Present and Future
January 1998... New Year/New Life

So here I am now. In the summer of '97, I began taking herbal hormones. While they are a mild form of estrogens, I did encounter some results. When I received the news of finally securing an apartment in SF, the next day I went to Tijuana and began taking Premarin, which is a common prescription formula of female hormones. Since moving up here, I've began going about the traditional means of transitioning into fulltime. I have started to see a therapist, which is part of the mandatory three month requirement before a physician will prescribe any hormonal treatment. Luckily, my supply will last until then. I've began electrolysis and am researching laser treatment for hair removal. I also was fitted and ordered a custom corset; expensive, but necessary for figure shaping. I'm trying to rebuild my wardrobe after suffering a loss from the moving company (this hurt...). I'm currently looking for employment. It's difficult to tell if a company will be recetive to an employee transitioning or not, so I'm being cautious. I'm also planning on going back to school in May for Multimedia design. That also throws a curve into job hunting; real job, or something temporary to get by until then. Eventually, I hope to start my own web design company, which would be ideal for a person such as myself. I can basically work on my own and choose who to interact with. I also would really welcome the independance of working for myself.

As far as the future, it's hard to predict. I'm hoping to eventually be involved in a long term relationship; one built on love, trust, acceptance and support. In this aspect, I'm no different from anyone else. I'd love to come home to a warm and caring partner, live in a beautiful house and drive a nice car. No kids, but a dog might be nice (smile...). I want to shop at Saks and enjoy some of the finer things in life. Who doesn't? In short, I want the same things out of life as any other woman. However, true happiness involves having life's good and bad to share with someone special. The material things are pale in comparison to finding a real love. While patiently awaiting the gradual effects of hormones, I plan on having some cosmetic surgery to enhance what Nature creates. Breast implants, facial enhancements, etc.... I want to be the best that I can, and am open to any means possible. Being accepted as a beautiful, intelligent and sensual woman is my goal. The big question seems to be about Sexual Reassignment Surgery. At this time, I don't plan on having it. Honestly, a few years down the road, I may feel differently. My current thoughts are that I will always be different from a genetic woman. While I will change as many physical aspects as possible, this is the one way in which I would remain truly unique from the rest of the world. It may affect the prospects of my future relationships, but we true transsexuals are like diamonds to some; a stigma to others. To the right person, we are to be treasured.

As a side note, I want to make a comment on femininity. It seems that many of today's women, in trying to be competitive in society, many are not acknowledging or diluting their inherent qualities. As transsexuals, we cherish and revel in these feminine qualities that we for so long were unable to outwardly express. Perhaps that is the attraction to us. Nothing profound, just an observation/personal opinion.

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