Stupid peope can have their own web sites. Look at me. And then there's this web site from someone who must by about ten years old. Here's an excerpt:
Look And Feel Ten or Twenty Years Younger
by Joseph C. Hinson
Sunday July 8, 2001
It finally danwed on me just moments ago what the internet really means. It means now that stupid and insipid advertising agents can send unsolicited shit mail to your computer. You'll throw it away if it comes snail mail. You can weed out mouth breathing telemarketers with Caller ID. But if they send it straight to your e-mail, chances are you'll at least scan over it before hitting delete. It's their best way in.
Hey, asshole, at least know who you're sending this crap to! If I looked and felt twenty years younger, I'd be 11 fucking years old!
Al Gore probably never thought of this when he created the internet!
Stupid peope can have their own web sites. Look at me. And then
there's this web site from someone who must by about ten years old. Here's
an excerpt:
"Ohmigod, on Monday BSB is on the Rosie O'Donelle
Show, and I won't get to see
it. I really, really, really, really, really,
really, really want to see this. :( I can't stay home either. Hopefully
they show it again, or something. I will feel left out."
And then she has this, like, really, really, really, really, really, really, really "cool" .gif file.
Other stupid stuff. How is it that no fast food places have small drinks and fries anymore? They have medium, large and fucking huge as hell. And we wonder why the world is getting fatter? Look not at what we eat, but how much we eat of it. Go to the local McDonalds and you can Super Dooper Quadruple Size your combo meal.
I can feel the blood in my artieries thicken just thinking about it.
A lot of stupid people work at these fast food places. Which makes sense. If they were smarter, they'd get a better fucking job. I've cut out most fast food, but I still go to Subway. They never put enough mayo on my six inch turkey sandwich. But if I ask them to put a little extra mayo on -- using those exact words: "a little extra mayo" -- all of a sudden, they whip out the U.S. Army mega-size Dukes Mayo jar and dip the sandwich in.
Tech Support: "What does the screen say now.''
Person: "It says, `Hit ENTER when ready'.''
Tech Support: "Well?''
Person: "How do I know when it's ready?''
"Now moving on to a sad thing ... you all know Kid Rock right? Well he had that guy named Joe C. who was a midget with him all the time, right? Joe C. died on Friday morning. I am kinda sad. On TRL Carson looked like he was gonna cry. It's a really sad thing because they were saying how he always made people smile, and it's true. I always had a good laugh and a smile when I saw him on TV with Bob (lol, kid rock)."
I think anytime you get your daily dose of drama from MTV, you have a serious problem that nothing short of a BRAIN could alleviate.
My wife and I call stupid people SP for short. Sometimes we call them CP. CP? That's short for Chester people. I live in Chester, South Carolina and I have to tell you, we've got the market cornered on stupid people. I'm talking about absolute fucking morons. These are people who will drive around at 8:55 p.m. with no lights on. And then you flash your lights at them and they slow down thinking you're warning them that a cop is nearby.
Here is an actual conversation I had with a manager at the local Bi-Lo. I pulled up into the parking lot at 10:47 one night to find they had closed. The manager was standing outside near the front doors smoking a cigarette. (Anyone who smokes is stupid.)
SP: "I'm sorry. We're closed."
Me: "I thought you closed at 11. What
time is it?"
SP: "About ten til."
Me: "And you're closed?"
SP: "Yep."
See. In Chester, SC, everything that doesn't close at 11 p.m. has already closed at 10 p.m. Wal Mart closes at 10. Food Lion closes at 10. Winn Dixie closes at 11. Bi-Lo closes at..... 10:47.
The thing that proved that Chester is full of fat morons with shit for brains is how they park in the fire lane. Winn Dixie is actually the worst place of all. I've been there at around ten at night and there'll be more cars parked in the fire lane than in the parking lot. And, yes, it is clearly marked.
What's worse is that no one does a damn thing about it. The store workers don't want to cause a scene. Their managers, who should know better, don't say anything either. I guess they're afraid of losing that all-important customer.
The police don't do anything. The cops in Chester are the dumbest of the dumb. They just park their cars on the roads in and out of Chester and stop people for speeding. It's easy to do this because they put the speed limit lower than it should be. So when people do what they think is the natural limit, they get pulled.
I live around brain dead zombies. These people will park in the main road of our apartment complex talking to someone. Meanwhile, traffic -- me!!! -- will have to squezze around their cars or go the long way. But there'll be five or six empty parking spaces that they could have fit into!
These are the same people that will stop to talk to someone going the opposite direction and hold up traffic on main roads throughout Chester. Then both cars will pull off slowly and the jams will start thumping again. Now I like music. My tastes runs from rap to rock to 80s retro. But this doesn't mean that I want to hear the crap that is pouring out of every other car on the road! I'm fine picking out what I want to listen to myself, thank you very much!
We won't even mention that the cars they're driving will be painted neon green or orange and will be a full inch off the ground.
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