Things I Am Thankful For
by Joseph C. Hinson
November 19, 2001

When I started this web page and these rants back in 1957, some of you may recall that I called this section my "Rantz and Raves" page, complete with the obnoxious "z" on the end of rants. I mean, rantz. Since then, I have pretty much stayed on a straight rants course. But that was then. A kinder, gentler Flood has emerged. And just in time for Thanksgiving! This kinder, gentler Flood also promises not to use some much foul language, dammit, especially for the two or three people that may find this site once the Herald runs their story on me and I become famous.

And so I give you "Things I Am Thankful For."

I am thankful for my wonderful family -- a beautiful wife, Sherry, who makes my lunch and sends me off to school, and two wonderful children, Michael and Jenna, even when they are bad and won't let me take a nap on days I need to.

I am thankful for the men and women who have fought for and died for this country in service. And who are doing so as I write this.

I am thankful for the unyielding patriotism this country has shown since 9/11, even if that meant Gary Cherone, former lead singer for Extreme and, for about five minutes, Van Halen, got to sing "The Star Spangled Banner" on live TV at the Boston Celtics home game with the Washington Wizards.

I am thankful that Fortune City gives me 100 MB of free space. I am not, however, thankful for all of the pop-ups they then trash the site with or how many web surfers it runs off of my site.

I am thankful for Diet Coke. Diet Coke, the soft drink of diabetics.

I am thankful for blue skies with white clouds strewn across them. I am also thankful when those skies turn threatening and we get the rain we need. We need more rain right now.

I am thankful for the Colorado Rockies -- the actual mountains, that is, not the baseball team -- and that I was able to see them for two weeks in 1999. Everyone should see Colorado at least once in their life.

I am thankful for pizza. Pizza is good. Pizza is our friend. I am also thankful for Pepcid, which I need a lot of after I eat pizza.

I am thankful for 24 hour cable news, so we can get all of the news any of the time and any of the news all of the time. At least, I think I'm thankful for this. I'm not sure. In the news recently is the latest recount of the Florida presidential election from ONE YEAR AGO. I am thankful that most people outside of the media has let that go.

I am thankful for Mr. Pell, who has granted my wish that I may one day back to school.

I have to say something that I want to say, something that I think needs to be said: Everybody does NOT love Raymond. Some of us don't even know him that well. But from what I have seen, I wouldn't even like the guy, much less love him. He whines too much.

I am thankful we live in a country where it is all right if we disagree with each other, where it is almost expected that we do disagree.

I am thankful I do not live in a society where women have to cover their entire bodies up and that men do not have to grow their beards long. Although if the latter was true, my wife might lay off on me for not shaving two times a day. I am not thankful, however, that we live in a society where it is deemed unacceptable in most work places for men to have hair over their collar.

I am thankful for boxer briefs. They're not briefs, they're not boxers, they're boxer briefs! Great for us computer nerds who don't want to waste time with underwear that can be just plain painful at times.

I also am thankful for speel checkers, which I obviously do not put to good use.

Man, that wasn't so hard. I wrote and for the most part, I was positive. I didn't use an offensive word. Not that I can recall anyway. This might be a new day for me, dammit!

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