Clean Laffs. . . 
*** 
A man passed out in a dead faint as he came out of his front 
door onto the porch. Someone called 911 and when the paramedics 
arrived, they asked him if he knew what caused him to faint. 
"It was enough to make anybody faint," he said. "My son asked 
me for the keys to the garage, and instead of driving the car 
out, he came out with the lawn mower." 
*** 
A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence. he's 
allowed to say two words every 7 years. After the first 7 
years, the elders bring him in and ask him for his 2 words. 
"cold floors," he says. They nod and send him away. 7 more 
years pass and they bring him in for his 2 words. 
He clears his throat and say, "Bad food." they nod and send 
him away. 7 more years pass and they bring him in for his 2 
words. "I quit," he says. 
"That's not surprising," the elders say. "you've done nothing 
but complain since you got here." 
*** 
An enemy decoy, built in occupied Holland during World War II, 
led to a tale that has been told and retold ever since by 
veteran allied pilots. 
The German decoy "airfield," constructed with meticulous care, 
was made almost entirely of wood. There were wooden hangars, 
oil tanks, gun emplacements, trucks, and aircraft. The Germans 
took so long in building their wooden decoy that allied photo 
experts had more than enough time to observe and report it. 
The day finally came when the decoy was finished, down to the 
last wooden plank. And early the following morning, a lone RAF 
plane crossed the Channel, came in low, circled the field once, 
and dropped a large wooden bomb.