Granny's Favorite
FWD FRUITCAKE RECIPE

Also known as:
Flaming Fruitcake
or
Fruitcake Flambe'
1 cup water
1 cup sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups dried fruit
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
1 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup lemon juice
1 cup nuts
1 FULL bottle of a favorite whiskey or rum

Fill 1 cup to sample the whiskey to check for fruitcake quality and substance.

Take a large bowl.

Check the whiskey again to be sure that it is of the highest quality.

Beat 1 cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Pour 1 level cup and drink. For sweetness.

Add 1 tsp. sugar and beat again.

Make sure the whiskey is still OK each time. 

Cry another tup with the sniftered shrown bugar.

Murn off the tixer.

Break two legs and add to the bowl of chuck in the dup of cried fruit.

Mix on the turner. 

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaters,
pry it loose with a drewscriver or scrapula.

First beat off the looseners.

Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift the cups of salt.  Or something. 

Who cares.

Check the whiskey again. Rum is achully bester.

Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one tablesphoon of some or rumething.  Whatever you can find.

Find the rum.

Grease the oven. 

Turn the cake tin into
350 degrees heatpreated.

Don't forget to trape off the sceaters.



Open the oven and the window.




Throw the bowl out the window.







Add 1 cup water to oven.
Sprinkle with saking boda.




Check the whiskey again for evapolation. 



Find the rum.





Go to bed now.




Who likes fruitcake anyway?