Rating:
Propaganda
The Scene: Erin is sitting on a throne made of bones, and Satan is sitting on the floor at her feet with a chain around his neck, the end attached to the throne. Erin holds a pitchfort in one hand. They are in what looks like a giant cave with lakes of magma everywhere, and lots of stalactites. Spooky, ghostly wailing is head in the background
Erin: Hi everyone it's me your favorite Erin, speaking to you from beyond the grave. Pretty neat huh? I've always wanted to be able to say that. But you do know what this means though don't you? If I can send you messages from Hel- sorry I mean Erinland.
Satan: It's HELL!
Erin: (stabs at Satan with her pitchfork) Shaddup! Oh and Satan what were you missing at the end of that sentence?
Satan: Nothing.
Erin: (she reaches behind the throne and gets a large hammer) What was that? I think you'd better appologize.
Satan: I'm sorry your most Supreme Royal Eminance. I am not fit to grovel at your dogs feet.
Erin: (Smooths back her hair with other hand) You wouldn't believe what a trial this police action has been.
Satan: Hostile takeover. (moves back a bit when Erin holds up the hammer threateningly again)
Erin: See what I mean? Nothing but headaches. Now where was I? Right, messages. Because I can send you messages from ERINLAND, then I can also haunt you. Don't worry, I'll discuss the details of that later. But now on to more important things. When I was planning this broadcast I was gong to bore you will a lot of details about where my money is.
Satan: There isn't any, Her Supreme Royal Eminance spent it all on her tank fleet. (File footage shot of the tanks encricling the perrimater)
Erin: I was also going to tell you how fun life was and all that crap, don't get me wrong it was fun but taking over legions of deamons is more fun. However, I've decided to take this opportunity to inform you about the way things are going to be from now on.
(Satan arranges a slide projector and screen, he will call up the appropirate slide for each of Erin's statements. Erin stands up, rests hammer on her shoulder, and starts pacing)
Erin: Number one. I am now in charge. No more Satan, just Erin and you may address me at all times as Supreme Royal Eminance.
(Satan holds up a sign that reads: "Save Satan" and tries to reach the pitchfork that Erin discarded. Erin hits Satan on the head with hammer and picks up the pitchfork.)
Erin: The use of pitchforks is now prohibited. (throws pitchfork into a lake of magma) Hammers are now the weapon of choice in Erinland.
Satan: What did you do that for? Everyone knows that pitchforks are far superior to hammers!
Erin: You are wrong. Do you want me to demonstrate?
(Satan shakes his head)
Erin: I didn't think so. Now, number three. Erinland will get as many religious festivals as heaven, and Halloween is now a month long festival. Four, Erinland will no longer be a dumping ground for idiots, if Saint Peter doesn't want them then I don't want them either. Five, gold statues will be erected of me in all major cities that wish to remain major cities.
Satan: You hear that pigeons.
Erin: All pigeons will be exterminated immediately. Number six, unlike some people (glares at Satan), I will punish people with lightening bolts but I respond well to gifts. Number seven, I am a Goddess, not a God or the God, please get it right or I refer you back to number six. Eight, I will haunt people just because I can, and finally.
Satan: This is a dosey.
Erin: By viewing and listening to this presentation you agree to abide by these laws and any further ones that may be created, or you will be punished. I own you.
(blackout)
Back to Veronica's Room
Back to the Common Room