Quotes that make you feel smart

These will make you feel smarter... 

Question: If you could live forever, 
would you and why? 
Answer: "I would not live forever, 
because we should not live forever, because if 
we were supposed to live forever, then we would 
live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why 
I would not live forever." 
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest. 
 
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor 
starving kids all over the world, I can't help 
but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not 
with all those flies and death and stuff,"-Mariah Carey 
 
"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to 
comply with the law."-- David Dinkins, New York City 
Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes. 
 
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very 
important part of your life."-Brooke Shields, 
during an interview to become spokesperson for a 
federal antismoking campaign. 
 
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part 
of my body." --Winston Bennett, University of 
Kentucky basketball forward. 
 
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the 
lowest crime rates in the country."-Mayor Marion Barry, 
Washington,DC. 
 
"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees."- 
Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks. 
 
"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through 
our papers. We are the president."-Hillary Clinton, 
commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents. 
 
"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to 
death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it." 
-- A congressional candidate in Texas. 
 
"I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great 
country away from them. There were great numbers of 
people who needed new land, and the Indians were 
selfishly trying to keep it for themselves."-John Wayne 
 
"Half this game is ninety percent mental." 
--Philadelphia Phillies manager Danny Ozark 
 
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. 
It's the impurities in our air and water that are 
doing it." -- Al Gore, Vice President 
 
"If you let that sort of thing go on, your bread and 
butter will be cut right out from under your feet." 
-- Former British foreign minister,Ernest Bevin. 
 
"I love California. I practically grew up in 
Phoenix."-- Dan Quayle 
 
"It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds 
could go one way or another" --George Bush, US President 
 
"I have opinions of my own -strong opinions - but I 
don't always agree with them."-George Bush, US President 
 
"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much 
clean air do we need?"-Lee Iacocca 
 
"I was provided with additional input that was 
radically different from the truth. I assisted in 
furthering that version."-Colonel Oliver North, 
from his Iran-Contra testimony. 
 
"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A 
genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."-Joe Theisman, NFL football 
quarterback & sports analyst. 
 
"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of 
people."-Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor. 
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." 
--Bill Clinton, President 
 
"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or 
may not occur."-Al Gore, VP 
 
"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come 
from overseas."-Keppel Enderbery 
 
"The loss of life will be irreplaceable."-Dan Quayle 
 
"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the 
only regret I have is that I didn't study my Latin 
harder in school so I could converse with those 
people."-Dan Quayle VP 
 
"It is wonderful to be here in the great state of 
Chicago.-Dan Quayle, VP 
 
"Hawaii is a unique state. It is a small state. It is 
a state that is by itself. It is different from the 
other 49 states. Well, all states are different, but 
it's got a particularly unique situation."-Dan Quayle, VP 
 
"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 
because we received notice that you passed away. May 
God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change 
in your circumstances."-Department of Social Services, 
Greenville, South Carolina 
 
"We apologize for the error in last week's paper in 
which we stated that Mr. Arnold Dogbody was a 
defective in the police force. We meant, of course, 
that Mr. Dogbody is a detective in the police farce." 
--Correction Notice in the Ely Standard, a British newspaper 
 
"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this 
jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor 
their heart throughout the night. And the next 
morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a 
record."-Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman