Val: Um....Ill be back...later
Val: *walks away muttering about crazy crazy places. And is replaced by Brad, a better character.*

NW: Did Tokay just walk across this room naked in front of our four underage children? I thought Joey was the pervert.
Lori: Mommy, what was that little thing on the big green man?
Clio (smiling): Shh, I'll explain later.

*A giant ham sandwhich walks in*
Sandwhich: HI! IM A GIANT SANDWHICH! CAN I SEE THE BABY???!?!!!!
::Tokay tears the sandwich in half and eats it::
Tokay: That was convenient!
::Sabre rolls her eyes::
Sandwhich: Good job! You should never let a giant sandwhich touch a baby, we will just sell them on the black market!
*The sandwhich then screams and is eaten.*
*XMG walks in, his arm is there, and he looks pretty happy to see everybody.*
XMG: Hey. Can I see the baby?
::Sabre panics, and puts herself between XMG and Dante, pulling out a knife as she does so::
Sabre: Back off!
*XMG unzips himself from the back. Its another giant sandwhich*
Sandwich: Good job! You never ever let a giant sandwhich have your baby! Even if he is dressed like a teenager!
*The sandwhich walks away*

Spiffy: "Hey! Where's the welcoming commitee? Don't we deserve one?"
*A demon rapes Spiffy in the ass*
Demon: Welcome to Hell
*The Demon runs away never to be seen again*

Kulu: "oh, and i have the uncanny ability to get on boss-lady's nerves."
*Spiffy rolls his eyes.*
Spiffy: "That's uncannily easy there Kulu."
*kulu turns to spiffy.* "don't you have a demon to see about an ass raping?"
Spiffy: "Demons? Where have you been? I've had the president rape my ass, Mr. T has had his way with me (he uses the phrase 'sucka' more than you would imagine), and need I mention the french?"

They were gonna hire male strippers because its Salome's birthday. I dont wanna be around for that, and you dont either.
---XMG

*SkyWedge walks in and gets himself a Code Red Mountain Dew. He sits at a table and stares at the stand that's waiting for the Forever Crystal.*
::jaik appears::
Jaik: a watched pot never boils kid
*XMG walks in*
XMG: Somebody say pot?

SkyWedge: I'd say Salome. I don't really know Jaik and he seemsa little moody to be a leader.
XMG: Well I guess he is. He trys to be leader in like a month. He did a pretty good job, actually, but the resistance doesnt like leaders I guess....is it like that when im in charge?
SW: No, we mostly make fun of you behind your back.
XMG: Hmmm, I guess I should write myself a note then.
XMG: *scribbles "Be @$$hole to NotWedge's kid" on a peice of paper and puts it in his pocket.*
XMG: Better.

I dont like this place. I think my bed tried to eat me last night and my mirror been laughing at me.
---XMG

Tokay: *yawns*
Tokay: yeah come on lets hurry this up!
Val: Fuck you Tokay!
XMG: Hey, she aint too bad, at this...
Val: Fuck you too!
XMG: See what I mean?
Tokay: Well shes got the bad attitude but shes too good looking to be XMG.

XMG: Why dont you just wipe her mind or something?
Sabre: Because I don't know what's wrong with her. She could be you, for all I know.
XMG: No, she could be you for all I know...
Sabre: That doesn't even make any sense, XMG.
XMG: No you dont make any sense, Sabre! You dont make any sense!

Human Torch: Fine, I'll live then but I still insist you guys move into the Baxter Building. There's plenty of room and you guys already trashed that house you were staying in.
::Sabre whispers to Tokay "I'm torn between pride at the amazing amount of destruction we did to Clio's aunt's house, and yet still ashamed"::

Jaik: i think you like me
::jaik winks at likwid::
Jaik: i really do
Liqwid: Oh yeah, I really like you. I like the thought of Tokay reaming you up the ass for following around his girl.
Jaik: i think you just like to fantsize about Tokay reaming guys up the ass.

*XMG stands in front of one of Field Commanders missles and lifts his hand out. The missle stops, points into the sky and flies off.*
Rigley: Whered you send it?
XMG: France.
Rigley: Nice!
*XMG and Rigley high five.*
XMG: Alright listen up, evil doers! Youre all gonna have to stop raping the city of Pacifica or else I'm gonna have to start raping your faces.
Rigley: Ew.

*Meanwhile in a SF apartment building. XMG is sitting there with his friend Rigley smoking a bowl, drinking Capri Suns, and watching TV when the show is stopped due to breaking news.*
XMG: Sweet, I love breaking news.
Rigley: Ugh, I hate it, its always interupting at the good parts of things. Now well never know what happens to the Seinfeld gang.
XMG: They go to jail.
Rigley: Thats retarded! What a horrible way to end a TV series! Next time I see that cheapskate Jerry Seinfeld Im punching him the face.
XMG: You can probably find him at the high school.

*Kama takes over Tokay's mind before he can connect to chucks to Kama's head. Tokay puts down the nunchucks and starts acting stupid.*
Tokay: Duuuuh, my name is Godzookie and I'm a big reeeatard.
*Tokay slips on a pebble and falls on his ass, then he craps his pants(!!!) as Kama applauds. He then lets go of his hold on Tokay.*
Kama: Oh geez that was smart, Zookie. Youve crapped your pants. You must be so emberassed! By the way whats an XMG?

IM XMG HERE TO LET YA KNOW
IM HERE TO BUMRUSH THIS SHOW
IM FROM THE STREETS NOT DOIN CRACK
CHECK YOU OUT LATER CAUSE ILL BE BACK
YO BABY YO BABY YO!!!!!!
---XMG

Pyro: Never met 'em, myself. They probably don't want to meet me.
Th'Clove: Why thats nonsense, Pyro! As far as traitors go youre one of the better ones ive met.

Who HASN'T hijacked something at one time or another?
---Pyro

Pyro: Well, uh, I'm just here because that Orphan bloke asked me to take part in a space mission....
Th'Clove: (chuckiling) And what a space mission it was...
Pyro: Yeah, no thanks to YOU, mate
Th'Clove: At least I'm not going to help destroy reality....nothing personal by that by the way. Start calling for Cab. Cab! Cab! Cab! Where are you cab! Is the cab coming!?
*A Cab stops.*
Cab driver: Where to?
Th'Clove: The Airport.
*Everybody gets in and is driven to the airport.*
Airport lady: Where to?
Th'Clove: New York.
Airport lady: Have your bags been out of sight with you in the last 12 hours?
Th'Clove: What bags?
Airport lady: Has anybody you dont know asked you to put something in your bags?
Th'Clove: What bags!?
Airport: Has Osama Bin Laden approached you and asked you to give your lives for Allah?
*Th'Clove looks to the others, hoping for an answer to this complex question.*
Pyro: Yes he did, and we killed his camel-f*cking ass! Now let us on the f*cking plane!!
Th'Clove: We did??
Airport Lady: Hey, I'm just trying to do my job. As you know recent events have forced us to intensify our security procedures. Now please bare with me, and answer the questions seriously this is the last one...at any time during the past 24 hours have you experienced a sudden seething hatred for the United States of America quickly followed by a sudden aching desire to murder each and every one of them in the name of Allah...or any god for that matter?
Th'Clove: N-no?
*He looks at everybody else.*
Th'Clove: No right?
Pyro: No
Pyro: ::mutters "though I'm currently tempted...."::
Lady: Then welcome to Big Bopper Airlines and enjoy your flight, you board at gate 420.
::When you're wearing a big flamethrower, you kind of attract attention from the guards and metal detectors::
Security Guard: TERRORIST!
*All of the guards run at Pyro.*
Pyro: Well yeah, but that was a couple of years ago...
::he fires up the flamethrower, and surrounds himself with a ball of fire. Dem bullets will melt before they hit him::
Pyro: The rest of you, go on!
Th'Clove: But what will become of you my unlikely ally?
Pyro: Uh, if they let me go...I'll come after you. I'll try, anyway. Your mission's more important than me....
Th'Clove: Good luck!
*Th'Clove and the others run off with the crowd that is rushing past security now that all of the security officers are busy shooting at Pyro.*
:: Pyro stands still, not attacking the guards. He just stands there and lets them shoot at him; the bullets all melt anyway. He looks regretful that he can't go with the others, but maybe a bit relieved, too::
Pyro: Sorry mates...y'll have to try harder to shoot me.
*The Security Guards stop shooting, stumped as to what to do.*
A Security Guard: He's gonna have to take down that fire bubble sooner or later...
Pyro: Or, I can just walk away, and you can watch me go.
Pyro: ::he slowly starts to walk away, his fiery shield still intact and burning::
Security Guard #1: What do we do??
Security Guard #2: Ehhh just let him on the @#%$ plane. Were all getting replaced tommorow anyway.
*The Security Guards all go back to thier normal busneiss.*
:: Pyro snickers, and hurries off to join the others on the plane::
Pyro: That wasn't so tough.
*The others are standing in line to board the plane.*
::Gokitalo and WC Gokitalo (who for some reason took a different cab then everyone else) join up with everyone in the line::
WC Gokitalo: Woah Pyro man, we saw everything, thanks for distracting them. Don't think my future counterpart's sword (referring to regular Gokitalo's katanna) would've gotten past security
Gokitalo: indeed.
Th'Clove: Yes, truly thanks are in order. I dont think my semi automatic submachine guns or bag full of pipebombs would have been smiled upon either.
Th'Clove: *He points to a burlap sack which is behind him.*
WC Gokitalo: Hey... do we even have tickets for this flight?
*Th'Clove appears confused*
Th'Clove: Tick-ets?

*Pinsky floats into the room in a hot air baloon dressed like somebody out of Sgt. Peppers. He has a big smile on his face as he floats on out of the other door.*

Nos: Well, I know one question I can scratch from my list. . . "What does it feel like to be a woman?"
XMG: <<Feels the same as being a man, only you cant drive, are offended by everything, and cry while watching TV. Oh, and then theres these...>>
*XMG feels his rack. Thats right XMG is here.*

XMG: Funny, that ride seemed a lot longer than all of the other ones Ive taken.
Amaya: Maybe its because you pulled over and had a 20 minute rant about how much of a bitch Sabre is.
XMG: Well shes a big one.
Rigley: (annoyed) Yeah we know!
XMG: Sorry, issues.
Amaya and Rigley: We know!

Kulu: "does it bother ANYONE ELSE that sabre put the skinny guy in charge, whom i can probably take out by pushing him with my little finger? anyone? damn, she might as well put the clown in charge at that rate..."
Herry: I'm guessing she didn't make you leader because Liqwid is the only guy around who's a bigger dweeb than you are.
Liqwid: Yeah, dumbass...wait.

Liqwid: All the people around here can't stop talking about my dick and ass....maybe I accidentally joined the gay Resistance...
Pinsky: Wait...so this ISNT the gay resistance?

Liqwid: If we're lucky, he fell in and died. That guy's creepy.
Pyro: Who?
Herry: Yeah, you'll have to be more specific. There's a lot of creepy guys around here.
:: Stone falls through the weak floorboards. Meanwhile, Beast walks down the stairs.::
Beast: Hello everybody. How're things?
Herry: See? There's another one.

Liqwid: Oh, who cares about Tokay? Let 'im go off and do what he wants...he can't hurt anybody.
Pinsky: Yeah screw him, lets find out who blew up that building. Im itching for some action and Suck Trek VI: The Search For Tokay aint gonna cut it.
Liqwid: So, it's settled. Good. Let's go find the guy who blew the place up, and kick him in the nuts!!

Man, I just need to get Jaik and get out of here. This place is messing with my murder, I mean murdering my brain, I mean massacring the innocent....oh man, this is getting bad.
---XMG

Jaik: XMG can we have a moment?
XMG: You can have 6 for all I care. Im gonna go live out the american dream and beat the crap out of a bunch of French People.

I need to stop thinking things are as bad as they can get. Reality seems determined to prove me wrong.
---NotWedge

*Robert buzzes in*
Robert: Good morning all how is your day today me mine has been great i just had some delicioous frozen yogurt would you like some frozen yogurt because frozen yogurt cures all ails one time this lady was dyin and i said why dont you have some frozen yogurt and she had some frozen yogurt and she stopped dyin then we all went out for some frozen yogurt and we was dancin and clappin it was a fun time

*Pinsky runs in wearing a "I (heart) The Pope" shirt.*
Pinsky: What!?!? I heard that somebody is beating up The Pope! As a hardcore Pope fanatic, having followed him through 3 world tours and 6 restraing orders I am strictly against this. Lets kick some evil ass!
*Pinsky puts his hand out expecting everybody to put thier hands on top of his to do that "Go Team!" type thing.*
::Sabre looks at Pinsky::
Sabre: Why are you still alive?

why is it always 'the time of chaos' and 'the age of the apocalypse?' why can't it ever be 'the era of rainbows and cute, fluffy bunnies?'
---Kulu

*stoneskin suddenly appears covering Sabre's body*
Sabre: Jesus Christ!
::she starts patting herself down to feel all the stone::
Sabre: What the hell happened?!
Liqro: I dunno, but stone boobs just don't cut it.
Kulu: "for once, i gotta agree with dipsh*t. i mean, i like 'em firm, but that's ridiculous."

*Professional wrestler Jacques "The Mountie" Rougeau approaches them.*
Mountie: Hello! Perhaps I can help you! I am the Mountie!
FZ: Wow! The Mountie! What are you doing here?
Mountie: I have a match against Jake "the Snake" Roberts in the gym of the middle school across the street tonight! I am the Mountie!
::A real Mountie attempts to arrest him for impersonating an officer::
Mountie: I can call myself a mountie here in America if I want to without being arrested by real mounties! I am the Mountie!
Real Mountie: That's no excuse, buddy, we're taking you to Jean Chretien for a personal whipping.
Mountie: He can't whip me! I am the Mountie!
::Jean Chretien walks around the corner, holding a whip in his hand::
JC: 'Ey, 'ow are you? I am Jean Chretien and I going to whip you, right!
Mountie: You don't know about my secret weapon! I am the Mountie!
*The Mountie pulls aut an electric cattle prod.*
::JC suddenly takes a kung fu stand, and leaps at the Mountie, kicking and screaming martial arts cries::
JC: Take dat, eh!!
*and so the eternal struggle between prime ministers and washed up pro wrestlers continues. In the end, both die and there is much rejoicing.*
People: Hooray!
*and yet, no bodies are found. Can they still be alive? No one gives a flying monkey's behind.*
FZ: Well, that sure didn't help.
*Jake The Snake is asleep on a park bench at the zoo, passed out from the previous night's binge. All the noise woke him up. He sees the mountie and figures he should get an early start on tonight's match. He takes out a bottle of JD and flings his sack over his shoulder.*
Jake: Ey Mmmmountie! Im gonna get you juss like im gonna get you tonight at the high scoo! Cuzz im the Snake...and you dont KNOW when Im gonna strike! Now!
*He drunkingly assualts The Mountie*
::The real Mounties explode::
*the Mountie struggles to get out of the overcoat he was wearing while trying to sneak away.*
Mountie: Drat! He found me in my clever disguise! I am the Mountie!
*Jake gives the mountie a DDT, then vomits on the pavement.*
Jake: Uuuuh man Im so hungover i dont even know where im gonna puke next. I strike like a snake!
Mountie: I am the mouni...o f*uck does my head ever hurt.
Small child nearby: Mommy, that man said a bad word!
Mother: How dare you, sir!!
::she hits the Mountie with her purse::
*Jake DDTs the woman and the child, cause hes drunk. He so drunk man!*
Mother: Aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeee!
::she dies, and the crowd looks angry::
Kid: Mommy!
*Jake laughs, he doesnt realise shes dead.*
Jake: Better get out tha snakey!
*He pulls his snake out of the sack and puts it on the ladies dead body.*
Jake: I am the snake! Jake the Snake!
*He points at the Mountie*
Jake: And I will snake all ova you!
Man in crowd: My god, man, what kind of monster are you?!?
Kid: You killed my mommy!
Crowd: Kill Jake! Kill his snake!
::the crowd advances on him::
Jake: Aww man I dont even know whats goin on, man.
*Jake grabs his snake, puts it in the sack and runs.*
Jake: Ill get you later, Mountie!
::The crowd shakes their fists angrily at him as he leaves::
Mountie: Hey! I'm supposed to be the bad guy because for some unfathomable reason, Canadians are always portrayed as being evil in wrestling! I am the Mountie!
Man in crowd: But Canada is a force of good!
Mountie: Not according to wrestling writers. I am the Mountie!
::The man weeps. His mother was Canadian::
Mountie: I am the Mountie!
Man: You fraud!
::he runs away crying::
FZ: This place just keeps getting weirder.

Sabre: Save it for the congregation. If there ever was a god, he's dead.
Liqro: Amen.
Sabre: Shut up.

*Pinsky walks up behind Spiderman and hits him with a rolled up newspaper in the back of the head, really hard.*
Pinsky: I think I got em...I @#%$ hate spiders, man.

Thats a great idea Sabre, Ill subdue the giant insane lizard with gentleness. Then we'll go visit Mr. Rogers and talk about our feelings.
---XMG

Stupid Spiffy with his stupid conspiracy theories. Everyone knows there's no such thing as spying, or else members of the Dark Hand would be able to simply make a click of the mouse and read our conversations. And we all know that's impossible...
---CAC

*If only there was a doctor around, Skeeter might still live. But CAC has left to the battlegrounds, and his communications device is turned off. The others may have been smart enough to turn theirs on, but not CAC....*

Sabre: What's wrong with being old? It's called 'distinguished'.
Kulu: i'm sorry, sabre, what was that? i was too busy staring at the fine lines and wrinkles on your face.
*kulu grins.*

CAC: "Fine."
::CAC takes Kulu's sword and marches up to the trampoline. It leaps at him, but right before it can eat him, CAC turns intangible, except for his hands, so he could still hold the sword.::
CAC: "Bounce on this, fucker!"
::CAC senses the weaknesses of the trampoline at the cross-stiches of the net, and quickly slices through several of them.::
Possessed trampoline: "I'm melting.......I'm melting......"
CAC: "Woo hoo! We won!"
PT: "Just kidding."
::The evil trampoline had only been playing opossum. It now renews its effort to eat CAC. He's still intangible, but the trampoline manages to bite off his hands, which had stayed at normal density.::
CAC: "HOLY SHIT! HE BIT OFF MY FUCKING HANDS!"
::Nothing happens.::
CAC: "Now would be the time to help people..."
::Kulu then throws his dagger at the trampoline. Spiffy uses all of his limited powers to try to hurt it. The new guy does...whatever it is that the new guy does. The rest of the Resistance then seems to notice the fight for the first time. They join in as well. Sabre slices and dices. Tokay does...whatever it is that Tokay does. Liqwid is still unconscious. Perpetua and Slaine stay in the corner, cause they don't really give a damn. Dante takes advantage of the confusion to drink more Schnapps, since he was already addicted. Eventually, the possessed trampoline was defeated.::
CAC: "Someone get a doctor...That damn trampoline ate my hands."
::kulu runs about frantically.::
Kulu: "is my sword okay? is my sword ok?
Kulu: "by the way, CAC, YOU are the doctor."

Something's always wrong around here, Perpetua, that's just the way things are.
---Sabre

*Robert buzzes in*
Robert: Hiya folks want some frozen yogurt? I dont know you, but I bet you like frozen yogurt because everybody likes frozen yogurt, one time I met somebody who didnt like frozen yogurt and they said, "ey man I dont like frozen yogurt", so I says "Try somma this" and they tried some and then they said "ey man I like frozen yogurt" then we saw a movie, it was auffully good, i dont remember what it was but there was a frozen yogurt shop by the theATEer.

Jaik: Beast this is robert a 1 foot tall robot who serves frozen yogurt XMGs robot Devo created him...he had 4 brothers but we wont talk about them
Robert: They was bad, always killin and fussin and feudin and never havin no frozen yogurt, one time i says to them "hey yall want some frozen yopgurt?", they says "naw"

*Bea Arthur runs in the door and points a gun at XMG*
Bea Arthur: Time to die, XMG!
*NW jumps in through a window.*
NW: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
*NW tacckles Bea Arthur to the ground and takes the gun away. Bea Arthur runs out the door but yells as she leaves.*
Bea Arthur: You win this round, but I'll be back!
NW: So, how's everyone doing?

Youve never heard of frozen yogurt? Well I say your in for a treat because frozen yogurt is the best creation on gods green earth it brings peace to the people cause this one time i went up to these fightin folks and says why dont ya just have some frozen yogurt? and they says ok so we all went out for frozen yogurt and we was laughin and carryin on you should try some frozen yogurt, you should pick some off the ground right there and put it in your mouth it will be like jesus himself just jumped in your mouth and
said isnt this some good frozen yogurt?
---Robert

Aw shucks thats too bad jaiks a nice fellar he likes frozen yogurt i know this cause one time i gave him some frozen yogurt and he says i like you robert i think he said that cause of the frozen yogurt frozen yogurt brings friends together always has always will
---Robert

kulu: how do we stop someone with that kind of power? i mean, not even Em could contend with him...
twitch: maybe we should dress one of us up as jaik and convince them he's back...
kulu: you just want an excuse to wear a funny hat.
twitch: guilty.

kulu: where the HELL are we gonna find liqwid?
twitch: simple, my friend--where would BOTH liqwid AND pyro agree on going?
kulu: (thinks) the bathroom?
twitch: little broader, sicko.
kulu: i'm clueless.
twitch: porn shop. or nudy bar. one of the two. either way, it's gonna be a FUN night, gawain...good thing you turned 21 in february...
kulu: (with a groan) great...
*the two hasten off.*

Kulu((having heard herry and sabre mention phouka)): DAMMIT!!! AGAIN with the phouka reference! does "self-delusion" mean NOTHING to you people?

kulu: why am i a member of this group again?
twitch: the powerpuff girls were full.

*this whole time, kulu and twitch have been standing aside, silently, arms crossed, scowls on their faces, not wanting to get in the way. finally, twitch speaks.*
Twitch: "did sabre just call us scum?"
K: "dude, we are."
T: "true."

*Mohammed and Neo stand side by side, not looking amused.*
Mohammed: That woman has no shame. Doesnt she know thats not how its done?
*kulu looks back at mohammed.* "dude, when was the last time YOU got some? the cretaceous period?"
Mohammed: The last time I 'got some'? Well that event happens to coincide with the last time your mother was in my chambers.

Batman: "what are you doing in a dark alley?"
"who, me?" *kulu asks.* "i was looking for a friend of mine, but i'm about ready to give up. i've got other friends who'll be waiting for me. and what are you doing in a dark alley, dressed like a cheap count dracula rip-off?"
Batman: *thats the problem he cant remember*
Batman: "very funny, i dont know"
"not being very helpful, there, blah." *kulu responds, accenting the last word in the same style as a goofy vampire flick.* "but, um, yeah, i think my friend and i will be going now, blah. we have other matters to attend to, blah." *he starts to move away.*

There may be times when it may be in the team's best interest for someone else to take the reigns. I personally hope that we're never in a situation when I'd be the best choice, because then we're pretty much screwed.
---NotWedge

*Devo turns to XMG*
Devo: What the hell is this?
XMG: Its a girlbot...for you
Devo: I am not controlled by sex organs like you humans!
XMG: Yeah thats probably because you have no sex organs.
Devo: THATS BESIDES THE POINT!!!

Kama Tut Nur: Why are there so many mimes in DC?
Alex: It's the government, sir. They hire them.
KTN: Well theres a new government in town see, and ill be damned if were gonna hire any god forsaken mimes...maybe a couple of insane clowns, yeah thatd be tight...wait no it wouldnt. That would suck! Alex take a note of this, If you ever see the insane clown posse in DC i want them swiftly executed.
::Alex writes "Kill the Insane Clown Posse!!!!!!" and underlines it several times::
Alex: Yes sir! They're so dead!
Teatime: Done and done. And I mean done.

*After everybody leaves and Kama Tut Nur shuts the door, he turns around and faces the ones still remaining.*
KTN: Helllllo Team Tut! Thats your names from now on, youre my team, team Tut, lead by me. Its gonna be tight. Youll all have coushy jobs WITH retirement benefits AND a dental plan. I dont really have any way of paying any of you so you can have whatever the hell you want in the city! If you see something, just fucking take it! Itll be dope, trust me. Now for your uh, positsons.
*He walks down the line, putting his hand on the hot girl's shoulder.*
KTN: Yours will be doggie
Girl: *giggling* Oh you hee hee hee hee hee
KTN: Naw! Im just kidding, *wispers to her* But seriously see me after the meeting is done. YOU WILL BE, my secretary of action. Itll be your job to round up all the hottest chicks in the DC area and bring them here for me to have my way with. This is an important job, dont mess it up as women often do...you Alex, you will be my personal assisstant/secretary, I have a lot to teach you kid, so keep your eyes and ears open, oh and take lots of notes...Teatime, I like the jacket on you by the way it makes you look like an escaped mental patient who killed somebody in a 7/11 restroom, good look for you. YOU will be my secretary of justice. You will lead our police force and will be in charge of hunting down and punishing offenders. This is a job that I KNOW youll shine in....George DUBYA Bush...
*he kicks him in the nuts*
KTN: Thats for the "tax cuts"
*punches him in the face*
KTN: and thats for all those stupid speeches
*Hits him again*
KTN: and theres one to grow on....anyway dubya, and thats your name now by the way, you will be my Secretary of uuuuuh entertainment, yeah thats it. With your connections if I or my citizens want anything, anything at all, youll be able to get it for me. And you WILL get it for me or else....something...bad...will happen....to you... Im funny....now you Powell, you will be my secretary of...
Powell: War sir?
KTN: Naw dude. Your my Secretary of keepin it real.
Powell: Excuse me?
KTN: Come on Colin, you know what im talking about. I see you on TV man and your all stuck up and proper and shit. Is your name Colin Powell or Uncle Tom, MAAAAAN? I want you to go to the baddest fuckin area in DC and come back GHETTO FABOLOUS. After that we'll smoke hella blunts and shit, itll be tight.
Powell: That doesnt seem like a secretary positsion at all.
KTN: Shut up and go be black, fool.
Powell: Yes, sir!
*He runs off to become a gangsta.*
KTN: That was tight.

*The troll leads XMG to a cabin in the middle of desert in the middle of nowhere. XMG expects it to be a dingy nasty shack when the troll opens the door, but is presently surprised to find that the cabin is clean and well furnished.*
Troll: Im sorry if this destroys any stereotypes you may have against my kind. I'm a sort of a neat freak.
XMG: Its OK. I hate watermelon.
*The troll gasps*

soem people erect a memorial...others have an anniversary mass...the irish get blind stinkin drunk....you convince my evil duplicate hes me and shag him...what a way to honour a memory.
---Jaik

Kama Tut Nur: DUBYA!
*Dubya looks up.*
Dubya: Y-yes, sir?
KTN: Id like to address my public, do you think you could set that up?
Dubya: Uuuuuuh....do you want me to 'liberate' them?
KTN: NO! I want you to get me a television monitor!
Dubya: Uhhhh...OK....what do you need monitoring again? Because under the patriot act I could monitor anything you want as long as I say its for national secrecy.
KTN: *sighs* No you moron. I want a T-V and a Cam-er-a...and its national security!
Dubya: Uuuuuh...maybe I should write this down. *picks up a pad and a pencil* OK you say you want a TV? Uuuuuh...how do you spell that? *KTN looks impatient. Dubya starts sweating profusely* uuuuh...oh boy I need some coke.
KTN: T-V! YOU MORON!
Dubya: OH! well why didnt you say so, my excellence? So you say you want a TV and a camera? I-I can do that.
KTN: Good. Also, id like for you to make some sort of announcement....maybe get a cool van with a bullhorn or some shit on it to tell everybody to turn on their TVs or some crap.
Dubya: Van....with bulls....check.
KTN: BullHORN, check.
Dubya: Hey now...whatd you call me? Because in Texas we dont stand for that type of---
KTN: A BULLHORN! Those loud things that the cops talk into!
Dubya: Oooooh, a talky loudy phone! Why didnt you say so? Yeah. I can get all of this, because....Im the president Aw man thats so cool. I can get you all of this sir faster than you can say "incompetent" woah, big word.
*He runs off to get the stuff. KTN rubs his temples.*


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