| Simon: |
That's impossible Cid! I'm telling you, this IS Captain N! |
| Cid: |
And what makes you so sure of that? Huh? All we know
is, he looks a little bit like him, he has his gear, and a wildly improbable
story. |
| Simon: |
[Trips, Cid yanks tray away just in time, banging it into the wall,
spilling contents all over again. Bends to help pick them up again.]
Yeah, but what about Duke? If it was an impostor, wouldn't Duke,
like, I dunno, resist or something? |
| Cid: |
How do we know it's really Duke? Not like we have his thumbprint
on file or something.... |
| Simon: |
But...Well, I just know it's Kevinicus. I would know if it
was an impostor. Trust me. Now can we drop it? |
| Cid: |
Just trust you? Some guy, who may or MAY NOT be the dead
GameMaster returned from the grave, comes waltzing in with a dog that claims
to be Duke and some gear he claims to be authentic, and you're ready to
just hand over protection of the princess to him on a HUNCH? Simon,
we're dealing with a very dangerous... |
Simon:
 |
[Jacks Cid up against the wall, upsetting the tray yet again.]
Now you listen to me, you hopeless gutless little worm of a man!
Kevinicus has saved my skin more times than you've screwed up one of our
formerly fine gizmos with your special little improvements.
Now I don't know who the hades you think you are, but you have NO PLACE
spitting on The GameMaster. He has more guts than you have screws,
you bucktoothed freak! [Sets Cid down] |
| Cid: |
[Straightens collar.] Unless he's an impostor from the other
side, one who killed your Kevinicus. |
| Simon: |
He's not. [Exits, scattering the screws as he leaves.] |
| Cid: |
[Aside] Well, we see where his loyalty lies. Excellent.... |
| Chun-Li: |
Why is it every time we get some privacy, some..."distraction"
has to show up and ruin it all. |
| Warlord S: |
I'll only be a moment m'love. [Opens door, shouts something
unintelligible, but obviously angry.] |
| Chun-Li: |
[Stretches back seductively.] Now who was that? |
| Warlord S: |
Just the outworlder's mutt. He shouldn't be bothering us
for a while. |
| Chun-Li: |
I told you he was going to be trouble. |
| Warlord S: |
[Moves to sit next to her.] Only a temporary distraction.
And now he's gone. Now where were we? [Hears a subtle scratching
on the door, freezes in place, charges Super Scope] |
| Chun-Li: |
Not this time, monkey-man. I'll handle it. [grins goofily]
Kioken! Kioken! [giggles] |
| Warlord S: |
[Sits on the throne, as if to test the fit] Don't be long.... |
| Chun-Li: |
[Glances back over her shoulder and arches one eyebrow] Oh,
I won't. [Giggles, opens door, throws out a giant Fireball]
KAI-YO-KEN!!![Duke dodges between her legs and grabs
the hem of her dress pulling her back to land unceremoniously on her butt.
Warlord S laughs in spite of himself.] NOT FUNNY! [sighs, gets
up with a split-kick] C'mon boy, lets' see what's bothering you.
[Exeunt.] |
| Simon: |
[Mutters.] Well, this is cozy. |
| Chun-Li: |
[Pulls her leg out from behind her neck.] What's that?
[Duke barks, wriggles free, starts throwing Mog around like a rag doll.] |
| Mog: |
Aaaaa! Watch the hair, watch the hair!!! |
| Cid: |
(Groan) Not again...I have GOT to get a toolbox...[starts
collecting screws, this time placing them in his pockets.] |
| Simon: |
[Rights himself, pulls Mog roughly out of Duke's jaws.] Right.
What's all the commotion? |
| Mog: |
The Princess! She's been... |
| Simon: |
If you say the princess has been kidnapped, so help me, I'll... |
| Warlord S: |
Simon! Let the moogle speak. |
| Mog: |
Well...[looks at Simon]...she was...well, she's just a bit mislaiden,
you see... |
| Cyan: |
[Enters] Predictably enough, the Princess has been kidnapped.
Again. And this time, [glares meaningfully at The Warlord,] I'm
going to lead the rescue effort. Perhaps THIS time we'll be a bit
more successful. |
| Captain N: |
[Enters] I go as well. |
| Warlord S: |
YOU!?! For all WE know, YOU're the one who kidnapped
her in the first place!!! |
| Captain N: |
[Extremely sarcastically] Why yes, she's right here in my coat
pocket... |
| Simon: |
Captain N. has successfully executed hundreds, maybe thousands
of Princess rescues. And OUR Lana never suffered a fatal wound in
the CROSSFIRE! |
| Chun-Li |
BOYS! ENOUGH!!! Captain N, you and Cyan can
go in search of the princess. Warlord S, you and I will return to
the throneroom and..."complete our conference." The rest of you,
return to your posts, we mustn't alert the populous. Now, Samus,
you...Gul'dan it, first Mega Man, then Camille, and now Samus? What's
going on here? |
| Captain N: |
Well, it kinda looked like this guy [points at a sketch of Blanka]...but
then, it kinda looked like this guy too [points to a sketch of the second
little pig]...oh, this is hopeless. |
| Cyan: |
Maybe not. I think I know where this one's headed.
[Walks over to a chest at the foot of his bed, rifles through more files
than could possibly fit, finally finds one to his liking.] Ha!
I thought as much. We haven't heard from this guy since Link disappeared... |
| Captain N: |
Waiwaiwaihangonasecond, I know what you're thinking, it's not [Cyan
hands him a sketch of GannonDorf] Gannon? |
| Cyan: |
Changed a little, no? |
| Captain N: |
This is the same guy? I mean, this is definitely the guy
who took Camille, but... |
| Cyan: |
Excellent. The warp to Hyrule is this way. [exits.] |
| Captain N: |
Cyan! Wait!!! Ohhh... Duke, you stay here and keep
an eye on things. [exits] |
| Gannon: |
You should not have come, Domachien! |
| Cyan: |
And you would have been better off leaving our princess free.
Really, what is it with you guys and kidnapping princesses? |
| Captain N: |
Cyan! It won't open! |
| Cyan: |
Use something bigger! [Gannon rushes Captain N] DISPATCH!
[Charges Gannon, toppling him] |
| Gannon: |
Well done, but can you break through my secret Shadow Technique?
[goes invisible] |
| Captain N: |
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! [Blasts lock, it statics
and falls off.] Whoa, cool! |
| Cyan: |
Great. Duck kid! [Chants to himself, Captain N takes
cover behind a lamp, Gannon's shadow stands confidently in place]
Tritoch!!! [Fireballs strike the lamps, Gannon is struck by lightning
and trapped in a column of ice, no longer invisible] |
| Captain N: |
Good call. |
| Cyan: |
Yeah, after such a time of playing that magic arrow game, you kinda
get bored.... It won't hold him for long. Let's just get her
and go! |
| Captain N: |
Right. [Opens case.] Hey, it's empty! [Gannon's
fire bats start to thaw him out. |
| Cyan: |
Hoo boy. Alright, when I say three, jump. [starts chanting]
ONE...[Gannon frees his staff arm]...TWO...[Gannon starts
to twirl the staff, summoning more fire bats]...THREE!!! [Captain
N hits the A button and leaps to the ceiling, Cyan hops over a nearby bat
and puts on a Cherub Down (float ring)] QUAKE! {The
pyramid starts shaking itself apart, dropping the perimeter floor tiles
and knocking a semifrozen Gannon onto his back. Cyan and Captain
N. jump down through the new hole in the floor just as the structure begins
to fail.] |
| Warlord S: |
I do not recall asking you to gaze out the window, tinkerer.
I am entirely capable of doing so myself. |
| Cid: |
[turns] Yes, and without me your precious weaponry would be useless.
Hold your tongue. |
| Warlord S: |
[scoops up Super Scope] Care to test that theory? [charges
it] |
| Cid: |
Try me. [Warlord S fires. The shot is deflected and
sucked into the Super Warp, a explosion rocks the room and a hubcap rolls
out of the Warp and into the room, stopping at Warlord S's feet.
Cid doesn't even flinch.] |
| Warlord S: |
M..mm...my jeep! YOU BLEW UP MY JEEP! |
| Cid: |
[Snatches Blaster away, tweaks it.] I did no such thing.
You blew up your own smoldering jeep. Now your pad [slaps it into
the warlord's waiting palm] is fully functional, but SloMo's been disabled.
This doubles your charge, plus it eliminates the trouble you've been having
with instant restarts. [Warlord S grumbles, Cid returns the blaster]
This is a bit more accurate, and I managed to almost halve the reload time.
Now be careful with this! Someone might get hurt! |
| Warlord S: |
[Holds blaster to Cid's head] That's the plan, worm.
[Pulls the trigger, no effect] |
| Cid: |
[Rolls eyes] I said I HALVED the reload time, not eliminated.
Now if you keep this up I'm gonna hafta take it away from you. Now
it doesn't recharge as fast as Captain N's. In truth, I have no idea
how he managed to miniaturize an entire recharge cell... |
| Warlord S: |
I didn't ask you for excuses, little man, I asked you for results.
Now you have about 76 hours to figure it out, before I... |
| Cyan: |
[Enters] Warlord! Cid! There you are. Have
either one of you seen Captain N? |
| Warlord S: |
[Sarcastic] Well, he was with you.... |
| Cyan: |
We...got separated. |
| Captain N: |
[Enters on Chocobo, behind an unanimated Cammy. He ducks
at the threshold, pulling Cammy's cell with him, dismounts, and carries
her under one arm, setting her 2-dimensional form against the wall.
Chun-Li trails, wringing her hands and generally being useless, while Duke
does his best to be underfoot] Somebody give me a hand, will ya? |
| Cid: |
[Brushes past Warlord S. and Cyan] One side one side!
[examines her breathing and idling, but otherwise motionless form.] |
| Warlord S: |
She's dead. She's dead, and Captain N. killed her.
You all know what THAT means. |
| Cid: |
Oh stop being so melodramatic. [turns to Captain N.]
Somebody used a Ripper on her. From the looks of things, someone
was trying to rip out her AI, and replace it with a slightly altered version... |
| Chun-Li: |
Again. |
| Cid: |
[glares] Yes, yes, AGAIN. She does seem rather prone
to this sort of thing... |
| Simon: |
[Enters] You should have seen how often Lana got kidnapped.
Or I got amnesia, or Kid Icarus enchanted the wrong guy, or... |
| Cid: |
REGARDLESS. Her AI was removed, you just have to find out
where it is, and bring it here. |
| Warlord S: |
[rather too hopefully] But, wouldn't they have just deleted
it? [Chun-Li elbows him] |
| Cid: |
No, no, AIs are frightfully difficult to catch. I believe I have...[rummages
through a box, finds a pear-shaped gizmo] AHA! Yes, this ought to
help you catch it. [tosses it to Captain N.] Press the red
button on the top when you're within 5 feet of it, that'll trap it in the
containment chambre. Once you've caught it, place this needle here
at the base of the skull, and press the blue button on the bottom.
That returns the AI to the cell, and she'll return to the third dimension.
[notices Cyan making for the door] Hey! Where are you off to? |
| Cyan: |
I have a lead to trace. [Draws the Sky Render] And
a rematch to attend. |
| Gannon: |
[turns] How long have you been there. |
| Cyan: |
Long enough. Where's the AI? |
| Gannon: |
Direct, aren't you? Well, the knowledge will avail
you little where you're headed. Her AI is under lock and key in Mother
Brain's chamber. Fat lot of good It'll do YOU! [throws
staff, slices cleanly through Cyan's cloak of invisibility and with it
his stomach. He falls to his knees and begins to fade blue.]
Ha. Stealth. Against me. I INVENTED stealth, you little
spoon. Well, you've paid for your insolence. |
| Cyan: |
A...and...n-n-now...y-you...p-p-pay fohor...yours....[An aura of
magic surrounds him, he stumbles to his feet.] M-M-MERTON!!!
[Gannon freezes for an instant and turns back, helpless before the storm
of fire that rips into him, leaving only fire in its wake. Cyan and
Gannon are reduced to faint blue blobs that quickly fade away.] |
| Strago Magus: |
[enters from the door of a burning building, turns to appraise
the devastation.] Oh, this is just...[raises his arms] FLAMES
BE GONE!!! |