roadtrip (JCH -- 8/31 -- 10/2/99)
drove the car halfway across the country
looking through my window
it was just like watching tv
one long roll of film on a loop
the land sped by
lives being lived
people loving, laughing and dying
and eating and working
and sleeping
my eyes are black
i'm so tired
i can't sleep
i'm not hungry
but still i eat
where am i going?
& who or what shall i find?
on an antihistamine high
i watch
collecting notes
memories--
reflections of a city
from the interstate
at midnight
and i am
unconnected
emotionless
and there's someone i'm thinking of
1500 miles away
so here i stand with my visions intact
the fire and the flood
and the everlasting hunger
gazing on the city
from an 8th floor window
shadow and light
everything is new again
limitless
fresh
except for me
and what i'm feeling
uncertainty is a loathsome creature
lurking in the crevices of the mind
with it's malicious benefactor
doubt
and their cruel intentions
suffocating the bearer
under the heft of his own
psychic weight
and there's someone i want to be
and there's someone i want to see
1500 miles away