Disclaimer: They're not mine. They belong to Mr. Whedon.
Gone and Surviving
By: Nicollette Marquis McFadgen
Part 2
Willow smiled lightly as she stooped down to smell a rose. She missed seeing things in the daylight, but she had gotten use to the moonlight. As she began to pick flowers she thought about the past year and what had transpired within that year. She was a little surprised to find that she was no longer angry and sad when she thought about it. She was fortunate to have Angel. He looked over her with unquestionable love and loyalty. He hadn't even made a fuss when she said that she had wanted to never leave this place. She had thought that he would've objected to her wanting solitude, but he hadn't. He accepted everything she wanted and gave fully to her.
Willow had just bent down to pick another flower when she heard a voice call out her name. She straightened. The smile faded from her lips. That voice, she knew that voice. Then another voice called out. They were coming from behind her, she was afraid to turn around.
Angel saw Willow straighten and freeze. He was too far away to hear her name being called, but he knew something wasn't right. He left his perch and began to make his way out to the garden.
"Willow?" A third voice called. Willow slowly turned around to face who ever was there. As she saw the figures, the flowers dropped from her hands. She saw Buffy, Xander, Cordelia, and Giles standing before her. She let out a whimper, and backed up a few feet.
"Willow, it's us. You know, your buds. What's wrong?" Xander asked as he moved forward with an outstretched arm. That was when Willow turned, ran back towards the house, and yelled out for Angel.
She slammed into Angel and they both fell to the ground. "What is it, Willow? What's wrong?" Willow could not answer, she just made a few vowel sounds and nodded in the direction she had run from.
"Okay," Angel started as he helped her up. "Stay behind me." They began walking. He could hear muffled voices and heartbeats. Humans. Willow clutched at his arm as they continued to walk.
When she had finally found her voice, she tugged on his arm. "Angel, let's just go back to the house. Please?" She received no answer. Both she and Angel jumped when four figures emerged from the bushes. She felt Angel freeze.
"B-Buffy?" He managed to get out.
"Angel!" The blond slayer exclaimed as she ran to him. He returned her fierce embrace. He broke away from the hug when he felt Willow's hand leave his arm and heard her quick footsteps. He turned to stop her, but she was already far ahead of them.
"Come on, let's go." He said as he slowly walked back to the house. The four newcomers followed, all wondering what was wrong with Willow.
As they neared the house, Xander finally asked, "What's up with Willow? Why'd she run away?"
"She's, uh, just not used to people." He held the door open for the unexpected and uninvited guests. "The sitting room is through there," he pointed towards a short hallway. He glanced up at the stairs and saw a piece of white fabric sticking out from behind a wall. Willow was hiding, but not very well. As if she sensed that Angel knew where she was, the fabric disappeared and Angel heard soft footsteps as she retreated to her room.
In the sitting room Angel motioned for them all to sit. Everyone sat but Buffy, who was standing very close to Angel, too close for his comfort. He moved away, trying to act nonchalant about it. He turned to Giles, "What are you doing here? How'd you find us? Why didn't you reply to the email that I sent you? They know?" He motioned to the teenagers. "You told them? Are Willow's parents all right? Do they know the truth too?"
Giles looked a bit flustered to be faced with so many questions at once. "Um, well, you see, the children found Willow's diary. They figured everything out, but then came to me to, uh, fill, fill in the blanks. Willow's family believes that she is dead. They moved away from Sunnydale three months after..." He took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I got the message from you and well, we had Ms. Calendar trace the origin of it. We wanted to see you. Buffy and Xander and I needed to know that you both were fine."
"Yes, well, I told you that we were fine in the email. Why did you come? Why did you come with out warning?"
Xander spoke up and answered the questions, "We were going to reply to the letter, but I accidentally hit some 'special' button that made it all go away. It's my fault. And we needed to SEE that you and Willow were fine, not read it."
"Angel," Buffy was standing next to him again. She took his hand in hers and continued, "We needed to see you again. We needed to see Willow again." Angel stepped away from Buffy and pulled his hand back. Buffy's face displayed hurt and disappointment. "Why aren't you glad to see us? Why won't you hold my hand?"
Angel looked down at his feet. "I am glad to see you, all of you, but it's Willow, she doesn't want to be around people. Especially not you." He silently hoped that she would not press the latter question.
"Wait, why?" Cordelia asked. "I mean, we're her friends, well, at least they are."
"With no one around, she can control the demon. There is no one for her to hunt. And no one to remind her that she's not human."
"She, she doesn't want to see us?" Xander asked in a quiet voice.
Angel shook his head. "After we found out that the Rom were gone, I asked her if she wanted to go back to Sunnydale, and she said that she couldn't be around you guys because she was no longer apart of the gang and would always be reminded of what she is." He put a hand on Xander's shoulder, "I'm sorry. She does care about you all, but I think that this is just too much for her. She's just really gotten used to being what she is." After a long pause Angel sighed. "Well, I guess you're staying here for the night. We don't have any food in the house, but there is a small vegetable patch and orchard a couple yards from the house. I think there's some tea in the pantry. I've got to go talk to Willow now; maybe I can talk her into visiting with you. I'll fix up some rooms for you later." With that he exited the room.
"Well, so far this is fun." Cordelia commented dryly.
"Why is she here again?" Xander asked with annoyance.
"'Cause it's MY daddy's corporate jet that flew you here."
"Wow, Angel was acting weird, huh?" Buffy asked no one in particular.
"Well," Giles answered, "We haven't seen him in a year. I'm beginning to think that our surprise visit wasn't such a good idea after all."
Upstairs, Angel knocked gently on the door to Willow's room. Even though they shared a bed at night, they both had their own room. Angel's hand of the doorknob confirmed what he had expected. It was locked. He knocked again, this time using more force. "Willow. Please, let me in."
"Don't you have guests to entertain?"
"Willow, I didn't know they were coming. Do you think if I knew that they were coming that I wouldn't tell you?" The door opened. Willow stood there with tear tracks on her cheeks.
"You wrote to them with out telling me," she said accusingly.
"I wanted to surprise you with news about them. I just thought that you wanted to know how they were doing. Can I come in?" Willow made a sweeping gesture with her arms, allowing Angel in. "Don't you even want to talk to them? They've traveled all this way to see you."
"Well, they shouldn't have," she said sinking down on to her bed.
"Well, that is inconsequential. The fact is they are here now. And they want to speak to you." Angel climbed up on the bed next to her.
"Well, I don't feel like visiting right now. I'm tired and hungry."
"I'll get you some blood. Will you talk with them tomorrow?"
"Maybe. But I think that Buffy'll be more interested in talking to you."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Exactly what it does. It's okay, you know. You can be with her now that she's here. I understand. I was probably just a poor substitute for her anyway."
"Willow, what the hell are you talking about? I'm yours. You're the only one I want, and I'll explain that to Buffy."
"Just get me something to eat, please. I think about whether I want to see them tomorrow."
"Willow, just deal with it. They're here and you have to deal with it. Quit acting like you're a child. If you want something to eat, you know where the blood is." Angel got off the bed and headed for the door.
"I can hear their heartbeats." Angel stopped. "I can feel the demon struggling to gain control. It's telling me to let go and feed on their warm fresh blood."
"Oh Willow, I..."
"I'm not sure I'll be able to control it if I'm any closer to them. Angel, I'm hungry."
"I'll be right back with some blood. Just stay put, I'll be back."
Downstairs, Angel found the four visitors still in the sitting room, talking quietly. Cordelia was seated next to Xander, with Buffy and Giles pacing. Angel noticed how close Xander was sitting to Cordelia and wondered if there was a little something going on between them.
Buffy was first to notice that Angel had reappeared. She moved closer to dark vampire, while he casually backed away from her. "How's Willow?" Giles asked, voice full of concern.
"She's hungry, I just came down to get her some..."
Xander looked up and finished his sentence. "Blood?"
"Yeah. Listen, she's not going to come down tonight. She might talk with you guys tomorrow, but I'm not promising anything. This is hitting her harder than I thought." Buffy moved closer to her former boyfriend. Feeling uncomfortable, but not able to move farther away from the blond girl, Angel continued, "Tomorrow you all can go down to the store and pick of some supplies, uh, that is food for yourselves. You're welcome to stay here until you can get a flight back. All I ask is that you try to stay out of the way for now. I don't want Willow any more upset than she is."
"Do you think she'll talk to us?" Xander asked hopefully.
"I think she'll give in. When do you think you'll be able to arrange a flight home?"
Cordelia began to answer, "Well, actually my daddy..." Xander quickly put a hand over her mouth, smiled, and continued to answer. "Her father let us use his jet to get here, it won't be back for at least a week or so."
"A week?" Angel sighed. "Well, I'll make up the rooms after I get her some blood." He turned to exit the room when Giles followed him he stopped.
Giles placed a hand on Angel's arm and quietly spoke. "You've done well with taking care of her. I'm sorry if we've made things worse for you and for her. We'll try to stay out of the way." Angel just nodded and walked towards the kitchen.
Giles turned and regarded the three teenagers. "Well, I'm hungry, and it'll be a little while until he's got the rooms made up for us, so why don't we go out to the orchard?"
"Xander, why did you tell him that we couldn't leave for a week? Daddy's jet is just sitting at the airport."
"Cordy, if I had let you tell him that, we would've had to leave like tomorrow, and I want more time to talk to Willow."
After Angel had delivered the blood to Willow, explained how long their guests would be staying, assured her that it would be okay, and made up four rooms, he went out to the orchard. He wasn't happy about playing host, but it was obvious that Willow wasn't up to it and he couldn't just leave the four to themselves.
"Angel?" He turned to find Buffy standing behind him. "How are you doing? I've, uh, I've missed you."
"I've missed you too."
"We should talk," she said as she took his hand.
"Yeah," this time he did not take his hand back. "We should." He led her over to a stone bench where they sat down. Not knowing how to start the conversation, he nodded with his head towards Xander and Cordelia, who where sitting in the grass very close together. "What's up with them? Are they..."
"Yep. Strange, I know. It just sort of happened. One day they were fighting, as usual, then the next thing I know, they were all over each other. Right there, in front of Giles and me. Talk about giving someone the wiggins."
Angel smiled at the thought, but it soon faded when he remembered Willow. "I think they should try and not do that while they're here. I mean, with Willow and all."
"Oh yeah, she's probably still in love with him. Is she still in love with him?"
"I, I don't think so, but we haven't really discussed her feelings for him lately."
"Angel? Do you love me?" Rather than give him an opportunity to answer, she quickly began to babble. "I mean, I'm still very much in love with you. And I think what you've done for Willow is great. I've almost completely forgiven you for leaving without saying goodbye. And you and Willow could come back to Sunnydale and we could be together again." She raised her hand to brush the side of his cheek.
Angel covered her hand with his and began, "Buffy, I..." Buffy wouldn't let him finish; she placed her lips over his. Angel couldn't help but kiss back, but after thirty seconds of passionate kissing, he once again remembered Willow and pulled away. "Buffy, I can't. I love you, but I'm not in love with you. There's no other way to say this, but Willow and I are, well we're together." He silently waited for her response.
"Oh," was all she said as she got up and walked toward where Xander and Cordy were making out. Giles, who was standing behind Angel, cleared his throat. Angel acknowledged him and motioned for the librarian to sit down.
"Well, that didn't go well," Angel commented almost to himself.
"I don't think this is exactly the reunion that she had imagined."
"No, I guess not," Angel replied glumly.
"I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but, well, I did hear. You and Willow are, uh, together then?"
"Yes. It sort of just happened. I couldn't tell you how or when I fell in love with her, I just did."
"There is no need for you to explain anything to me, Angel. I had actually thought that it might happen. I, of course, hate what this is going to do or is doing to Buffy, but as Willow's friend and as yours, I accept it. You really have done an exceptional job at looking after her."
"I don't consider it a job. It's what I want to do." For the first time Angel turned to Giles and regarded him seriously. "The Anointed One. Has Buffy killed him yet?"
"Huh? Oh, yes, Colin. She fought him a while ago. It was fierce, but she won. He's dead. But then another vampire took his place. It seems to never end."
"I'm glad to hear that he's dead, for her sake," he said nodding up to a window on the second floor of the house. He was surprised to see Willow looking out over them. He wondered just how long she had been watching. "Well, your rooms are ready," he said as he stood up. "There are four of them on the right side of the hall on the second floor. The bathroom is straight down the hall, all the way at the end. I'm going to check on Willow again. We'll talk more tomorrow." He started to walk away, then turned to Giles once more, "Please tell Buffy that I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt her in any way."
Once again Angel found himself knocking on Willow's locked door.
"What do you want, Angel?"
"I want to talk to you, precious."
"Don't call me that."
"What's wrong now?"
"Don't ask me what's wrong, you know what's wrong."
"Willow, I'm tired of this, let me in."
"No, you have your own room."
"I can break down this door, you know."
"Yeah, and I can, well, I can do something that'll make it hard for you to break it." She knew she had lost this battle. She slowly opened the door. "Happy?"
"No." He slipped inside and closed the door. "Why are you so angry."
"Oh, I don't know, maybe because there are people here. And those people were once my best friends. And maybe because I'm a vampire and all I think of doing is slashing their throats and drinking their blood. And maybe because Xander is out there making out with Cordelia, which is completely disgusting, and you were out there kissing Buffy."
"Buffy kissed me."
"Yeah, and you were really trying to get away."
"Hey, I did end it, and so okay, I got a little caught up in it at first, give me a break."
"Fine," she said as she picked up a vase and threw it at the dark haired vampire.
"Hey! Quit that!" He managed to say as he dodged the vase. While Willow was looking for more ammunition, Angel came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her to the ground. She struggled, using all of her vampiric strength. She finally resorted to biting his hand. "Ow! Damn, that hurts! Willow, quit it!" He pulled his hand away from her mouth. She crawled away and licked her lips.
"Willow, someday you're going to have to grow up, you know."
Willow looked at her lover defiantly. "Yeah, well I've got all of eternity to grow up, I only had sixteen years to be a kid. Why don't you 'give me a break'," she returned with a snarl.
Angel let out an exasperated sigh. "Well, I'm all out of ideas. So you tell me what it is that you want, and we'll work from there."
"I want to go back to being able to walk outside during the day. I want to see what I look like. I want to have my mom wake me up for school each morning. I want to see my parents. I want to be human again. But it's not going to happen."
"Willow, I know that you want all that. And believe me, I am sorry that I can't give that to you. But I was actually asking about what you wanted to do in this present situation. I know that you're still young, and I'm not saying you have to grow up right now, but I need you to act mature. Do you think that I want them here? Everything was fine, you were accepting things more and more, we were getting on well, now, it's like it was right after you were first turned." Willow slowly crawled back over to Angel and picked up his still bleeding, but healing hand and held it to her lips. Her pink tongue flicked out and over the wound she had caused. This elicited a moan from Angel as he closed his eyes.
"I'm sorry," she murmured as she began to suck at the lesion. She began to undo his pants and whispered, "Forgive me?"
Angel managed to choke out, "Willow, I don't think, oh... that we should. Do this. With people here."
Willow turned her head from side to side, looking about the room. "I see no people here. Just you and me." She had succeeded in removing all of his clothes without him even realizing.
"Willow, I... oh," he lost his concentration when he felt her hands on his painfully hard erection. Willow stood and removed the white nightgown and peered down at her lover. She began to lower herself onto him, when he found his voice again. "Willow, no. I don't think we should. We have company. They can hear."
Willow stood up again, looking more angry then hurt. "What you don't want BUFFY to hear? Afraid that if she hears, that it'll mess up your chances with her?" she yelled. She went over to a large oak wardrobe and flung open the doors. She found a simple green dress and slipped it on. Looking down, she also found more ammunition.
Angel had just begun to get up and put his pants back on when a shoe came flying through the air, hitting him square in the head, thus knocking him back down to the floor. "Willow! Stop that!" Another shoe, this time with a high heel, hit him in the back. "Dammit, Willow, that hurt." A boot was next to hit him. "Now that's enough!" He yelled as he struggled to regain his footing.
Willow saw that he was coming towards her, so she grabbed another porcelain vase that was resting next to the wardrobe. "Don't come any closer," she yelled. "I'll throw it." He slowed down, but did not stop. He kept on towards her, calling her bluff. She backed away, along the wall, heading towards the door. She threw the vase at Angel, but he was prepared, he blocked the flying object with his arms. It landed on the floor with a loud crack.
