WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER

        
WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (The actual AP headline)
Linda Burnett, 23, was visiting her inlaws, and while there went
to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries.  Several people 
noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with 
her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head.

One customer who had been at the store for a while became 
concerned and walked over to the car.  He noticed that Linda's 
eyes were now open, and she looked very strange.  He asked her 
if she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot in the 
back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an 
hour.

The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because 
the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from 
her head.  When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a 
wad of bread dough on the back of her head.

A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, 
making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of 
dough hit her in the back of her head.  When she reached back 
to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was 
her brains.  She initially passed out, but quickly recovered
and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone 
noticed and came to her aid.

And, yes, Linda is a blonde.