Slowly, from darkness, the letters flash across the screen, from left to right, one after another.

As the last letter appears and the red in the text glows even brighter, �Natural One� by Folk Implosion begins. This week�s video package starts out with promo footage of the UWLI superstars in an abandoned arena amidst darkened lighting. Gradually interspersed is footage of the finishers of various UWLI Superstars. The Snow Bank, the 747, the Sudden Impact, the Epiphany, the Sure Shot Driver, and so on. The video finally comes to an end, as the Internati-a-tron displays the Rage logo, fireworks erupting up and down the stage, as well as from the four ringposts.

We open up on a view of the announcers' table. Sitting in the chair to our right is a middle-aged man. What is left of his receding hair is gray and cut very short. He is wearing black-rimmed round glasses, and a gray jacket over a black shirt with the top button undone. With the fans cheering in the background, the man stands up and turns round to face them, acknowledging their excitement. He pumps his right hand into the air a couple of times, before turning to face the camera and sitting down once again with a huge smile on his face.

Man: Hello fans, and welcome to this very special edition of UWLI Rage. My name is Colin Campbell, and I am delighted to be able to present this amazing event to you in your homes. As you can see, there is an empty seat beside me, I was told that I would have a partner but I don�t know who or where�

Just then the lights in the arena dim, fading almost to black. Then the entranceway is bathed in a blue light, and �Evil Scotsman� by Billy Connolly begins to play over the PA system. Two bright white pyro streams explode on either side of the entrance, crossing over and forming a large white �X�. Seconds later, a man appears through the curtain, much to the delight and confusion of the fans in attendance. The man is a shade over six feet tall and slightly overweight, with a bit of a gut. He is wearing blue jeans and a black NGN t-shirt, and is carrying a bottle in one hand and a glass in the other. He makes his way down to ringside and over to the bewildered Colin Campbell, and sits down beside him. After putting down the bottle and glass on the table, he puts on the headset.

Campbell: I assume that you�re going to assist me in calling these matches tonight then?

Man 2: Damn right! Ah've been askin' auld Prez Bobbie tae give me a chance oot here, and Davey finally managed tae swing it for me.

Campbell: So you're Donnie, Davey Dee's cousin?

Donnie: Well ah'm sure no his granny.

Campbell: I see. May I ask, how the hell did you get music and pyro for your entrance?

Donnie: Oh, that was easy, ah just bribed the production crew.

Campbell: Clever. Do you even know why we�re here?

Donnie: Of course, what dae ye take me for? Ladies and gentlemen, ye are currently fortunate enough tae be tuned in tae the best professional wrestlin' program on the planet, UWL International Rage. We've got some amazin' matches for ye here tonight, includin' two titles on the line, a match tae determine a new number one contender for John Wilcox's Triple Crown Title, plus ma buddies NGN take on Paladin and Tylor in an elimination tag match.

Campbell: That's exactly right, I'm impressed.

Donnie: Ye should be, they're your bloody notes.

Campbell: I wondered what had happened to those.

Donnie: Never mind that, let's get started. Who's up first?

Campbell: Two promising young lightweights that were only recently signed up, Critical and The Lucha square off.

Donnie: Oh aye, ah remember these two fae Devil's Night. Lucha got his arse whipped by Critical, who also went on tae beat Betsy Brown for a shot at the Lightweight Title.

Campbell: Unfortunately he wasn't able to capture the gold. But, he made a great showing against the champion, Sandy Raines, even after a Goran Crusher from Betsy Brown before the match. And don't count out The Lucha either, he managed to survive a very tough 10-Man Battle Royal last week right down to the final two, only just losing out on the win.

Donnie: Second place rarely counts for anythin' in this business, mate.

Campbell: Very true, but he has impressed a few people nonetheless. Both men are now in the ring, let's get to the action!

Critical vs. The Lucha

Donnie: Oh ya bugger, that had tae hurt!

Campbell: Critical was all over Lucha 'till that big time counter there, let's see if Mr Saito's protege can push the advantage now.

The Lucha goes for a Tombstone, but Critical blocks it.
Critical hits The Lucha with an enzuigiri to the face.
The arena is exploding in a chorus of boos.
Critical uses a Destiny Hammer on The Lucha.
The decibel level in the building is unbelievable.
Critical uses an enzuigiri to the face on The Lucha.
Critical is being booed out of the building.
Critical whips The Lucha into the ropes.
Critical hits The Lucha with a clothesline.
Critical is going for the cover.
Phillip Tarkin counts: One, shoulder up.
Critical hits The Lucha with a flying kneedrop.
Critical runs into the ropes.
The Lucha hits Critical with a backdrop.
The Lucha attempts to place Critical on the turnbuckle, but Critical blocks it.
The Lucha goes for a fisherman buster, but Critical blocks it.

Campbell: Looks like The Lucha was attempting to use Critical's own finisher, the Crucial Conflict, against him, but Critical saw it coming.

Critical kicks The Lucha.
The Lucha chops Critical.
The Lucha has the crowd going wild.
Critical chops The Lucha.
Critical is being booed out of the building.
Critical punches The Lucha.
The decibel level in the building is unbelievable.
Critical punches The Lucha.
Critical is being booed out of the building.
Critical whips The Lucha into the ropes.
The Lucha misses with a shoulderblock.
Critical misses with a clothesline.
The Lucha hits Critical with a kick.
The Lucha nails Critical with a dropkick.
Critical springs to his feet.

Campbell: No matter what The Lucha throws at him, Critical just won't stay down. I predict a bright future for this young superstar.

Donnie: Ye know, for a couple of lightweights, they dinnae seem tae be usin' a lot of high flyin' offense.

Campbell: Critical seems pretty at home with brawling tactics, and he's done a good job of grounding his opponent.

Critical whips The Lucha into the ropes, but The Lucha reverses it.
Critical executes an Asai leg lariat on The Lucha.
Critical takes The Lucha down with a chop.
Critical goes for a bodyslam, but The Lucha blocks it.
The Lucha punches Critical.
The Lucha hits Critical.
The crowd is going crazy.
The Lucha nails Critical with a rolling kick.
The Lucha puts Critical in the Dragon Clutch.
Critical tries to escape the hold.
Critical tries to fight the pain.
Critical submits after 13 seconds.
The crowd is behind The Lucha all the way.

The winner is The Lucha.
Time of match: 0:08:40

***At this point, our announcers had clearly not really got into the swing of things yet, and made an error in announcing the winner of this match. What follows in this special digitally remastered version of the show, is BRAND NEW commentary, voiced by Colin Campbell and Donnie Dee themselves, to cover up their original mistake***

Campbell: Oh look, The Lucha won the match.

Donnie: Oh aye, so he did.

Campbell: ...

Donnie: ...

***And now we return to the original soundtrack***

Campbell: That Dragon Clutch is a dangerous hold if properly applied.

Donnie: Don't ah bloody know it. Davey likes tae use that hold as well, many a time he's slapped it on tae me when we're sparrin'. It hurts more than havin' yer nutsack trapped in yer zipper.

Campbell: That's... pretty damn painful. Moving on, another rookie in Michael Motto is up against one of the most respected wrestlers in the business, Shane Corona.

Donnie: Most respected ma arse, ever since the split he's done bugger all. He made the mistake of takin' on NGN, and he's never been the same since.

Campbell: Well he certainly hasn't had much luck in recent weeks. At Devil's Night he... hold on a second, we're getting word that there's something of interest happening backstage. Our cameras are taking you there right now folks, stay with us!

Donnie: Woohoo, our first interruption!

:::The first match has just ended and we quickly skip backstage to where John Wilcox is stood next to a soda drink vending machine. We watch him slip some money in the slot and then hold the button down for water. Nothing happens. Wilcox presses the button again but gets no response, after hitting the machine once on the side he presses the button one last time but no drink falls down the chute and the money won�t come back out.

With no more change to put in the machine, we record as Wilcox, with Triple Crown Title wrapped around his waist, kicks the machine and then turns around to face the corridor. He begins to walk back to his dressing room and takes a 90-degree left turn only to walk straight into someone walking the other way. Both men stumble backward but then regain their footing.

When the camera focuses on the other man we see it is none other than newcomer Michael Motto. He is wearing his usual wrestling attire and it�s assumed he is about to go for his match with Shane Corona down at ringside. With Motto looking on, Wilcox smiles slightly while dusting down his title and then steps to the side to let Michael past. However when Michael takes a step John reaches forward with his hands and puts him in a headlock, slamming his head one, twice, then three times against the panelled wall.

When the grip is released Motto falls to the floor and a cut above his right eye is spilling blood around his head. Wilcox crouches down and spits in Motto�s face, shoves the title into his view, and then leaves our scene. We cut swiftly back to ringside.:::

Campbell: What the hell was that?! There was absolutely no need for John Wilcox to assault Michale Motto in that way. Just because he's the Triple Crown champ, that doesn't mean that he can do whatever he wants around here.

Donnie: Actually, it does. If he wanted tae, he could come oot here and twist yer nipples 'till they go purple, and there's no a damn thing anybody can dae aboot it.

Campbell: I'm sure President Blehschmidt can, fine him or take away some of his priveleges at least. Anyway, as I was saying before this unpleasantness... at Devil's Night Shane Corona was eliminated from the 8-way dance for the Number One Contendership for the Triple Crown by Avalanche, and then just last week he was taken out of the battle royal for a shot at any other belt by Alex Prolong. He'll be looking to turn the tide of his recent fortunes with a win here tonight.

Donnie: Well he'll have tae work pretty feckin' hard tae get it, as Michael Motto is another man who made an impact on his debut at Devil's Night, defeatin' another first timer, Hawk Adams. He didnae have a very good day last week either though, he was supposed tae be fightin' Robert Moore for the Eliminator Title, but the match only lasted five minutes before all hell broke loose.

Campbell: We'll address that appalling situation later on in the show, for right now, both men in the ring are looking to prove themselves. Let's see where this one takes us fans!

Michael Motto vs. Shane Corona

Donnie: WONDERful!

Campbell: ... you have been doing your homework.

Donnie: See, ah'm no just a pretty face.

Michael Motto uses a flying spinning leg lariat on Shane Corona.
Michael Motto takes Shane Corona down with a fisherman suplex.
Bill Thrawn counts: One, two, shoulder up.
Michael Motto takes Shane Corona down with an inverted atomic drop.
Michael Motto hits Shane Corona.
A wave of boos is going through the crowd.
Michael Motto punches Shane Corona.
The crowd is booing Michael Motto.
Michael Motto hits Shane Corona.
Shane Corona punches Michael Motto.
Shane Corona kicks Michael Motto.
Shane Corona nails Michael Motto with a double underhook faceslam.
A small "Shane Corona" chant is being started.
Shane Corona goes for a spinebuster slam, but Michael Motto counters it with a lariat.
Michael Motto is eliciting a sizable round of boos.
Michael Motto hits Shane Corona with the Michinoku Driver.

Campbell: A second michinoku driver not enough, but Motto does seem to have the veteran unbalanced here.

Donnie: In ma opinion he's been unbalanced for a long time.

Bill Thrawn counts: One, two, kickout.
Michael Motto nails Shane Corona with an enzuigiri.
Michael Motto nails Shane Corona with a kneebreaker.
Michael Motto hits a fisherman suplex on Shane Corona.
Bill Thrawn counts: One, two, kickout.
Michael Motto goes for a German suplex, but Shane Corona counters it with an elbow smash.
Shane Corona hits Michael Motto with a bodydriver.
The crowd is starting to get behind Shane Corona.
Shane Corona catches Michael Motto in the Kataha-Jime.
Michael Motto is struggling to reach the ropes.
Michael Motto is valiantly trying to break the hold.
Michael Motto breaks the hold after 13 seconds.
Michael Motto hits Shane Corona.
Michael Motto uses a Huracanrana on Shane Corona.
Bill Thrawn counts: One, two, shoulder up.
Michael Motto hits an inverted atomic drop on Shane Corona.
Michael Motto executes a belly to belly overhead release suplex on Shane Corona.
Bill Thrawn counts: One, two, kickout.
Michael Motto goes for a Japanese armdrag takedown, but Shane Corona counters it with a lariat.
Shane Corona is going for the cover.
Bill Thrawn counts: One, two, kickout.
Shane Corona leaves the ring.
He returns with a chair.
Shane Corona sets up the chair.
Shane Corona nails Michael Motto with the Rocker Dropper onto the chair.

Donnie: Yes! Proper violence at last.

Campbell: Wait a minute, I thought you and NGN were against this kind of hardcore action in the ring?

Donnie: Well, aye, we are. But ah say, if they're gonnae be daft and dae it, let them. They can bash each other aboot the heid with weapons all day, maybe even take each other oot of the business, and we get tae have a damn good laugh at them.

Campbell: That's a pretty contradictory attitude if you ask me.

Donnie: Well ah didnae ask ye, so feck off and leave me in peace tae enjoy this!

A few fans are cheering on Shane Corona.
Shane Corona goes for a fireman's carry into an Ace Crusher, but Michael Motto counters it with a slide down.
Michael Motto goes for a dropkick, but Shane Corona side-steps and Michael Motto only hits air.
Shane Corona puts Michael Motto in the cross-face chicken wing.
Michael Motto grabs the ropes after holding out for 8 seconds.
Shane Corona punches Michael Motto.
Shane Corona is getting a good reaction from the crowd.
Shane Corona nails Michael Motto with a fireman's carry into an Ace Crusher.
Shane Corona goes for the cross-face chicken wing, but Michael Motto blocks it.
Michael Motto executes The Stand on Shane Corona.

Campbell: There's that Texas Cloverleaf that Motto calls The Stand, Corona in trouble at this point.

Donnie: He's gonnae have a hard time gettin' oot of that one, Motto's got his center of gravity right over Corona's shoulder blades.

Shane Corona tries to escape the hold.
Shane Corona is inching his way towards the ropes.
Shane Corona tries to fight the pain.
Shane Corona submits after 8 seconds.
A fan at ringside badmouths Michael Motto.

The winner is Michael Motto.
Time of match: 0:07:28

Campbell: Wow, it's not often that a young man in only his third match for a company defeats a big name performer like that.

Donnie: Motto definitely showin' his toughness there, comin' back fae bein' slapped around by John, driven in tae the chair heid first, and then takin' the win. A decisive victory tae say the least.

Campbell: And Corona just can't seem to dig himself out of his current situation, he's going to go away from this one with a heavy heart. Let's hope he can find his stride soon.

Donnie: Speakin' of strides, the man who makes the biggest ones in UWLI, Mystic J, is teamin' up with his auld partner fae years past, Justice. They'll take on the former UWLI Tag Champs, New Breed.

Campbell: Up until Devil's Night, New Breed had an impressive run with the titles, only losing out to the L.O.S.E.R.S. in a Last Blood match.

Donnie: Losin' tae the L.O.S.E.R.S., oh the shame. They've got some big obstacles tae get over tonight, Mystic and Justice, once a hell of a team both here in the UWL and elsewhere. They'll be lookin' tae make a mark by beatin' the crap oot of the former champs, and havin' fun whilst doin' so.

Campbell: But New Breed won't be walked over, no matter how big you are. All four men are ready, and it looks like we'll be having Jason Star and Mystic J starting off for their teams.

Mega Maniacz vs. New Breed

Campbell: Star getting off to a great start against Mystic, and the big man wisely takes the first opportunity he gets to tag out.

Justice uses a choke slam on Jason Star.
Justice goes for a punch, but Jason Star blocks it.
Jason Star tags out to Jeff Miller.

Donnie: And now Star sees that he's nae match for Justice, so he tags his partner tae have a go.

Mystic J enters the ring and lays out Jason Star.
Justice and Mystic J hit Jeff Miller with a double powerbomb.
Mystic J leaves the ring.
Justice goes for a punch, but Jeff Miller blocks it.
Jeff Miller runs into the ropes.
Jeff Miller takes Justice down with a backspin armdrag.
Jeff Miller runs into the ropes.
Justice hits Jeff Miller with an elbow.
Mystic J enters the ring to make it two-on-one.
Justice and Mystic J whip Jeff Miller into the ropes.
They attempt to hit Jeff Miller with a double elbowsmash, but he counters it with a duck-down move.
Jeff Miller hits them with a double clothesline.
A wave of boos is going through the crowd.
Mystic J leaves the ring.
Jeff Miller uses a snap suplex on Justice.
Jeff Miller goes for a superkick, but Justice ducks out of the way.
Justice hits Jeff Miller.
Justice is getting a good reaction from the crowd.
Justice punches Jeff Miller.
Justice goes for a DDT, but Jeff Miller counters it with a low blow.

Donnie: Oooh, right in the mammy-daddy patch!

Campbell: You guys actually call it that?

Donnie: Amongst other things.

Jeff Miller hits a sitdown faceslam on Justice.
Jeff Miller nails Justice with flying headscissors.
Jeff Miller leaves the ring.
He returns with a chair.
Jeff Miller runs into the ropes and springs off the chair.
Jeff Miller takes Justice down with a bulldog.
Jeff Miller goes for a roundhouse kick, but Justice counters it with a low blow.
Justice tags out to Mystic J.
Mystic J runs into the ropes.
Mystic J takes Jeff Miller down with a clothesline.
Mystic J hits a chop on Jeff Miller.
Bill Thrawn removes the chair from the ring.

Donnie: Bloody referees, always spoilin' the fun.

Campbell: He's just doing his job.

Donnie: Ah dinnae give a monkeys, he shouldnae be interferin' with the match like that.

Campbell: For crying out loud, he's the referee!

Donnie: He's a tube.

Mystic J kicks Jeff Miller.
The crowd is cheering on Mystic J.
Mystic J punches Jeff Miller.
Jeff Miller kicks Mystic J.
Quite a few boos are audible.
Jeff Miller goes for a DDT, but Mystic J blocks it.
Mystic J hits Jeff Miller with delayed vertical suplex.
Mystic J whips Jeff Miller into the ropes.
Mystic J hits Jeff Miller with a shoulderblock.
Mystic J covers Jeff Miller.
Bill Thrawn counts: One, two, kickout.
Mystic J takes Jeff Miller down with a bodyslam.
Mystic J goes for an atomic drop, but Jeff Miller counters it with a bulldog.
Jeff Miller Yells "I am The Future".

Donnie: You are a tosser!

Campbell: Donnie!

Donnie: What?

Jeff Miller is starting to get under the crowd's skin.
Jeff Miller goes for a kneelock submission, but Mystic J counters it with a kick to the head.
The crowd is cheering on Mystic J.
Mystic J uses a chop on Jeff Miller.
Mystic J goes for a fisherman suplex, but Jeff Miller counters it with a small package.
Bill Thrawn counts: One, two, kickout.
Jeff Miller uses an enzuigiri to the face on Mystic J.
Jeff Miller nails Mystic J with an enzuigiri to the face.
Mystic J sits up.
Jeff Miller chops Mystic J.
Jeff Miller kicks Mystic J.
Quite a few boos are audible.
Jeff Miller kicks Mystic J.
Mystic J chops Jeff Miller.
Mystic J is getting a good reaction from the crowd.
Jeff Miller kicks Mystic J.
Mystic J hits Jeff Miller.
Mystic J executes a powerslam on Jeff Miller.
Bill Thrawn counts: One, two, shoulder up.
Mystic J takes Jeff Miller down with a spear.
Mystic J nails Jeff Miller with delayed vertical suplex.
Mystic J covers Jeff Miller.
Bill Thrawn counts: One, shoulder up.
Mystic J whips Jeff Miller into the ropes, but Jeff Miller reverses it.
Jeff Miller hits Mystic J with an elbow.
Mystic J sits up.

Campbell: Mystic seems to have found his groove now, nothing seems to be hurting him. So Donnie, what's in the bottle. Beer I suppose?

Donnie: Feck no, beer's great, but this is a special occassion! This is a real drink laddie, Glenmorangie Highland Single Malt Whisky. Ah'm tellin' ye, this stuff will put hairs on yer chest!

*Donnie opens the bottle and pours himself a large drink, with Campbell looking on disapprovingly*

There are lots of chants for Mystic J.
Jeff Miller goes for a back elbow, but Mystic J ducks out of the way.
Mystic J whips Jeff Miller into the ropes.
Jeff Miller hits Mystic J with a kick.
Jeff Miller hits Mystic J with a reverse DDT.
Bill Thrawn counts: One, two, shoulder up.
Jeff Miller goes for a kneelock submission, but Mystic J blocks it.
Mystic J executes an atomic drop on Jeff Miller.
Mystic J nails Jeff Miller with a DDT.
Mystic J gets the Torture Rack on Jeff Miller.
Jeff Miller is struggling to reach the ropes.
Jeff Miller tries to escape the hold.
Jeff Miller is writhing in pain.
Bill Thrawn checks Jeff Miller's arm.
He lifts it... it falls.
He lifts it... it falls.
He lifts it... it falls.
Bill Thrawn stops the match after 26 seconds.
The crowd is giving Mystic J a standing ovation.

The winners are Mystic J and Justice.
Time of match: 0:07:49

Campbell: And New Breed loses via submission for the second week in a row. They may want to seek out an old school trainer who can stretch them a little and improve their resilience to such holds.

Donnie: Aye, that would seem like the smart thing tae dae. So they probably won't. Nice win for the Mega Maniacz though, ye have tae believe that this will make them one of the teams in line for a shot at the Tag Titles.

Campbell: Indeed, and we will see those titles defended later tonight. Up next though, the rejuvenated Rasputin McKane out to prove something against yet another rookie, Hawk Adams.

Donnie: Ye know, there's a hell of a lot of rookies around. Ye think they posted adverts tae join up on the internet or somethin'?

Campbell: I wouldn't know. But I do know that Adams has not had a great start to his UWL career, getting beat by Michael Motto in his debut match, and then getting tossed out of that battle royal by Avalanche last week. Taking a look at his opponent tonight, I somehow doubt his luck is going to change anytime soon.

Donnie: Ye ain't kiddin'. McKane, or MyBitch as Davey likes tae call him, took a couple of weeks off leadin' up tae the Pay Per View tae go and "find himself", or some shite like that. He came back at Devil's Night and promptly got walloped by a returnin' Misery tae be eliminated.

Campbell: He certainly does seem to have lost a step, maybe those few weeks away actually did him more harm than good. Last week he was unable to secure a win over Hazard, and now finds himself out of the title hunt and beating up on the new talent. Let's get to the action!

Rasputin McKane vs. Hawk Adams

Campbell: Nice counter there... what the hell are you doing?

Donnie: BEE-DA BEE-DA BEE-DA, BEE-DA BEE-DA BEE-DA!

*Campbell looks on bewildered as Donnie spins around and around in his swivel chair. He stops after a few seconds*

Donnie: Dunno, thought it would be fun. And it was! BEE-DA BEE-DA BEE-DA, BEE-DA BEE-DA BEE-DA!

Campbell: Somebody please help me... anybody.

Rusty Dhodes counts: One, two, kickout.
Hawk Adams uses a belly to belly overhead release suplex on Rasputin McKane.
Rusty Dhodes counts: One, two, kickout.
Hawk Adams gives him a powerslam, but Rasputin McKane doesn't budge.
Rasputin McKane chops Hawk Adams.
The audience doesn't quite know how to react to Rasputin McKane.
Rasputin McKane kicks Hawk Adams.
A portion of the crowd is cheering Rasputin McKane.
Rasputin McKane hits a series of punches on Hawk Adams.
Rasputin McKane hits Hawk Adams with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker.
Rasputin McKane whips Hawk Adams into the ropes.
Rasputin McKane hits an enzuigiri to the face on Hawk Adams.
Rasputin McKane leaves the ring.
He returns with a chair.
Rasputin McKane sets up the chair.
Rasputin McKane hits Hawk Adams with a sitdown faceslam onto the chair.
A portion of the crowd is cheering Rasputin McKane.

Donnie: BEE-DA BEE-DA BEE-DA!

Campbell: Will you please stop that!

Donnie: Ok, ok... oooohh, aw, man, ah think ah'm gonnae be sick.

*Campbell promptly drops his headset and quickly makes his escape from the commentary position*

Rasputin McKane goes for a Russian legsweep, but Hawk Adams counters it with an elbow smash.
Hawk Adams whips Rasputin McKane into the ropes.
Hawk Adams hits Rasputin McKane with a kick.
Hawk Adams covers Rasputin McKane.
Rusty Dhodes counts: One, two, kickout.
Hawk Adams whips Rasputin McKane into the ropes.
Rasputin McKane hits Hawk Adams with a clothesline.
Hawk Adams falls out of the ring.
Rusty Dhodes counts: one, two, three, Hawk Adams reenters the ring.
Rasputin McKane uses a Russian legsweep on Hawk Adams.
Rasputin McKane hits a double underhook piledriver on Hawk Adams.
A portion of the crowd is booing Rasputin McKane.
Rasputin McKane hits Hawk Adams with an enzuigiri to the face.
Rasputin McKane executes the Ricochet Suplex on Hawk Adams.

Donnie: Bloody hell, ah've never seen anythin' like that before!

Rusty Dhodes counts: One, two, three.
A portion of the crowd is cheering Rasputin McKane.

The winner is Rasputin McKane.
Time of match: 0:03:25

*Campbell cautiously comes back to the announcing table and sits down, slowly putting his headset back on*

Donnie: Where the feck did ye go, ye missed the end of the match.

Campbell: No I didn't, I saw it just fine from over there. McKane destroyed Adams in under three and a half minutes, I'd say he's back in business, cutting through the competition like he used to when he debuted in the UWL. You sure you're ok now?

Donnie: Aye, aye, ah'm fine. Ah just need more booze.

Campbell: Well, you sort yourself out while I tell the fans about our next match. Folks, the UWLI Lightweight Title is about to be decided, with Sandy Raines defending against Betsy Brown. As the Unified Cruiserweight Champion, Raines fought long and hard to finally capture the International title from the traitorous Chris Logan at Devil's Night. He made his first successful defense against Critical last week, and now has a tough challenge in Brown.

Donnie: Bah, she's nothin', hasnae won a single title here yet. Keeps goin' on aboot how she's some kind of super hero fae another world, but really she's just some auld slapper that Beacom cleaned up and put in the ring.

Campbell: That is an outrageous accusation, and completely unfounded. Betsy is one of the top female wrestlers in the world today, although I admit she hasn't had much luck in her matches recently. Tonight she's out to prove that she can hang with the big boys.

Donnie: Big boys? Raines? You been at ma whisky, boy?

Campbell: Of course not. Look out, here comes Sandy now.

The crowd cheers in appreciation as �Not Forever� by Tsunami Bomb begins to play over the loudspeaker, and Sandy Raines comes out from backstage, microphone in hand. He�s wearing his standard red sequined wrestling suit, pants and an open jacket. On his left shoulder he brandished the UWL International Lightweight Title. Around his waist is the Unified Wrestling League Unified Cruiserweight Title. He runs down to the ring, jumping under the lowest rope to enter on his stomach. After flashing a hand signal to the crowd (Right hand: Thumb and two fingers next to it out straight, the other two curved it), begins to speak.

Sandy: I love you, too.

Cheers.

Sandy: What I was trying to say last week, before I was so rudely interrupted, was that Mystic J made the mystic mistake of mutilating me. Then he went and apologized, so I was unsure of what to do. But it seems that there�s someone else involved. This �Kenosis� guy who cut me off last week. Well, Keno, you can give your crappy poetry all you like, but your words don�t mean a thing to me. You have an issue with the Raine Man, you face him about it. You don�t go around putting up stupid messages on the screen. That�s retarded. But since you obviously spent as much as three minutes making up those dope rhymes, let me-

Brak: This is the Song That doesn�t end!

Sandy: What the hell?

Brak: It just goes on and on my friend!
Some people started singing it not knowing what it was
And now they keep on singing it forever just because
This is the song that doesn�t end!
It just goes on and on my friend!
Some people started singing it not knowing what it was
And now they keep on singing it forever just because

Sandy: oh, yeah, that�s clever.

Brak: This is the song that doesn�t end!
It just goes on and on my friend!
Some people started singing it not knowing what it was
And now they keep on singing it forever just because

Sandy: I�m laughing my ass off.

Brak: This is the song that doesn�t end!
It just goes on and on my friend!
Some people started singing it not knowing what it was
And now they keep on singing it forever just because

Sandy: Adult Swim is gonna sue you for using Brak�s voice.

This is the song that doesn�t end!
It just goes on and on my friend!
Some people started singing it not knowing what it was
And now they keep on singing it forever just because

Sandy: Shut up!

This is the song that doesn�t end!
It just goes on and on my friend!
Some people started singing it not knowing what it was
And now they keep on singing it forever just because

Shut up!

This is the song that doesn�t end!
It just goes on and on my friend!
Some people started singing it not knowing what it was
And now they keep on singing it forever just because

For the love of Christ!

This is the song that doesn�t end!
It just goes on and on my friend!
Some people started singing it not knowing what it was
And now they keep on singing it forever just because

Music Man!

This is the song that doesn�t end!
It just goes on and on my friend!
Some people started singing it not knowing what it was
And now they keep on singing it forever just because

Turn it off!

This is the song that doesn�t end!
It just goes on and on my friend!
Some people started singing it not knowing what it was
And now they keep on singing it forever just because

I hate that fucking song!

This is the song that doesn�t end!
It just goes on and on my friend!
Some people started singing it not knowing what it was
And now they keep on singing it forever just because

God DAMN!

This is the song that doesn�t end!
It just goes on and on my friend!
Some people started singing it not knowing what it was
And now they keep on singing it forever just because

For the love of Christ, turn that shit off!

This is the song that doesn�t end!
It just goes on and on my friend!
Some people started singing it not knowing what it was
And now they keep on singing it forever just because

Arrrggghhhh!

This is the song that doesn�t end!
It just goes on and on my friend!
Some people started singing it not knowing what it was
And now they keep on singing it forever just because
This is the song that doesn�t end!
It just goes on and on my friend!
Some people started singing it not knowing what it was
And now they keep on singing it forever just because
This is the song that doesn�t end!
It just goes on and on my friend!
Some people started singing it not knowing what it was
And now they keep on singing it forever just because
This is the song that doesn�t end!
It just goes on and on my friend!
Some people started singing it not knowing what it was
And now they keep on singing it forever just because
This is the song that doesn�t end!
It just goes on and on my friend!
Some people started singing it not knowing what it was
And now they keep on singing it forever just because

...

...

...

Well. Now that that�s done, I can continue my speech. As I was saying. Kenosis! Your stupid tricks aren�t going to beat me. I am the master of backstage idiocy. You think that little stunt counts as a mind game? Please, man. You�re an amateur. Right off the

This is the song that doesn�t end!

FUCKING HELL!

We go to commercial. We see commercials for the latest UWL Game, UWL: International Kicks Ass, Chork, The Latest Avril Lavigne CD, and an old Chuck Rice-A-Roni ad.

When we come back, the song has finally stopped and Sandy Raines awaits his opponent in the ring.

Campbell: Sandy Raines, once again, is silenced by a mysterious backstage presence.

Donnie: �that doesnae end. It just goes on and on ma friend�.

Campbell: What the hell?

Donnie: It�s catchy! Some people started singin' it�.

Campbell: I think we've had quite enough of that, thank you. Can we just get this match underway please?

Donnie: Well, ye'll have tae wait for Betsy first. Here she comes now.

The crowd are eagerly awaiting the lightweight title match between Sandy Raines and Betsy Brown. Sandy is standing in the ring, awaiting Betsy's entrance. He doesn't wait for very long, soon the choir singing the Superhero song begin to chant and Betsy appears on the entrance ramp to an enthusiastic crowd response. Betsy is wearing her normal ring attire. How best to describe it? Well, if she was standing behind a window holding a red light you would think we were in Amsterdam. Betsy waves to the crowd.

Donnie: Jesus Christ, look at the gazoongas on that!

Campbell: Way to be professional.

Donnie: Up yours.

Betsy: Hello citizens! So nice to see all your faces again. Except you. You are surprisingly hairy for a woman. It's funny how time flies isn't it? In many ways it flies like me... hard and fast. Only last week I was standing here ready to destroy Critical with the most devastating weapon in the galaxy, the Goran Krusher. Now Sandy, I stand poised ready to do the same to you.

Lately Sandy, I have perceived that you have been most whiney, going on and on about how you don't enjoy wrestling anymore, how the pain has become too much for you to bare. And frankly I can appreciate that, if Mystic J came along and poked me with his big branding stick I wouldn't enjoy it at all. Especially seeing how it looked all strange and bent. What is it with Mystic and his J?

Well, anyway, how bout this for a deal? If you lie down, let me get the pin, then I won't hurt you. It's your choice, so I'm gonna run down to the ring and see what happens.

Betsy jogs down to the ring and is met with a sharp right jab from Sandy. She rolls back out.

Betsy: Sandy, Sandy, Sandy... why did you have to do that? NOW IM GOING TO SO HAVE TO KICK YOUR ASS!

Betsy leaps the top rope and the match is on.

Sandy Raines vs. Betsy Brown
UWLI Lightweight Title Match

Campbell: Despite this mysterious Kenosis' attempts to distract Sandy, and a fired up Betsy Brown, Raines is taking it to his opponent thus far.

Donnie: Ah wouldnae mind takin' it tae her maself.

Sandy Raines executes a missile dropkick on Betsy Brown.
The crowd is starting to get behind Sandy Raines.
Sandy Raines uses a dragon screw on Betsy Brown.
Sandy Raines goes for an Asai leg lariat, but Betsy Brown side-steps and Sandy Raines only hits air.
Betsy Brown whips Sandy Raines into the ropes, but Sandy Raines reverses it.
Sandy Raines hits a chop on Betsy Brown.
Sandy Raines goes for a dragon screw, but Betsy Brown blocks it.
Betsy Brown goes for a jumping side kick, but Sandy Raines ducks out of the way.
Sandy Raines nails Betsy Brown with a bodyslam.
Sandy Raines hits Betsy Brown with a flying somersault dropkick.
Bill Thrawn counts: One, two, kickout.
Sandy Raines hits Betsy Brown with a missile dropkick.
You can hear a few scattered fans cheering for Sandy Raines.
Sandy Raines uses a clothesline on Betsy Brown.
Sandy Raines whips Betsy Brown into the ropes, but Betsy Brown reverses it.
Sandy Raines goes for a clothesline, but Betsy Brown counters it with a crucifix.
Bill Thrawn counts: One, two, shoulder up.
Betsy Brown punches Sandy Raines.
A portion of the crowd is booing Betsy Brown.
Sandy Raines kicks Betsy Brown.
You can hear a few scattered fans cheering for Sandy Raines.
Betsy Brown hits Sandy Raines.
A portion of the crowd is booing Betsy Brown.
Sandy Raines hits Betsy Brown.
Sandy Raines kicks Betsy Brown.
Betsy Brown hits Sandy Raines.
A portion of the crowd is cheering Betsy Brown.
Betsy Brown chops Sandy Raines.
Sandy Raines kicks Betsy Brown.

Campbell: A lot of brawling going on right now.

Donnie: Come on ya pussies, somebody bring in some weapons!

Campbell: You really want to see these two destroy each other?

Donnie: Absolutely.

Campbell: *sighs* Where is the love Donnie, where is the love?

Donnie: In Paris, is it no?

Campbell: That's the Louvre, moron.

Donnie: Feck off, arsewipe.

The crowd is starting to get behind Sandy Raines.
Sandy Raines whips Betsy Brown into the ropes.
Sandy Raines takes Betsy Brown down with a Huracanrana.
Bill Thrawn counts: One, kickout.
Sandy Raines throws Betsy Brown into the turnbuckle, but Betsy Brown reverses it.
Betsy Brown charges into the corner, but Sandy Raines moves out of the way.
Sandy Raines sends Betsy Brown into the turnbuckle, but Betsy Brown reverses it.
Betsy Brown runs shoulder-first into the corner, but Sandy Raines moves out of the way.
Sandy Raines whips Betsy Brown into the ropes.
Betsy Brown hits a dropkick to the groin on Sandy Raines.
A portion of the crowd is booing Betsy Brown.
Betsy Brown uses an Asai moonsault on Sandy Raines.
Bill Thrawn counts: One, two, kickout.
Betsy Brown takes Sandy Raines down with a moonsault into an armdrag.
Betsy Brown nails Sandy Raines with an enzuigiri.
Betsy Brown takes Sandy Raines down with a corkscrew splash.
Bill Thrawn counts: One, two, shoulder up.

Campbell: Brown on fire here, looks like the Title may be in jepeordy!

Betsy Brown sends Sandy Raines into the turnbuckle, but Sandy Raines reverses it.
Sandy Raines nails Betsy Brown with a chop.
Sandy Raines uses a dragon screw on Betsy Brown.
Sandy Raines takes Betsy Brown down with a missile dropkick.
You can hear a few scattered fans cheering for Sandy Raines.
Sandy Raines is going for the cover.
Bill Thrawn counts: One, two, shoulder up.
Sandy Raines goes for a bow-and-arrow Dragon Sleeper, but Betsy Brown blocks it.
Betsy Brown nails Sandy Raines with a dropkick to the groin.
Betsy Brown acknowledges the portion of the crowd which is cheering her.
Betsy Brown goes for a handspring moonsault, but Sandy Raines rolls out of the way.
Sandy Raines uses a missile dropkick on Betsy Brown.
The crowd is starting to get behind Sandy Raines.
Sandy Raines whips Betsy Brown into the ropes.
Sandy Raines executes a dropkick on Betsy Brown.
Sandy Raines uses a flying somersault dropkick on Betsy Brown.
Bill Thrawn counts: One, two, thr... shoulder up.
Sandy Raines uses a Firebird Splash on Betsy Brown.
Bill Thrawn counts: One, two, thr... shoulder up.
Sandy Raines executes the Rainestorm on Betsy Brown.

Donnie: Ouchie, ah dinnae think she'll be gettin' up fae that.

Bill Thrawn counts: One, two, three.
You can hear a few scattered fans cheering for Sandy Raines.

The winner is Sandy Raines.
Time of match: 0:07:07

Campbell: Nicely predicted, Sandy Raines keeps his championship, and Besty Brown is sent back to the drawing board.

Donnie: What does drawin' have tae dae with wrestlin'? Seriously, yer one weird auld man.

Campbell: I'm not that old.

Donnie: Ye aulder than Blehschmidt?

Campbell: Well, yes...

Donnie: Then yer pretty feckin' auld!

Campbell: With age comes wisdom and experience, something that both men in our next match have plenty of. Speed Racer takes on Avalanche.

Donnie: Racer decided tae take a month off after losin' the Triple Crown tae Sean Tylor the week after the Unified Pay Per View, and he came back at Devil's Night tae enter himself in the 8-Man Match for the Number One Contendership.

Campbell: He didn't succeed that night thanks to Misery, but in the course of the match he did eliminate Avalanche. The big man will be looking for revenge against the man who robbed him of the chance to be king.

Donnie: Racer's in the ring, and here comes 'Lanche... oh hey, "Hit The Floor", ah love this song!

Campbell: I'm sure you can identify with hitting the floor with the way you drink. Speed Racer wants the victory here to re-establish himself as the man that everyone needs to be wary of, after losing out in the latest Number One Contendership series of matches, both at Devil's Night and just last week on Rage. Let's go to the ring.

Avalanche vs. Speed Racer

Campbell: Both men are down after an explosive start to this match.

Donnie: 'Lanchey tried tae take Racer oot early, but Speedie came back tae get a couple of near falls himself.

Campbell: I think they realise that with the power of Avalanche, and the pure wrestling ability of Racer, either man could end up suffering an injury in this match. Look out, Avalanche is back up.

Avalanche punches Speed Racer.
The crowd is booing Avalanche.
Speed Racer punches Avalanche.
A small "Speed Racer" chant is being started.
Speed Racer chops Avalanche.
Speed Racer punches Avalanche.
The crowd is starting to get behind Speed Racer.
Speed Racer hits a spinning back suplex on Avalanche.
Speed Racer hits Avalanche with a cradle piledriver.
Speed Racer goes for a Russian legsweep, but Avalanche counters it with an elbow smash.
Avalanche goes for a clothesline, but Speed Racer counters it with a belly-to-back suplex.
Speed Racer nails Avalanche with a high knee.
Speed Racer sets up Avalanche on the turnbuckle.
Speed Racer goes for the Flatliner, but Avalanche counters it with a throw-off.

Campbell: Smart move by 'Lanche, I don't know if even he can kick out of the Flatliner.

Donnie: Bah, ma granny could kick oot of that.

Campbell: I highly doubt it.

Avalanche nails Speed Racer with a bulldog.
A wave of boos is going through the crowd.
Avalanche throws Speed Racer out of the ring.
Avalanche rolls out under the bottom rope.
Avalanche whips Speed Racer into the guardrail.
Rusty Dhodes counts: 1.
Avalanche goes for a fisherman suplex, but Speed Racer counters it with a small package.
Rusty Dhodes counts: 2.
Speed Racer reenters the ring.
Avalanche climbs back into the ring.
Speed Racer takes Avalanche down with a bulldog.
Speed Racer nails Avalanche with a flying legdrop.
Rusty Dhodes counts: One, two, in the ropes...
Speed Racer goes for a fisherman suplex, but Avalanche counters it with a small package.
Rusty Dhodes counts: One, two, shoulder up.
Avalanche attempts to place Speed Racer on the turnbuckle, but Speed Racer blocks it.
Avalanche nails Speed Racer with a sidewalk slam.
The crowd is booing Avalanche.
Avalanche whips Speed Racer into the ropes.
Speed Racer hits Avalanche with an elbow.
Speed Racer goes for a snap suplex, but Avalanche counters it with a vertical suplex.
In turn, Speed Racer counters it with a small package.
Rusty Dhodes counts: One, two, kickout.

Campbell: And that's the kind of thing that Avalanche needs to watch out for, Speed Racer is able to counter just about any move into a pinning or submission maneuver.

Speed Racer nails Avalanche with a belly-to-belly suplex.
A small "Speed Racer" chant is being started.
Speed Racer gets a scorpion deathlock on Avalanche.
Avalanche makes it to the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds.
Speed Racer hits a missile dropkick on Avalanche.
Speed Racer throws Avalanche into the turnbuckle.
Avalanche comes back and rocks Speed Racer with an elbow.
Avalanche goes for an avalanche, but Speed Racer side-steps and Avalanche only hits air.
Speed Racer nails Avalanche with a swinging neckbreaker.
The crowd is starting to get behind Speed Racer.
Speed Racer goes for a snap suplex, but Avalanche counters it with a vertical suplex.
Avalanche hits Speed Racer with a belly-to-belly suplex.
Avalanche executes a big boot to the face on Speed Racer.

Campbell: Oh my, I think Speed Racer better start praying that he didn't lose any teeth on that one.

Donnie: Oh hey, speakin' of prayers, ah learnt a new one today. Let me see now... Our Father who art in heaven, Harris be thy name...

Campbell: Uh, no Donnie, I don't think that's quite right. Who taught you that?

Donnie: Just some wee poof backstage who was carryin' Avalanche's bags.

Campbell: That guy?! Why the hell were you talking to him?

Donnie: Well, ah needed somebody tae go and steal yer notes, ah was too busy tae go and dae it maself. Apparently this guy will dae just aboot anythin' for money.

Campbell: So I've heard.

The crowd is booing Avalanche.
Avalanche goes for a fallaway slam, but Speed Racer counters it with a forearm smash.
Speed Racer punches Avalanche.
Speed Racer punches Avalanche.
A small "Speed Racer" chant is being started.
Speed Racer hits Avalanche.
Speed Racer goes for a short clothesline, but Avalanche counters it with a Gorilla Press.
Avalanche goes for a belly-to-belly suplex, but Speed Racer counters it with a punch.
Speed Racer hits Avalanche.
Speed Racer chops Avalanche.
A small "Speed Racer" chant is being started.
Avalanche kicks Speed Racer.
Avalanche punches Speed Racer.
The crowd is booing Avalanche.
Speed Racer kicks Avalanche.
Speed Racer punches Avalanche.
Speed Racer executes a tornado DDT on Avalanche.
A small "Speed Racer" chant is being started.
Speed Racer goes for a power bomb into a bridge, but Avalanche blocks it.
Avalanche uses an inverted power bomb on Speed Racer.

Donnie: And that's the kind of thing that Racer needs tae watch oot for, Avalanche is able tae dominate just aboot anybody with his size and strength.

The crowd is booing Avalanche.
Avalanche punches Speed Racer.
Avalanche punches Speed Racer.
A fan at ringside badmouths Avalanche.
Avalanche hits a big boot to the face on Speed Racer.
Avalanche goes for an inverted power bomb, but Speed Racer blocks it.
Speed Racer runs into the ropes.
Speed Racer hits a swinging neckbreaker on Avalanche.
Speed Racer goes for a belly-to-belly suplex, but Avalanche counters it with a punch.
Avalanche hits Speed Racer with uranage suplex.
Avalanche further incites the crowd.
Avalanche goes for a reverse neckbreaker, but Speed Racer blocks it.
Speed Racer executes a springboard dropkick on Avalanche.
The crowd is cheering on Speed Racer.
Speed Racer goes for a Psycho Driver, but Avalanche blocks it.
Avalanche takes Speed Racer down with a fisherman suplex.
Rusty Dhodes counts: One, two, kickout.
Avalanche punches Speed Racer.
The arena is exploding in a chorus of boos.
Speed Racer punches Avalanche.
Speed Racer chops Avalanche.
Speed Racer hits Avalanche with a tiger bomb.
Rusty Dhodes counts: One, two, thr...
shoulder up.

Campbell: Racer hitting a powerful move on his larger opponent, that was all about technique to get the big man up there.

Speed Racer nails Avalanche with a high knee.
Speed Racer attempts to place Avalanche on the turnbuckle, but Avalanche blocks it.
Speed Racer executes a superkick on Avalanche.
The crowd is really behind Speed Racer.
Speed Racer uses a tiger bomb on Avalanche.
Rusty Dhodes counts: One, kickout.
Speed Racer locks Avalanche in a Texas Cloverleaf.
Avalanche is struggling to reach the ropes.
Avalanche tries to escape the hold.
Avalanche inches his way towards the ropes after 14 seconds.
Speed Racer yells "Prepare to be Flatlined!!".

Donnie: Ah think he might be goin' for the Flatliner.

Campbell: ... really, what gave it away?

Speed Racer attempts to place Avalanche on the turnbuckle, but Avalanche blocks it.
Avalanche goes for a belly-to-belly suplex, but Speed Racer counters it with a punch.
There are lots of chants for Speed Racer.
Speed Racer executes a missile dropkick on Avalanche.
The crowd is really behind Speed Racer.
Speed Racer throws Avalanche into the turnbuckle.
Speed Racer runs shoulder-first into the corner.
Speed Racer takes Avalanche down with a superkick.
Speed Racer locks Avalanche in a scorpion deathlock.
Avalanche is struggling to reach the ropes.
Speed Racer lets go after 13 seconds.
Speed Racer whips Avalanche into the ropes.
Avalanche hits Speed Racer with a kick.
Avalanche hits a fallaway slam on Speed Racer.
Avalanche whips Speed Racer into the ropes, but Speed Racer reverses it.
Avalanche takes Speed Racer down with a clothesline.
Avalanche takes Speed Racer down with a full nelson slam.
Avalanche runs into the ropes.
Avalanche goes for a clothesline, but Speed Racer counters it with a belly-to-belly suplex.
Speed Racer goes for an implant DDT, but Avalanche blocks it.
Avalanche hits a Frankensteiner on Speed Racer.

Campbell: Whoah, impressive agility from such a big man.

Rusty Dhodes counts: One, kickout.
Avalanche hits Speed Racer with uranage suplex.
Numerous fans are using Avalanche for target practice.
Avalanche nails Speed Racer with a double underhook power bomb.
Numerous fans are using Avalanche for target practice.
Avalanche goes for a fisherman suplex, but Speed Racer counters it with a small package.
Rusty Dhodes counts: One, two, three.
The crowd is going crazy.

The winner is Speed Racer.
Time of match: 0:11:29

Campbell: There you have it fans, Speed Racer takes the win with a counter to the fisherman suplex. I think Avalanche needs to be a little more mindful of Racer's countering abilities.

Donnie: Aye, all the power in the world cannae help ye if yer a crap wrestler. There's a lot of guys around here that could learn fae that lesson.

Campbell: Nobody in this company is "crap", except perhaps you.

Donnie: Sook ma boaby.

Campbell: ... I have absolutely no idea what you just said, but I don't think I want any part of it.

Donnie: Wise decision. Up next fans is a match tae determine who will be the next man tae challenge ma pal John Wilcox for his Triple Crown Championship. Last week a series of matches were held tae find oot who deserved tae even have a shot at havin' a shot, if ye follow me, and now we've got three apparently world class athletes ready tae go at it for the prize.

Campbell: Quite correct. Clint Tennant came in with a lot of fire in his first singles match for International to defeat the former champ Sean Tylor. Matt Steele took it to Speed Racer and secured arguably his biggest singles win ever, while Hazard survived a ten minute war with Rasputin McKane to earn his way into this match.

Donnie: Tennant's lookin' tae establish himself quickly here. Ah mean, comin' fae Mainland, he's obviously suddenly found himself bein' a small fish in a big pond, but he's done well so far. That little prick Steele will be goin' full steam ahead as always, although if ye ask me he's bitten off more than he can chew here, 'specially since he's got another match later tonight. Hazard is... well, he's a tool, if he thinks he can get anywhere near Wilcox, as he seems tae think goin' by the Promo-Net.

Campbell: Speaking of Hazard, fans we're still awaiting the return of Ug The Barbarian to action. I'm not sure what his current condition is, but I've heard it's not good, after Hazard decimated one of our biggest fan favorites about a month ago.

Donnie: Dipstick, as ah said earlier, if they want tae take each other oot like that, then it saves John and Davey a job. Now shut it and just call the action.

Clint Tennant vs. Matt Steele vs. Hazard
#1 Contender's Match for the Triple Crown Title

Donnie: Yikes, now that's what ah call gettin' under yer opponent's skin.

Campbell: Hazard just slapped the taste right out of Matt Steele's mouth, then tagged out to avoid retaliation.

Donnie: Ah hate tae admit it, but good psychology bein' used there.

A wave of boos is going through the crowd.
Clint Tennant goes for a double underhook power bomb, but Matt Steele counters it with a backdrop.
Matt Steele hits Clint Tennant with an Arabian Facebuster.
The crowd is starting to get behind Matt Steele.
Matt Steele tags out to Hazard.

Campbell: Ooh, did you see that slap of a tag?

Donnie: Ah dinnae think these two gentlemen like each other very much.

Hazard hits a punch on Clint Tennant.
Hazard throws Clint Tennant into the turnbuckle, but Clint Tennant reverses it.
Clint Tennant runs into the ropes.
Clint Tennant goes for a lariat, but Hazard blocks it.
Hazard uses a swinging neckbreaker on Clint Tennant.
Hazard hits Clint Tennant.
There are lots of chants for Hazard.
Hazard chops Clint Tennant.
Hazard uses a European uppercut on Clint Tennant.
Hazard goes for a punch, but Clint Tennant blocks it.
Clint Tennant nails Hazard with a power bomb into a bridge.
Phillip Tarkin counts: One, two, shoulder up.
Clint Tennant nails Hazard with a knee to the back.
Clint Tennant uses a Soviet suplex on Hazard.
Clint Tennant hits a brain buster on Hazard.
A wave of boos is going through the crowd.
Clint Tennant places Hazard on the turnbuckle.
Clint Tennant takes Hazard down with a Tree of Woe Baseball Slide.

Donnie: Right in the mush!

Clint Tennant hits a shoulderbreaker on Hazard.
Clint Tennant uses a fisherman suplex on Hazard.
Phillip Tarkin counts: One, two, shoulder up.
Clint Tennant throws Hazard into the turnbuckle.
Clint Tennant nails Hazard with a lariat.
Clint Tennant goes for a cradle suplex, but Hazard turns in mid-air and lands on him.
Phillip Tarkin counts: One, two, kickout.
Hazard hits a spear on Clint Tennant.
Hazard nails Clint Tennant with a German suplex.
Phillip Tarkin counts: One, two, kickout.
Hazard goes for the Oriental Spike, but Clint Tennant blocks it.
Clint Tennant hits Hazard with a tiger suplex.
Phillip Tarkin counts: One, two, kickout.
Clint Tennant executes a superkick on Hazard.
Clint Tennant tags out to Matt Steele.
Matt Steele uses flying headscissors on Hazard.
Matt Steele goes for a flying sunset flip, but Hazard sits down on him , cradling his legs.
Phillip Tarkin counts: One, two, shoulder up.

Campbell: Looks like Hazard has been scouting his opponents, he's doing a good job of countering Steele and Tennant's favorite offense into pinning predicaments.

Hazard hits a jab on Matt Steele.
Hazard whips Matt Steele into the ropes.
Hazard goes for a spear, but Matt Steele counters it with a kneelift.
Matt Steele attempts to place Hazard on the turnbuckle, but Hazard blocks it.
Matt Steele hits Hazard.
Matt Steele kicks Hazard.
Matt Steele is getting a good reaction from the crowd.
Matt Steele whips Hazard into the turnbuckle, but Hazard reverses it.
Hazard charges into the corner.
Hazard goes for a Steinerline, but Matt Steele counters it with a crucifix.
Phillip Tarkin counts: One, two, kickout.
Matt Steele hits Hazard.
The crowd is cheering on Matt Steele.
Matt Steele hits Hazard.
Matt Steele chops Hazard.
Matt Steele is getting a good reaction from the crowd.
Hazard punches Matt Steele.
Hazard hits an implant DDT on Matt Steele.
Hazard is going for the cover.
Phillip Tarkin counts: One, two, kickout.
Hazard runs into the ropes.
Matt Steele uses a dropkick on Hazard.
Matt Steele uses a Huracanrana on Hazard.
Phillip Tarkin counts: One, shoulder up.
Matt Steele attempts to place Hazard on the turnbuckle, but Hazard blocks it.
Matt Steele hits a Huracanrana on Hazard.
Phillip Tarkin counts: One, two, in the ropes...
Matt Steele nails Hazard with an Asai moonsault.
Phillip Tarkin counts: One, shoulder up.
Matt Steele executes a missile dropkick on Hazard.
Matt Steele is going for the pin.
Phillip Tarkin counts: One, two, kickout.

Donnie: Steele pickin' up the pace here, ah dinnae know if Hazard can keep up.

Matt Steele attempts to place Hazard on the turnbuckle, but Hazard blocks it.
Matt Steele goes for an Asai moonsault, but Hazard counters it with a Tombstone.
Hazard has the crowd going wild.
Hazard is going for the cover.
Phillip Tarkin counts: One, kickout.
Hazard runs into the ropes.
Hazard misses with an elbow.
Matt Steele hits Hazard with a shoulderblock.
Matt Steele hits Hazard with a Firebird Splash.
Phillip Tarkin counts: One, two, kickout.
Matt Steele executes the Epiphany on Hazard.

Campbell: Good Lord, that looked painful.

Matt Steele is getting a good reaction from the crowd.
Matt Steele goes for the pin.
Phillip Tarkin counts: One, two, three.

Hazard has been eliminated.

Campbell: Hazard started off looking very strong in this match, but a flurry of offense from Steele soon put an end to his title hopes.

Donnie: Good riddance, he disnae deserve tae be in the same ring as Wilcox anyway. No that Steele does either.

Campbell: What about Tennant?

Donnie: He can dae whatever he wants if he gives me one of his International Hotties.

Campbell: Why am I not surprised.

They lock up.
Clint Tennant nails Matt Steele with a fisherman suplex.
Phillip Tarkin counts: One, two, kickout.
Clint Tennant goes for a brain buster, but Matt Steele counters it with a small package.
Phillip Tarkin counts: One, two, kickout.
Matt Steele complains about a slow count.
Matt Steele whips Clint Tennant into the ropes.
Clint Tennant hits Matt Steele with a clothesline.
Clint Tennant goes for a powerslam, but Matt Steele counters it with a sunset flip.
Phillip Tarkin counts: One, two, shoulder up.
Matt Steele goes for a Huracanrana, but Clint Tennant counters it with a powerbomb.

Campbell: Good night, Steele's head was just drilled into the mat there.

Phillip Tarkin counts: One, two, shoulder up.
A fan at ringside badmouths Clint Tennant.
Clint Tennant locks Matt Steele in the STF.
Matt Steele grabs the ropes after 5 seconds.
Clint Tennant takes Matt Steele down with a legsweep faceslam.
Clint Tennant hits a bulldog on Matt Steele.
Clint Tennant is eliciting a sizable round of boos.
Clint Tennant is going for the pin.
Phillip Tarkin counts: One, two, three.
Matt Steele complains about a fast count.
Matt Steele has been eliminated.
The arena is exploding in a chorus of boos.

The winner is Clint Tennant.
Time of match: 0:13:33

Campbell: And our winner, and new Number One Contender for the Triple Crown, Clint Tennant.

Donnie: Ah'm no surprised after that powerbomb, Steele looked completely oot of it. Ah'm bettin' that he'll get his arse handed tae him in his match with Misery later.

Campbell: Tough to disagree with you there, let's hope the trainers backstage can give Steele the all clear to compete in that match. The Tag Team Titles will be decided next folks, as L.O.S.E.R.S. take on Insanity.

Donnie: Disco and Russ have been dyin' tae get their hands on those Titles ever since the split, and unfortunately, it finally happened at Devil's Night. What was good aboot the match though, they had tae make three other teams bleed before they won, it was an awesome sight.

Campbell: The L.O.S.E.R.S. made a successful defense against the former champs New Breed last week, and now they face two men who have changed their attitude, and their luck, in recent weeks. Both teams are getting ready now, let's...

Donnie: Whoah, whoah, whoah... hold on a minute. Ah've got an important announcement tae make.

*Donnie leaves the commentary position and goes to the ring announcer, asking for the microphone. He goes back to the table and climbs up on to it, making sure everyone is paying attention to him*

Campbell: What the hell is this?

Donnie: Ladies and gentlemen, yer attention please. Right now, ah have the distinct pleasure and honour tae make a very important announcement. Ah'm sure all of ye are real excited aboot the 3 Stages Of Hell match that's gonnae happen between ma cousin Davey, and that prick The Paladin. Well ah can tell ye all right now, that the match has been agreed and signed by President Blehschmidt, tae take place in two weeks time! So now ye dinnae have tae pay good money for that crappy Pay Per View that the other company are puttin' on, 'cause we're gonnae give ye a hell of a match for free the very next night! Now, you's two, Disco and Prolong, get this bloody match started will ye, ah've no got all day.

L.O.S.E.R.S. vs. Insanity
UWLI Tag Team Titles Match

Campbell: Disco and Russ the fan favorites in this one.

*Donnie, having returned the mic to the ring announcer, sits back down in his seat and replaces his headset*

Donnie: What dae ye think of that then, eh? Ah've been waitin' all night tae tell everybody.

Campbell: It sure was one hell of an announcement, I'm sure everyone will be looking forward to it. Now, can we concentrate on this match please?

Donnie: Aye, nae problem, as soon as ah've had another drink.

Dave Disco Spade and Terry Russ whip John Newman into the ropes.
They hit John Newman with a double backdrop.
Terry Russ leaves the ring.
Dave Disco Spade uses a kneelift on John Newman.
Dave Disco Spade executes a chop on John Newman.
Dave Disco Spade tags out to Terry Russ.
Terry Russ and Dave Disco Spade hit John Newman with a double chop.
Terry Russ and Dave Disco Spade whip John Newman into the ropes.
They hit John Newman with a double backdrop.
Dave Disco Spade leaves the ring.
Terry Russ hits a kick to the groin on John Newman.
Terry Russ tags out to Dave Disco Spade.
Terry Russ goes for a clothesline, but John Newman ducks out of the way.
Terry Russ leaves the ring.
John Newman goes for the Swinging DDT, but Dave Disco Spade throws him off.
Dave Disco Spade tags out to Terry Russ.
Terry Russ and Dave Disco Spade whip John Newman into the ropes.
They hit John Newman with a double backdrop.
Dave Disco Spade leaves the ring.
Terry Russ whips John Newman into the ropes.
Terry Russ misses with a shoulderblock.
John Newman misses with a shoulderblock.
John Newman goes for a knee to the face, but Terry Russ blocks it.
Terry Russ runs into the ropes.
Terry Russ goes for a clothesline, but John Newman ducks out of the way.
John Newman runs into the ropes.
John Newman goes for an Asai moonsault, but Terry Russ side-steps and John Newman only hits air.
Terry Russ nails John Newman with a double arm DDT.
A portion of the crowd is booing Terry Russ.
Terry Russ uses a kick to the groin on John Newman.
Dave Disco Spade enters the ring to make it two-on-one.
Terry Russ and Dave Disco Spade whip John Newman into the ropes.
Terry Russ and Dave Disco Spade hit John Newman with a double chop.
Terry Russ and Dave Disco Spade hit John Newman with a double chop.

Donnie: Bloody hell, since when could those two buggers function this well as a team? In fact, since when could those two buggers function this well as human beings?

Campbell: The champs getting off to a great start here, some questionable tactics from a moral standpoint, but I have to admit very effective ones. It seems that they've stepped up their game in recent weeks, and are defintely not going to lose those titles easily.

Dave Disco Spade leaves the ring.
Terry Russ goes for a clothesline, but John Newman counters it with a crucifix.
Bill Thrawn counts: One, two, kickout.
John Newman takes Terry Russ down with a Samoan Drop.
A portion of the crowd is cheering John Newman.
Alex Prolong enters the ring to make it two-on-one.
Dave Disco Spade enters the ring and lays out Alex Prolong.
Dave Disco Spade hits a superkick on John Newman.
Terry Russ hits a German suplex on John Newman.
Bill Thrawn counts: One, two, kickout.
Dave Disco Spade leaves the ring.
Terry Russ whips John Newman into the ropes, but John Newman reverses it.
John Newman hits Terry Russ with a clothesline.
John Newman jumps up and down while holding his head.

Donnie: Hey pal, if yer heid's hurtin' that much, then tag yer partner.

A portion of the crowd is cheering John Newman.
John Newman tags out to Alex Prolong.

Donnie: Smart man. Wait, did ah just call Insanity smart...

Alex Prolong runs into the ropes.
Alex Prolong hits Terry Russ with a Yakuza kick.
Alex Prolong takes Terry Russ down with a chop.
Alex Prolong goes for a kick to the midsection, but Terry Russ blocks it.
Terry Russ tags out to Dave Disco Spade.
Terry Russ hits a clothesline on Alex Prolong.
Dave Disco Spade goes for a choke sleeper, but Alex Prolong blocks it.
Terry Russ leaves the ring.
Alex Prolong whips Dave Disco Spade into the ropes.
Alex Prolong uses a clothesline on Dave Disco Spade.
Alex Prolong raises his arms in victory.
A wave of boos is going through the crowd.
Alex Prolong gets a wristlock on Dave Disco Spade.
Dave Disco Spade grabs the ropes after being trapped for 7 seconds.
Alex Prolong runs into the ropes.
Alex Prolong uses a short lariat on Dave Disco Spade.
Bill Thrawn counts: One, two, in the ropes...
Alex Prolong runs into the ropes.
Alex Prolong misses with a clothesline.
Dave Disco Spade locks Alex Prolong in a sleeperhold.
Alex Prolong makes it to the ropes after holding out for 6 seconds.
Dave Disco Spade nails Alex Prolong with a leaping swinging DDT.
Dave Disco Spade uses the ropes for leverage.
Bill Thrawn counts: One, he sees it.
Bill Thrawn threatens Dave Disco Spade with disqualification.

Donnie: No a bad idea, if Spade gets himself DQ'd, then they keep the titles.

Dave Disco Spade goes for a sleeperhold, but Alex Prolong blocks it.
Alex Prolong uses a reverse DDT on Dave Disco Spade.
Alex Prolong pulls the tights.
Bill Thrawn counts: One, two, kickout.
Alex Prolong hits Dave Disco Spade with a kick to the midsection.
Alex Prolong goes for a dropkick to the knee, but Dave Disco Spade side-steps and Alex Prolong only hits air.
Terry Russ enters the ring to make it two-on-one.
John Newman enters the ring and lays out Terry Russ.
John Newman hits Dave Disco Spade with a DDT.
Alex Prolong executes a missile dropkick on Dave Disco Spade.
John Newman leaves the ring.
Alex Prolong goes for a Huracanrana, but Dave Disco Spade counters it with a powerbomb.
Bill Thrawn counts: One, two, kickout.
Dave Disco Spade has the crowd going wild.
Dave Disco Spade whips Alex Prolong into the ropes.
Alex Prolong goes for a flying lariat, but Dave Disco Spade ducks out of the way.
Dave Disco Spade whips Alex Prolong into the ropes.
Alex Prolong misses with a shoulderblock.
Alex Prolong hits a lariat on Dave Disco Spade.
Alex Prolong goes for crossface submission, but Dave Disco Spade blocks it.
Dave Disco Spade tags out to Terry Russ.
John Newman enters the ring and lays out Dave Disco Spade.
John Newman goes for a jumping DDT, but Terry Russ counters it with a backdrop.
John Newman rolls out of the ring.
Terry Russ attempts to place Alex Prolong on the turnbuckle, but Alex Prolong blocks it.
Terry Russ executes a DDT on Alex Prolong.
A portion of the crowd is cheering Terry Russ.
Terry Russ gets a boot choke on Alex Prolong.
Bill Thrawn warns Terry Russ to let go.
Bill Thrawn counts: One, two, three, four.

Campbell: The L.O.S.E.R.S. pushing the limits of the referee's patience once again. It seems that they're determined to keep those titles one way or another.

Terry Russ goes for a backbreaker, but Alex Prolong counters it with a face rake.
Alex Prolong hits a faceslam on Terry Russ.
Alex Prolong raises his arms in victory.
Alex Prolong is getting a pissed look amidst all the boos.
Alex Prolong nails Terry Russ with a European uppercut.
Alex Prolong whips Terry Russ into the ropes, but Terry Russ reverses it.
Terry Russ hits Alex Prolong with an elbow.
Alex Prolong begs off.
Terry Russ whips Alex Prolong into the ropes, but Alex Prolong reverses it.
Alex Prolong hits Terry Russ with a kick.
Alex Prolong covers Terry Russ.
Bill Thrawn counts: One, two, kickout.
Alex Prolong puts Terry Russ in the Rings Of Saturn.
Terry Russ is valiantly trying to break the hold.
Terry Russ grabs the ropes after being trapped for 10 seconds.
Alex Prolong catches Terry Russ in a wristlock.
Terry Russ breaks the hold after 5 seconds.
Terry Russ hits a chop on Alex Prolong.
Terry Russ places Alex Prolong on the turnbuckle.
Terry Russ takes Alex Prolong down with a superplex.
Terry Russ is starting to get more cheers than boos.
Terry Russ takes Alex Prolong down with a double arm DDT.
Terry Russ executes the Cannonball Drop on Alex Prolong.

Donnie: And Prolong just got squished by the angry wee midget!

Bill Thrawn counts: One, two, John Newman makes the save.

Campbell: Newman makes the save!

Alex Prolong places Terry Russ on the turnbuckle.
Alex Prolong takes Terry Russ down with a top-rope DDT.
Bill Thrawn counts: One, two, kickout.
Alex Prolong nails Terry Russ with a short lariat.
Bill Thrawn counts: One, two, in the ropes...
Alex Prolong executes a faceslam on Terry Russ.
Alex Prolong takes Terry Russ down with a flying cross body press.
Bill Thrawn counts: One, kickout.
Alex Prolong nails Terry Russ with a missile dropkick.
The crowd is wildly cheering Alex Prolong with only a few scattered boos audible.
Alex Prolong hits Terry Russ with a dropkick.
Alex Prolong executes the Final Saying on Terry Russ.

Campbell: Wow, what a superkick!

Donnie: At least he disnae have tae get his foot very high for that one.

The boos are resurfacing again.
Alex Prolong goes for the pin.
Bill Thrawn counts: One, two, thr... kickout.

Campbell: Russ kicks out, but he's not looking too steady on his feet.

Alex Prolong runs into the ropes.
Alex Prolong hits Terry Russ with an elbow.
Alex Prolong tags out to John Newman.
John Newman goes for a springboard bulldog, but Terry Russ side-steps and John Newman only hits air.
Terry Russ whips John Newman into the ropes.
John Newman nails Terry Russ with a lariat.
John Newman hits the Diamond Cutter on Terry Russ.
Bill Thrawn counts: One, two, three.
John Newman acknowledges the portion of the crowd which is cheering him.

The winners are Insanity.
Insanity are the new UWLI Tag Team Champions!!!
Time of match: 0:14:06

Donnie: Oh Christ, ah think we just went fae bad tae worse.

Campbell: Come on Donnie, these men put on a great match, and Insanity walk away the new International Tag Champs. I hate to think how Disco and Russ are going to take this loss though, those titles meant everything to them.

Donnie: Dinnae worry, ah'm sure they'll come back next week and have a giant round boulder chase Insanity down one of the corridors backstage, or somethin' daft like that.

Campbell: Hey, don't give them any ideas. As a dejected Dave and Terry walk back up the ramp, let's take a look at what's happening with Matt Steele backstage.

As Matt Steele sits in his locker room taping up his wrists, he hears a knock on the door. Looking up, he sees Sean Tylor walk into the room, or more accurately, lean on the doorframe. He starts to walk in as he asks:

You challenged Misery? I thought you were done trying to kill yourself.�

It's not about that anymore, Sean. You heard the crap spewing from his mouth. Respecting your elders only goes so far. After tonight, one way or another, my elder is gonna respect me.

You're fighting windmills...

I was always taught, a man's gotta stand for something. I'm standing for what I believe in. I'm standing for the rest of UWLI. I don't like all of them, but if they weren't giving their all and if they didn't love this business, they wouldn't be here. Now this guy who's come and gone more than the tide wants to question our dedication? That's where I draw the line. You can disagree with me, that's fine. But don't stand in my way, Sean.

Matt... I won't stop you. But keep in mind what he can do to a person. And also keep in mind that he won't respect you or any of us, no matter how long you last or even if you beat him. I don't know what happened to him while he was gone, but he hates the fans, the system, and all of us. You may beat him, but you still won't get his respect.

I...never...really thought of it that way. I've been leading with my chin like that forever, haven't I? I just keep going in thinking that if I go in and beat these guys who don't like or respect anyone they'll magically respect me. But you know...even though you're right...for one, there's no backing out now. And for another...I've got to prove it to myself. That the Unified IC is real. That the WorldWide Title was real. That I deserve these accolades. This isn't the Suicide Run. This is me wanting to make sure it wasn't in vain.

........You can beat him.

With that, Tylor walks away. Steele is left alone in the room looking unsure of himself again. As Tylor leaves the scene we can barely hear a few words pass Steele�s lips.

But, are you with me or not?

Campbell: Steele getting ready for his second match tonight against the man who's had a major attitude adjustment since he came back, Misery.

Donnie: Aye, Tylor givin' one of his famous touchy-feely pep talks, but it looks like Steele is no sure if he believes him. Quite frankly ah dinnae believe him, there's nae way Steele can defeat Misery, especially after his match earlier.

Campbell: You may be right, but Steele has a hell of a lot of fire in him, and he asked for this match specifically to prove something. It's going to be a hell of a fight. Up next though, a match which President Blehschmidt himself has ordered. Ever since the split, it seems as if "Rebel" Robert Moore has had a problem with being in International, or more specifically, with President Blehschmidt.

Donnie: Well, at first he was just a pain in the arse, attackin' police and fans in whatever country he ended up in. But then, at Devil's Night, he captured the Eliminator Title fae Hazard, apparently as a measure of revenge for what Hazard did tae Ug. But ever since then, Prez Bobbie seems tae have taken a real dislikin' tae the laddie.

Campbell: It was just last week fans, Robert Moore defending his newly won gold against Michael Motto with a special guest referee, our very own President. Moore wasn't very happy with Blehschmidt's competency as the official, and ended up shoving the President down to the mat, prompting a disqualification.

Donnie: But it was a bloody Eliminator match, when was the last time ye saw a DQ in a match like that?

Campbell: I know what you're saying, but you should never put your hands on an official, technically it can call for a disqualification. Even though it actually saved Moore from a possible defeat which would see him lose the title, he was not a happy man, and took it upon himself to commit a cardinal sin in this business fans... he attacked President Blehschmidt.

Donnie: Ah cannae blame him for bein' a wee bit pissed off, but that was possibly no a smart idea. Case in point, Moore now finds himself in a two on one match against, in ma opinion, the most physically dominatin' team of all time, the Big Uglies.

Campbell: It definitely is not a good time to be Robert Moore. Here come the Uglies now, what do you think Moore has to do to even survive this match Donnie?

Donnie: Either come doon tae the ring with some heavy artillery, or run like feck and dinnae look back.

Campbell: Well we're about to find out, any fans of Moore out there, better start hoping for a miracle.

The Big Uglies are already in the ring when The Battle Hymn of the Republic comes roaring through the speakers. Moore comes from the back charging down the ramp with an ax handle in his hands. The referee attempts to stop Moore short of the ring but gets a thunderous shot to the head for his troubles.

Moore begins screaming at the ref to mind his own business as Sam Edi exits the ring to get the jump on Moore, only to receive the butt of the ax handle to the ribs, then a shot to the back of the neck, bringing the 300 pounder to his knees. The shots begin to rain onto the fallen Edi as a berzerked Moore goes to work.

Donnie: Looks like we got our answer!

While the vicious attack on his partner ensues, Deep comes from around the ring, grabs Moore from behind, and delivers a german suplex. While Moore is temporarily stunned, Deep throws him into the ring and goes to check on his downed teammate.

Moore begins to fish around in his pocket and pulls out a short, but thick extension of chain, wraps it around his hand, but still laying prone. Deep enters back into the ring and proceeds to lift Moore by the scruff of the shirt and turns him to look into his face. Moore halls off and pops the big man right on the chin, but not dropping him. Moore takes a step back and throws another monstrous left hook that finds its mark, and still Deep stands, but wavering. Finally, Moore kicks the large man in the package, which finally brings the man to his knees.

Campbell: Good God, Moore doing anything and everything to take down the Uglies.

Moore exits the ring and goes straight for the ring announcer, who had just sat down, picks him up by the lapels of his suit and throws him into the crowd, only to take the chair. At full speed Moore runs back to Edi, who has slowly made it up to his feet, and knocks him back down with a stiff shot to the head. In the ring, Deep slowly recovering from the low blow as Moore jumps onto the apron and scales to the top rope. Deep, unaware where the Rebel has went, has now made it to his full stature, only to turn and receive a massive top rope chair shot. The boos from the fans slowly diminish to be drowned out by an "oooooohh" sound. Deep falls flat and is obviously unconscious. A large head shaped imprint a good four inches deep into the seat of the chair. The boos again resound as Moore lifts his arms in victory with the surrounding carnage that has just unfolded.

"Shitlist" by L7 explodes into the arena, as President Blehschmidt comes onto the stage. He has a microphone.

"That does it, I am tired of this crap.....consider yourself suspended until further notice.

Immediatly Moore charges up the ramp and tackles the president, sending the microphone off the side, where it lands with a resounding thud.

Moore begins peppering the President with lefts and rights, until security rushes out, and drags Moore off of the fallen Blehschmidt. The Rebel manages to lay out four of them, until sheer numbers overwhelm him, and he is drug behind the curtain screaming obscenities.

Campbell: The man's gone mad!

Donnie: Moore goes nuts on the Uglies and then starts tae slap the President aboot the place... he's definitely no firin' on all cylinders.

Campbell: I think suspension is the right answer to this, The Rebel has to go and sort himself out or he's going to end up really hurting somebody. He could even find himself out of a job altogether if he keeps this up.

Donnie: Aye, but while he's suspended, what's gonnae happen tae the Eliminator Title? Ah mean, is he still the champ, or are we gonnae have it declared vacant, or what?

Campbell: I guess we'll have to wait and find out. Fans, we go from one man having problems with the system, to another, as Misery takes on Matt Steele.

Donnie: Just before the split, Misery buggered off, again, tae be with Anna while she was havin' a baby. At Devil's Night he made an enigmatic return in the 8-Man match, clearin' the ring and then just takin' off backstage. Last week he went some way tae explainin' his actions.

Campbell: And what an explanation we received. After attacking his friend of many years George Crump, who we hear is doing just fine by the way, Misery went on to pour scorn onto just about the entire roster.

Donnie: Aye, includin' No Gimmicks Needed. We thought he was comin' tae his senses at first, but it seems he believes that he's the only worthwhile wrestler in the business.

Campbell: He is one of the all time greats in the ring, there's no doubt about that, but his new attitude leaves a lot to be desired. After hearing the insults and slander that Misery was throwing about last week, Matt Steele decided that it was his duty to try and shut him up.

Donnie: As we've already mentioned, he's got practically nae chance, but even ah have tae admire his guts for attemptin' it.

Campbell: At any rate, it should be a classic match up, they actually have similar styles, but with Misery leaning more towards the hardcore aspect, while Steele takes to the skies a little more often. Let's see if Steele can pull it off here.

Misery vs. Matt Steele

Campbell: Obviously Matt is still suffering the effects of his earlier match, he's just unable to keep a stream of offense going on Misery

Donnie: Ye need tae be at one hundred percent if yer goin' in against a man like Misery, ah dinnae know if Steele can last very long at all in his current condition.

Misery hits Matt Steele with a superkick.
Misery puts Matt Steele in a kneelock submission.
Matt Steele is struggling to reach the ropes.
Matt Steele is valiantly trying to break the hold.
Matt Steele makes it to the ropes after being trapped for 15 seconds.
Misery nails Matt Steele with a DDT.
Misery is eliciting a sizable round of boos.
Misery smirks at his opponent.
A fan at ringside badmouths Misery.
Misery goes for the rolling neck snap, but Matt Steele ducks out of the way.
Matt Steele goes for a jab, but Misery blocks it.
Misery uses an elbow to the head on Matt Steele.
Misery whips Matt Steele into the ropes.
Misery hits Matt Steele with an elbow.
Misery whips Matt Steele into the ropes.
Matt Steele executes an Asai leg lariat on Misery.
Matt Steele nails Misery with a frog splash.
Bill Thrawn counts: One, two, kickout.

Campbell: And Steele turns it around with a well timed Asai leg lariat! Let's see if he can keep up the pressure.

Matt Steele goes for a bodyslam, but Misery counters it with an elbow smash.
Misery runs into the ropes.
Matt Steele executes a spinning leg lariat on Misery.
The crowd is cheering on Matt Steele.
Matt Steele whips Misery into the ropes, but Misery reverses it.
Matt Steele and Misery get hit with a double clothesline.
Matt Steele hits a bodyslam on Misery.
Matt Steele goes for a jab, but Misery blocks it.
Misery goes for a no-look reverse tombstone, but Matt Steele counters it with a sunset flip.
Bill Thrawn counts: One, two, kickout.
Matt Steele hits Misery with a missile dropkick.
Matt Steele nails Misery with an Arabian Facebuster.
The crowd is really behind Matt Steele.
Matt Steele hits a flying sunset flip on Misery.
Bill Thrawn counts: One, two, kickout.
Matt Steele uses a jab on Misery.
Matt Steele goes for a jab, but Misery blocks it.
Misery nails Matt Steele with a release tiger suplex.
Bill Thrawn counts: One, two, kickout.

Donnie: Steele landin' awkwardly on his heid with that one, ah thought it was all over there.

Misery whips Matt Steele into the ropes.
Matt Steele nails Misery with an Asai leg lariat.
Matt Steele goes for a split legged moonsault, but Misery gets his knees up.
Misery executes a jumping DDT on Matt Steele.
A fan at ringside badmouths Misery.
Misery takes Matt Steele down with a German suplex.
Bill Thrawn counts: One, kickout.
Misery goes for a DDT, but Matt Steele counters it with a low blow.
Matt Steele whips Misery into the ropes.
Matt Steele nails Misery with a clothesline.
Matt Steele has the crowd going wild.
Matt Steele uses a Firebird Splash on Misery.
Bill Thrawn counts: One, two, kickout.
Matt Steele nails Misery with a bodyslam.
Matt Steele goes for a clothesline, but Misery counters it with a hiptoss.
Matt Steele re-reverses it.
Matt Steele executes a flying splash on Misery.
Bill Thrawn counts: One, two, kickout.

Campbell: Steele pulling out all the stops, he's got Misery on the defensive.

Matt Steele runs into the ropes.
Misery goes for an armbar submission, but Matt Steele blocks it.
Matt Steele executes a bodyslam on Misery.
Matt Steele whips Misery into the ropes, but Misery reverses it.
Misery hits Matt Steele with a kick.
Misery goes for a brain buster, but Matt Steele counters it with a slide down.
Matt Steele uses a knee to the back on Misery.
The crowd is going crazy.
Matt Steele whips Misery into the ropes.
Matt Steele hits Misery with an elbow.
Matt Steele goes for a flying flip senton, but Misery blocks it.
Misery whips Matt Steele into the ropes.
Misery goes for an armbar submission, but Matt Steele blocks it.
Matt Steele hits a bodyslam on Misery.
Matt Steele chops Misery.
Matt Steele punches Misery.
The crowd is behind Matt Steele all the way.
Misery punches Matt Steele.
Misery is eliciting a sizable round of boos.
Misery kicks Matt Steele.
Misery hits Matt Steele.
Misery sends Matt Steele into the turnbuckle.
Misery executes a kick to the midsection on Matt Steele.
Misery nails Matt Steele with a kick to the head.
Misery is eliciting a sizable round of boos.
Misery nails Matt Steele with a superkick.
Misery takes Matt Steele down with a no-look reverse tombstone.

Donnie: Oooh!

Misery hits Matt Steele with the locomotion fisherman suplexes into a fisherman's buster.

Donnie: Owww!

Misery executes the Eternal Misery on Matt Steele.

Donnie: Christ almighty, that's it, it's over.

Misery goes for the pin.
Bill Thrawn counts: One, two, three.
Misery is being booed like there is no tomorrow.

The winner is Misery.
Time of match: 0:10:04

Campbell: What an effort by Matt Steele everybody, but Misery was just too much for him on this occassion.

Donnie: See, if the silly wee bugger had taken Davey up on his offer tae join NGN a while ago, things might have been different. As it was, he put up a valiant effort, but ended up gettin' dropped on his heid several times. He'll probably be needin' a doctor after that.

Campbell: He certainly will, Misery proves his dominance against a less than full strength Steele, but a win is a win. And now for our main even fans, I'm sure Donnie is looking forward to this one.

Donnie: Abso-feckin'-lutely ah am, Davey Dee and John Wilcox take on Sean Tylor and The Paladin in an elimination tag match. This is gonnae rule so much!

Campbell: It will definitely be a great match, don't move for a second fans. The rivalry between these four men is reaching boiling point, with Wilcox being the man that took Tylor's Triple Crown away from him, and Paladin being the man that took Davey's WorldWide Title away from him.

Donnie: Aye, but it's no just aboot the titles, mate. John and Davey are determined tae end the careers of Tylor and Paladin, as is evidenced by the recent matches these guys have had. Besides the title defences, these men have all met before. Both John and Davey fell at the hands of Tylor in the first International Number One Contender Tourney. Paladin's done his damage as well, in the match that NGN fought for their suspension tae be lifted in at A Midsummer Nightmare he eliminated both Davey and John tae be the sole survivor.

Campbell: Plus, the week before Devil's Night these four men met in a regular tag match, with Tylor and Paladin walking away with the victory. No Gimmicks Needed really want the win here.

Donnie: No just the win, but 'cause some hefty damage as well. Come on guys, rip them a new one!

Campbell: Classy.

No Gimmicks Needed vs. Sean Tylor and The Paladin
Elimination Tag Team Match

Donnie: Boo yerselves, ya bunch of heathens. Does naebody recognise talent around here?

Campbell: I think it's more to do with their attitude than their skills in the ring.

Donnie: Whatever, they're still dumber than sheep.

Davey Dee whips The Paladin into the ropes, but The Paladin reverses it.
Davey Dee hits The Paladin with a shoulderblock.
Davey Dee hits The Paladin with a chop.
Davey Dee nails The Paladin with delayed vertical suplex.
Davey Dee tags out to John Wilcox.
John Wilcox throws The Paladin out of the ring.
John Wilcox goes outside.
Davey Dee comes over to make it two-on-one.
John Wilcox and Davey Dee hit The Paladin with a double DDT.
Davey Dee nails The Paladin with a dropkick.
John Wilcox uses a dragon suplex on The Paladin.
Davey Dee executes a clothesline on The Paladin.
John Wilcox takes The Paladin down with a dragon suplex.
John Wilcox runs The Paladin into the ringpost.
Quite a few boos are audible.
John Wilcox and Davey Dee hit The Paladin with a double DDT.

Campbell: NGN just tearing The Paladin apart on the outside, and Sean Tylor can't do a damn thing about it.

Donnie: That's ma boys!

Davey Dee goes for a clothesline, but The Paladin counters it with a Gorilla Press.
The Paladin whips John Wilcox into the guardrail.
The Paladin uses a standing moonsault on John Wilcox.
The Paladin whips John Wilcox into the guardrail.
The Paladin bows his head in prayer.
The Paladin is getting a good reaction from the crowd.
The Paladin goes for a choke slam, but John Wilcox blocks it.
They're brawling inside the ring area.
John Wilcox whips The Paladin into the guardrail.
They're brawling inside the ring area.

Campbell: Why the hell isn't the referee counting these guys out?

Donnie: Maybe 'cause he's busy tryin' tae keep Tylor away fae the action. Daft bastard.

John Wilcox takes The Paladin down with a suplex.
John Wilcox uses a powerslam on The Paladin.
John Wilcox shoves The Paladin into the guardrail.
Davey Dee comes over to make it two-on-one.
Sean Tylor comes over, but gets cut off.
Davey Dee goes for a dropkick, but The Paladin side-steps and Davey Dee only hits air.
The crowd is cheering on The Paladin.
The Paladin whips John Wilcox into the guardrail.
The Paladin throws John Wilcox back into the ring.
The Paladin climbs back into the ring.
The Paladin executes a DDT on John Wilcox.
The crowd is cheering on The Paladin.
The Paladin tags out to Sean Tylor.

Campbell: Finally, there's the tag!

Donnie: Makes nae difference, they're both goin' tae get smacked aboot the place.

Sean Tylor places John Wilcox on the turnbuckle.
Sean Tylor nails John Wilcox with a superplex.
Sean Tylor is getting a good reaction from the crowd.
Sean Tylor runs into the ropes.
Sean Tylor uses a rolling elbow smash on John Wilcox.
Sean Tylor executes a snap suplex on John Wilcox.
Sean Tylor whips John Wilcox into the ropes.
John Wilcox hits Sean Tylor with a spear.
John Wilcox goes for a bulldog, but Sean Tylor counters it with a back suplex.
Sean Tylor runs into the ropes.
John Wilcox hits Sean Tylor with a clothesline.
Sean Tylor falls out of the ring.
John Wilcox goes through the ropes.
John Wilcox takes Sean Tylor down with a double arm DDT.
Davey Dee comes over to make it two-on-one.
Davey Dee executes a clothesline on Sean Tylor.
John Wilcox hits a dragon suplex on Sean Tylor.
John Wilcox and Davey Dee hit Sean Tylor with a double dropkick.
John Wilcox throws Sean Tylor into the guardrail.
John Wilcox hits Sean Tylor with a double arm DDT.

Campbell: Now it's Tylor who's getting beat up on the outside. This match is absolute carnage, ladies and gentlemen.

Donnie: Ah told ye, if they can injure Paladin or Tylor, they will. This match isn't just for a paycheck, this is personal stuff.

John Wilcox climbs back into the ring.
Sean Tylor rolls back in under the bottom rope.
John Wilcox tags out to Davey Dee.
Davey Dee and John Wilcox whip Sean Tylor into the ropes.
Davey Dee and John Wilcox hit Sean Tylor with a double dropkick.
Davey Dee and John Wilcox hit Sean Tylor with a double DDT.
The Paladin enters the ring and throws John Wilcox out of the ring.
Sean Tylor and The Paladin whip Davey Dee into the ropes.
They hit Davey Dee with a double fist to the midsection.
The Paladin leaves the ring.
Sean Tylor attempts to place Davey Dee on the turnbuckle, but Davey Dee blocks it.
Sean Tylor goes for a double underhook power bomb, but Davey Dee counters it with a backdrop.
Davey Dee executes delayed vertical suplex on Sean Tylor.
A wave of boos is going through the crowd.
Davey Dee whips Sean Tylor into the ropes.
Davey Dee hits Sean Tylor with an elbow.
Davey Dee sets up Sean Tylor on the turnbuckle.
Davey Dee hits Diamond Dust on Sean Tylor.
Chuck Taylor counts: One, two, kickout.

Donnie: Damn referees, count faster!

Campbell: There was nothing wrong with that count, and you know it.

Donnie: Bugger off.

Davey Dee throws Sean Tylor into the turnbuckle, but Sean Tylor reverses it.
Sean Tylor runs into the ropes.
Sean Tylor hits a rolling elbow smash on Davey Dee.
The crowd is cheering on Sean Tylor.
Sean Tylor uses a piledriver on Davey Dee.
Sean Tylor whips Davey Dee into the ropes, but Davey Dee reverses it.
Davey Dee hits Sean Tylor with a clothesline.
Davey Dee puts Sean Tylor in a dragon sleeper.
Sean Tylor manages to grab the ropes after 5 seconds.
Davey Dee uses a bodyslam on Sean Tylor.
Davey Dee goes for a clothesline, but Sean Tylor counters it with a hiptoss.
In turn, Davey Dee counters it with a lariat.
Davey Dee goes for a dragon sleeper, but Sean Tylor blocks it.
Sean Tylor tags out to The Paladin.
The Paladin and Sean Tylor hit Davey Dee with a double powerbomb.
John Wilcox enters the ring and throws Sean Tylor out of the ring.
Davey Dee and John Wilcox whip The Paladin into the ropes.
Davey Dee and John Wilcox hit The Paladin with a double dropkick.
John Wilcox leaves the ring.
Davey Dee nails The Paladin with a double underhook power bomb.
A wave of boos is going through the crowd.
Davey Dee runs into the ropes.
Davey Dee goes for a clothesline, but The Paladin counters it with a Gorilla Press.
The Paladin is going for the cover.
Chuck Taylor counts: One, two, shoulder up.
Sean Tylor enters the ring to make it two-on-one.
John Wilcox enters the ring and throws Sean Tylor out of the ring.
John Wilcox goes for a dropkick, but The Paladin side-steps and John Wilcox only hits air.
John Wilcox leaves the ring.
The Paladin uses a belly-to-belly suplex on Davey Dee.
The Paladin hits Davey Dee with a moonsault.
Chuck Taylor counts: One, two, kickout.

Campbell: Paladin almost had Davey Dee there, he's got one of the biggest moonsaults in the business.

Donnie: Aye, unfortunately he's also got one of the smallest penises in the business.

Campbell: Come on, that's just not true.

Donnie: ... and, exactly how would you know?

Campbell: Get lost, skirt wearer.

Donnie: Four eyed git!

The Paladin goes for a bulldog, but Davey Dee throws him off.
Davey Dee hits The Paladin with an inverted atomic drop.
A wave of boos is going through the crowd.
Davey Dee goes for delayed vertical suplex, but The Paladin counters it with a backdrop.
The Paladin hits Davey Dee with a piledriver.
The crowd is really behind The Paladin.
The Paladin places Davey Dee on the turnbuckle.
The Paladin goes for a top-rope DDT, but Davey Dee blocks it.
Davey Dee throws The Paladin off the turnbuckle.
Davey Dee sets up The Paladin on the turnbuckle.

Donnie: Yes, ah love this bit!

Davey Dee executes the Breaking Character on The Paladin.
The crowd is booing Davey Dee.
Davey Dee goes for the pin.
Chuck Taylor counts: One, two, three.

The Paladin has been eliminated.

Donnie: Yeehaw, take that!

Campbell: Davey nails the Breaking Character, and Paladin is gone from this match. Tylor's in real trouble now, it's two on one!

Donnie: It's only natural, a Scot will always beat an Englishman in a fair fight.

Campbell: You know I have some Scottish blood in me, Campbell was at one time a very powerful clan.

Donnie: Oh aye, that's right, you're the bastards that tried tae slaughter all the McDonald's. Ye can give it another go if ye like, startin' with that bloody daft clown, Ronald or whatever his name is.

Campbell: I don't think so.

They lock up.
Sean Tylor whips Davey Dee into the ropes.
Sean Tylor hits Davey Dee with a dropkick.
Sean Tylor covers Davey Dee.
Chuck Taylor counts: One, two, kickout.
Sean Tylor takes Davey Dee down with a Death Valley Driver.
Sean Tylor hits a piledriver on Davey Dee.
Sean Tylor hits a dropkick on Davey Dee.
Sean Tylor takes Davey Dee down with a double underhook power bomb.
The crowd is really behind Sean Tylor.
Sean Tylor takes Davey Dee down with a knifehand chop.
Sean Tylor is going for the cover.
Chuck Taylor counts: One, two, kickout.
Sean Tylor complains about a slow count.
Sean Tylor nails Davey Dee with delayed vertical suplex.
Sean Tylor hits Davey Dee with a dropkick.
Sean Tylor points to the fans.
There are lots of chants for Sean Tylor.
Sean Tylor takes Davey Dee down with a powerbomb.
Chuck Taylor counts: One, two, shoulder up.

Campbell: Tylor fighting for all he's worth, he has to keep Davey away from the tag if he's going to have any chance of making this a one on one match.

Donnie: Bah, Davey's obviously just toyin' with Tylor, lettin' him think he's got the upper hand.

Sean Tylor attempts to place Davey Dee on the turnbuckle, but Davey Dee blocks it.
Sean Tylor goes for delayed vertical suplex, but Davey Dee counters it with a brain buster.

Donnie: Told ye. Ohhhh, Tylor's gonnae get his heid kicked in, heid kicked in, heid kicked in... Tylor's gonnae get his heid kicked in...

Campbell: Is there any possible way that you can be objective during this match?

Donnie: ...?

Campbell: I didn't think so.

A wave of boos is going through the crowd.
Davey Dee tags out to John Wilcox.
John Wilcox and Davey Dee whip Sean Tylor into the ropes.
They attempt to hit Sean Tylor with a double clothesline, but he counters it with a duck-down move.
Sean Tylor hits them with a double clothesline.
Davey Dee leaves the ring.
Sean Tylor throws John Wilcox out of the ring.
Sean Tylor rolls out under the bottom rope.
The crowd is really behind Sean Tylor.
Sean Tylor throws John Wilcox into the guardrail.
Sean Tylor whips John Wilcox into the guardrail.
They're brawling inside the ring area.
Sean Tylor shoves John Wilcox into the guardrail.
Sean Tylor uses a knifehand chop on John Wilcox.
Sean Tylor nails John Wilcox with an implant DDT.
Sean Tylor uses the Bionic Elbow on John Wilcox.
John Wilcox is busted wide open.

Campbell: Wilcox is bleeding profusely after that shot, what an elbow.

Donnie: Oh come on, only fat useless bastards use moves like that. Oh wait, ah suppose ah have tae let Tylor away with it then.

They're brawling inside the ring area.
Davey Dee comes over to make it two-on-one.
Davey Dee takes Sean Tylor down with a clothesline.
John Wilcox goes for a dragon suplex, but Sean Tylor counters it with a backward kick.
Sean Tylor reenters the ring.
John Wilcox climbs back into the ring.
Sean Tylor executes a German suplex on John Wilcox.
Chuck Taylor counts: One, two, shoulder up.
Sean Tylor uses a double underhook power bomb on John Wilcox.
The crowd is going crazy.
Sean Tylor hits John Wilcox with the Diamond Cutter.
Chuck Taylor counts: One, two, Davey Dee doesn't make it in time... three.

John Wilcox has been eliminated.

Donnie: Fuckin' bastard!

Campbell: Donnie! May I remind you that this is a family show?

Donnie: Aye, where the hell dae ye think ah learned how tae swear? Listenin' tae ma family!

Campbell: Well try to keep it down please, this is my first day on the job and I don't want fired because of you. Tylor pins the Triple Crown Champion, and that leaves him to face Davey Dee all by himself.

Donnie: Come on Davey, kick his arse!

They lock up.
Davey Dee nails Sean Tylor with a fisherman suplex.
Chuck Taylor counts: One, two, shoulder up.
Davey Dee hits a European uppercut on Sean Tylor.
Davey Dee whips Sean Tylor into the turnbuckle.
Davey Dee runs shoulder-first into the corner, but Sean Tylor lifts his knee.
Sean Tylor uses a double underhook power bomb on Davey Dee.
Sean Tylor nails Davey Dee with the Diamond Cutter.
Chuck Taylor counts: One, two, kickout.
Sean Tylor complains about a slow count.
Sean Tylor hits Davey Dee with a diving headbutt.
Sean Tylor hits Davey Dee with a powerbomb.
Chuck Taylor counts: One, two, thr... shoulder up.
Sean Tylor throws Davey Dee into the turnbuckle.
Sean Tylor runs shoulder-first into the corner, but Davey Dee lifts his knee.
Davey Dee whips Sean Tylor into the ropes.
Sean Tylor goes for a rolling elbow smash, but Davey Dee side-steps and Sean Tylor only hits air.
Davey Dee throws Sean Tylor out of the ring.
Davey Dee goes outside.
They're brawling inside the ring area.
Sean Tylor whips Davey Dee into the guardrail.
Sean Tylor hits a flying elbowdrop on Davey Dee.
Sean Tylor throws Davey Dee back into the ring.
Sean Tylor reenters the ring.
Sean Tylor covers Davey Dee.
Chuck Taylor counts: One, two, thr... kickout.
Sean Tylor gives the sign for the Sudden Impact.

Donnie: Nooo! Davey, watch oot!

Sean Tylor executes the Sudden Impact on Davey Dee.
Sean Tylor goes for the pin.
Chuck Taylor counts: One, two, three.
Davey Dee has been eliminated.
The crowd is going into a frenzy.

The Winner is Sean Tylor.
Time of Match: 0:14:04

Campbell: And Tylor pins Davey Dee to win the match!

Donnie: Son of a bitch!

Campbell: Quiet the hell down, looks like this battle isn't over yet, The Paladin's just appeared at the top of the rampway!

:::Once the bell has been rung we watch as Sean Tylor gets to his feet and makes his way over to the corner, with the referee raising his right hand in glory. Davey Dee slowly gets back to a standing position and looks at Tylor with a pissed off look in his eyes, and then turns to face the top of the ramp where The Paladin is still standing. Davey Dee climbs over the top rope and drops down to the protected floor before picking up a chair and walking up the ramp, pointing and cursing all the way. Paladin�s smirk soon goes and we film as he runs behind the curtain to the backstage area, Davey Dee running through after him seconds later.

The camera pans back around to the ringside area where Sean Tylor remains alone in the ring. The ring announcer is now seated near commentary but as he left the ring he gave Sean Tylor his microphone. The crowd quiets down:::

Tylor: Hey... hey John. I know you�re still spitting up blood from when I kicked your ass but �Next week" is here... and I think it�s time I made my announcement. When I renegotiated my contract for my return to the Unified Wrestling League, my agent talked me into asking for a stipulation that I really didn't want. That stipulation... a rematch clause. I can get a rematch for any time and anywhere, John... and since you don't seem to be too keen on giving me another shot at the belt, I'm going to make you give me one.

:::In unison the crowd begin cheering, all standing over their chairs and applauding the new announcement. Sean Tylor takes it all in and turns to every corner of the crowd and nods in appreciation of their reaction. He eventually throws the microphone back down towards the ring announcer and turns around to face the top of the ramp, when the Internati-a-tron flickers to life and we see carnage backstage. The Paladin and Davey Dee are furiously trading punches in one of the corridors, the steel chair apparently having been lost in the scrap. Davey kicks Paladin in the crotch, steps back to regain his breath, and then slams Paladin�s head into the nearest door, which happens to be No Gimmicks Needed�s locker room. As Paladin slumps down, Davey opens the door and goes inside. He appears again moments later, carrying with him a very large, very sturdy stick. The fans who saw Davey�s last interview recognise the stick as a Bo Staff, and gasp in horror, as Davey winds up and smacks The Paladin across the ribs with the Staff.:::

Davey: Paladin� I�d like you to say hello to my little friend� and my first weapon of choice for the Weapons Filled Cage fall in our 3 Stages Of Hell match. This, is a Bo Staff, much thicker and harder than a crappy old Kendo stick� and more than capable of caving your skull in. Remember this well, �cause you may well be seeing a lot of it in two weeks.

:::Davey rears back with the Staff and brings it down hard onto the head of Paladin, splitting him open just above the right eye. The Paladin is barely moving, but Dee kicks him in the ass, ribs and legs to force him along the corridor and back to the gorilla position. With one last whack in the backside from the Staff, Paladin falls through the curtain and out onto the rampway.

In shock, Sean Tylor jumps out of the ring and starts to make his way up the ramp towards his partner when the sight of Davey Dee walking out from behind the curtain with the Staff makes him think twice. Sean Tylor stops in his tracks, looks at Paladin and then at Davey Dee, and decides to turn around slowly. But unknown to him John Wilcox is stood behind blocking him, waiting with the Triple Crown Title around his waist and a Singapore Cane in hand.

With nowhere for Sean Tylor to go he decides to throw a right punch but Wilcox ducks and then smacks Tylor over the forehead with his illegal weapon. The cane splits instantly and after two more shots it�s hardly recognisable and the shots have caused Tylor to go down to one knee. At this point Davey has joined his No Gimmicks Needed partner and, as told, he has set up a chair so that it�s in its rightful position. He then puts in a few kicks to the ribs of Sean Tylor before returning to The Paladin and leaving Wilcox to attend to his own problem. To ensure Paladin doesn�t have any thoughts of getting up to help Tylor, Davey gets behind the fallen man and wraps the Staff around his throat, choking him out and rendering him unable to move.

With the fans booing, we record as Wilcox grabs Sean Tylor by the hair and lifts him up to full position one more time. He then puts a few knees into his ribs before picking him up high into the air for The Desperado and drilling his head down hard onto the chair that crumples on impact. With the carnage over, John Wilcox straps off his title and crouches down over the fallen International star and begins to grind the title into his face. The camera cuts away and we return to ringside.:::

Donnie: Ha ha ha, yes! Did ye see that, huh, did ye see it! That was beautiful!

Campbell: This is unbelievable fans, No Gimmicks Needed have just laid waste to their opponents. Tylor and Paladin won the match, but NGN win the battle... who's going to win the war?

Donnie: Ah think we all know the answer tae that one.

Campbell: We shall see, and the only way to find out fans, is to join us again next week when we will have another fantastic line up of matches that you can only see here, on UWL International Rage.

Donnie: Where else can ye see action like that? Plus, where else can ye see a Scotsman get paid tae get drunk and talk aboot stuff!

Campbell: Until next week fans, this is Colin Campbell for Donnie Dee, saying thank you for allowing us into your