That is a good question! It seems like everyday God shows me something new about myself that I never really knew.
This may sound strange to some people, but it is true. I believe we live in a world that likes to cover itself up with a facad. A
facad only to hide it's hurt, pain, and insecurities. I look at myself and see that I too played a part in this masquerade for a long
time. This is only a superficial mindset though. I want to be the kind of person that, although there is more to who I am
(inside), what you see portayed in my lifestyle is a reflection of that. Again I come to the question though, who am I? I think
that since I have believed in a facad for so long that I do not truley know who I am and how to be... As I grew up I was taught
that there was someone who knew every single part of me. Someone who knew every little part of my being, from the
time I was conceived. It took me many years to see that this was indeed the truth! I don't think I accepted this notion until I
decided to stop living my masquerade. However, now he has begun to point out just what he does know (good and bad).
I have seen that I am a person who enjoys to make people happy. This goes beyond just being humorous. Although I do
not live to please the world (but God), it is extremely hard for me to let someone stay in pain, tension, sorrow, etc... It is the
biggest facad to think we are alone in this world. That someone who is helping me see myself in a new light also would like to
do more than hold a mirror for us to take a look. He also wants to be our conforter, our peace, our God. He has been all of
that to me and it only feels right for me to share that love with others...
I am a creative person. There are many things that we cannot see in our everday lives, yet are soo real. They only need
to be reached and grabbed by one who has the faith that they are there. This creative thinking makes some think of me as a
very 'weird' individual, but I tend to think otherwise. It is not me being weird, but trying to break from the conformity of society
and be the unique individual God says that I am. Creativity has more to do than constructing tangible things, because I do not
really think we can create something, but rather bring to the surface. I personally believe that God is the creater of all things. I
consider the creativity that I have shown in my lifetime only to be a testimony to that origonal creation!
"Do not fear what the future may bring, rather fear what is already been set in stone..." This quote is one that I try to live
by. I no longer try to let fear keep me from being who I really am. What is the worst thing that could happen?! Seriously.. I'd
rather die knowing that everything I had done was TRUE than to say my life was a LIE! Fear is a horrible creature. It's claws
can cut us down even before we get the chance to venture out. I lived with so much fear for a great deal of my life. No... I
didn't hide in a fetal position, shaking in terror from day to day. Yet fear kept me chained to the ground, never letting me rise
above. There is no peace when fear has you, and this is why (like I said earlier) so many people live a facad in the first place.
But what I have found is that there is hope. This may be deep for you but here goes... There is something that Fear actually
FEARS! It fears Lord and God, Jesus Christ...
Some of you may be saying to yourselves right now, "Come on... All I want to know is who this guy is..". Although some
of you didn't really want to read the previous stuff, just consider it like eating vegetables. Doesn't always taste good, but there's
good stuff somewhere in them. Well, if this is you I will give you the typical quick introduction to me that is very common
amonst guys (no offence meant to any other males). My name is Kelly Riley, born 7/7/79 in the small town of Gooding, Idaho.
Grew up in several places around the western United States in a family of 4 brothers and sisters. I'll skip the whole school thing
because there really not much to say there, except for the fact that I made the decision to follow God sometime in January of
1991 (I think). High school was a rollarcoaster. I have no clue how I made it through, but did. After that I had no no clue
what to do with life except to do what seemed the wisest of decisions, like go to college. So here I am at Boise State University
(Idaho... again) studying Computer Science.
