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The Turtle of Time One day the turtle of time, Geoff was walking through the fields of space when he stopped and thought to himself what a waste of space Michael Portillo is. But more to the point what a waste of good land this is, so he set of building a breeding ground for ex-government gnomes and ferrets. It took a long time to build the celebrated breeding grounds and when Geoff had finished, he had created the breeding ground equivalent of the Garden of Eden. His first visitor was Michael Portillo, who had brought 32 of his 6372 gnomes and paid for their stay with his wife’s cholostomy bags. But one day Geoff had enough of looking after other people’s gnomes and set about selling Gnome and Ferret breeding grounds for 23 million and 3 pence which was a nice profit. The new owner Frank Butcher set about running and appointed Steve the Muppet as head caretaker, you may remember Steve from other stories such as ‘The farmer Jeff’. Steve set about his Muppet activities that included washing an elephant with a rag on a stick. Meanwhile Geoff was having problems with a stalker, who has been identified as Great Uncle Matt from Fraggle Rock. Geoff tried to escape his evil clutches, he tripped over a fruit bowl left their by Anna Kournikova and fell face first in to a sack of socks, which any idiot knows that if you smell a fraggles sock it will knock you right out. When Geoff awoke he saw an island, was he dreaming or just wishing? But this was no pacific island, it was dark and wet probaly underground thought Geoff. When he looked around he saw lots and lots of fraggle’s singing the fraggle song and boiling a huge black pot of water in which Geoff was currently located. The fraggles looked meaner then on television as Gobo explains why: "They cancelled the show because we went a bit mad and clubbed most of the camera crew to death and ate their brains that were leaking out. But the one’s we didn’t kill Great Uncle Matt experimented on them to see what would happen if we dropped them in toxic waste or cut of their legs to see if they could get away. But there was nothing wrong with that, the muppet babies did it to Nanny and they got their own show plus a 12-deal movie contract. It makes me so mad I might kill Fozzy Bear" Meanwhile Geoff had escaped by using his spidersense while Gobo went insane. Geoff had lost the fraggle’s and was looking for a way out, luck seemed to be on his side as he found an exit but it was blocked by a B&Q shed. "Damm that infernal hardware store and it’s crazy cheap pricing system" said Geoff And ran to find another exit. Meanwhile Steve was working with Frank Butcher trying to put up a B&Q shed, but that’s not important because Geoff had found another exit into the lighthouse and was almost out of Fraggle Rock. But the Dozer’s were catching up to him on their little track for mine carts. But Geoff got out and the lighthouse keeper looked up from eating his breakfast and seen Geoff coming out of a hole and running out of the back door followed closely by a little mine cart flying uncontrollably though the air with a Dozer inside hanging on. "Same time tomorrow Mrs Fruity" said the lighthouse keeper. Later that night Geoff was telling Steve and Frank what had happened, but seen as Geoff’s a tortoise no one believed him, so Steve asks him if he wants to help put a shed up from B&Q with him and Frank tomorrow. The End
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