Signs For The Stupid

Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, 
"I'm Stupid". That way you wouldn't rely on them, would 
you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, 
"Excuse me...oops, never mind. I didn't see your sign." 

 
It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full 
of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. 
My friend comes over and says "Hey, you >moving?" "Nope. 
We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how 
many boxes it takes. Here's your sign." 
 
A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of 
mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this 
big 'ol stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, 
"Hey, y'all catch all them fish?" 

"Nope, Talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign." 

I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery 
Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And 
there's only one way to test it. "Alright Jimmy, you got 
that shark suit on, it looks good... They want you to jump 
into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when 
they bite you. "Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't 
wanna lose it." 

Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one 
of those side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant 
walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR 
he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist. said, "Nope. 
I was driving around and those other three just swelled 
right up on me. Here's your sign." 
 
We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy 
came over to the house and drove the car around for about 
45 minutes. We get back to the house, he gets out of the 
car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then says, 
"Darn that's hot!" See? If he'd been wearing his sign, I 
could have stopped him. 
 
I learned to drive an 18 wheeler in my days of adventure. 
Wouldn't ya know I misjudged the height of a bridge. The 
truck got stuck and I couldn't get it out no matter how 
I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a local cop 
shows up to take the report. He went through his basic 
questioning..ok..no problem. I thought sure he was clear 
of needing a sign...until he asked "So..is your truck 
stuck?" I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked 
back at the rig and then back to him and said "no I'm 
delivering' a bridge...here's your sign."