It was a dark and stormy night.. Well, it wasn�t actually very dark. The moon was rather full that evening, and did a nice job of lighting up the area.

Let me start again.

It was a somewhat well lit and stormy- Um, scratch that, too. The weather wasn�t really bad enough to be considered "stormy", just mildly unpleasant, (You probably wouldn�t want to go frolicking through it, because.. Well, um, you�d get really wet, and cold, and.. Stuff).

Ahem.

It was a somewhat well lit and drizzly nigh- Hm.. Now that I think about it..

Aw, to heck with the stupid thing. It was night, okay? And there was a significant amount of liquid falling from the sky, alright? Alright.

A person of the more feminine persuasion, (I.E. A girl), sat in front of her computer, staring blankly at the monitor, facing the scourge of the artistically inclined, the plague of the literary community, the horror of all authors..

Writer�s block.

She�d been doing exactly nothing for the past five hours, twenty-nine minutes, and thirteen seconds. And she wasn�t even enjoying her inactivity.

It was getting old.

"Well.. This sucks." She sighed.

A fair assessment. She�d "disposed" of every single unhealthy food, (?), product in the house, (Which was really too bad, because she was having a horrible craving for a Cheez Whiz and M&M sandwich right about then), had discovered repeatedly that she could not fit her hand into a dice bag, read every single warning label in sight, and had been wearing her Lampshade of Happiness for a good forty minutes, without any success. She�d even donned her Exciting Cape, (..Technically, it was a flannel shirt with the arms tied around her neck, but I won�t tell if you don�t).

The Girl slumped over in her chair, straining her quickly deteriorating thinking capacities for something to occupy herself with.

An idea suddenly struck her, like a rock in the side of the head, (Which wasn�t an unfamiliar sensation for her, believe you me).

Stopping only briefly to ponder why people throwing hard, blunt objects at her was such a common occurrence, The Girl quickly hunted around her hard drive, and finally found what she was searching for.

Four clicks later, and she was in the company of two.. Sheep?

~ Heeey! Dudette! Like, long time, no see! ~

# Baaa. #

The Girl grinned at the two yellow and purple rams now bouncing happily on her screen. "Hey, Bob! Hiya, Herb! How�s it rolling?"

~ Not too shabby.. Kinda� woolly, �cause we�re, y�know, sheep and stuff. ~ Bob replied casually.

# Baaa, baaa. #

She scratched her lampshade, not entirely sure about the meaning of Herb�s message, (If it even had one.. These were sheep, for crying out loud). "Er.. Right." She shook her head, and continued. "Anyway, I need you guys� to give me a hand here."

~ Like, uh, spill it, babe. ~

"Alrighty, and don�t call me babe. It just sounds kinda� gross coming from a sheep."

~ Oh, right. ~

"Okay.. I�ve got this mondo case of writer�s block, right? And I have to get this next part of my one fanfic done by Monday. Well, I was wondering if either of you two would help me o-"

# Baaa. Baaa, baaa. #

~ Sure, dudette! Where you stuck? ~

"Well, Spot�s about to.. Er, you see, he�s been.. Um, lemme� just bring it up, so you can see for yourself."

The Girl�s cursor zoomed across her monitor, between the two sheep, and down to the task bar, to "bring up" her file..

Tragedy struck.

Her computer froze.

Her jaw dropped open, in shock and horror. The Girl realized she�d forgotten to save any of her recent progress.

Uh oh.

~ Uh.. Dudette? You okay? �Cause you�re, like, um, lookin� kinda� psycho right now. ~

She whimpered, still as her computer, (Save for the sheep). "My story.."

# Baaa? #

The Girl�s face began to twitch as her gaze narrowed into an angry glare. "ARGH! You stupid computer! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you! Why�d you have to shut down now?!" She shouted, getting ready to really give it a good tongue-lashing.

~ Hey, hey! Chill out! ~ The narcoleptic sheep cried, desperately trying to keep her from doing something stupid, (Which was like trying to make her breathe water.. It just wasn�t gonna� happen).

The Girl, however, was beyond reasoning by that time. "You know what?! I wish.. I wish.." She swiveled away from the uncooperative bit of technology, fumbling for a fate horrible enough for it.

Her eyes scanned the immediate vicinity, and finally fell upon a video, one she hadn�t even been aware of owning.. Strange? Perhaps something to be suspicious of?.. Nah.

If you�re The Girl, that is.

"I wish goblins would come, and take you away. Right now!"

Lightning struck, (Outside), blinding her for a split second, and was gone, taking the power with it.

The Girl glanced about herself, royally annoyed. "Man.. This-"

Another flash illuminated a tall, dark figure, standing in the computer room.

"Sucks." She finished weakly.

Uh oh..

She stared at the form, (A man, she thought), sitting absolutely still, an idiotic look of surprise frozen on her face.

"Uh.. Hi?"

He stepped forward, towards her. "What�s said, is said."

The Girl fiddled nervously with her T-shirt. "Yeah, I, uh, know.. I didn�t think that "hi" was too offensive, though."

"Oh, you didn�t?"

She paused, beginning to suspect that just maybe he wasn�t the sharpest pencil in the box. "I just, um, said that, yes."

It dawned on The Girl that the normal blue glow from the computer screen wasn�t, well, there, and, panicked, she felt behind herself for the machine..

Nothing.

"Dude! Where�d my computer go?" She asked, (Apparently no one in particular), looking about frantically for it.

He tilted his head to the side. "You know very well where it is."

She blinked. "I do? I, uh, didn�t know I knew that.. But I guess if I�d known I knew that, then I, like, wouldn�t have asked, because I already would�ve known what I know, but I didn�t know, so I didn�t know what I know." She cleared her throat. "Hey.. Could you possibly, like, turn the lights back on? Because I can�t see worth anything in the dark."

The Man again began walking to her. "Girl, g- Oof!" He yelped, tripping over a footstool.

The Girl grinned in the darkness. "Guess I�m not the only one, huh?"

The Man picked himself up off the floor, after taking a less-than-graceful nose-dive onto it, muttering curses the entire way. Blasted furniture.. Who with half a goblin�s brain would place an ottoman in the middle of a room?

To avoid a repeat of the nasty little incident, he snapped his fingers, dissolving the Darkness he�d cast upon the house.

The sight that greeted him was not exactly what he�d pictured.

The Girl, slouched down in a rolling, computer chair, dressed in decidedly baggy denim pants, (Jeans, he thought they were called now), and a large black.. What was it? T-shirt, yes, that�s it..

That, he could handle. But the disturbing part was she had a lampshade stuck on her head, (Over a baseball cap that covered what he guessed was rather stringy, shoulder length reddish brown hair, pulled back into a messy ponytail), and what looked like a flannel shirt tied around her like a cape.

His eyes widened slightly. "You�re.. Not what I�d expected."

She grinned at him.. She actually grinned at him. "I get that a lot. I don�t know why exactly, but- Aw, man!" Her face contorted into a look of.. Alarm, he guessed. But she was so odd, who could say for sure? "Bob! Herb! My sheep! Aw, man..!"

The Man quirked an eyebrow, the unfamiliar feeling of worry beginning to nag at him. Sheep? Did she say her sheep? Gods above, who am I dealing with?

"Hey, dude.. You�ve, like, had your fun, okay, so could I have my computer back now? I mean, I�d really appreciate it, because I have all my, y�know, stuff on it-"

A cruel smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, exposing his, um, teeth. "Oh yes, you may have your.. Contraption back."

The Girl looked up at him, peeking out from under her lampshade. "Really?" She asked, (Sounding disturbingly similar to a certain purple, fuzzy, animated cat.. Hm.. Come to think of it, she on a whole was disturbingly similar to that certain purple, fuzzy, animated cat..).

A nasty little chuckle rumbled in his chest, (..Which, under other circumstances, could�ve been interpreted a great number of ways). "If you solve my Labyrinth, that is."

Her jaw dropped open, (The Man thought, amused, that she resembled a startled guppy). "WHAT?!! You�ve gotta� be kidding me, man! Just who the heck do you think you are, Elvis?!" She squeaked, leaping up from her chair.

He crossed over to where she stood, and drew himself up to full height, towering over her, (The Girl was not in any danger of being accused of tallness). "I am Jareth, the Goblin King and ruler of the Underground." He announced haughtily.

The Girl pondered that for a moment. "Y�know, that�s pretty cool, Your Majority, but, with all due respect and stuff, you just don�t get it."

Jareth�s eyes nearly popped out of his head. How could anyone have the sheer audacity to talk back to him, let alone this.. This.. Mortal girl?!

"And what is it exactly that I "don�t get"?" He demanded coolly.

She sighed, and, as though dealing with a small child or Power Ranger, slowly pointed at the clock, hanging above the computer�s desk, then held up three fingers. "A, it�s three o�clock in the morning. Two, my parents will be, like, extremely torqued if I go dimension hopping with some weird guy they don�t know. And D, it�s three o�clock in the stinking AM!"

He fixed her with a steely glare, very displeased at her reaction. "Girl.." He began, producing a crystal ball out of thin air, (As opposed to that pesky thick air).

The Girl was opened her mouth, and stopped, momentarily distracted by the "shiny rock". "Dude! That was awesome! How�d you-"

The dazzling sphere quickly morphed into a snake, coiled around the Goblin King�s hands. "Don�t. Defy. Me." He commanded, throwing it at her.

This should give her a proper scare. He thought, smug.

"Uh, I didn�t know I was defying y- Whoa!" She yelped, stumbling to catch the serpent. "Cool snake, m- I mean, Your Excessiveness, but you want to, like, warn me next time you feel like tossing reptiles?"

He stared at her, astonished. Dear Gods, she�s a complete imbecile. He thought incredulously. How in the world did this child manage to remain alive long enough to wish something away? Where does she find enough intellect to breathe?!

Once the snake had transformed into an ascot, (Goblin attached), The Girl, not noticing the little creature, rolled it up into a ball, and, much to the goblin and Goblin King�s dismay, lobbed it, sending it, (Shrieking), out the open window.

He stood, staring after the tiny monster, mouth hanging open. "You.. I was actually fond of that goblin!"

"You were?"

"Not really." He replied without thinking, before catching himself. "But that�s not the point! You threw one of my subjects out that window!"

She shrugged, and walked over to the aforementioned opening, peering out of it, leaving him fuming behind her. "Well, I�m, like, sure we could probably find it if we looked-" She noticed, suddenly, that this particular window did not lead to her backyard anymore.

She blinked, and turned back to Jareth. "Okay.. I would really like to know where you put my yard, because I�m going to want it back soon."

The Girl became aware of the fact she was no longer standing inside the computer room, but rather on a dusty, brambly hill, with a very nice view of a very unnice looking maze, framed by a bleak, pumpkin colored sky.

"Well.. This is just peachy."

Feeling much better now, he smirked triumphantly. "Welcome to my kingdom. Lovely, isn�t it?"

"No, not really. Is it just me, or is the sky kinda�.. Well, orange?"

His grin grew slightly forced, irritation taking it�s toll. But he had a role to play. "Turn back, girl.. Turn back before it�s too late."

"You see, Your Insolence, I can�t really do that, because I�m kinda�, like, stuck here-"

"What a pity." He sighed, entirely sincere. I wish you could turn back.

The Girl glanced around, as though looking for something. "Um.. Where�s the nearest bathroom?"

"It�s further than you think."

She gave a little whimper. "What?"

Gritting his teeth, he continued with the ritual. The sooner I can get away from her, the happier I shall be. "Time is short-"

"You�re telling me." She muttered.

Jareth closed his eyes, trying to ignore her. "You have thirteen.."

He stopped, thoughtful.

He might be a liar and a cheat, but he did believe in giving people a sporting chance, (..For a little while, at least). The Goblin King eyed his new opponent critically.

She was currently trying to remove her head from the lampshade, where it had apparently become stuck.

He shook his head. Thirteen hours? I doubt she could find her feet in that amount of time.

"Ah, days.. You have thirteen days to solve the Labyrinth, before your.. Sheep.. Become one of us."

He smiled, relishing the next part.

"Forever."

"Wumph?!"

He gave her a strange look. "Excuse me?"

The Girl held up a hand, and, with a few great yanks, dislodged the Lampshade of Happiness from her head, then returned it to it�s proper place on her brow. "I said, wumph?!" She stalked up to him, slack jawed. "You, expect me, to, like, go through that.. That thing over there?! Are you nuts?!"

He pursed his lips, nose twitching in outrage. "What was your name again, girl?"

She stopped mid-sentence, caught offside. "Wha? My name? M-" She closed her mouth with a sharp *clack*, a sly smile lighting up her face, (What he could see of it, beneath the lampshade). "Call me.. Misery."

Jareth was the Goblin King, the omnipotent one, the lady�s man, the cunning ruler of the Labyrinth. He�d bested those of legend; Oberon, Loki, Pan, the flashing 12:00 on his VCR. He was sure of himself to the point of arrogance, (..And was not entirely wrong to do so), and was always in control.