Thunk! A quivering arrow landed in the bull's eye of a target.

"Woo-hoo!" Xander shouted and did an odd victory dance. "Who da man? That's the sixth one in a row. Do you finally admit defeat?" he crowed triumphantly.

"You were so lucky." Buffy could only give Xander a disgusted look.

Giles had been pleasantly surprised by his latest protégé. Xander had done better than his word and applied himself wholeheartedly to training. While his marital arts skills were only so-so, Xander had taken up the cross bow with a vengeance. Giles had felt that it should naturally be Xander's weapon of choice since he didn't have the slayer's strength for hand to hand combat. And as it turned out, Xander was actually a better shot with the cross bow than Buffy.

He was constantly bragging and teasing her about his superior skill to the point that Buffy had challenged him to prove it this afternoon. Now she was really never going to hear the end of it.

"Ha! You so can't stand to lose," Xander gloated knowingly.

"I do not." Buffy huffed.

Xander rolled his eyes. "Do too."

"Do not!" Buffy protested.

"Do too." "Do not." "Do too." "Do not." "Do not."

"Do t-�Oh that's just it." Buffy tackled a laughing Xander to the ground.

"You just can't say it can you." Xander laid flat on his back still chuckling.

"Alright, I'll say it. You win," Buffy said graciously looking down from on top of him. "But I'd say when it comes to a . . .tickle-fest, I win." With that she started tickling him mercilessly.

"Arghh!" Xander howled with laughter under her onslaught. "No fair," he gasped. "I give. I give!"

Buffy stopped and looked down at a now thoroughly tousled Xander. She gave one last smirk before rolling off of him and onto her back. For a timeless moment she just lay in the grass beside him looking up at the sky, the perfect blueness unbroken to the edge of the horizon. It was a glorious summer day. Buffy felt a sense of contentment that she hadn't felt in a long time.

She glanced over at Xander and smiled at her best friend. Although she knew that she could never take Willow's place in his life, they had become inseparable. She and Xander had built a strong, deep friendship based on trust and affection. It was a friendship that only strengthen as time went by and she knew she was lucky to have him. Gloating not withstanding.

Xander rolled onto his side and propped himself up on one elbow to look at her. "So what are we going to do tonight?"

"We're going to do what we do every night Xander."

"What? Take over the world?" he teased.

Buffy rolled her eyes exaggeratingly. "No silly. Just the Bronze. We leave world conquest stuff to vampires and other assorted baddies, remember?"

"Oh yah! Talking about vamps, do we want to go patrol before we go out tonight or after?" he asked.

"Oh. I thought we might skip the slayage thing for tonight. Pickings have been slim. I figure Giles can give us the night off."

With school out, Buffy and Xander had the opportunity to train every afternoon and hunt every evening. Working as a team with the will to do major damage, they were pretty fierce. So there hadn't been too much action in Sunnydale lately. In fact, the last couple months the local vamp population had been decidedly low-key.

"I wish it were always like this," Buffy said almost absently looking back up at the sky.

"Almost like what?"

"Daylight," Buffy sighed now wistfully. "That it would never be night."

*~*~*~*

Pounding music and the swaying bodies of teens filled the Bronze. As always

the Bronze was packed and in the center of the dance floor was Buffy and Xander. Buffy was dancing and Xander - well, Xander was doing what Buffy could only describe as goofing around.

Sometimes Buffy felt like she was any other normal teen girl. Not the chosen one. Not the Slayer. And certainly not the person who stood against the powers of darkness. Tonight, hanging out with her best pal, she was just Buffy. Closing her eyes, she lost herself to the music.

Suddenly the music changed and a slow song came on. Xander was about the head back to their table when Buffy tugged on his arm.

"Hey, come on. Dance this one with me?" she smiled and batted her eyelashes outrageously.

Shrugging his shoulders, Xander pulled her into his arms and started to do an impersonation of a tango to the totally inappropriate music. Giggling Buffy followed his lead. They weaved in and out of the slowly swaying couples. They were getting a lot of odd looks, but Xander only exaggerated the tango theme more and at the end of the song, he made a move to dip her.

Pulling her up a little too hard, Buffy came up stumbling against his body.

Breathless she looked up at him to say something witty about his dancing technique, but she lost whatever she was going to say as she stared into his eyes. Suddenly neither of them were goofing around any longer.

Buffy felt the immediate tension and held her breath, not sure what was going on. Not wanting to ruin the moment, but also not wanting to change things past the point of no return, she merely put her arms around his neck and her head on his shoulder as another slow song came on. This time Xander followed her lead as they did little more than sway to the music.

Across the room, a pair of eyes were intently watching Buffy and Xander. Not wanting them to see him just yet he made his way out of the Bronze. He decided to wait for the right moment to reveal himself. This was certainly not it.

After the song ended there was an awkward pause between Xander and Buffy.

Clearing his throat Xander asked oh so casually, "Uhm, do you want something to drink?"

Grateful Buffy nodded, "Yah, just water though is good." She made her way back to their table and sat down, resisting the urge to bury her face in her hands. < That just so did not happen. >

< Yes it did. And you like it! > a taunting voice in her head replied.

< But it's Xander! > < So what's wrong with exploring a relationship with Xander? > < EVERYTHING! > she screamed back at herself. < We're friends, and... >

Any further debate in her head was cut short when Xander returned with her drink.

"Thanks." She drank her water quickly.

"It's getting kinda late," he said tentatively.

"Oh, definitely," Buffy rushed to agree. "Since we didn't patrol tonight, Giles will want us to do some training tomorrow morning. You know, early. So maybe we should call it a night."

"Come on then, I'll let you walk me home," Xander said as if bestowing some great honor.

Buffy was never more thankful than now for Xander's way of diffusing a situation with humor. "Oh, please! May I? Pretty please?"

Smiling broadly now, Xander crooked his elbow and she linked her arm with his as they left the Bronze all awkwardness temporarily put out of their minds.

It wasn't until Buffy had left Xander's place that she once more confronted what had happened between them at the Bronze. She wasn't too sure what exactly it was, but it was a little scary.

As the Slayer, Buffy didn't get her strength to keep on fighting from anger or duty or the knowledge that she was fighting the righteous fight, although that helped. But rather she got her true strength from the people who believed in her, the ones who counted on her. They were also the people she knew she could count on. Her victory over the Master wouldn't have been possible without her friends. If she was a successful slayer it was because of the incredible people in her life.

Buffy pitied past slayers who didn't have the kind of friends that she had. But she also understood now why friends could be a vulnerability. When she lost Willow and Angel, her confidence, her very strength felt diminished. But Xander had gotten her through that loss. Xander - who would go to the mouth of hell and back for her. In the last year he had gain some indeterminable quality, some inner fortitude that hadn't been there before. And whereas she had been the one who was strong initially after finding out about Willow, Xander became the emotional stabilizer for her now when things looked bad. He was her rock, the one person whom she counted on above all others. She needed him.

To pursue anything more with him meant maybe messing up what they already had. So the fact that dancing in his arms had felt wonderfully right was downright disturbing. And the one thing she would never allow herself to do was jepordize her friendship with Xander.

So Buffy handled it the only way she could. She rationalized it away. < I'm sure it doesn't really mean anything. Maybe its an entirely normal feeling best friends have with each other. >

Deep in these thoughts, she was almost home before she had the odd sensation she was being followed. The sensation grew until Buffy's 'spider' sense told her she was not definitely not being paranoid. And whoever was following her wasn't of the human variety stalker either. She whipped around to face the vamp.

As the shadows revealed the figure before her, she gasped.

"Angel!"

Buffy looked at Angel as if he were a ghost. Dumbfounded she could only stand there her mouth hanging open.

"Buffy." Angel approached her slowly, taking in her shock.

She walked slowly over to him taking in his presence. Abruptly she threw herself into his arms in a huge rib-cracking hug. Angel almost smiled at her exuberance.

"Oh my god! What are you doing here? Is Willow with you?" she asked still recovering. Then she started and backed away. "What's happened?" The question spilled out of her in a panicked manner.

Angel hedged, "You know what happened to Willow last summer?"

"Yes, I...Xander and I found her diary. We know what happened with the Anointed One." Buffy looked down at the ground as she said this and then back at him with intense desperation in her eyes, "But how is she now? Is she alright? I need to know if Willow is alright. Please, tell me!" she begged.

"The last time I saw Willow, she was more than alright," he said trying to reassure her.

"Oh thank God!" She heaved a sigh of excited relief. "Tell me about her. What has she been doing?"

"Let's go somewhere where we can talk," he said, knowing that there were many more questions she would have.

Even as completely frazzled as she was, Buffy didn't forget Xander and his equally desperate need to know about Willow. She said hurriedly, "We have to get Xander. Oh and Giles and Ms. Calendar of course. They're going to want to know everything. I want to know everything!"

Angel almost sighed but nodded. It would save on repeated explanations later.

She found a phone booth and made calls to Xander and Giles. It took a superhuman effort on Buffy's part not to start asking Angel all the questions that were dying to be asked, but she managed. As it was, she didn't have to wait long. Buffy had been vague, merely saying that they had to get the library ASAP because there was news about Willow. To say that they all had hurried over was an understatement. Xander practically flew to get there in record time. But it was Giles, exceeding all legal speed limits, who came in first with Ms. Calendar right behind him.

With Willow no longer there, Giles had turned to Jenny for computer related help. Eventually, by picking up bits and pieces, she learned what had really happened to Willow. Lending her understanding and resourcefulness, she had come to be an invaluable part of their little group. Not to mention an invaluable part of Giles' personal life. It was a development that Buffy and Xander found very amusing. They had found ways to subtly and not so subtly rib the two adults mercilessly.

As they came into the library, both Giles and Jenny were stunned to see Angel. At the same time Giles' eyes also searched out for Willow as well.

Understanding, Angel said apologetically, "She's not here, Giles."

At that moment Xander came running in as well. He nearly toppled over when he came to an abrupt stop upon seeing Angel. It was apparent that Angel was

the last person he had expected to see, yet at the same time his whole face lit up expectantly, "Where's Willow?" he demanded.

"Now that you're all here, I can begin." Angel started, ignoring Xander altogether.

Buffy, however, went over to Xander's side. Touching his shoulder she said, "She's not here." Taking in his crestfallen look, she hurried to continue, "But Angel has news about her." She and the rest of them turned to Angel eagerly.

When he decided to come back to Sunnydale, Angel knew that questions about Willow were going to be inevitable. He even wanted to tell them. He wanted to relieve them of the worst of their apprehensions - not knowing. It was something Angel understood.

Angel began with the basics. "When Willow and I left for Europe, we decided to go to Rome and try to contact Brother Lugo." He saw Ms. Calendar's eyes widen in recognition of the name. "About two months ago we found a way to anchor her soul. To destroy her demon. Willow is still a vampire, but she's never going to have to worry about her bloodlust again."

They all looked at each other and in their expressions was a mixture of relief with an equal amount of sorrow that there was no absolute cure for Willow. Then Giles asked the question that sprang immediately to all their minds, "How did she anchor her soul?"

"She had to drink holy water to destroy the demon," Angel said carefully.

Giles gasped. "How-how did you know it wouldn't kill her?" he asked incredulously.

Remembering his own dread when Willow was going through with it, Angel responded evenly, "We didn't."

They were all gravely silent at this. Angel's succinct words telling them all they needed to know or guess about the desperation that drove Willow to undergo such a drastic measure.

"I must talk with you, uhm, more in depth about this later," Giles said finally in Watcher mode. Angel nodded in agreement.

Xander refused to be ignored for long. "Where is Willow now?" he asked. Buffy and Giles too looked at Angel hopefully.

"Europe," Angel said, conveniently leaving out that he had no idea where in Europe. < I'm not lying. At least, I'm pretty sure she's still in Europe, > Angel thought to himself.

"Wait," Xander pressed on. "She's not in Rome anymore?"

Angel didn't answer.

Buffy asked softly, "She still doesn't want to be found, does she?"

"No, she doesn't," Angel said with dismal finality. He added to himself, < Not even by me. >

*~*~*~*

They all stayed at the library for a long time playing the question and answer game with Angel about Willow. Finally it was in the wee hours of the morning when Ms. Calendar pointed out how late it was.

"Goodness, so it is." Giles agreed. "Xander, Buffy let me drive you home. Angel do you have a place to stay in town?"

"Don't worry about me. I have my old place."

"Ah, well excellent." Giles said. They all made a move toward the doors but Buffy still hadn't gotten up. Giles asked, "Are you coming Buffy?"

Xander too had turned back expectantly. His eyes locked with Buffy's for a moment. Then he walked out the doors not needing to hear her response. He understood all too well.

Buffy looked at his retreating figure for a moment before answering Giles. "No, you go ahead without me," she said quietly.

"I'll walk you home," Angel said to her but it was more for Giles' benefit than Buffy's.

Looking back and forth at the both of them, Giles nodded. "I'll see you tomorrow then."

Automatically Buffy and Angel started walking the way to her house. Alone now Buffy regarded him uncertainly. Her initial reaction had been to pelt him with questions about Willow, but now she had other questions, personal questions that had to do with just him...and her. But she didn't know how to bring them up.

"How have you been?" she asked. < Oh great, wonderful question. Why not talk about the weather while I'm at it? > she berated herself. It was a banal question, yet it hadn't been asked with any amount of casual curiosity.

"I've been good." The response was empty, almost guarded and it led to an awkward sort of silence between them. In an effort to break it,Angel added, "You know I've regretted leaving the way I did. At the time I couldn't even begin to think of what I would write to say to you. I'm sorry if I hurt you." Angel's soul-filled eyes sought hers asking for her forgiveness.

Buffy stopped walking. "It was hard," she began. "When you first left and we found out about...what happened to Willow, I realized why you left. I couldn't be mad at you. But I did miss you." Buffy said softly.

"I missed you too. It's been a long time," Angel said looking at her intently. "A lot of things have changed, haven't they?" It was more of a comment than a question.

"Uh, yah I guess they have." Buffy said, feeling as if his words held a double meaning, speaking on a level that she didn't quite have a handle on.

They started walking again while Buffy floundered once again for something to say. Then she hit on the question that had been hovering in the back of her mind ever since she had first seen him again. "You never said why are you're back in town."

"No, I guess I didn't." Angel's tone was devoid of even a hint. "We're here," he pointed out.

Buffy looked around realizing that they were already standing in front of her house. She sighed knowing that he had deliberately avoided her question. He obviously wasn't going to be forthcoming about it either. But she was tired, too tired to wrangle a straight answer out of him. The evening's excitement had taken its toll. Nevertheless, she hesitated to go inside. "You-you're not going to take off again without saying good-bye are you?"

"No. I won't," Angel promised.

On impulse Buffy raised herself to her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. "Night Angel. I'm glad you're back," she whispered.

She had already unlocked her door when she heard him call out, "Buffy," Angel's voice sounded weary and unsure to her. "There are some things I need to talk to you about. Not now. Tomorrow."

"Wha...Angel?" But he had already disappeared. "I hate it when he does that," she muttered. Cryptic man was back in full force she realized, as she was left to only wonder what on earth those 'things' he wanted to talk about might be.

*~*~*~*

Buffy was in a very thoughtful mood the next morning and not at all strangely her thoughts were centered around Angel. Her initial burst of shock and excitement had subsided into an another, odd feeling. She didn't know how to describe it. It certainly wasn't what she thought she would feel if she ever saw Angel again. She had had images of them ecstatically kissing as music soared in the background. < O.K., so maybe the romance novel scene isn't realistic,but this feels wrong somehow. >

Angel seemed like the enigmatic stranger from the early days of their relationship, not the caring man that had captured her heart. But all that seemed a lifetime ago.

When Xander came over to her house for lunch before their afternoon training session, he noticed her distracted mood. "Thinking about Willow?"

Buffy blushed guiltily, "Yes. Well and Angel." Biting on her lower lip she choose her words carefully. "Angel said that there was something else that he needed to talk to me about. But he didn't want to say anything about it last night. Its just driving me crazy thinking about what it might be."

Xander shrugged and said pragmatically, "He already dumped a lot of stuff on us about Willow. I'm sure he didn't want to overburden you by adding something else."

Buffy nodded, "Yah I suppose so."

"So is this just a visit by Angel, or a more permanent thing for you two?" Xander asked without any perceptible signs of sarcasm or joking. He said it without any jealousy and he sounded for all the world like someone merely asking for general information.

"That's what I don't know," Buffy said a little disconcerted. She couldn't believe that she was having this conversation with Xander. She hadn't wanted to bring up Angel with him, somehow thinking that he might be jealous. Xander never really made it a secret that he'd been jealous of Angel before. Yet instead Xander seemed to be lightly assuming she'd be willing to pick up right where she and Angel had left off. It certainly wasn't the attitide that Buffy had expected from Xander.

< Well, jeez, it's not like I want him to be jealous. > This made her shake her head and she frowned. Buffy suddenly wasn't sure what threw her more - Angel's presence back in Sunnydale or Xander's calm acceptance of her renewing a relationship with Angel.

Switching gears Xander said, "I was up thinking about things all last night. Thinking about Willow," he clarified. "Of course I'm thrilled, I'm all out jumping for joy that Willow's o.k. The thing is, I can't help but feel frustrated that she still doesn't want us to know where she is." Xander's mouth tightened, "If she sent Angel to let us know how she's doing then why wouldn't she want us to know where she is?" His dark eyes unconsciously took on a whipped puppy-dog look.

"I don't know," Buffy said softly. She took his hand in hers as it seemed she had done a hundred times, but suddenly Xander seemed self-conscious about her gesture and gently withdrew his hand. He had done it tactfully, nevertheless, she was aware of his retreat and was hurt by it.

"Actually, I'm sorry, Buff, I-I guess I don't feel much like training today. I'm going home," Xander said getting up. "But I'll meet you tonight at the cemetery."

"Xand...," Buffy started to call his name but he was already out the door and out of hearing distance. < What is it with the guys in my life?!? > Buffy wanted to shriek. < If they keep on pulling that same disappearing move, I'm going to lose it. I swear! >

*~*~*~*

Xander's radio was on in his room, blasting out soulful tune, after soulful tune. Things were very wrong in Xander-land. Things usually were when he turned to the country music station.

Sprawled on top of his bed, Xander was deep in thought. He had gone home and spent all afternoon trying to make sense of things. It was amazing how 24 hours could turn someone's life upside down. Things had finally just started to feel normal again when Angel showed up. Well as normal as things

can get after your best friend has been turned into a vampire and was gone forever.

In the last few months, as much as he thought about Willow almost every day, he had learned to laugh again without guilt. If Xander ever began to feel guilty for having gained a measure of peace and moments of happiness, he just brought out Willow's letter. The letter she had left had been a source of torment for him at first. But now he read it to be comforted by Willow's sweet, simple words: 'Please, be well, live well and be happy, for me? I love you now, and I'll love you later.'

Seeing Willow just once more was something that Xander dreamed about. He

wanted to be able to say things to her, things she should know. Things that he should have told her a long time ago. The good news of Willow's success in destroying her demon had lifted his spirits, even while he struggled with his keen disappointment that it wasn't Willow herself who had come to tell them. That brought him to the whole matter of Angel. More specifically Buffy and Angel.

Xander loved Willow. Yet, while it had been difficult acknowledging it to himself, he wasn't IN love with her. He would never be able to return Willow's feelings the way that she might have wanted. His feelings for her would never be more than the dearest love of one friend for another. And the reason for it was because, well, it had always been Buffy for him.

What he felt for Buffy had never just been a crush. < Maybe in the very, very beginning it was just the blind hormonal thing, but I got over that a long time ago. O.k., maybe not completely over the hormonal part, but that's not just all that I feel for Buffy. > With all the things they had been through together, he knew all there was to know about Buffy Summers. He admired, respected and liked her. He knew her faults as well, but they were the kind that only endeared her more to him. He was as sure of his love for her as he was of anything.

He had never spoke to Buffy again about his feelings after she had turned him down for the Spring Fling. Plus after Willow had gone, he clung fiercely to his friendship with Buffy. He had vowed that not even his deepening love for her would get in the way of their friendship.

Not that it was easy. Especially with times like last night when they had been dancing at the Bronze. He almost made an idiot of himself. < But I really thought for a minute there that she - ah never mind. Buffy's in love with Angel. She's made that clear and that's that. I'm fine with it. Really. >

Xander shook his head. < God! I'm so not fine. But I'm going to put up a good front for Buffy. She might not love me the way I want her to, but I'll be damned if she ever finds out that I'm still jonesing for her. I won't show her how miserable I am about all this. It would just make her feel bad. It would make her feel sorry for me and I couldn't stand that. >

He gave a huge sigh. Then glancing out his window he realized that it was already past dusk. < Time to go and beat the crap out of some bad guys. >

He left his house and walked toward the cemetery to meet Buffy there, but he was dragging his feet. His thoughts kept going back to Buffy. It was going to be hell watching her and Angel together. He had had to sit by and watch them before. < And I guess I'll do it again.>

But Xander vowed that this time, he wouldn't be such a pain for them. < I won't be bitter. No more picking on Angel and not just for Buffy's sake. > Angel had redeemed himself completely in Xander's eyes. He had proven himself by taking care of Willow. Besides any insults that he might think of hurling at Angel now applied to Willow and NO ONE, but no one insulted his Willow.

He had just reached the cemetery and spotted Buffy but right alongside her was Angel. < Talk about the devil. > Xander thought. It looked as if they were completely involved with each other.

< Oblivious to the world. She probably forgot that I was supposed to be here. Hell she probably forgot that I even exist now that Mr. Wonderful Dead-boy is back. Dead-BOY certainly doesn't apply to Willow so I'm still allowed to use that insult...Oops! O.K. so even my best intentions are short lived. >

Xander was about to head back home and leave the lovebirds alone when something caught his attention. He never knew exactly what it was, but he was just in time to catch a glimpse of something just beyond the trees, behind where Buffy and Angel were standing. As he took a closer look, his heart dropped with terrifying realization.

There was a vampire with a cross-bow. And he was aiming directly at Buffy and Angel.

"Buffy!!!!" he screamed a warning and ran toward her, knowing that he would be too late.

Buffy would remember what happened next like it was in slow motion with highlighted freeze frame images.

She had been waiting for Xander at the cemetery. She couldn't have been there for more than a few minutes when Angel showed up. It was obvious that he come to talk to her about whatever it was that he had been reluctant to bring up last night. They had only just greeted one another when she heard Xander. He shouted her name in a panicked way that warned her something was way wrong.

In some remote part of her brain she watched as Xander ran toward her, his face registering fear and determination. Somehow, someway he reached them and pushed both her and Angel out of the way just as the vampire released the arrow.

Everything froze for an instant as Buffy watched helplessly as the arrow, deprived of its primary target, proceeded to embed itself into Xander. With brutal clarity she saw it all happen - Xander's eyes widening with a mixture of pain and shock, his body thrown to the ground by the impact of the arrow slicing through him and then his still, unconscious body. Then time seemed to speed up again and the rest was a blur.

"NO! Xander!" Buffy screamed.

She wanted to rush over to him, but two more vampires joined the one that had missed Buffy with his arrow. They looked angry that their little ambush failed. A cold rage fell over Buffy and she didn't even await their attack. Buffy and Angel formed a kind of barrier between the fallen Xander and the vampires. Never with more speed did Buffy slay the vampires that came at her. She flew at them with cold efficiency and before Angel had even destroyed his one opponent, Buffy had killed her two and was already kneeling over Xander.

Xander had managed to turn just enough to keep the arrow from entering his heart. Instead it had landed in his shoulder and was sticking out front and back in a manner that made Buffy blanche upon seeing his wound more closely. She felt a hand on her shoulder and saw Angel bending down to inspect Xander's wound.

"Its a flesh wound. It's ugly, but not life-threatening," Angel pronounced. "Help me hold him up so that we can remove the arrow before he comes to," Angel instructed her. "We don't want him to be in any more pain than necessary."

Trembling she gathered him gently in an embrace, careful not to move him abruptly, while Angel painstakingly ripped the end of the arrow off and withdrew the rest of it from the other side of Xander's shoulder. They needed something to staunch the blood so Angel balled up his jacket and applied pressure on the bleeding.

"We have to get him to the hospital. He's losing blood. I'll go call the ambulance." He left quickly leaving Buffy murmuring mindless words of comfort in Xander's ear.

Xander groaned starting to come to. "Buffy?"

"I'm here, Xander. I'm right here," Buffy crooned to him. "You're going to be alright."

"Wha�what happened?" Xander asked his mind clouded by the pain.

"You saved me. Again," Buffy said shakily. "Angel's gone to get an ambulance. You're hurt but you're going to be o.k."

Xander couldn't help but joke weakly, "Geez, I wonder how we're gonna explain this. Crazed, cross-bow accident?"

*~*~*~*

Fools!" the Anointed One screamed. "You were supposed to bring Angelus here to me."

The vampires around him coward away from his deadly gaze. For all that he looked like a child, Colin exuded raw power.

"You attacked Angelus right in front of the Slayer! Did I have to specifically tell you to avoid her? I have less than one week to bring the Unslayable One to the Hellmouth and all you idiots can do is fail at every task I give you."

Colin - the Anointed One, took a page out of his old master's book and proceeded to rip the heart out of the messenger who had informed him of the ambush's failure. Screaming his victim fell to the ground writhing until Colin staked the heart he held in his hand. The vampires around him looked at one another in fear, wondering if they were next. Colin smiled. Intimidation and terror - they were a vampire leader's best tools.

Besides, it made him feel better.

He continued more calmly, "The Unslayable One has been remarkably elusive. But perhaps not all is lost yet. Darin!" He pointed to his most trusted servant, "Change of plans. Follow Angelus. Don't attack him. Just follow him. Got it?"

"Yes my master."

"I was going to torture him into telling me where she is, but he might have done something noble and died without giving her location. But I have a feeling that he'll lead us straight to her. Once you do find her, you can kill Angelus. But SHE comes to me alive. Take whatever resources necessary. Go now and do not fail me."

Colin sat on the throne that used to be the Master's and pondered his strategy. < If we don't find her, then all my plans have been for nothing. But I won't fail. She will be brought to me and she will bind herself to me. It is written, so it shall be. >

*~*~*~*

It was well into the morning hours when Giles entered the library. Deeply absorbed in a manuscript that he was reading, he didn't see the vampire lurking in the shadows. Finally looking up, he noticed and literally jumped in surprise. "Oh goodness, gracious. Y-you startled me, Angel. I guess I'm not used to you just popping up anymore."

"I'm sorry," Angel said apologetically.

"No, quite alright." Giles waved his hands in a dismissive motion. "What are you doing here at this time of day?"

"I came because I wanted to talk to you. I couldn't wait any more," Angel started, then hesitated.

For some reason, Angel hadn't been able to tell all of them the first night he arrived about Willow's disappearence. He had planned to, but then he hadn't known *how* to tell them. He dreaded seeing the condemnation in their eyes for the failure he saw in himself. So he had stayed silent. Now Giles was going to be the first one he told. Last night he tried to tell Buffy about it. Granted, he *hadn't* told Buffy, but that wasn't his fault. He had begun to and then after the attack and with Xander injured, it just had not the time for confessions. In a way he was most apprehensive about telling Giles. Angel respected him and knew him to be a fair man. But it was the promise to Giles before he had left Sunnydale, that he would do everything in his power to always watch over Willow, that gave an added sense of failure in Angel's mind.

Still not looking Giles in the eye, Angel continued, "I didn't tell you everything the other night about Willow."

Giles furrowed his brow, a look of worry came over his face. He waited apprehensively for Angel to go on.

"Willow left Rome about a month ago. She just�left me. I don't know where she went. I've spent the last month searching for her all over Europe. But its like she vanished without a trace!" Angel's lips tightened in a thin line of frustration.

Giles was disturbed by this news. He took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Why didn't you tell this to us sooner?"

"I�its my fault. She left because of me." Angel hung his head dejectedly at the admission. "Here." He handed Willow's letter over to Giles who read it intently.

Finishing Giles rested his hand on Angel's shoulder to show his lack of condemnation. Giles said quietly, "Its not your fault. Willow is a very giving person. If she thought for one moment that you'd be happier here, even if you wouldn't be, then she'd do everything in her power to make sure that you'd be able to come back."

"I have to find her Giles. She's all alone out there," Angel said passionately.

Giles thought for a moment and then said, "Well, knowing Willow wouldn't you say that she probably used one of those infernal machines to plan where she was going to go. Or using one even now. We should ask Jenny. She'd be the only one able to track her."

"Track who?"

Fortuitously, Giles and Angel turned around to see Ms. Calendar coming into the library. Quickly they filled her in on the situation and she went to work immediately.

With Giles leaning over Ms. Calendar's shoulder, both for curiosity and for other reasons that were none of Angel's business, Angel had nothing better to do than pace back and forth across the library. He happened to look in Giles office and a picture caught his eye. It was a picture of Buffy, Xander, Willow and Giles looking happy and carefree. Picking up the photo, his gaze was drawn to Willow.

He felt his heart contract painfully. Angel could hardly believe that Willow had left him. He had barely finished reading her good- bye letter before he was out the door, desperately trying to see if he could find her and stop her. But he had already been too late. He had searched continuously for a month, but four days ago he returned back to Rome after criss-crossing Europe feeling defeated.

Yet after only one night of imagining her in all the places they had been to together, after only one day of staying in what had become their home, he left again. It was then that he had decided to come back to Sunnydale. He didn't quite know why, but he felt the key to finding Willow was here.

He glanced at the picture again and focused on Buffy. When he had left Sunnydale, it had felt like he was leaving a part of himself behind. She had been the first person he had cared about in so long. His love for Buffy had been a love in its beginning stages but desperate and very real. There would have been so much to overcome, yet it was dangerous and exciting to want what was denied them. It had been an intense relationship.

But now coming back and seeing her only confirmed what he had already known. He would always care for Buffy and admire her courage, character and beauty, but he just didn't love her anymore.

Not the way he loved Willow.

He shifted his focus to look at Willow again. He looked ruefully at her image. Vampires didn't have reflections and they certainly didn't have their pictures taken. < There aren't going to be any more photos to capture her sweet smile, or the brightness of her eyes, or the red halo of her hair. >

Angel laughed mockingly at himself for rhapsodizing over his love.

Ever since Willow had kissed him with the most innocent, yet the most stirring kiss he'd ever been given, Angel realized that he had fallen in love with her. The kiss had deeply touched and awed him. It had been the spark that made him realize the truth. Somewhere along the line he had unknowingly fallen in love with her. For Willow was able to look at him with an almost piercing clarity. Really look at him. She had a way of seeing past years of carefully constructed defenses designed to protect his wounded heart, his battered soul. She had discovered a breach in his security and had slipped right in when he wasn't looking. And through her, he discovered that love was not only about fierce emotions and physical attraction, but also the day-to-day caring and quiet connection between two souls.

< She loves Xander, though. > The thought knifed through Angel.

Willow had always been very honest, almost transparent about her feelings for Xander. When it had come to Buffy, Angel had been a little jealous of Xander. The boy's patent crush on Buffy not withstanding, Xander could be there for Buffy in the daylight where Angel himself could not, in ways he could not. Now his jealousy of Xander threatened to choke Angel with its intensity. When he had first seen Xander the other day, Angel had wanted to thrash him for just existing.

< That boy didn't even realize what was right under his nose. Willow's love for him was something he took for granted. I would never do that. Not if she loved me! >

A girl like Willow would never love lightly. Her loves and her loyalties were constant. That was why despite Angel's love for her, he had not allowed himself to tell her.

He closed his eyes. < I thought I had time, time for Willow to maybe change her feelings toward me. I didn't want to rush things. She had been through so much in the last year. I didn't want to add my love as a possible burden to her if she didn't return my feelings. Besides I was still happy being there for her, being with her. >

Angel had had the expectation that they could just continue as they had in Rome. Because, although he wanted so much to show his love to Willow, for the first time in over 80 years and perhaps even in his whole long life-time, he had had a true friendship. Willow's companionship had lit his world with new and wonderous emotions. They had done everything together and could talk about anything. During their time together in Rome he had felt happier than in any time he could ever remember.

Besides he had felt he could afford to be patient. They would have lifetimes together. So he thought he could wait and hope for her to develop deeper feelings. But then the week before Willow had left, he had known that something had changed and before he knew it she was gone. Her farewell letter to him was so bitterly ironic. His heart was not in Sunnydale.

It was wherever Willow was.

Angel whispered longingly at her image in the photograph, "Where are you Willow?"