imagine that Yuy was capable of looking at anyone like he looked at Duo without there being some form of love between the two... it was impossible.
Relena knew that she would never be able to convince herself that it was just sex. She had seen too much, knew the pilot of Wing too well.
It wasn't that Heero's expression was any softer than normal. His expression was as hard and flat as ever. Yet for the first time there was a look of peace on Heero's face as soothed Duo in his sleep. A lack of tension in that one unguarded moment.
You knew. The voice accused. Deny it all you want, but you knew. Heero would never give anything but his whole self to the one he trusted, the one he loved. Instinctively, you knew that.
It's one of the reasons why you love him. Why you wanted his love in return.
Relena couldn't breathe. Never in her darkest nightmares had she thought pain like this existed. Like her soul was being ripped in half. She couldn't seem to get her eyes to work right. They alternately burned and ached. She could taste hot bile at the back of her throat, could feel her stomach clench in agony. It felt like a thousand swords were ripping her apart on the inside.
She ran then. Relena turned, ignoring the pain when her shoulder connected with the doorjamb. Her feet didn't want to work. The blonde girl went down hard going up the stairs, jarring her kneecap painfully, only to scramble back to her feet. Tears blurred her vision, trailing like fire down her cheeks.
Relena had no notion of where she was running. It really didn't matter. All she knew was that she had to get away.
The sound of Relena's attempts to flee softly echoed through the downstairs room. Heero's head came up at the noise. He caught a flash of ash blonde, and the edge of a green shirt in the doorway. It took his mind only a few seconds reason who it might be.
Relena. She was running, and had hit something in her need to get away. Something had upset her. Heero's whole body tightened at the thought, including the hand in Duo's hair. It pulled at strands of rich brown, which in turn tugged at the braided pilot's scalp. Duo made a sleepy sound of protest. One pale violet eye barely cracked open.
"Mmmm... Heero? I was having the strangest nightmare..." Duo's sentence trailed off as he got a clear look at the other Gundam pilot's face. "Hey, Heero. You okay?"
The pilot of Wing didn't look okay. He looked like he had right after he'd blown up the entire plane of peacekeepers. Hard, cold, and desperate to make things right. He tracked Heero's gaze to the open door. There was nothing special about it, except that Heero was watching the door like world had just left through it.
"I'm fine." Heero jerked his hand from Duo's hair, taking a few strands with it. Duo winced. He shouldn't have said anything, but then again, he never did know when to quit.
"You don't look fine. What's wrong?" Duo watched as Heero got up from the couch, and stalked towards the stairs. "C'mon Heero. Something's got you upset."
Heero took the stairs two at a time, then turned to look at Duo from the doorway. "Nothing's wrong. I'll see you at dinner." With that, Heero was gone.
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Return to Maxwell House Fan Fiction
Kiss 5, A GW fanfic
By Tsaiko
© Tsaiko, 2001