Silent Night, Creepy, Sacrilegious Night
by Joseph C. Hinson
December 22, 2001

One of the good things, maybe the only good thing, about having a car with a radio that won't play the FM side is that it was just a few days ago that I heard the "special" 9/11 version of "Silent Night." Perhaps a bad thing about it is that I know nothing about this... song, if you will, other than what I heard on WBT's Spiers and Krantz talk show on WBT out of Charlotte, NC.

A search on Google has turned up little other than radio station web sites offering free mp3s of the song. Thanks, but no thanks. So I write this knowing nothing of who created this master piece.

Other than the guy who recites it sounds a lot like William Shatner.

Silent Night

You say you will never forget where you were when you heard the news on September 11, 2001.

Neither will I.

I was on the 110th floor in a smoke filled room with a man who called his wife to say, "Good-bye."

I held his fingers steady as he dialed

I gave him the peace to say, "Honey, I am not going to make it, but it is OK...I am ready to go."

I was with his wife when he called as she fed breakfast to their children.

I held her up as she tried to understand his words and as she realized he wasn't coming home that night.

I was in the stairwell of the 23rd floor when a woman cried out for Me for help. "I have been knocking on the door of your heart for 50 years!" I said, "Of course I will show you the way home - only believe in Me now."

I was at the base of the building with the Priest ministering to the injured and devastated souls. I took him home to tend to his Flock in Heaven. He heard my voice and answered.

I was on four of those planes, in every seat, with every prayer. I was with the crew as they were overtaken. I was in the very hearts of the believers there, comforting and assuring them that their faith has saved them.

I was in Texas, Kansas, London. I was standing next to you when you heard the terrible news. Did you sense Me?

I want you to know that I saw every face. I knew every name - though not all know Me. Some met me for the first time on the 86th floor.

Some sought Me with their last breath.

Some couldn't hear Me calling to them through the smoke and flames; "Come to Me...this way...take My hand." Some chose, for the final time, to ignore Me.

But, I was there.

I did not place you in the tower that day. You may not know why, but I do. However, if you were there in that explosive moment in time, would you have reached for Me?

September 11, 2001 was not the end of the journey for you. But someday your journey will end. And I will be there for you as well. Seek Me now while I may be found. Then, at any moment, you know you are "ready to go."

I will be in the stairwell of your final moments.

Remember... I love you.

You know, reading the words is different than hearing the song. It's like those god-awful billboards that are all over the world now. I know it's blasphemy, but it's hard to argue with the alleged intentions of the piece, to turn people onto to the Word of God. But when I hear the song, once I got past the thought that it sounds like William Shatner, it gets just plain creepy. I'm sorry, but that's the best way I can think to describe it right now -- creepy.

"I was on the 110th floor in a smoke filled room with a man who called his wife to say, 'Good-bye.'"

Excuse me? Who was on the 110th floor? Because it sounds like the person reciting this purports to speak for God. But how can that be? How can anyone speak for God? Or is it possible that the voice of the song is God? How could someone hold themselves in such high esteem? I thought that was blasphemy. I thought that was considered taking God's name in vain. It's no different than those damn billboards all across America.

That "love thy neighbor" thing? I meant it.

Will the road you're on get you to my place?

My way is the highway.

Keep using my name in vain, I'll make rush hour longer.

Need I go on? Witty little sayings like that (described on the official web site as "simple, relevant, life-changing") have been popping up on billboards. Each of these witticisms is credited to God. Frankly, I think God can do better than these "Life's Little Instruction Book" feel good and warm all over fuzzy mentality. I mean, come on! The Lord created the world for crying out loud! He practically wrote the Bible. This is a sad misrepresentation of what He can do.

Let's meet at my house Sunday before the game.

Have you read My #1 best-seller? (There will be a test.)

What part of "you shall not" didn't you understand?

Now I've read the Bible. In fact, I used to be the little church-goer, if I do say so myself. And I know that God just does not speak to us mere mortals. Those who believe He does can usually be cured with regular medication. The Bible tells us all we need to know. He doesn't need anyone, however good intentioned they may be, to add to what He has said. And if He did speak to us, He wouldn't sound like a bad Jack Handey impersonator!

"I was on four of those planes, in every seat, with every prayer. I was with the crew as they were overtaken. I was in the very hearts of the believers there, comforting and assuring them that their faith has saved them."

My cynical nature wants to scream out: "Then why in the hell didn't You do something? You practically let those people die!" I mean, if He was really on board each of those planes, then couldn't He have landed them safely? Then I realize that God didn't really speak these words, some guy that sounds like Cpatain Kirk did. But I can see how someone may be turned off by hearing this.

But it gets worse.

"I want you to know that I saw every face. I knew every name - though not all know Me. Some met me for the first time on the 86th floor."

Oh, great. Here it comes.

"Some sought Me with their last breath."

Yep. Here comes the killer line. What we've all been waiting for.

"Some couldn't hear Me calling to them through the smoke and flames; 'Come to Me... this way... take My hand.' Some chose, for the final time, to ignore Me. But, I was there."

The oddest part of the song is right at the end when the voice says, "But trust me on the sunscreen."

Seriously, this song has been hailed as a comfort to those who lost loved ones on that tragic day. But here comes this guy hailing himself as God saying that some of those people who died in the smoke and flames are spending their eternity in Hell! Some fucking comfort that is! And this is supposed to turn people to the Word of God? I say it's turns people away from God! It casts him as an angry teacher's pet taking names on the chalkboard. It paints believers as better than non-believers, as if we should mourn them more than the heathens who died with them on that day.

The only people this song could possibly be reaching, in my opinion, are the mind-numbed robots who walk, talk, breath, eat and sleep converting the evil non-believers to their god ASAP. You know the ones I'm talking about. The ones that want more people to come to church because last homecoming, they had more people than ever at Sunday morning service and this year they want even more! They smile all the time, but when you talk to them, you can tell they're waiting their moment to jump back into the conversation so they can mention "God" as often as possible.

The thing I don't understand is how Christians could accept these two examples of pure and simple blasphemy as easily as they do. I hope it's just that they are not thinking these things through. I say that if they would, they'd see them as I do, though they may not use the f-word. I know most Christians to be good-hearted and intelligent people. Certainly they can not be a party to this foolish pretense. I would love to meet one real life person whose life has been impacted greatly by either this song or those inane billboards. If I was an unbeliever -- hell, maybe I am! -- these examples would make me want to get away from God and anyone related to him.

Why the hell would God care about rush hour anyway? If we don't behave, He's going to make it longer? Jesus H. Christ, give me a break! What's next? The big man going to send us to bed without supper? Is He going to take away our phone privileges for a week? And the one that says simply "I love you, I love you, I love you!" (signed by God, of course) clearly paints the Savior as very needy. It's like a soap opera damsel in distress hugging the shirtless doctor who just saved her dying daughter's life by some medically unsound practice. Actually, it's not like that at all. I just made that up as I went along. Sometimes I'm not hitting on all cylinders.

Of course, that's just my opinion. I could be in the fast lane on the highway to hell!

See Also:
The Disturbing Citizens for the Ten Commandments (01/16/99)

Somewhat Relevant Web Sites:
107.5 The River -- Where I finally found the words to this piece of... whatever.
God Speaks -- That's the name of the official web site of those billboards. Which saus a lot.
Anti-Hero Art: God's Billboards -- A parody of the billboards. My favorite is "I don't love Raymond -- God."
Messages From God -- A great site with their own interpretations of God's billboards. A real riot!
God turns his mind to writing billboards -- A better written rant than this one by Bob Lancaster.
Everybody's Free To Wear Sunscreen -- The lyrics to a much better, less blasphemous Voice Guy song.
Everybody's Free To Wear Sunscreen -- The story behind the song as told by Baz Luhrmann.

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