Disclaimer: They're not mine. They belong to Mr. Whedon.
Gone and Surviving
By: Nicollette Marquis McFadgen
Part 3
Downstairs the quartet sat uneasily as they listened to the fight going on above. Fruit and vegetables were lying unwashed in the sink; the visitors too enthralled by the argument to do much but listen. At the sound of Willow's voice screaming, "Don't come any closer," Xander bolted from his chair, trying to make his way to his long lost best friend. Giles restrained him, adding, "It won't help. It's not your business to interfere."
"But Willow. She's, she could be hurt. Angel could be hurting her."
"No," Buffy spoke up. "He's not. Xander she and Angel are... well, she and Angel are, um, together." Her voice trailed off at the end.
"What? I know they're together, I mean they..." Cordelia elbowed him in the ribs, and he finally clued in. "Oh. You mean they're TOGETHER together." He looked down at his feet, hurt. As a tear fell from his eye, he looked back up. "That doesn't mean that he's not hurting her."
Giles patted the boy on the shoulder. "Angel wouldn't hurt her, you know that Xander. I have a feeling that this," he motioned to the noise above them, "is caused by us."
Willow kicked and scratched and bit, trying to get away from Angel, who now held her in a frightfully tight grip. "Let me go!" She screamed at the top of her lungs.
"No, you'll just start throwing things again."
"Angel, let me go!" She began to struggle harder against his strong arms. They were sitting on the ground, Angel with both arms and legs wrapped tightly around the squirming girl.
"What are you going to do if I let you go?"
"I don't know, let me up and we'll find out."
"Nope. Wrong answer, precious."
"Don't call me that. In fact, don't call me that ever again." She was still yelling while she began to bite his hand again.
He pulled his hand roughly away. "You know, I'm not letting you go until you calm down. We can sit like this for hours. Pretty soon, you're going to be mighty embarrassed about the way you're acting."
"And how do you know that? Angel, you're not my father..."
"I know that! But you're acting like a child, so I'm treating you like one, and if that means I have to act like your father, then so be it." Willow stilled within his grasp. She nuzzled back against Angel and closed her eyes.
"I'm sorry." She whispered as he began to rock her back and forth.
He used his non-bleeding hand to brush the hair from her face. "I know you are. It's okay, Willow, we will get through this."
"I know." She opened her eyes as he loosened his hold on her. "If I promise to talk to them tomorrow, will you let go of me?"
"Yes," he replied as he unwrapped himself from her. She scooted away from him and slowly stood up. She patted the dress down, as if getting herself together. She headed for the door. As her hand reached for the knob, Angel asked, "Where are you going?"
"For a walk." She opened the door.
"There's only about a half hour until sunrise." He said matter of factly.
Willow arched her eyebrow, "Really?" She took off running down the hall.
"Damn!" The tall vampire realized that he had just been played and that she was threatening to kill herself again. "I'm really getting tired of this," he said to himself as he took off after her.
Flying down the stairs, he ran into his guests. "Willow. Did she go outside?"
"Yes. What were you doing to her?" Xander angrily asked as he noticed Angel's appearance. He had no shirt on, his hair was ruffled, and his pants were undone.
"I wasn't doing anything to her. She's..."
Giles interrupted, "Angel, there's not much time until daylight, why did she...?" Angel answered the unfinished question with a glare. "Oh. Oh my! We must find her."
Without another word, the vampire, the Watcher, and the three teens went out in search of their friend. Unsurprisingly, Angel was the one to find her. With his heightened senses, she was easy to find. He found her struggling to open the outside gate.
"Willow, please, come back inside. It's going to be light out soon."
"Wow, ya think?" was all she said in reply.
Angel took her by the arms and began dragging her back to the house. "I'm tired of this Willow. You're not going to kill yourself." He paused to readjust his hold on the struggling, young vampire. "I'm tired of chasing after you, and I'm tired of you acting like this. Now you WILL talk to your friends tomorrow. I don't care if you don't want to, you're going to do it, even if I have to tie you up."
When they came within ten yards from the mansion, Angel picked Willow up and slung her over his shoulder. Walking past the humans, who had all made it back to see the struggle, Angel entered the house, climbed the stairs, and entered Willow's room. Her threw her down onto the bed. "There's not much else for you to throw at me. Don't make me restrain you. Now get some sleep."
Willow watched as Angel crossed the room and took a seat in a chaise lounge chair. "Angel?" He looked up. "I'm hungry again."
"You'll just have to wait until tomorrow. I'm not leaving you alone, and I don't figure you'd behave well enough to come downstairs with me."
"Why'd they have to come here?"
"Because they're your friends, and they love you and care about you." Angel could hear her silent sobs. He wanted to go and comfort her, but he knew he had to be strong and firm. He couldn't baby her any longer.
Once he was sure that she was asleep, Angel quietly slipped out of Willow's room. He set out about finding the others. He found them all in one of the bedrooms speaking very quietly about what they've seen so far. He knock on the semi open door then pushed it farther open.
"May I come in?"
"Of course," came Giles' reply. "How, uh, how is she?"
"She's sleeping. After sundown, she'll talk to you." He advanced further into the room. "Listen, I'm sorry about all this. She's, she normally doesn't act like this."
"You mean she normally doesn't try to off herself?" Xander asked with tension oozing off of him.
"No, she hasn't since the night I told her that the Rom were extinct. She's been doing a lot better. I think it's just been a shock to see all of you again. And I, well, I'm at fault here too. I've babied her; I've kept the outside from coming in. Instead of teaching her how to control the demon, I've just withheld temptation." He turned to Giles, "Remember how we thought that because she didn't accept the blood, that it was forced into her, that the demon couldn't invade her body? Well, we were wrong. The demon's in there. It just hasn't had a real reason to come out. But now, with you here and so close to her," he turned away. "I thought I was helping her. That's why I agreed to let her stay here, and not have to go out."
Giles placed a hand on Angel's shoulder, "You've done well, Angel. You have nothing to feel bad about."
"Giles, Dead Boy here always has something to feel bad about. That's why he's Angst Boy," Xander commented.
Angel smiled at hearing Xander not only call him Dead Boy but also Angst Boy. "You know, Xander believe it or not, I've actually missed you calling me that."
Xander stood and smiled, "I know, I read the email." He crossed to where Angel was standing and held out his hand. "Thank you for taking care of her. And Giles is right, you've done a good job. Don't feel bad about that." Angel was genuinely moved by the boy's statement. He took Xander's hand in his and shook it.
"Well as moving as this all is," Cordelia piped up, "I'm tired and everyone here looks like they could use their beauty sleep, so get out of my room."
"Your room?" Xander asked defiantly.
"Yeah, I already claimed it, Cheesehead."
"Cheesehead? You know, Cordy, your cute little names are beginning to sting."
Giles, Buffy and Angel all ignored the pseudo fight and left the room, mumbling their goodnights. Giles headed off to another room, leaving Angel to walk Buffy to a vacant room. When they reached it, he stopped outside the door.
"You can come in, you know, it's your house."
"It's best that I don't." When Buffy looked down to inspect her shoes, he nudged her chin up with his hand. "Buffy, I didn't do this to hurt you. I want you to be okay with this."
She looked up and smiled. "I know. I know you didn't want to hurt me. But it does. Hurt, that is. I'm okay. What matters the most is that Willow is okay. And once I know that, I may even be happy for the two of you. It's just that, I always imagined you and me playing house in a big mansion, not you and Willow. It's, it's hard, you know?"
"I know. I do care for you, Buffy. I always will." He placed a chaste kiss on her forehead.
She smiled up at him, "Goodnight Angel."
"Night Buffy."
Angel slipped into Willow's room noiselessly. He changed into his silk pajama bottoms, and slid in next to her sleeping form on the bed. She rolled over to face him and said quietly, still sleeping, "Hold me, Angel." Wrapping his arms around the slight girl, he kissed her forehead and drifted off to sleep.
When sundown came, Angel did his usual walk about the house. Not surprisingly, the guests were still sleeping. Jet lag and last night's dramatics had most likely taken it's toll. He got some blood for Willow and himself and went back upstairs.
To wake the still sleeping vampire, Angel placed butterfly kisses all over Willow's face. Her eyes came fluttering open. She smiled, then remembered last night's events. Her smile faded. "Do I have to see them?"
"Yes, now get up. We can eat, then we'll go for our walk and discuss how well you're going to behave for the remainder of their visit."
"Yes, Daddy Angel," she said sarcastically as she slipped from the bed. She crossed the room and sat down at her vanity. She looked at the blank mirror. "Do you think I'll ever get used to not having a reflection?"
"In time," he answered, coming to stand behind her. He picked up the hairbrush and began to slowly sweep it against her auburn hair.
"What do you think they think of me?"
"I think they think that you're Willow. They're not here to judge you." Willow just sighed. "Oh, I forgot to tell you last night, but Giles told me that Buffy fought Colin. He's dead." Willow just made a "hmm" sound in response. "Doesn't that make you happy?"
"Sure."
"Are you going to mope and brood forever?"
"Maybe just for eighty or ninety years, like you did. So does Xander know about us?"
"I think so. Buffy or Giles probably told him. Are you still upset about him and Cordelia?" He asked as he finished brushing her hair.
"Yes."
"You, you still love him?"
"Of course I do. But that's not why I'm upset."
"Then why?"
"One, she's our childhood nemesis. I mean, we had the 'We Hate Cordelia Club' and everything. Why'd he have to go out and date her? Why not Buffy, or someone I like?"
"Maybe she's changed."
"Right. And I'm still mortal," she snorted. Second, he supposedly came all this way to see me, and yet he sits there at our house making out with her. Isn't that the least bit rude?"
"Well first, I don't think he thought that you were spying on him from your window, and second, you wouldn't see him, so what was he supposed to do?"
"Moon and pine away for me."
"Willow, come on. He's your best friend. Be happy that he has someone."
Willow stood up and sent a glance towards the bags of blood that sat on the dresser near the door. "You hungry?" Angel asked.
Willow shrugged, "Not really."
"You're usually hungry when you wake up, and last night you said you were hungry, remember?"
"Well, I'm not hungry now. Let's just go out for our walk. Are they up yet?" she asked as she pulled off the green dress she was wearing and tugged on some jeans.
Angel and Willow returned from their walk to find the group had gone. They had left a note telling Angel and Willow that they had gone to the store and would be back shortly since the small family owned store would most likely be closing for the evening very soon.
Willow made a sound of disapproval. "What? You want your friends to starve?"
"No. I just want to get this whole visit thing over with. And now I have to wait. I don't want to wait."
"Aw, poor baby," Angel teased. "I know what we could do to make the waiting less annoying for you." He grabbed her tiny hips and pressed her against him. He began nibbling at her neck. When she didn't respond, he lifted his head and implored her
with his eyes.
She did not respond to his unasked, but very clear question. She just walked across the room and sat on the couch. Angel followed her and kneeled at her feet. His hands found her legs and began rubbing them through the jeans. His hands tried to make their way to her inner thighs, but she wouldn't help. She kept her legs tightly closed.
"Willow..."
"What, Angel?" she asked with impatience. He noticed her tone, got up and took a seat next her on the sofa. He let out a sigh of frustration.
He noticed that she was rubbing her temples with her eyes closed. "Vampires don't get headaches," he commented.
Her eyes opened and focused on him. "Well, in case you have had a lapse of consciousness, O Forgetful One, I'm not a normal vampire. Remember, I was taken against my will, tortured, sucked dry of blood, injected with vampire's blood. Any of this coming back to you? You know, in the beginning, I could walk around during the day without frying, it took a while for my reflection to fade away into oblivion, and I don't have a game face. I'm what you call a hybrid? Are you starting to recall?"
"Whatever, Willow."
"Don't get upset with me. You're the one who makes those dumb little comments about what does or doesn't happen to normal vampires."
"Fine."
"I'm just merely reminding you that what Colin did to me had never been done before, so your little rules of the undead don't exactly apply."
"Yeah, Willow, I know," Angel replied, a little more than annoyed. "I was there. I remember. I was the one that saved you, or did YOU forget that?"
"Oh, yeah, thanks for saving me. Thanks for helping me become the vamp that I am."
"What are you talking about?"
"At least if I had stayed with Colin, I could just be evil. I wouldn't have to pretend otherwise."
"Willow, you're not evil."
"Um, we're demons, Angel, okay? Look it up."
"I don't understand why you're being so damn rude to me. Haven't I been good to you?"
"Oh yeah, you've been great. You treat your toys really well. It must be nice to have someone to dress and take care of and have around when ever you're in need of a fuck."
"That's enough, Willow! I won't stand for..."
"Ahem," Giles cleared his throat as the two vampires looked up. They had been so involved in fighting that they failed to notice the four people standing, gawking with grocery bags in their hands.
"Oh, your back," Angel recovered. "We were just..."
"Yeah, we heard what you were just," Buffy said as she stared at Willow. She hadn't ever seen Willow like that.
For her part, Willow just sat with her arms crossed over her chest looking at her lap.
Xander handed the bag that he was holding to Cordelia, who only protested for tradition's sake. He advanced further into the room, walking slow and deliberate. "Hey, Wills. I was hoping that I'd get to see you today," he said carefully.
She looked up and gave him a tight-lipped smile. "Yeah, well here I am. Ready to visit." She drew her legs up under her. "Sit down, all of you. We can catch up." Angel tried to put his hand atop of hers, in show of approval and support, but she drew her hand quickly away.
Once the groceries were put quickly away and everyone had found a seat and settled in, Buffy began the conversation. "It's really great to see you, Willow." Willow just gave a small smile as if to show that she to was happy to see them.
"Yes, the library hasn't been the same without you," Giles added.
Xander spoke up, "Yeah and you should see my math grades, they are quite lacking without your help." Willow just nodded while she looked around the room at nothing particular.
"So, Willow. What's new with you?" Cordy asked, immediately wishing that she could take it back.
Willow drew a breath that she didn't really need. "Well, I'm a vampire. That's pretty new. Other than that, my life's been pretty boring, how about you?" Angel strategically cleared his throat. Willow continued, "So, Cordelia, how's the pep squad? Buffy, how's the slaying? Xander, how's your pursuit of personal happiness going? And Giles, how's that beautiful library doing?"
"A- actually slaying is going good," Buffy said when it was obvious that no one else knew how to respond. "I got rid of the Anointed One awhile back."
"So I heard. Congradulations."
"Um, thanks. So, uh, what's the vampire scene like around here?"
"Oh, just two that I know of." Willow looked down then back up as she decided to ask, "Has anyone seen my family? I mean, do you know if they're okay?"
Xander answered, "Oh, they're fine. Well, as good as they can be. They still think that you're... dead."
"Well, they're not wrong."
"They moved," Xander continued, "to Washington State."
"My dad must've finally accepted that promotion," Willow said quietly.
"Yeah, they write to me every now and then. Apparently they're doing all right. You're mom wrote and told me that they're fostering children now to, you know, keep their minds off of...you."
"Did I have a funeral?"
Buffy fielded this question. "Yes, it was, uh, well, I guess it was nice. They put tons of lilacs on your casket, since they were your favorite. There were so many people there. Even Principal Synder came. Your mom and dad got you this beautiful headstone. It has a bible verse on it. It's Joshua, chapter one, verse nine. I read it. It'' nice. Your mom said that it was your favorite when you were a little girl. Anyway, your headstone is beautiful. It has an etching of a..." She stopped as Willow got up and walked out of the room.
