Well here it is, ever wondered what sort of fart it was when you heard or smelt one? Well, now you can impress your friends with your knowledge on all types of farts.

Silent But Deadly (SBD) Fart
  The type that remains totally inaudible, yet somehow causes all the
  occupants of a room to collapse.  Can smell like anything, nasal
  investigators rarely have time to distinguish an odour.

Eggy Fart
  Smells very much like rotten eggs (or Hydrogen Sulphide).  A powerful
  odor which tends to put people off lunch.  Often rips out in the fashion
  of a Bunbuster.

Windy Fart
  The sort of fart which goes 'Whoosh', and is more felt than heard.  A
  little like an SBD, but louder and considerably less toxic.

Growling Fart
  Happens deep within the rectum (and therefore has no smell).  Somehow
  never meets the light of day.  Tends to growl like a dog at the vets.

Worrying Fart
  The kind which seems to be a fart right up to the point at which you
  release it.  At this stage matters become less sure, as it feels too
  solid for comfort.  You go to the bathroom and check your underpants at
  the next possible opportunity.

Prelude To A Poopie
  You feel like you have got a large beefy one, but out comes a tiny
  squeaker fart, and the head of something massive.  You tense your buttocks
  fast, lest you give birth to the brown equivalent of a zeppelin.

Compost Fart
  You know the compost heap that a gardener keeps at the bottom of the
  garden?  Well if you jump on it you will have some idea of what a compost
  fart sounds and smells like.  Do not attempt this one while you have
  company.

Beefy One
  Sounds loud, and butch eg.  'BRAAAAMMPPP!'.  Will smell a bit like the
  rotting offspring of a B.S.E infected cow and a dogturd.

Present (a.k.a 'Time I Wasn't Here' Fart)
  The type of fart which seems harmless, but then brings a small poopie as a
  housewarming gift.  You shuffle off to the toilet, and thank God you
  weren't in a business meeting when it happened.  If you were in a business
  meeting of course, you're screwed.

Squeaky Fart
  Sounds like 'Wheeek'.  Normally smells foul.

Bunbuster Fart
  'BRAAA!'  Sounds like a Beefy one, except much more sudden and much much
   more powerful.  Generally smells eggy or beefy.  Leaves your asshole
   smarting.  You really feel these babies.

Trouser Ripping Special
  Sends seismic ripples to the next city.  Rips the back of your pants.
  This fart genuinely hurts, and you can still feel it 20 minutes later.
  Anyone sitting nearby at the time will suffer hearing loss.

Escape Pod Fart
  You think you got away with this one.  You forced it out as silently as
  possible, and nobody heard.  You take deep sniffs through your nose, as
  discreetly as possible.  You smell nothing but your deodorant.  Then 30
  seconds later, as if released from a stasis field, everyone starts to
  cough and splutter.  You point to the person next to you and try to look
  innocent.

Brewer Fart
  You try to push a brewer fart the last furlong, but it stays firmly lodged
  deep within your bowels.  You come to the conclusion that it is some form
  of gaseous landmark.

Sphinctal Napalm
  Tends to occur a few hours after a hot curry.  Nevermind the smell, worry
  about the burning sensation and the nasty stain you know it must have
  left.

Stalker Fart
  Occurs when you leave the room to politely fart elsewhere, and save people
  the trouble of breathing your flatulent devils breath.  You go back into
  the room, but LO!  The foul nasal bombardment has followed you, and you
  are duly criticised for poor manners.

Burble Fart
  Bubbly!

On The Spot Fart
  You didn't even know it was there, but suddenly 'Brrmp'.

Not Now! (a.k.a Anal Control Fart)
  You feel the presence of a mighty fart, and are unable to release it due
  to your situation.  Happens on first dates, at important meetings, and
  on other such inexcusable occasions.  You clench your buttocks together so
  hard that you nearly give yourself a stroke, and wait for the pressure to
  subside.  Success depends on a number of factors, but Sods law tends to
  win out in the end.

Hydrated Flatulation (a.k.a Wet Fart)
  The original wet fart, which leaves a mark on your pants, and gives you a
  cold wet sticky sensation when you walk.  You might not like this little
  bugger, but you feel right at home with it.

GNL Fart
  Gambled 'n' lost.  You take a gamble that it's going to be a fart and stay
  where you are, but realize tragically that this is much more than a
  fart...

Underwater Fart
  Often done in the bath, or while swimming.  Sounds like the engine of a
  nuclear sub.  Can be smelt on rising to the surface, and experienced
  windbreakers will often catch the fart in an upturned jam jar, in order to
  set light to them.

Gunshot Fart
  Gunshot farts sound just like a gunshot.  They are exceedingly rare.  In
  fact they are so rare that most people don't know they even exist.  One
  report continues: "I have only witnessed one gunshot fart myself, my own,
  and almost scared the poop out of my girlfriend who was lying asleep
  beside me at the time.  She thought it was a gunshot, and it was so
  named."  A few others have refered to these rare creatures, so proving
  their existance.

Tandem Fart
  Tandem Farts are the worst smelling and longest lasting farts ever to be
  recorded.  They are so named since they are the only fart that is
  detectable by the nose on a Tandem bicycle (bicycle built for two) as it
  is being pedaled.  A tandem fart occurs when the captain of the bike farts
  and the stoker smells it.  As you can imagine, the fart most be extremely
  strong to compete with the wind and to get to the stoker's nose.
  Extremely disgusting farts off of a tandem are sometimes called Tandem
  farts, but they can never be confirmed as true Tandem.