From the Bowels of the Troll Lab...
Headache-B-Gone, Ice Maiden Style!!!
Anyone that's ever known the crippling effects of a Migraine Headache knows the intense pressure one feels, like your head may explode from it.


Our Favorite Canadian Troll, Ice Maiden, Demonstrates her new Migraine relief system with the aid of a Deacon and Pope Turbo... First, a small arm drops two Excedrin into the mouth of the headache sufferer, then a 5000 pound weight is gently placed on the front of the skull, relieving inner pressure.

Needless to say, Clinical tests are giving positive results!
Eighty-five years ago, In Wiesbaden, Germany, Professor E.F. Horseblatt proposed a process to Envigorate the Male spirit while promoting the well-being of the female by means of a device he had an Idea for. He was promptly stoned to death by a group of Male Chauvanist Pigs for even proposing they do ANYTHING beneficial towards women.


Today, Troll Scientists Passion and Lisa have constructed the Schlong-Stretcher using Professor Horseblatt's original schematics, rantings, and obscene hand gestures.


As a curious side note, The stretcher, although incredibly painful and occaisionally fatal, is an unqualified success in it's task, but as a side effect, Most men tend to shrink 5 to 7 inches of their total height...
Like A Thrilling Combination of Bungee Jumping and Viagra!
The Days of the Enerrrgizer Bunny are Officially Numbered!
Tired of the batteries on your vibrator running out at exactly the wrong moment, Ladies?

A joint effort on behalf of ALL the PK Troll Women, The Mercury-Pinkstone is a 9-story, liquid-fuel powered 3-stage vibrator That could send Margaret Thatcher into orbit! In more than one way!!!

Due to the astoundingly ridiculous price tag ($325,000,000 per unit) The unit is Rented out with a 5-day lease contract and a firm guarantee... If you don't feel it going through you, the next one's free!!!*


*Subject to availability



Click here to visit the Vatican II's RCMP Guard!

Click here for a trip to Pope Bongo's Vatican Gift Shop!

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