title: Mission....Impossible! authoress: Ravena Kaiou email: KakyuuStarLt@aol.com my webpage: http://www.chickpages.com/comixcrew/cedhalia/index.html rating: 13 and up for some mild language Most everyone in Tokyo is a superhero, it seems. I mean, you've got Tsukino Usagi who transforms into Sailor Moon, and Heero Yuy the psychotic-but-irresistable Gundam Pilot....not many of your average teenagers around town. Of course, most of them probably moved after the disaster with Mugen Gakkuen Senior High, which is the school I go to. They rebuilt it and all, and now it looks even better than before, but a mysterious explosion can rattle your nerves a little bit, I guess. It's hard to believe I was one of those average kids at one time. And it's also hard to believe that little Lavender MacPherson could now blow them all away with her automatic rifle. Somehow I control the urge to destroy them all, as much as I've dreamed about it. But I've got to uphold the image of a straight-A student for as long as possible, otherwise my cover will be blown along with my classmates. Yeah, that's right. I'm a secret agent, and a damn good one at that if I do say so myself. In all the six months I've been doing this, no one has ever caught on. Lucky? You betcha! Especially with the idiotic comrades I've got to work with.... For instance, take the two Agent Harukas. You've got Haruka T. and Haruka S. Combine that with a Haruka Ten'ou who goes to our school and you've got a small catastrophe. Like the one time our employer was trying to contact Haruka S., who got confused and tried to transfer the call over to Haruka T., but sent it to the wrong Haruka T., namely Haruka Ten'ou. And that makes absolutely no sense at all, does it? Needless to say, there was quite a bit of confusion that day. Now we refer to Haruka S. as Nishi. Then there's Reiko, who I think is the most intelligent one of my comrades. Which isn't saying much, considering that she actually wondered if someone could see any better with a glass eye for about three weeks. Finally there's Yellow, who Reiko and I call Fox-Boy all the time. For reasons other than the fact that he's got fox ears, if you know what I'm saying. In other words, the fate of the world rests entirely on my shoulders. And mine alone. My first mission was also the hardest one I've ever had. And also the only one. But still, it started at two o'clock in the morning sometime in the summer.... I was fast asleep and dreaming of a certain Fox-Boy when the Mysterious Guy With A Bad Accent Who We Happen To Work For appeared on my computer screen. "Lavender, enter your codeword now!" his image instructed me. My response? A sleepily mumbled "You've got a sick mind, Fox-Boy." "Lavender! Now!" he demanded. I replied with a giggle. "LAVENDER! Dammit! Wake up!" he shouted. My eyes snapped open and I fell right out of bed and onto the wooden floor. "Good, you're awake," he continued in an annoyed tone of voice. "Now if you'd be so kind as to enter your codeword?" I typed in a word for him, all right. Two, to be precise. "Very funny! Knock off the comedy routine and enter your codeword!" Smirking, I typed in the real codeword. He seemed satisfied. "Good. See? That wasn't so hard, now was it?" he said a little too sweetly. "Right, real easy. Now what do you want?" I demanded crankily. Hey, how'd YOU like to be woken out of a pleasant dream at 2 a.m. by some old guy with a bad accent?! "We've just gotten word of the OZ Organization's new scheme to eliminate the Gundams. It's up to you, Haruka T., Nishi, Reiko, and Yellow to stop them!" "The Gundam Boys can handle it! They're old enough and plus they've got big indestructible machine-thingies that make towns and people go squish!" "Have you ever seen the Gundam Pilots?" "Er....should I have?" He didn't respond, instead five pictures of incredibly hot men appeared on the computer screen, each labeled with the pilot's name. "I'm on it!" I said quickly. "On the case, or on--" "Man! Shut up! You know what I meant!" Now it was his turn to smirk. "The five of you will be outfitted with the appropriate equipment," he assured me. "I'll be in contact with the others, but I'll expect you to be at Space Frontier Industries by 0400 hours." I stared at him. "Just be at the big observatory by four this morning!" he sputtered in an exasperated tone of voice. "Mission.....accepted," I answered solemnly. "Ending transmission." "Lavender! Don't you dare! I've got more to s--" The power button on a computer is a very handy thing to have when dealing with a Mysterious Guy With A Bad Accent Who You Happen To Work For. But there was no time to ponder the case details, I had to get out to Space Frontier Industries by 4 a.m. Which was, at this point, in one hour. Exactly one hour and fifteen minutes later my silver convertible screeched to a halt in front of Space Frontier Industries. Looking around, I noticed all of the other agents' cars in the parking lot. I was late, and the Mysterious Guy would not be pleased. My suspicions were correct, and it seemed to me that he had a little too much fun reeming me out in front of the others. Once his face had gone from purple to its normal color, he cleared his throat and began his instructions. "Down this hallway is the door to the workshop of Space Frontier Industries. Inside you will find five Mobile Suits, almost identical to the Gundams who you will be defending," he told us. "If you will follow me, I will assign you to your suits...." None of us let him finish before we went stampeding down the hallway and into the workshop, the very thought of piloting a weapon of mass destruction weighing heavily in our minds. Reiko was the first one in. "Whoa....." she breathed as she looked up. I followed her gaze and my jaw dropped. There, standing in the workshop, were five large Mobile Suits, each decked out with buster rifles, flamethrowers, beam sabers....the works! Instantly we began fighting over who got what suit. "ALL OF YOU SHUT UP!" the Mysterious Guy yelled. With meek apologies, we shut up and actually let him speak for once. After five boring, drawn out minutes of assignments, we ran up the steps to the cockpits of our designated Mobile Suits. I stepped back and took a good look at my own before I got into the cockpit. My thoughts? "This has got to be the biggest hunk of crap I've ever seen!" I had been assigned the oldest, crustiest, and ugliest of all the suits. Meanwhile, Nishi seemed perfectly happy with his assignment. "These are the five original Gundams," Mysterious Guy told us. "Since the pilots received their new Gundams and have no further use for these, it seemed a shame to discard five perfectly good Gundanium Alloy suits." He paused and shot me a 'see-what-happens-when-you-annoy-me' look, then continued. "Reiko, you will be piloting Nataku, also known as Gundam 05." Reiko squealed with delight, obviously knowing more about the Gundams than I did. In the end, Nishi got Sandrock, Fox-Boy got Deathscythe, and Haruka T. got Heavyarms. Mine didn't even have a cool name like that. "It's called WHAT?!" I exclaimed in disbelief after I heard what Mysterious Guy had referred to it as. "Wing Zero," he replied with a smug look. "The first Gundam of them all, and also the most powerful." Well at least it was aptly named. Zero described it in every way possible. It looked brand new, but I could tell it had been reconstructed several times. And I was pretty sure that it would fall in seconds during a battle. Nevertheless, I closed the cockpit hatch and prepared for the first day of training. After about a week's worth of training, I had realized that my Gundam was actually the biggest, baddest, and best of all the others. It could go actually go through the Earth's atmosphere without burning up, and the beam cannon could flash fry a buffalo in half a second. But Wing Zero had a bad effect on me, according to the rest of the agents. After battling with Haruka T., she had complained about my persistance. "Lavender, what were you doing?! This was only a simulation!" she had whined. "Huh? What?" "I was signaling for you to stop! I ran out of ammunition!" I couldn't remember ever having fought Haruka T., let alone even fighting. But all the other agents verified her story, so I just let it go, even though I was very confused. Mysterious Guy passed by us. "Oh, incidentally, Lavender? I forgot to warn you about the Zero System," he said in that too-sweet tone of voice he used so often. The time had finally come for us to join the real Gundams in their fight against OZ. We had trained hard for a whole month, and we had become quite adept with our suits. Mysterious Guy gazed at us all as we sat in the cockpits of our Gundams, ready to go off to battle. "All of you have earned your titles of Gundam Pilots," he told us. "And, Lavender?" "Yes?" "The self-destruct button is still connected in your Gundam. Use it as you see fit." It would have taken forty-eight muscles for me to frown. But it only took four for me to extend my middle finger and tell him to bite me. Soon we were flying over Tokyo in our Mobile Suits in search of the Gundam Pilots. Each of us kept our communicators on in case of emergency, but Fox-Boy and Reiko seemed to think that emergency meant the same as flirting. I was almost ready to throw up because of those two when the radar detected five objects moving at high speeds not far ahead. "Is that them?" Nishi whispered. The readout showed that the objects were made of Gundanium alloy. And only two things could be made of that metal: incredibly large comets headed for the Earth's surface or the Gundams. "I'm going in," I said over the communicator as I flew Wing Zero up next to one of the Gundams. If anyone was going to get one of those fine Gundam boys, it was gonna be me! "This is the pilot of Wing Zero speaking. Identify yourselves," I demanded over the communicator. "This is the pilot of Deathscythe Hell Custom. Who are you?" "Lavender MacPherson, the leader of the group who's supposed to be helping you defeat OZ!" There was a silence and I was worried that I had somehow offended the pilot. But he came back on after a moment. "Lady, we put in a request for you to help us two years ago. OZ has already been defeated by us," he said. "WHAT?!" "It's true. I might run and hide, but I never tell a lie." "Sorry about that," I apologized, and I flew back to our own group. "Guess what!" I exploded over the communicator. "Mysterious Guy sent us on a two-year-old case!" The words that came over the communicator next would have put Heero Yuy himself to shame. After about ten minutes of solid curses in various languages, we flew back to base to talk to the Mysterious Guy With A Bad Accent Who We Happen To Work For. When we got there, Mysterious Guy was waiting for us. I jumped out of the cockpit angrily. "What's the idea of sending us on a two-year-old case?!" I yelled. He shrugged calmly. "Slow email server." And so, Mission Impossible came to an end, and then we were assigned to Mission Not-Quite-So-Impossible-As-The-First-Mission. But of course, that's a whole 'nother story..... MORAL: Never trust Internet email servers, no matter how much free web space they offer you.