BRAIN TEASING JOKES


X: when should a mouse carry an umbrella?


Y; when it rains cats and dogs


X; which bird can lift the heaviest weight


Y: the crane.


X: what can you hold on your right palm but not on your left palm?


Y: you left elbow


once in a chemistry class, the professor asked a student which compound had the formula HNO3.The student stammered saying, "oh! I have it on the tip of my tongue, sir". And the professor retorted, "well! spit it out then, It's nitric acid.


X: what's the best way to catch a squirrel?


Y: go up the tree and act like a nut.


X: what almost look like a half cheese?


Y: the other half


X: which side of the dog has most hair?


y: the outer side.


X: what must you do before getting off a bus?


Y: get on it.X: why does a cow have a bell around it's neck?


Y: coz its' horns don't work;


X: how do you get an elephant up a tree?


Y: plant a seed.make the ele. stand on it and wait for it to grow.


X: how do you get an ele, down the tree?


Y: make it stand on a leaf and wait for autumn,


X: what has only it's nose remaining when you take of it's eye?


Y: noise.


X: diff. bet. a bottle of medicine and an old dusty rug


Y: one is shaken up and taken and the other is taken up and shaken.


X: diff. bet. a station master and a teacher?


Y: one minds the train and the trains the mind.


X: what is the cleverest animal in the world?


Y: a snake, coz nobody can pull it's leg.


X: diff. bet. a bad student and a fisherman?


Y: one hates his books and the other baits his hooks.


X: diff. bet. a rainy day and a lion with a toothache?


Y: one pours with rain and the other roars with pain,


X: how did you write your english exam?


Y: good. but, i didn't know the past tense of 'THINK'. so, i thought, thought and thought and finally wrote think.


X:who was the greatest robber in history?


Y: atlas. he held up the world,


X: what do you give an injured lemon?


Y: a lemon-aid(lemonade)


Boss: do you believe in life after death?


Clerk: yes, sir,


Boss: well then, yesterday about an hour after you left to attend


your granddad's funeral, he stopped by here to see you.


Mother: your face is clean, but why are your hands dirty?


child: coz i used them to clean my face.


(2 men waiting in a hotel) 1st man: giving is always better than receiving


2nd man: you must be a philosopher


1st man: no, i'm a boxer.


man to waiter: what is absolutely hot in you hotel? waiter: the stove, sir.


X: what is the last thing you take off before going to bed?


Y: my feet off the ground


teacher (lisping): who wrote the novel "the Great Eggspectatopm'?


student: Charles Chickens.


teacher: why do dogs ned training and fish don't


stu.: coz fish live in schools already.


s: what to you call pigs that are friendly?


L: pen-friends.


a first time flyer: do these airplanes crash often?


regular passenger: of course not, just once does it.


T.: increase in popln. is directly proportionate to the increase inignorance


st.:does it mean the most no. of ignoramuses live in delhi, calcutta ,chennai and mumbai.Passenger hoping to confirm his booking with the ticket examiner, points to the train and asks him): is it your's?


ttr.: no, it belongs to the Govt. of India


p: don't be silly, what i mean is, can i take this train to delhi. ttr: now you don't be silly, it's too heavy.


Collected by K.DURGA.

This page has been visited times.