so I keep telling myself that
my father died today
preparing myself for the day
for that moment
my sister died 18 months ago
I found out about it two weeks later
no one thought to tell me
and I didn’t get to say goodbye
my mother died 8 years ago
I was by her side
we all were
when she took her last breath
it created a rift between us
that only began to take form some time later
or rather she was the glue
that held us together
my father was told he had
six months to live
that was more than a year ago
and he still doesn’t want to see me
I’m going to die some day
I’m going to take my last breath
and drink my last thought
and see my last vision
some days I wish it were today