The
life blood of art.......
Came
Home and All was Silent
To
my father, Jeffery H. Lanier on Oct. 27th, 1998
Timing
each raspy, coarse, gasping breath.
Pumping
morphine into dehydrated veins.
The
painful, pitiful sounds that escape from
His
bodied entrapment of stored fat
Are
just sounds of exhaustion from trying to mouth them.
Treading
one foot into water
One
planted on dry land
Preparing
for the conversion of energy.
What
does one think at that moment?
What
goes through one’s head?
As
they dip their toe into the ice cold water
And
continue to submerge their foot on in.
The
cold numbed me as I plunged in after
And
salt stung my eyes,
While
the dark chills deafened me.
Swam
a mile to find nothing
And
emerged to find it raining.
Came
home and all was silent,
Like
leaves gliding on a river.
Came
home and all was silent,
The
phantom caste away in the tide.
The
days passed slow and dark,
Mumbled
thoughts from sealed lips passed,
Through
the still air, rippling the crest of a wave.
Saw
him laid out, draped in flowers.
Sitting,
waiting, for the time to go slowly fleeting.
Holding
the hot soggy, salty tissue in my clenched fist
I
sang out to him
Gave
him a push to swim that ocean,
Sat
back down and held in the hurricane
Which
furiously brewed inside of me.
Taped
on a smile, and sat there, numb, fragile.
Everyone
walked by like shadows
Slow
moving rhythmic shadows swimming on the walls
Dripping
onto the floor, flowing underneath my feet.
Dark
bleak shadows calling out my name,
Reaching
out for my hand.
I
pulled back and ran out into the light,
Ran
and ran till it cloaked me with it’s radiance
Till
I was dry again, collapsed into a tight heaving ball.
Came
home and all was silent,
Like
leaves gliding on a river.
Came
home and all was silent,
The
phantom caste away in the tide.
-Katie
Lanier
