Who went to see the movie "Practical Magic"...

Who went to see the movie "Practical Magic"...

THE KITCHEN WITCH: Went to see it for the name. Was
jealous... why can't *I* have a greenhouse for my
herbs?

THE DIANIC: Shouted things like "You go, sisters!"
through the entire movie. Was offended that the
sheriff was a male. Grudingly conceded it was
necessary for plot development.

THE GARDNERIAN: No athames? No robes? Reading the
spell straight out of the BOS? Obvious dabblers...

THE DRUID: Cried when the rose bush was cut down.

THE FAERIE SHAMAN: Words? What's up with that? Spent
first half of movie looking for little people, found
only children.

THE ANGST-TEEN: Was upset. Damned movie wasn't a thing
like "The Craft". Went home and tried to levitate a friend.

THE HALLOWEEN MODERNIST: What's up with those pointed
black hats and polyester outfits at the end?

THE PAGAN TRADITIONALIST: What's up with the spelling
of the title. It should have been "Pracktical Magick"
and not "Practical Magic.".

WICCAN COUCH POTATO: Still trying to figure out if
"Charmed" spun off from "Practical Magic" or "The
Craft". They are still pondering how the talking
black cat from Disney's "Hocus Pocus" ended up on
"Sabrina the Teenage Witch".