The Things People Will Do to Be Rid of Fangirls (and Fanboys) By : Minako Piccolo was medititating. There was nothing unusual about his meditation, except that it was being done fourty feet off the ground. But, then again, fourty feet off the ground was pretty normal for him. It was meditating like this that he sensed something. Looking around, and then above him, he noticed a bright light headed towards the earth. Straightening in the sky, he headed to where it looked like it would land, curious about what it was. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Piccolo reached the spot where it had landed. There was a large crater around what could now be identified as a space ship. The door opened and Piccolo's eyes widened as a green hand came out. "No... it can't be..." He whispered. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Gohan was studying. His mom had insisted, and she was hard to say 'no' to. Then he heard the screaming. Hopping up to his feet, he raced out the door, just in time to see Piccolo run down the road with a large crowd of people on his tail. Gohan blinked, then headed farther out the door to see what was going on. "Gohan. I thought you were sudying..." Gohan sighed. "Yes Mom." He retreated back into the house, still curious about Piccolo. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Goku sat in a tree. There was no real reason for him to be there, but it was somewhere to be. Reaching over, he took a piece of fruit from the branch beside him, then fell out of the tree as it was slammed into by a strong force. He landed on his head. Standing up and rubbing his head, he saw Piccolo standing beside the tree he'd been in. Piccolo was panting and leaning heavily on the tree. "I... I think I lost them..." Goku blinked. "Lost who, Piccolo?" Piccolo looked at Goku as if he had just noticed he was there. Then he blushed. Goku had never seen him blush, in fact, before now, he couldn't even imagine Piccolo blushing. It was quite comical actually, the serious, green man blushing like that. After a moment Goku shrugged it off. Then it occurred to him that Piccolo still hadn't answered him. "Piccolo?" "It's not important..." Goku watched him carefully. "Why not?" He asked, curious now. Piccolo caught his compusure there, and returned to his normal green shade. "It's not important." Goku opened his mouth to answer to that, but was cut off by a loud shout. "I've found him!" Piccolo's eyes went wide as a huge group of people, mostly girls, but with a few guys, came running over. "PICCOLO-SAMA!!!" Piccolo began to back up. Goku raised an eyebrow. THIS was what he'd been running from? "No... stay back..." Piccolo began, but it was pointless. The large group began to advance on him. Piccolo took flight and started on his way. "Hurry up! He's getting away!" "Piccolo-Sama, come back!!" Goku twitched. 'Fangirls?' He noticed one slower boy pass by him. 'Even some fanboys...' Goku twitched again. 'Piccolo has... Fangirls...' ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Piccolo just couldn't go fast enough. He was being chased to the ends of the earth by the one force that would never quit, the one force he couldn't fight... fangirls. He shivered. Even fanboys. Three more shiploads had arrived after the first... This was why he had left in the first place... *FLASH* Piccolo is standing alone on a hill in a different world. He looks much the same as he does now. He stiffens as a cry of "PICCOLO-SAMA!!!" travels through the air. He tries to escape, but to no avail. The fangirls... and boys... attack him, even after he's taken flight, they continue to follow him. Numerous energy attacks from jealous boys come at him, hitting him and causing him to fall from the sky and into the waiting arms of the fangirls... and fanboys. Piccolo shivered... *FLASH* Piccolo running in a cave. He stops to catch his breath. Fangirls show up, blocking the way in front of him. He spins around, but there are already fanboys blocking the other direction. He begins to gather his energy, but the fans get there first, glomping onto him. Piccolo shuddered... *FLASH* Piccolo floating a few feet up in the air, reading a message. It reads: "The Piccolo-Sama Official Fanclub invites you to be the guest of honour at all of our meetings. PLEASE come Piccolo-Sama!!!" It is signed the Piccolo-Sama Official Fanclub President. Piccolo blinks. "I have a fanclub?" He asks no one in particular. Piccolo frowned even more than usual... *FLASH* Finally it had become to much. Running away from his fangirls and fanboys, He fled the planet, and came to earth, where they didn't seem to be able to find him. Piccolo sighed. 'Now they're back... I can't leave earth until I've conquered it... What do I do?' He drew a blank. Fangirls (and boys) were nearly impossible to get rid of once you had them... Piccolo sighed. There were far too many of them for him to fight, people with that much determination were never easy to defeat. He sighed yet again. Maybe he could start trying energy attacks... but that would only be temporary, they always came back. Piccolo sat in the air and thought for hours and hours, until something finally occurred to him. "Maybe... just maybe..." he whispered, already attempting to work out his plan. "It might work..." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Piccolo was finally making the last touches. He checked the course one more time, then nodded. "Yeah, that's right..." He said softly. Then he shut the door and pressed ignite. The engine started and the spacecraft took off. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A little ways away, the horde of fangirls and fanboys, who were always reasonably near their Piccolo-Sama, even when they didn't know where he was, watched as a spacecraft took off. "Bye-bye Piccolo-San!" Called a little boy perched atop a man's shoulder. The boy was waving and so was the man. "Bye Piccolo!" The man called. There were other people around as well, all waving their farewells. The fans blinked, then were on the man in a second. "What do you *mean* 'goodbye Piccolo'?!?!" They all yelled in unision. The man shrugged. Then pointed up in the sky. "Piccolo left... I can't remember where he said he was going but..." He trailed off as the fangirls and fanboys ran off en masse. He blinked then shrugged. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hours later, four more ships took off in the same general direction as the first one had. Goku watched them leave. "There they go... better wait awhile before I get him though, there could be some left." He was still amazed by the story Piccolo had told him. To think a guy like Piccolo was considered a bishounen on his world... and he had such devoted fans too... Goku looked up at the sky again. Just a little while longer... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Piccolo sat in a tree. Actually, he was a few inches off the branch, but nothing extravagant... just in case they saw him. He saw someone coming, stiffened, then moved to the other side of the tree. Then he saw who it was, and waited for him to reach the tree. "Well?" He asked. "They left three hours ago, I don't think there are any left. I guess your safe now, Piccolo." Said Goku. Piccolo jumped down from the tree and looked kind of awkward. "Thank you Goku." Goku shrugged. "No problem. I know how bad fangirls can be, Piccolo, I had to get married before mine left me alone. Even then, some still stuck around..." Piccolo shuddered. Then he floated in the air, and left Goku alone in the forest. He faintly heard Goku call Nimbus as he headed off. He was happy. The fangirls (and boys) would be chasing nothing in exactly two days, when the capsule would come in contact with the sun. His almost smile faded into the regular frown as he thought about where he was headed. Then he wondered if it really had been worth it... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Strike one!" Piccolo groaned from where he was on the bench. How had Yamcha put up with these people...? They were terrible. He sighed 'at least it pays well' he thought to himself. Then he went back to brooding about the cost of spacecraft on this planet, and just how much money he owed Goku... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A month later, in the Middle of Nowhere... "I don't see anything! Where is he?!" One girl slammed her fist against the wall. "Be patient, I'm sure we'll find him sooner or later. For now... we have posters." Said a girl lounging in a chair with a magazine called "Bishounen" dated four years ago in her lap. On the far side of the small room, there was a group of drooling girls surrounding a section of the wall. "Piccolo-Sama...." One of them whispered. "We're coming for you..." Another one sighed. Back on earth, on the bench of a baseball game, Piccolo sneezed. The End ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Like, ok, I know Nameck is made up of numerous guys and not much else (if that was a spoiler for anyone, my sincerest of apologies) But fangirls aren't limited to one planet. Actually, to be dead honest with you, I didn't know there were no females on Nameck when I wrote this, so I'm just making excuses for it. Just consider them from another planet, kay. ^_^ Any C&C are welcome. Thanx! Disclaimer Dragonball Z is rights to Akira Toriyama. I claim no right to his genius, just to my insanity.