Ayesha
XXX-XXX 69th Avenue
Freshmeadows, New York 11365
 
 

Dear Ayesha,
 
 

I just got your letter... nothing is happening here. I saw a punk group, Groove Yard play at Lakeside Center a couple weeks ago... they were good, but they would not let us get a pit going. I might sneak into the pub to see Weird Thing latter tonight... haven't decided yet.

I got myself into more hot water with housing. I threw tomatoes at a really bad comedian (the traditional thing to do in such matters)... housing wasn't happy even though the comedian didn't complain. The ARGO printed an inaccurate editorial against me and wouldn't print my letter when I tried to straiten things out... this was my letter:
 
 

Steve seemed to be enjoying the marines... he said the first month was the worst.

Where are you working? I am still an unemployed bum and I like it that way... I really should get a job but I doubt I could even if I wanted to.

School ends in about three weeks, so I should be able to hang out with you again soon.

Feeling a bit out of it... don't know why.

Did some writing last night... this will almost definately get me locked up if it falls into the wrong hands:
 
 

The last thing I wrote before that wasn't too much better:
 
 

I dropped my Calculus II class earlier this semester since I was falling behind and failing. I am getting sick of my other classes. I can't wait for this year to end.

My courses next semester should be fun:
 
 

Science, Religion, & Magic

Philosophy East & West

Intro to Anthropology

Religion, Modern Society
 
 

I was going to take Death and Dying but it was full.

I have been writing a list of titles for songs that I plan to someday write lyrics to... I probably never will, but I have been writing a list anyway... some of them are good... some are stupid:
 
 

It's So Long, It's Scarry

Cement Dildos

Sunburned Genitalia

Rotted Genitalia

Beastual, Necrophilic Homosexuality

Worm Food

Instant Death (Just Add Water and Stir)

Suicide Via Nuclear Explosion

Death in D Flat

Peace Hippies from Hell

I'm O.K.... You're Dead

Russian Rullet

He Wants to Spontaniously Combust

The Law of Chaos

I Hate Your God... And I Hate You Even More

Let's Implode Together

I'm Thinking About Contemplating Suicide

Isn't It Great Being Dead

Na, Na, Na, Na, Na... I'm Deader Than You Are

The Inside of a Padded Cell

My Nifty New White Jacket (I Wear It Backwards)

Let's Make a Suicide Pack For the Year 4000

Hanging For Attempted Suicide

Cooking With Jeff

Running, Head-First, Into a Brick Wall

Self-Imposed, Human Vivisection
 
 

I Have a Headache... It's Time For Brain Surgery

Diced to Death

Hold Your Breath, Turn Blue, Then Die

Road Kill

Better Off in a Coma

Life Sucks, Then You Go To Jail and Meet Bubba

Heart Attack at Orgasm

I'm Sick... You're Sicker... Who's Sickest?
 
 

Don't really know why I typed that all out... as I said I am out of it... I think I'll include one other thing I wrote before I close this letter... my friend and I wrote this when we were bored... we collected over sixty signatures... we were going to force the school senate to vote on it when we had 540:
 
 

Some people actually thought we were serious about it. The worst that the student senate could possibly do is recommend that the world is destroyed... people can be so stupid. Rather than babble forever, I'm going to close this letter.... Write back soon... I'll call you in three or four weeks when I get home.
 
 

Yours Truly
 
 

Brian Matthew Kessler