2. You can't tell which way the train went by looking at the track.
3. There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.
4. Happiness is merely the remission of pain.
5. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
6. Sometimes too much to drink is not enough.
7. The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
8. The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.
9. Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.
10. Things are more like they are today than they ever were before.
11. Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.
12. Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.
13. Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
14. I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.
15. Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.
16. If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
17. All things being equal, fat people use more soap.
18. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
19. One seventh of your life is spent on Monday.
20. By the time you make ends meet, they move the ends.
21. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
22. The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.
23. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
24. This is as bad as it can get, but don't count on it.
25. Never wrestle a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.
26. The trouble with life is, you're halfway through it before you realize it is a do-it-yourself thing.
27. Don't ask the question if you cannot live with the answer.
28. If you want a new idea, read an old book.
29. If you don't know where you're going, any road will get you there.
30. Never argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able tell the difference.
31. Observe everything; admire nothing.
32. It's easier to obtain forgiveness than it is permission.
33. Never look back unless you intend to go that way.
34. Just wondering, How much deeper would the oceans be without sponges?
35. It is said that all of us have Photographic minds, just some of us seem to always forget our film!
36. Madness takes its toll . . . please have exact change ready.
37. A day without sunshine is like....night.
38. Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
39. Save the whales . . . collect the whole set!
40. I let my mind wander and it didn't come back!
41. Don't be so open-minded that your brains fall out.
42. If at first you *DO* succeed, try not to look so astonished!
43. Diplomacy: The art of letting someone else have your way.
44. A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
45. Learning to forgive takes practice.
46. Money is a lousy way of keeping score, but until a better way comes along....
47.Maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've
had and what you've learned from them and less to do with
how many birthdays you've celebrated.
48. No matter how good a friend someone is, they're going to hurt
you every once in a while and you must forgive them for
that.
49. It isn't always enough to be forgiven by others, sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
50. No matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.
51. Our background and circumstances may have influenced who we
are, but we are responsible for who we
become.
52. Just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't
love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't
mean they do.
53. We don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
54. Two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
55. The credentials on your wall do not make you a better human being.
56. The people you care most about in life are always taken from you too soon.
57. Even if you do the right thing but for the wrong reason, it's still the wrong thing to do.
58. You cannot make someone love you, all you can do is be someone who can be loved, the rest is up to them.
59. No matter how much you care, some people just don't care back.
60. It takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.
61. You can get by on charm for about 15 minutes, after that, you'd better know something.
62. It's not what, but who, you have in your life that counts.
63. No matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides.
64. We are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
65. Either you control your attitude or it controls you. (You eat the bear or the bear eats you!)
66. Regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first,
the passion fades and there had better be something else to take
its place.
67. Heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
68. There are people who love you dearly, but just don't know how to show it.
69. He who loses money, loses much; He who loses a friend, loses more; He who loses love, loses all.
70. Beautiful young people are acts of nature, But beautiful old people are works of art.
71. Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.
72. The tongue weighs practically nothing, But so few people can hold it.
73. Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.
74. To handle yourself, use your head. To handle others, use your heart.
75. Anger is only one letter short of danger.
76. Great minds discuss ideas, Average minds discuss events, Small minds discuss people.
77. Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue. (Think about it!)
78. Needing a man is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there
the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing
him again.
79. I can please only one person per day.
Today is not your day.
Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
80. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?!"
81. My Reality Check bounced.
82. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
83. Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
84. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
85. Good news is just life's way of keeping you off balance.