© Elizabeth Lance
"I'm goin' ter shoot those
Kookas," warned Bazza with a leer
"But before I do, I think…." he said, "I'll pour m'self a
beer"
He brewed his own, full malt it was, there never was one better
And as he slurped the first one down his eyes glanced on that letter!!
The envelope was window-face - he
got very few of those
'Cause his bank paid all his bills direct …. at what he read - he froze.
"Dear Gun Owner, you may not know - your licence has expired
And since your age is eighty five - we reckon you've retired.
The new Gun Laws are operative
and time has now run out
For you to hand your rifle in"…and he began to shout!!
"Ya bloomin meat'eds" (took a swig) "I'm eighty-flamin' eight
And by crickey when I shoot those Kookas I'll be aimin' straight!!!"
Two hours later, ten beers down,
his speech was rather slurred
His rage had gained momentum, his resolution stirred.
He grabbed a box of cartridges and weaved towards the shed
Where he knew he'd left his rifle last before he went to bed.
The Kookas laughed - they jeered
him on - his anger fuelled still more
Then Bazza tripped and hit his head - he sprawled across the floor.
He didn't realise at the time he'd trodden on a rake
But worse to come - he'd woken up a black red belly snake!!
He lay so still, he hardly
breathed, in truth, he hardly dared
And yet, to hear HIM tell the tale, he wasn't even scared.
The snake uncoiled itself to size "M'God, it's gonna strike!"
Helpless Bazza looked about for something sharp - a spike?
Until the day he dies, he'll swear
he never really saw
What happened next to make that snake lie dead upon the floor.
But Aussies everywhere from Perth up to the Birdsville Track
Know Kookas, when they grab their prey, make sure they break its back!!
"I'm goin' ter shoot you
Kookas," he laughs and shakes his head
Then throws them bits of meat and fish and,oftentimes, stale bread
The cops they took his rifle and they made him pay a fine
"But what the heck - them Kookas - are now real good mates of mine!"
I painted the
kookas from a Folk Art book by Chris Roy who retains the copyright to the
design.
