| "Andy's Quest" |
| Copyright Francis Blow, 1996. |
| CHAPTER 4 |
| Papers, papers and more papers. |
| Andy seemed to spend all day filling out papers with Mrs. Budge. Filling out papers and answering questions. He told the truth to every question, no matter how hard it was. |
| "Well, Andy, that's all we need for now. The rest is up to the powers-that-be to decide what they're going to do with you." Mrs. Budge told him. |
| "You mean I might not get to stay here?" Andy was devastated. After all he had been through! |
| "I can't say. You might stay here, or at one of our other homes, or they might have to send you back to Sydney." |
| "I'll never go back! If they make me, I'll keep running away. The Loomis's want to kill me!" |
| "That won't happen. I'll make sure they never get you back. We called the hospital where you stayed, and they confirmed that there were traces of poison in your blood. Let the police take care of those two." The woman assured him. "Besides, you're likely to be here for a little while at least. So let's get you settled. Come and meet your new room mate." |
| Mrs. Budge led him to a room that held two beds and wardrobes. Another boy was there, dressed in blue pajamas. |
| "Andy, this is Barry Holbrook. Barry, meet Andy Hay." |
| They shook hands, each suspicious of the other, while Mrs. Budge opened a wardrobe and a drawer that was inside it. |
| "Here's some pajamas, Andy. Barry will show you where to get towels and whatever else you might need. Will you need underthings before morning?" |
| "I've never had any, except for the ones I got in Adelaide." |
| "Oh! That won't do. Tomorrow you'll get a whole wardrobe." |
| When she was gone, Andy considered what to do next, and turned towards Barry, "Where are the showers?" |
| A few minutes later, Andy was letting hot water wash away the grime of travelling, while Barry asked him questions from outside the shower stall. "Are you going to stand under the shower all night? Come on out and meet the other guys." |
| Andy dried himself, dressed in blue pajamas, and followed Barry into a room with a TV and books and lots of chairs. It seemed full of boys, aged from eight to fifteen, and all were dressed the same as him and Barry. Andy swapped names with all of them, and forgot the names right away. No one seemed very interested in making friends with him, so Andy sat and watched TV until it was time for bed. |
| The next three weeks followed the same routine: Get up at seven, dress and make the bed; breakfast, brush teeth; take turns helping clean the kitchen, toilets and bathroom; school, homework, games, dinner, TV and bed. During Andy's second week in the home, however, he was checked by a doctor, who said Andy was undersized because of a poor diet. Andy even went to a dentist. Three fillings went in, and two teeth were pulled out, though it was not as painful as the other boys led Andy to expect. |
| Andy got a haircut. He wore brand new clothes, with enough so he could change every day. He owned his own toothbrush. |
| Some of the other boys did become his friends, and Andy loved the games they played together. On Thursdays, the school played football against another school team. It took a while for Andy to learn the rules of the game, and most of the other boys were lots bigger than him, but he enjoyed playing on his team; Andy felt he belonged. |
| The school work was very difficult. Especially maths and science. Andy knew he had to work really hard at his studies, if he wanted to get good marks, so he could get a good job. One of the older boys, Mark, helped Andy understand the more difficult bits. |
| Sometime during his third week at the home, a police detective, named Osborne, interviewed Andy in the office. |
| "Most of the story you gave has checked out, Andrew. We've arrested the Loomis's on several charges that New South Wales welfare authorities have leveled against them. And that man you called Jason? We found him after he was admitted to hospital, beaten and severely injured. What has been done to him was pretty bad, and he's permanently scarred. Can you tell me anything more about the man you gave Jason's wallet to, other than his name is David and that he's a Moslem?" |
| Andy thought back. "I'm not sure, but I think his last name was something like Mouse or Moose. He had lots of uncles. That's all I remember. Honest, Mr. Osborne." |
| "That helps, son. I know you have been honest with everyone since you came here. I also know you stole and lied before you came. Tell me about why you changed." |
| "I can show you if you come to my room." Andy offered. |
| "This is what I decided I had to do." Andy explained, giving the detective his list of goals. |
| "I'm impressed, Andrew. Stick to this and you will be happy. I've never met a boy like you. I've got no sons of my own, though I've got a grown up daughter and another in high school. I wish they could set and keep goals like this. With your life laid out this way, you'll succeed no matter what might go wrong." |
| Andy was pleased by the policeman's praise, and they shook hands when Detective Osborne left. Andy went back to his classes. |
| There were other people who came to see Andy after that. Many of them were from the newspapers and TV, and all wanted to hear his story. A lady TV person told Andy something different to the others, "Did you know that very many people have written to the child welfare authorities and asked to adopt or foster you? Would you like to become part of a family again?" |
| Andy stared at her for a long moment before answering. "I've never been part of a family. I don't want to be part of a family. I've seen what families are like on TV shows and on the news. They're always screaming at each other, lying to each other and it looks rotten. That's not for me. I just want to finish school in a couple of years, get a job, buy a small house and live by myself and have my friends for visits." |
| "But families aren't really like that. Families are warm and loving and help each other." The lady told him. |
| "If that's so, then why don't all the soapies show that's how it is? I know what warm is. It's not having to sleep next to a flea-bag of a dog so I don't freeze to death. But what's love?" |
| The interviewer could not think of an answer before Andy went on. "I know what love is. The TV tells me that too. That's when people have sex. Then they fight and break up, or get AIDS, and they go and have sex with someone else so they get infected. Dogs do that too. I'm not a dog. I don't believe in families and I don't believe in love." |
| "Do you believe in God?" |
| "People tell me that God is love. I just said I don't believe in love. Priests must be pretty good at lying to people, to make so many people believe such things. And you can't even agree on what this God thing is really all about." |
| The lady turned away from Andy towards the camera man, "I think we've got all the useful information we need... Thank you for your frank comments, Andy, it's been very interesting." |
| Andy's interview started a lot of trouble. Nasty letters and phone calls were sent to the home where he was staying. Religious people wanted to talk to Andy to show him how their particular religion was the "One and Only True Way to Happiness." |
| Andy refused to talk to anybody else after that interview, except for the welfare people. Some of the other boys cheered when they watched the interview on TV. None of the grown-ups said he was wrong, so Andy thought he must have been right. |
| It took months before a court decision was made. They would send Andy back to Sydney, to a boys home there. Andy was upset and angry with the decision. He would lose all his new friends and he would be away from the place where he planned to live. Some of the boys in the home promised to keep in touch. |
| Andy was sent south to the new home by bus, accompanied by a woman who came all the way from Sydney to get him. Andy was so upset, he would not talk to her when she asked him questions. It was a long and boring trip that took all night. It was not until the two of them were in a taxi that the woman turned to Andy and said, "I know one of your main aims in life is to make friends. There is one rule for making and keeping friends that's more important than anything else." |
| Andy waited for her to continue, though he said nothing. |
| "Treat other people the way you want them to treat you." She told him, "And that means everybody. If your friends see you treating someone else bad, then they'll wonder if that's how you'll treat them. If they hear you gossiping or saying nasty things about others, your friends will think that's how you talk about them when their backs are turned. Always treat everybody the way you want to be treated yourself." |
| At first, Andy was angry at her, because he thought she was just telling him off. Then he thought about how he had treated her all the way from Brisbane. He had been rude to her, had ignored her and pushed her away when she tried to help him sleep. He thought some more about her, and how she had never done anything against him. All the woman had done was try to make the trip easier for him. |
| "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been angry with you. It's not your fault they made me come back here." |
| "Why don't you want to be here, Andy?" |
| "Nothing good has ever happened to me here. Only bad things. I have friends in Brisbane, and none here." |
| "You can make new friends. I'll be your friend, if you'll let me." |
| "Even after I was rude to you?" |
| "Even then. I read about how you lived before, and how you were so well liked in the Brisbane home that even the police put in a good word about you. I know you're not really rotten, and that your behaviour last night was because you were so upset at leaving your friends behind." She smiled at him and hugged his shoulders. "Tell you what, Andy. As soon as you're settled in, I'll help you write letters to your friends. How does that sound?" |
| "It sounds great. Thanks, Mrs..." Andy paused, embarrassed. "I'm sorry, I forgot your name." |
| "I'm Mary Wileman, and I'm a nurse at the home." |
| "A nurse? Why did they send a nurse?" |
| "I came because I have a brother in Brisbane, whom I wanted to visit anyway. So when I read about you, and then saw your interview, I asked to be the one assigned to you." |
| "Oh. Thanks." |
| There was very little paperwork to do when they got to the home, as most of the details were Faxed from Brisbane. Andy was shown to his room by Mrs. Wileman. It was a lot like the one he shared in Brisbane, except there were four beds. The other boys who lived in the home were in school, and Andy was allowed the rest of the day off to find his way around the unrestricted areas. |
| At lunch time, Andy joined the boys in the cafeteria. Some of the other kids stared at Andy, though many ignored him. Andy sat by himself in a corner, eating his sandwiches, until the boys had to go back to their classes. |
| There was a good playground, with a slippery dip and a climbing fort, and there was even a big vegetable garden, though most of the plants had been dug up. The school was out at a quarter past three, and the yard was filled with boys running to their rooms. Andy joined the rush, so he could meet his new room mates. |
| "Who're you?" A boy of fifteen demanded, when Andy walked into the room. |
| "I'm Andy Hay. I was sent here. Who are you?" |
| "I'm called Snake. I kinda run things around here, if you get my meaning." The older boy winked at Andy. "How much money do you have?" |
| "Nothing. It's all been put away." |
| "It'll cost you to stay in my room. A dollar a day." |
| "Why?" Andy started to worry. Why was Snake doing this? |
| "Like I said, I'm in charge, and I've got expenses." |
| "No." Andy's fear turned to anger. |
| "What do you mean by that?" Snake snarled, and moved towards Andy, fists clenching. |
| Andy was scared. Snake was a lot bigger than him. On the other hand, he had nothing important to lose by defending himself, and a teenager could not hit as hard as an adult. |
| "You're not getting any of my money. You might be stronger than me, but I bet you're chicken. I bet you've never had a fight with anyone your own size!" |
| Snake swore nastily as he grabbed Andy's shirt front. "You're going to swallow your own teeth! I'll teach you!" |
| Snake pulled his fist back slowly, to punch Andy, an ugly smile on the older boy's lips. Andy realised that he had nothing more to loose, no matter what he did. Before the slow moving fist landed on him, Andy lifted his knee hard and fast into Snake's groin. That was the end of the fight. |
| Snake doubled over, eyes bulging and mouth open, gasping with pain. The two boys who had watched the whole thing, stared first at Snake, then at Andy. No one spoke, even when tears started running down Snakes cheeks. |
| Made brave by his victory over the bully, Andy went to the wardrobe that Snake had opened. Andy looked through the clothes and junk there. |
| "Garbage." Andy's heart started beating faster, as another bout of fear hit him. Maybe he was going too far. "None of this is worth taking. You can keep it." |
| Andy had to walk past Snake to get to his bunk. He expected Snake to hit him. Instead Snake threatened to "Get him some day". Andy sat on his bunk because his knees felt weak. He looked from Snake to the other boys, who were about twelve or thirteen. After a moment to swallow his fright, Andy forced himself to ask them their names. |
| The older of the two was Terry Buckle, and the last boy was Mark Longshear. |
| "How did you learn to do that?" Terry managed to ask. |
| "Do what? You mean Snake, over here? That's nothing. He's as slow and weak as a worm." Andy was feeling better again, almost excited. "That's a much better name for him. Hey, Worm! How do you like your new name? Worm! Yeah, I really think it suits you." |
| "Shut up, runt, or I'll bash your head in!" |
| "When? And with whose army? You're yellow, Worm, and all noise, just because you're bigger. If you're so tough, let's see you try and hit me again!" |
| Andy jumped off the bed and rushed at Snake, hoping to scare the bigger boy. He did not see the fold in the carpet and almost tripped; Andy lifted his foot up away from the ridge of carpet to catch his balance. Snake thought Andy was going to kick him again, so he threw his arms in front of his injured groin. |
| Unfortunately for Snake, Andy reached out for support and his fingers poked Snake's eye. |
| In the next half second, Snake and Andy became entangled. It ended with Andy falling on top of Snake, and Snake came close to winning, because he put a bear hug on Andy. |
| Andy panicked. His arms were pinned, but he had his teeth, and he bit through Snake's sweater and into the boy's chest. Snake screamed in pain. |
| The door slammed open. |
| "What the devil is all this noise!" Mr. Ribson was in the room, glaring at the two boys on the floor. "You two! Come with me!" |
| Andy and Snake followed Mr. Ribson to his office. |
| "I do not tolerate fighting in this establishment. I don't care who started it. The incident is going on both your records. Why were you fighting? You first, Mr. Hay." |
| "He wanted my money. Snake said I had to pay him a dollar a day to stay in the room. When he tried to punch me I defended myself." |
| "That's a lie!" Snake exclaimed. "He was going through my things and kicked me from behind, then he tripped me and bit me when I tried to push him off!" |
| Mr. Ribson studied them both for a long moment. "I'm going to separate you. Also, you both loose TV privileges for two weeks, and there will be extra duties to fill your new free time. Mr. Hay, go and collect your possessions and come back here." |
| Andy went back to the room and packed his bags once more, explaining to Terry and Mark what happened. |
| "Wait till I tell everyone what you did to Snake!" Terry promised excitedly. "I bet no one believes it." |
| "I'll tell them too." Mark said. |
| Half an hour later, Andy was in a new room, facing three different boys. They were all about thirteen, like Andy, though they were naturally bigger than Andy. |
| "You're the guy who wiped the floor with Snake?" One of them asked. |
| "He's not so tough. He's a wimp." Andy had had enough of trouble. His jaw tightened. "I'm not going to have to fight anyone here now, am I?" |
| "Naw. I always knew Snake was chicken. I'm Peter, that's Len and Roger. That's your bed. It'll need new sheets, 'cos Kerry used it. He was moved to Snake's room, since he's fifteen, like Snake." |
| By dinner, all the boys in the home had heard various versions of Andy's fight with Snake. Andy wondered how some of the stories managed to be so different from what really happened. In most of them, Andy came out as a hero who beat Snake to a pulp, though some of the stories were closer to the truth. Lots of the boys, the younger ones especially, wanted to meet Andy. Even in the showers, kids kept asking Andy where he learned to fight. Andy did not know what to say, so most of the time he only shrugged his shoulders or said he had "been around". |
| Life in the new home quietened down after that, with plenty of school and homework, as well as chores cleaning up around the buildings and grounds, or helping in the kitchen. Each day became much like any other, with slow, usually boring weekends. Some boys were allowed home visits, while others were taken to outside sports. Those who stayed in the home, like Andy, played games like football, read, watched TV, wrote letters or played cards. |
| There was a reasonable library in the home, with plenty of magazines, story books and study books. Andy liked to spend an hour or two reading about expensive cars and far away places. He especially enjoyed reading about Queensland, the place he knew he would one day call home. |
| Occasionally, Andy wrote letters to some of the friends he made in Queensland; he did not ask Mrs. Wileman for help, though she often spoke to him. He only ever got two replies to his letters. One from Barry and one from Mark, the older boy who had helped Andy with his school work. Nothing newsworthy was happening, so he stopped writing. |
| Once a week, every Sunday morning, the boys all had to go to church. It was an Uniting Church and most of the kids found it boring. Like Andy, few of the boys in the home believed in God. |
| Would a God make things so tough on people? If so, why? There was nothing after you died, and only fools believed otherwise. Andy knew that, as did all the other smart kids. Grown-ups only preached obedience to God to scare you into doing what you're told! |
| Still, there were lots of nice things that came out of religion. Most of the really kind and helpful people believed in God. That was probably because they had been force into obedience more than other people. It was not because they were dumb, because most of them were pretty smart, really. |
| God was a problem that confused Andy sometimes, though he did not think about that sort of stuff much. Most things were not worth thinking a lot about. Even Andy's goals for his life were put aside, to be looked at on rarer and rarer occasions. |
| Andy claimed part of the vegetable garden as his own, and learned how to prepare it for spring. The gardener, Old Jim, showed Andy and a few other boys what to do to make sure the seeds were given the best chance to grow up healthy. One afternoon, Old Jim sat the gardening boys around him, while he sat on an upside down bucket. |
| "Before you do anything else, you get the seeds from the best plants you can. Don't worry what they look like, because the most shriveled, tiny seed from a good plant, will give a better result than the fattest, best looking seed from a bad plant. Then you put those special seeds aside in a dark place until you're ready for planting. You gotta prepare the soil. Dig it up, let the air in, so moisture will get nice and deep. Get rid of big rocks that'll get in the way of the roots. Then you fertilize the ground, and you make sure you use good old cow manure. None of that synthetic junk! Dig the fertilizer in and let it break down, so's it's ready for the young plants when they sprout. Natural fertilizer from plant eaters is the best because it recycles all the goodness that was in the ground in the first place, and by leaving it for a few months, it won't burn the tender, baby roots. The first part of a plant's life is the most important. If you start it right it will have a better chance of surviving to give a good crop. Like you boys. You're starting in pretty bad conditions. Some of you are stunted, like Andy here. Most of you are going to grow up twisted and have poor fruit. But, even if a plant starts out bad, if it's a good seed from a strong plant, it can push its roots down through any rock, and drag out the water and nourishment it needs. Are you boys good seeds? Can you make yourselves strong? And I don't mean with muscles! Are you just going to exist from day to day, never knowing if the rain will come? Or will you reach out and grab anything and everything that will make you better able to produce a better fruit?" |
| After Old Jim left them, the boys laughed at him behind his back, including Andy. |
| The old man's words stayed with Andy all weekend, though, and bothered him. It was not until Sunday service that it started to mean something, because of what the minister read in his sermon. "If you have faith as small as a grain of mustard seed you can say to this mountain: move! And it will move! And nothing will be impossible to you!" |
| After church, Andy went to the gardening books in the library and found a picture of a mustard seed. It was really tiny. |
| If you had faith this small, Andy thought, looking at the picture of the little dot, you can move a mountain? Yeah, sure. |
| Nothing will be impossible to you. |
| That idea stuck in Andy's mind, along with Old Jim's asking if he was going to reach out and grab anything that would make him better. Andy started to think about where he was and what he was doing. He began to worry. A lot of the boys from the home had ended up in prison, some had normal lives, and maybe one or two were successful. After dinner, Andy went to see Mr. Ribson. He knocked on the door to Mr. Ribson's apartment, despite his nervousness and doubts. |
| "Come in... Ah! Young Mr. Hay. How can I help you, Andy?" |
| "I don't want to be like the other boys here, sir. I don't want to be a junkie, or go to goal like my parents, and I don't want to end up on the dole." Andy burst out. |
| "I'm glad to hear you say that, Andy. Now tell me, what do you want to do?" Mr. Ribson indicated a chair for Andy to take. |
| "I want people to like me. What's wrong with wanting a house and a garden, or to want someplace that's warm?" |
| "Nothing. What's stopping you from having that?" Mr. Ribson leaned back in his chair, fingers steepled together. |
| "This place! How can I get those things here?" |
| "I see... Hmm. Look, Andy. If you lived in a normal family, you would have to go to school every day. There'd be chores to do, maybe brothers and sisters to play and fight with and friends. Can you tell me what's different to the way you live here?" |
| Andy could not answer for a long moment. "They love each other?" |
| "Yes. What else? This is not a trick question. What's the real difference?" |
| "I don't know." |
| "Think about it. You're not stupid. I've seen how you're improving with your school work. What's missing from here, that you think is important?" |
| Andy sat before the man's probing gaze, then turned to stare at the well kept photos and certificates on the wall behind Mr. Ribson. Why was he asking these questions, he didn't really care, did he? Andy wondered to himself, If I died tomorrow who would care about me? |
| "Caring." Andy whispered. |
| "What was that you said, Andy?" Mr. Ribson leaned foreward again, hands on his knees. |
| "There's no caring here?" Andy raised his voice, though it still came out as a question. |
| "Who says there's no caring? You or the boys? Have you ever thought why I and the rest of the staff would have such low paying, thankless jobs here?" |
| Andy was surprised. He had never thought about that at all. Were the grown-ups who worked in the home low paid? Then why were they there? They did not act like they cared about the boys. They were always so strict. |
| "I don't know." Andy replied. |
| "I care about every boy who has come to us. It's very hard for me to see how often I have failed to help you boys. I'm not the best administrator there ever was but I know I'm the best available right now. If I didn't, I wouldn't have tried so hard to get here. It's not an easy job, Andy." Mr. Ribson leaned closer towards Andy, his face beaming. "Most of the boys I get are so badly hurt inside that nothing I can do will make it better. But sometimes a boy wants the hurt to go away, and that's all I need. Unless the boy has decided he wants my help, he won't take it. All the staff here have their hands out, ready to jump for any boy who asks for help. All you have to do is ask us. It's so easy, but most boys can't or won't do it. The care is there! Open your eyes and ears and there it is! Don't worry how grumpy we appear sometimes, or how strict we are with punishment. If you want to honestly make yourself better, you will find us falling over ourselves to help you!" |
