Present and Future
January 1998... New Year/New Life
So here I am now. In the summer of '97, I began
taking herbal hormones. While they are a mild form of estrogens, I did encounter
some results. When I received the news of finally securing an apartment
in SF, the next day I went to Tijuana and began taking Premarin, which is
a common prescription formula of female hormones. Since moving up here,
I've began going about the traditional means of transitioning into fulltime.
I have started to see a therapist, which is part of the mandatory three
month requirement before a physician will prescribe any hormonal treatment.
Luckily, my supply will last until then. I've began electrolysis and am
researching laser treatment for hair removal. I also was fitted and ordered
a custom corset; expensive, but necessary for figure shaping. I'm trying
to rebuild my wardrobe after suffering a loss from the moving company (this
hurt...). I'm currently looking for employment. It's difficult to tell if
a company will be recetive to an employee transitioning or not, so I'm being
cautious. I'm also planning on going back to school in May for Multimedia
design. That also throws a curve into job hunting; real job, or something
temporary to get by until then. Eventually, I hope to start my own web design
company, which would be ideal for a person such as myself. I can basically
work on my own and choose who to interact with. I also would really welcome
the independance of working for myself.
As far as the future, it's hard to predict. I'm
hoping to eventually be involved in a long term relationship; one built
on love, trust, acceptance and support. In this aspect, I'm no different
from anyone else. I'd love to come home to a warm and caring partner, live
in a beautiful house and drive a nice car. No kids, but a dog might be nice
(smile...). I want to shop at Saks and enjoy some of the finer things in
life. Who doesn't? In short, I want the same things out of life as any other
woman. However, true happiness involves having life's good and bad to share
with someone special. The material things are pale in comparison to finding
a real love. While patiently awaiting the gradual effects of hormones, I
plan on having some cosmetic surgery to enhance what Nature creates. Breast
implants, facial enhancements, etc.... I want to be the best that I can,
and am open to any means possible. Being accepted as a beautiful, intelligent
and sensual woman is my goal. The big question seems to be about Sexual
Reassignment Surgery. At this time, I don't plan on having
it. Honestly, a few years down the road, I may feel differently. My current
thoughts are that I will always be different from a genetic woman. While
I will change as many physical aspects as possible, this is the one way
in which I would remain truly unique from the rest of the world. It may
affect the prospects of my future relationships, but we true transsexuals
are like diamonds to some; a stigma to others. To the right person, we are
to be treasured.
As a side note, I want to make a comment on femininity.
It seems that many of today's women, in trying to be competitive in society,
many are not acknowledging or diluting their inherent qualities. As transsexuals,
we cherish and revel in these feminine qualities that we for so long were
unable to outwardly express. Perhaps that is the attraction to us. Nothing
profound, just an observation/personal opinion.
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