A Marine colonel on his way home from work at the Pentagon came to a
dead halt in traffic and thought to himself, "Wow, this traffic seems
worse than usual. Nothing's even moving."
He notices a police officer walking back and forth between the lines
of cars so he rolls down his window and asks, "Excuse me, Officer,
what's the hold up?"
The Officer replies, "The President is just so depressed about the
impeachment thing he stopped his motorcade in the middle of the
Beltway and he's threatening to douse himself in gasoline and set
himself on fire. He says his family hates him and he doesn't have the
$33.5 million he owes his lawyers. I'm walking round taking up a
collection for him."
"Oh really? How much have you collected so far?"
"So far only about three hundred gallons but I've got a lot of folks
still siphoning."

Submitted By
Jake Gonzales ******************************************************************************

Ladies wanting to get a head. Just get a load of Bill.

****************************************************

President Clinton has ordered a new computer system

for his office in the White House.

A six inch floppy with NO memory.

*************************************************

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Do you know why Chelsy Clinton dont have any brothers or sisters?
Monica Lewinsky ate them all..

**************************************************

In our break room at work I noticed they installed a Soda and

candy machine belonging to Monica Lewinsky..

Yes each one flashes.
"Insert Bill, face up..."

Bill Clinton
statue CommitteeLittle Rock, Ar. 72205
(507) 372 1992

Dear Friend,
We have the distinguished honor of being on the committee for
raising five million dollars for placing a statue of Bill Clinton
in the Hall of Fame in Washington D.C.

This committee was in a quandary as to where to place the statue.
it was not wise to place it beside
George Washington, who never told a lie,
and not beside that of Jesse Jackson, who never
told us the truth, as Bill Clinton could never tell the difference.

We finally decided to place it beside
Christopher Columbus, the greatest Democrat of all.

He left not knowing where he was going, and returned
not knowing where he had been, and did it all on
borrowed money.

Over 5,000 years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel,
'Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels
and I will lead you to the promised land.'
Nearly 5,000 years later Roosevelt said, 'Lay down your
shovels,sit on you asses light up a camel. this is the
Promised Land.'
Now Bill Clinton is going to steal your shovels
kick your asses raise the price of your Camels
and mortgage the Promised Land.

If you are one of the fortunate people who has anything
left after paying taxes, we expect a generous
contribution to this worthwhile project.

Fraternally,