Brian Matthew Kessler
XXXX Carol Road
Union, New Jersey 07083
(908)/687-XXXX (House)
(908)/687-XXXX (Bedroom)
January 18, 1992
NYPress
295 Lafayette St.
The Puck Bldg.
9th Fl.
Box 02140
NY, NY 10012
Dear 02140,
Sorry about my manner of addressing you. Let me make it quite clear that I have no delusions that you are not a number, you are a free man. Strike that... if you were a man, free or otherwise, I would not be writing this letter... you are not a number, you are a free woman... somehow that doesn't sound aesthetically pleasing, but I will ignore that for the moment. The reason I address you in such a poor manner is obvious... I have no other way of addressing you... something I hope that you shall decide to amend.
I am considered "hot", "handsome", "adorable", or other such things by many of the women I know... unfortunately they tend not meet my very finicky standards. I am somewhere between 5'6 and 5'11, depending on the doctor that measures me... the last one said 5'8. I weigh about 130 - 135. I am white (except during the summer when I go to red and then to tan). I have long brown hair (with a touch of red in it during the summer as it gets bleached by the sun). My eyes are hazel, changing from brown to green.
I don't just lean towards the left, I leap towards it, being an Anarchist at heart... although pragmatism in me drives me as far to the right as libertarianism and a willingness to settle for either socialism or communism (that is true communism, and not the fascist concept of communism that was practiced in the Soviet Union or is still practiced in China).
I am nice, which is the other problem I have in meeting women... nice guys finish last. We don't excite women with our willingness to worship them... they want the excitement (a.k.a. danger) that goes with sending their hearts out to scum who will use and abuse them, mistreat and cheat on them... makes little sense to me and it is not in my nature to act that way, even if I wanted to.
As for smart, they don't get much smarter. I was near the top of my class in high school (graduating as 33 of 386 with a 3.3 average), taking all honors and advanced placement (college level) courses, including Physics, Computer Science, Calculus I, Bio I, Chem. I, and Psychology. If I was ambitious, I could easily have been at the top, but I chose to spend my time partying while all my classmates, both above and many below were studying. I achieved a 1210 on my SAT (700 Math, 510 English) and on the Math I, Math II, and Bio achievement tests I scored 720, 710, and 700 respectively. On a computer science advanced placement test I scored the highest possible grade and was the only one to ever achieve the grade in the history of the school. I was actually worshipped as "The Computer God" by both my teachers and my peers.
I went on to Stockton State College with a full tuition scholarship from the school and one thousand dollars a year from the state for room and board. I could easily have gone to a better school if I didn't lack motivation and Stockton was supposed to be a good school for computer science (the field I planned to go into at the time). The first semester I achieved a 3.0 average, taking no effort to achieve it with courses such as Calculus I, Philosophy / Human Nature, Discrete Math I, and Argument / Persuasion. Due to certain differences with the housing officials, I missed a couple weeks of school during the second semester and my average dropped to a 2.6, since I feel too far behind in three of my courses, having to drop my Calculus II course and bluff my way through Discrete Math II and Stats I to get "C"s in both of them. I should have received an "A" in my Intro to Logic course, but being stressed out from eight hours of nearly non-stop testing only minutes previous, I screwed the final up completely and got a "D" for the course. I achieved an easy "A" in my Programming and Problem Solving I course, despite being completely uncooperative with the teacher's policies and failing to meet many of his ludicrous requirements. During this time I decided that computer science was relatively boring, being that it was too easy, and pressured by a large number of friends in the drama department, I decided to take a few courses in the field, but bored of the pine tree scene and pressured by housing, I decided to leave Stockton behind.
Over the summer I attended Kean College (admittedly no great feet) and took courses in Acting I, Intro to Theatre, and a Theatre Workshop and achieved a 4.0.
Not wanting to continue at Kean, for pride's sake, for lack of people worth meeting, lack of things to do in the area, among many other reasons, and unwilling to return to Stockton for the reasons I left it, I took last semester off, not making the transfer deadline for Hunter with my application. This semester I will be attending Hunter and I will be making my schedule tomorrow (in theory).
As for fun... I have no idea what your concept of fun is. If it is S&M, B&D, or self mutilation you can forget about it. Aside from that, I am fairly open minded and am willing to experience nearly anything. I enjoy most forms of music (including but not limited to punk, industrial, alternative, metal, techno, country, western, blue-grass, jazz, classical), live theatre, movies (especially bizarre or humorous ones), walking excessively long distances (often without a specific destination), eating exotic foods (especially Indian, Japanese, Vietnamese, Thai, and Chinese), and I would be lying if I did not include sex (although my occasions to enjoy it having been lacking due to not meeting the right women).
That's all for now... I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours truly,
Brian Matthew Kessler