Caption Comments: This was one of the first, and still favorite, caption that I ever saw from Hippie. If you study it, you'll notice that the "i" in front of Pooh's paw almost gives the illusion of an extended middle finger. This caption is a masterpiece that should be hanging in the Louvre if those cheese-eatin', berret-wearin', French snobs really understood humor which they don't since they fawn over Jerry Lewis, who is still playing a kid even though he's in his 70's. HEY! Don't touch my keg, Goddamnit! *hic*
Capper Comments: Hippie is one of the great captioneers that makes wasting hours each weekend at Caption This! worthwhile. The man has a biting edge to his humor.
Hippie:
It's so embarrassing for everyone when Pooh gets
drunk and carries the keg around yelling "Tiggers
have ruined the neighborhood".
Caption Comments: This is what Hippie is all about- mocking the poor and unfortunate. He MUST be stopped.
Capper Comments: Tha Hipsta makes me giddy. I dig everything: his style, his panache, his taste in fine Corinthian leather... Hippie is a God amongst mortals.
And he paid me five bucks to say so.
Hippie:
That's right, Timmy, you ride the smaller bus because it's special, like you.
Caption Comments: Short, sweet, funny as hell.
Capper Comments: Hippie's another capper who I really don't get to cap with. Damn body's sleep requirements. One of CT's Captioneer Legends, we just know Hip's funny. And he never fails to amuse whomever may be capping with him.
Hippie:
This is the only way to race fish, baby...
Caption Comments: Hippie, sees things I don't.
Then when he brings them to my attention....
There it was all along.
Yep that's Larry Fine's haircut.
Capper Comments: Hippie was one of the first capper's I met at
CT and the first I ever had contact with via E-Mail
He made me laugh all night long every night I was at CT. He introduced
me to GeoCities (nobody's perfect) and got me started in the caption collection
business along with Jazzsoda.
Thanks Pal
Hippie:
Yes the dinner was fabulous, but now I just want to relax and.....My God, You cut your hair like Larry Fine
Caption Comments: Hip's done funnier caps than this one, but it still hits me as a perfect example of his capping style. Hip makes you laugh about the absurdity inherent in so many things we take for granted and fail to examine on a daily basis.
Capper Comments: Hippie was the first capper I had any kind of
contact with, and my early nights of capping were basically hour upon hour
of trying to top his hilarious caps, which stood out in the gallery like
diamond rings in a bowl of Cap'n Crunch. It was never good enough to type
"Who Farted?" under a screengrab like most of the other early cappers did,
because I always knew Hip was going to come back with something amazing.
And I think this constant raising of the bar way back when set the standard
for what capping is now. This is most obvious when you look at a capping
timeslot group that doesn't have a Hippie there to raise the stakes. It's
just not the same.
Hip is, quite simply, the funniest person I've ever met.
He's always thinking, which probably screws him up sometimes in real life
but hey, we reap the benefit on the CT and on his site. Every aspect of
his life, from TV to movies to childhood toys and historical figures is
constantly re-examined and mined for comedic gold, resulting in caps that
cover the entire spectrum without resorting to obscurity for it's own sake.
Hip hits at the embarrassing truths at the heart of our everyday lives
that deflate all of the false pomp and circumstance that the media builds
up around whatever they're selling us at the moment. I truly admire his
ability to go the extra mile mentally, at about the time that my transistors
have blown and I'm capping about talking whipped cream cannisters, Hip's
just hitting his stride, both in his captions and other comedy writings.
One day I will find the gland responsible for his powers and I will steal
it in his sleep. You didn't hear that from me.
Hippie:
This just in--this man, Harold "Sh*thead" McClain stole anchorman Chris Parker's gas grill. From all reports, this man has no penis and his wife is a whore.
Caption Comments: How Hippie knows my mothers cooking, I have no idea. Great way to turn the 'we had this last night' complaint on it's ear.
Capper Comments: Hippies caps run the gamut, from Pop culture, to black comedy, to just damn funny. And unlike most other cappers who have similar range, all of Hippies caps are laugh out loud hilarious.
Also, his Meet The Captioneers page was the inspiration for this whole Cappers A-Z thingy (that's the polite way to say I stole his idea, right?). Anywho, enough of my yakking, I think Hippies captions speak more about how funny and original he is then I could with a hundred sentences.
Hippie:
But mom, we had this last night! *And you'll have it again until you can keep it down, you little bastard!
Caption Comments: Short, sweet, kicked me in the teeth. This is the type of quick quip that I look for and enjoy the most, and jeezuz does he have 'em.
Capper Comments: It took me a few months to get enough courage to stay in the room for more than 5 minutes with this guy, such is his talent. The sheer strength of his personality threw me into the corner, then he pulls out a Bloodhound Gang cap I wish I still had, but time and a new hard drive have since lost it forever. Yeah. It was a great one. You should have been there. Every capper is unique, but some more than others, and Hippie lives down the hall, third door on the right.
Hippie:
Has a strange fetish for women's pantries.
Caption Comments: Just a fine example of how, when properly used, the word gimp is very very funny.
Capper Comments: Just paying props to the old school (I wonder if this means I can steal his caps and call it 'sampling?') Hippie is one of the most consistantly funny cappers going. If he's around, just pull up a chair, sit down, and get ready to laugh your ass off.
Hippie:
Lesko's Million Gimp March was a frightful disappointment, a setback for nerds everywhere.
Caption Comments: It takes a certain something to make me collapse into a laughing fit using flatulence as the punchline. I still marvel at this one...gah!
Capper Comments: Faster than a dillian pickleship in hyperspace.
More powerful than Jan Hammer on speed.
Able to leap Slash's hat in a single bound.
Look! Somewhere in CT!
It's the emporer!
It's Cheevy!
It's Hippie!
Mild mannered and quite docile by day, this capper sheds his clothes and get's down to protecting the world from Ned Nedmiller's harmful moon farts by night. Along with his trusty bloated sidekick Jeremiah Jenkins, there's no hope for Shempy evil-doers in this town! Town citizens love Hippie:
"Been there forever, just the way it should be! Pah! He's an inspiration
to us all!"
-- Mr. Art Hoiman Ventrical
"The man's a godsend. We'd be lost without him."
-- Mrs. San Atra
"He saved me"
-- Senior Phillip Michael Thomas
"He's. The. Best. My. Idol."
-- Doctor Dale Midkiff
So remember fans, when in need of a sure laugh and a man in a tight spandex costume, look no further than our very own Hippie. You'll be glad you did, mmm hmmm...
Hippie:
I say, sir! Jenkins farted! *I move that the meeting adjourn. *I second. *Meeting adjourned!
Caption Comments: Of course, this was one of only about forty billion captions by Hippie that I could've selected. Hell, his own site has twenty-two billion of them to choose from. *rimshot* But this one always stuck out from his impossibly-high standard for some reason. And what that reason is, I just cannot say. Why I picked this one is simple--It makes me laugh each and every time I see it. I don't know why. It just does. Stop harassing me.
Capper Comments: Hip was the first Captioneer to contact me, so he naturally scores points for that, but in addition, he also just happens to be one of the funniest people alive. Faint praise, I know, but it was all I could come up with. In fact, just go read what Jazz says about him. It sums up my own attitude right down to the comma, and also saves me some typing time. Which means more time for hooch, cheap drugs and forty-something hookers! Yeah! Thanks, Jazz!
(Incidentally, the fact that his handle shortens to Hip is poetically just, as well.)
Hippie:
Cats love it. Chicks dig it. But men respect it.