Ramble in the Brain

Ramble in the Brain

Under construction...

My life is boring. Dont expect too much from this.

December 2005

Haven't updated this since 5 years ago. Wow, time flies. A lot of happened in between. I now have a LL.B. They now have blogs, which is basically what I have been doing a few years back. I have been to Europe and Asia in 2003 and now I'm going to Peru. It should be fun.

August 2000

School has started already. But not me. Just came back from a trip in the Rockies. A very interesting one I might say. Met a few nice people, went to some nice places. It's gonna be my last semester this fall...

October 30th, 2000 - 5:45 am

It snowed yesterday. Yeah, already. big snow. about 10-15 cm. i shouldnt complain (too much), we had such a mild nice week last week. I`m still awake. Yesterday I slept at 7:30. but in reality its 8:30. am. i wanted to sleep early today. but then i went on that homepage. checked it out. peeked at the diary. finally read it all, its only one page, but one webpage. the kind that can be as long as ... really long. took about 1h and half to get through. but it was interesting. i think its not just me, people are curious by nature. a diary can say a lot on a person, feelings, character, ambitions and more. its like a written movie of someone that is not an actor/actress. and the movie is based on a real story, actually it's the real story. anyhow, i dont know, its just nice to discover someone. thats why i like human watching. i dont know if its called like that. that person read the Brave New World, surprinsingly enough, i just happen to be reading this book right now. Isn`t that a coincidence? and im not done with it yet. I borrowed it from the library. I borrowed both the french and english. I usually read in french, so i read the english one, and if i dont get it, i can look in the french one. cause its pretty litterary thing. then the due date arrived and i havent finished the preface yet (midterms were coming). so i returned them and then after midterms, i took the english one. im into chapter 4 now. the book kind of reminds me about 1984 (the book). utopia is so utopic. and there's a mention about The little prince too. that one, i remembered we kinda read it in elementary school. its considered a classic. a story about a little prince, his rose, a fox, and a sheep. and something else. and she talked about other interesting stuffs too... the sun is about to wake up, time for me to go to bed. gosh, i cant continue like that!!

December 2000

Finally, school is over. Four years of hard work (more or less), has paid off. I think I'll miss school and campus life. Proud? sure. Satisfied? not as much as I'm supposed to.

An excitingnew year's eve. Beer, coffee and noodles with friends, and all the things in between.

February 2001

It's been one month I'm back home and it's been four weeks I'm eating fish. I'm starting to have enough of it (actually this feeling has started three weeks ago). But mom REALLY likes fishes.

Just finished Aldous Huxley's The Brave New World a few weeks ago. Good book. It took a little more than two months to finish it. I read the first half in English and the second half in French, not for fun, but i had no choice. Cause I borrowed it from my univeristy's library (the English version was available there) but I didn't had time to finish it and had to returned it. And then when i was back home, I couldn't find the english version so I took the french version. It's kind of weird to read like that but it was a pretty good reading. It's been a long time I haven't read something "deep". Then later, I read You belong to me, by Mary Higgins Clark. She's one of my favorite, her novels are always thrilling, and her suspenses just amazing.

Casablanca was on TV. I heard it many times, but it was the first time i saw it. I didnt know it was a black and white movie. I did not miss my chance and watched it from the begining till the end. Indeed it wasnt a bad movie. And the song "As time goes by" is a good one too.

Some people on the net are weird. Some people in real are weird too, but it might not be the same people. You know, you meet someone on a chat room or somewhere on the net, you start talking, chatting, emailing each other, then suddenly, for no apparent reason they would vanish without a trace. Does it only happen to me? I don't know why. Another strange thing I noticed. It's on ICQ, it happened to me a few times. I chat with a few friends, everything's cool, then suddenly, they would all leave at the same time. It might seem like a conspiracy but they don't even know each other. That's weird, almost spooky.

March 2001

What is tip for? Is it really to let the waiter/waitress know how we appreciated (or not) his/her service? Or is it a tax for using the restaurant? Or a way of showing to the people we are eating with how generous we are?? hmm..

Finally went to see "Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon". Even with my high expectation, it did not disappoint me. The only thing i didnt like about the movie is all that exagerating flyings/jumpings. So unreal, so fake. Or was it intended to be so? Perhaps it isnt unreal, but surreal. Besides that, it was very good, nice pictures, good acting, action and romance all in one.

Suddenly I have many many pillows on my bed, yet I only have one head. It's not four, as I first thought, not even five as I counted today, but six. I dont even have room to sleep now. I have to throw some of them on the floor if i want to sleep comfy. Even if i dont, they'll end up on the floor the next day anyway. Thats what happened today. I wonder where they came from.

Saw Chunking Express the other night on TV. So surprised it was actually in original cantonese version with french subtitles. Not the usual kind of movie, but I pretty much like it. There is something special about this movie, but i can't say what. It's been a long time I've heard of it. What's the chinese title of it?

Helped a friend to build a web page. Pretty hungry at the end of the day. Went to get some pizzas. I'd say the drink was better than the food.

Example of syllogism: Nice guys finish last. I'm a nice guy. Therefore I finish last.

It's been almost two months that i'm hibernating. You might think that only bears do that. No. Some people do that too. I'm not really hibernating, cause i didn't sleep the whole winter, stocking fat and sleeping in a well hidden place. I just decreased my social activities. Not that I had a lot before. I think im gonna call my friends next month, to let them know i'm alive. It's gonna surprise them. Oh, i can do that on april 1st, then im gonna scream april's fool and everybody's gonna laugh. And then we'd all go home happy.

I don't like talking to machines. You know those so called "answering machines"? well, try to ask them something, dont count on them to answer you. you are just gonna talk, but no one is gonna listen. (maybe, but very later). if you like that go ahead. why dont you talk to the walls, at least sometime they have ears. whenever i talked to one of those, im not feeling any interaction, its like you are talking alone. maybe thats why i dont like to leave message, unless its really urgent. Even the pagers. Maybe deep down inside, when i page someone, im hoping that the person will pick up the phone. But it never happened. It's getting late ok. Ok.

It feels bad when you think you did something wrong. It feels even worse when you are not even sure whether what you did was wrong or not. Maybe it was the right thing but at a bad moment.

April 2001

I read somewhere that life is a series of choices. And also that even if you don't choose you still choose, the choice being not to choose. I think I agree. "That guy at the right top corner, for the block" says the other one.

Just came back from Toronto. Didnt do much there, went to chinatown, pacific mall, market village, chinatown, pacific mall, ... fortunately i had the chance to walk a little bit at the back of the chinatown and i discovered a colorful neighborhood. People of different nationalities selling different things: juicy fruits, fresh meat, night gowns, beans, leather. There was a little park, some coffee shop, a bar, and a few stores selling what i would call retro/hippy stuffs. Nice place. It just feels good to go out of town, get some fresh air.

Funny how a good friday can also be a bad friday at the same time, and you dont even have to do anything.

~ Everything happens for a reason, but we might never know what that reason is. ~

May 2001

The weather has been so nice for the past couple of weeks. Just like summer. That freaks my friend out, cause she thinks they skipped the spring and that we are taking the nice weather of this summer, and when we really get to the summer, there wouldnt be any nice weather left. hmm...

I got a job. A part-time one. At a videostore. It has been my dream part-time job when i was a student. You know, relax, cool plus you got to see movies for free. But as a graduate student, thats not considered the best job. I guess i'll live with it until i find a real one. Now i'm thinking of adding a section for movies reviews in here. But then, some people might think i copy them...

I got in that volunteer association. I like it. People are nice and cool. Lots of young people too. And its more rewarding and useful than staying home watching TV. But I dont know anybody there.

I sat on a bench near downtown today, watching people walk by. Businessmen and women, university students, and other people. Noticed a few artworks i have never noticed before.

June 2001

I realized I like driving around. Alone in the dark. With music in the background.

~ Don't count on second chance. Grab the first one, and do like its your last one. ~

Went to Sherbrooke to get the paper. Then the next day went to Québec city. It's been about 7 or 8 years I havent been there. It was with a tour this time, so it was pretty rushing. Didnt really have time to just walk around and relax.

July 2001

Didn't have time to write much here lately. Unorthodox working hours and unregular sleeping hours can make people more tired than they are. Working at a videostore is not as fun as I first thought.

Took lunch with my friend from Vancouver and her friends. Didn't do much, but how much can you do in one hour anyway?

BBQ at home with lots of people I dont know. Then BBQ with a few friends I know, the next day, at the Hidden Lake. Played in the water and took a bath and a shampoo in the lake. It was cool (cold?) and fun.

Surprise, they are back. A good one. Show them around as much as I could. Had a great time...

Not being a people person doesn't make you a bad person.

Look forward to quit my job.

The world is small. Today I met my second grade's classmate's brother then right after I met my fifth grade's classmate's sister then later in the afternoon I met a guy I knew from college.

Got accepted into law school. Confused.

I believe "I'm not your type" is a nice way to say "You are not my type."

Finally quitting my job. It feels good.

~ People are always more wrong than they think. ~

August 2001

Renovation time. Busy.

Why is that some people would greet me on icq (people that are not on my list anymore cause i never talk to them or havent talk to them for a few months) and then when i add them on my list, i never see them online again.

Went on a 4 day North East America tour. Went to NYC, Philadelphia (stayed for about 2 hours), Washington, Atlantic city. Pretty tiring but get to see many places in a short period of time.

----------
Day 1

NYC: United Nations, they had something special about their post office, but i didnt really get it. Passed by downtown, Time Square and Broadway. Ate at chinatown but didnt had time to walk around. Then went to the top of World Trade Centre (highest building in New York). Even went on the roof and had a night view of the city.

Day 2

NYC: Statue of Liberty, gift from France for the United-States independance. Statue if 47 feet tall and pedestal is 46 feet tall, facing the Atlantic ocean, landmark not only of New York, but of the United-States as well. It was raining so it was wet.
Then went to Philadelphia. Stayed there for 1 hour. To see that building and that famous broken old bell. I waited 10 min in line to see the bell, but finally i decided to go to the washroom instead.
Bus to Washington, saw a little bit of Washington at night.

Day 3

Washington D.C. : There is a law that stipulates that no building should be taller than the Washington Monument (thats the high needlelike tour) which is 500 feet tall. Facing the monument is the Reflecting Pool and just further is the Lincoln Memorial. The White House is the residence of the president and is the one on an American 20$ bill. The nice building with the dome is the U.S. Capitol, not the White House, a mistake many people make. There are lots of museums in the area and they are all free. Didnt have time to seriously see them all, but still I manage to have a little peep at each of them. Interesting.
Heading to Atlantic City. Atlantic city is a city right beside the Atlantic ocean. There's a boardwalk that goes along the beach and where most of the 13 casinos of the city is located. Atlantic City is the biggest casino city in the east part. It absolutely does not compare to Las Vegas, but still a nice place to visit.

Day 4

West Point was our last visit point. This is a famous military academy almost 200 years old.
Then heading back home.
End of trip.

-----------

Got stopped by the police. First time of my life, but lucky I just got a warning, could have cost me 250$ and 4 points. I kind of cut a car and went on the lane of the opposite way, thats what they think.

Went to Quebec city, again. It was still fun, more relax less rushing.

Wedding day. Not mine. Busy. Nice weather. Good day.

Didnt know my house could acommodate 14 people.

No more room in dorm for fall. Went to Sherbrooke to find a place. Nothing good, but took one, the closest to school. Dont really like it but better than sleeping on the street.

I dont talk to strangers and other people i dont know. I wonder if i'm mysterious or just boring or anti-social.

Went to a meeting at the volunteering centre instead of jumping in a swimming pool and getting paid to test the life jacket. maybe a bad choice. I still feel like an outsider there.

~ If everybody gave a little something to someone and if that someone is me, that would be great. ~

The sky was clear yet drops of rain have fallen. It wasnt rain but the sky was clear.

Often when people asks for opinion and advice concerning a decision, they actually want some back up, encouragement. They just need someone to agree with what they've already decided. If the others dont think like them, they'll be all mixed up and confused or they'll still go ahead with what they think (hard headed people). If the others do think the same, then it's fine, they have found someone to share the responsiblities, the consequences of their own decisions. Perhaps even someone to blame on in case something bad happens.

Why do people always expect me to be in good mood? I can be in a bad mood too. Dont ask me "whats wrong?" I'll just tell you "nothing", even if the real answer is "I dont know". Dont even talk to me! I dont feel like talking alright, shut up.

Apologies should be made A.S.A.P. The longer you wait, the worst it is and the truer the saying "Sorry seems to be the hardest word to say".

I'm going back to school. Where I stay, there is no computer, no internet. I think I have found something very useful, not a raison-d'etre but a raison-d'etudier, a self-motivation, which, if fully exploited, could lead me to somewhere I have never reached before.

September 2001

September 11th will be a date to remember for a long time. I didnt have school that morning and turned on my tv at 9am. I followed the tragedy live most of the day until i have class in the afternoon.

When you dont have a computer its hard to update a web page, so this page will not be updated as often as i would like it to be. And i dont have much time to spend on this anyway, now that im decided to succeed at school.

October 2001

I might say it every year, but i cannot stop wondering (wonder as in wonderful) at the beauty of fall. The colors of the leaves, and ... things like that.

~ Crying in the rain is no use; you get wet anyway. ~

January 2002

Happy New Year! It's been a while I haven't updated this page, and as expected, nobody cares. Maybe I should put my site on search engines. yeah, its gonna help, im sure everybody's looking for derykland out there. No, instead, I'll just stay well hidden.

Last year was just another year. For the first half of the year nothing happened. And im saying nothing nuthin. It's definitely something i will not do again. And now its 2002. one of those things in life that can go backwards and still it doesnt change anything. or you can call it palindrome if you want.

Holidays were great. Got to spend some time with friends and family. And do the 3R: rest, read and relax. I didnt want to go back to school. Its not like its the first time but somehow i didnt want to leave home, i was so well there...

Gone back to school. First day back on rez since one year and its completely different. Not the place, but rather my perception of the place. Suddenly, its not as friendly, as welcoming as it used to be. My friends are gone, theres snow outside and its cold. And to add to this feeling of "gosh, i wish i wasnt here", my tv-tuner is not working. What is the use to watch tv if theres no sound? its a bit like ... listening to the tv and not having the image that goes with it. in both cases you just think that its better to read a book or listen to the radio. for the first time in my life, im wondering which is worst: being blind or being deaf? i always thought that blind was worst, now im not too sure. its things like that make you realize other things thats not like that.

Went ice fishing, it was fun, except the beer and burp part. The dim sum the next morning was good too, i guess everything's good when you are hungry and tired. More sleepy than hungry.

Went to a friend's party. At first I wasn't sure i wanted to go, but it turned out i had much fun. Met with some long time no see friends. We played cards but no beer this time. I dont get it, can't we play just for fun? or something else than beer or money?

I have a feeling i will have some big decisions to make this year. I didnt read that in my horoscope today. I dont believe in that. I dont know why anybody would.

~Someday you'll realize something you've never realized, and then you'll be really surprised. ~

February 2002

Swimming pool, i'm coming! splash! i get tired so fast. at least i didnt drown. maybe i have asthma and i dont know? or perhaps its because of the gym. i was quite athletic this week. too bad the sauna wasnt opened, i really felt like saunaing. Then went to buffet with my friends and some new friends and my friends friends. Another long time no see friend was among them. To my surprise, i didnt eat a lot. no im not on diet, im more the undiet kind, if you know what i mean. Anyway, we played cards and guess what, yeah beer again. and guess what, i threw up again. Beer is bad, but Laurentide is the worst, totally disgusting. Dont ever buy it, even if theres 4 bonus bottles... hmm... now i know why they have those bonuses.. And we played the bottle, that truth or dare game, well you lie and nobody knows anyway (not that i did). It might not be fair play, but who said life is fair?

May 2002

The semester is over. It passed by so quickly. The weather has been weird. Spring, early in winter and winter in early spring. T-shirt in February and scarf in May. A lot of things have gone through my mind lately... but now its blank. My plans have failed, my projects are no more. I have this same feeling of helplessness i had at about the same time last year. At some point, i questionned myself about the meaning of friendship, the road i had to take. I really wanted to go somewhere else... But the tough reality hit me again and did not let me dream further.

I'm doing this volunteering thingie and im actually enjoying it. This sense of achievement that i dont get when dealing with my own matters is emerging from somewhere. I can feel it with much satisfaction just by helping other people. If only i can use this same willpower/energy/interest in everything i do...

I hereby (makes it more official) say I will not drink anymore alcohol unless i decide to do so. No more stupid games just for the sake of drinking. Not that i did anything bad, or that i got drunk. It's just that the taste of beer coming in your throat is nothing much to enjoy, and the taste of it getting out (along with some unidentified substances) is even worse. And i get red so fast. This has nothing to do with my decision of going alcoholic-free though. I still have the right to drink occasionally, when i feel like it, which should not happen often. If that makes me a boring person, so be it.

June 2002

I found a summer job. I worked. I found another job. I quit my first job. I worked. I didnt like it. I quit my second job.

July 2002

Went to a camp. Not camping, camp. With the other people from CFSGM. It was on the week-end of Canaday Day. I learned much during these three days. Very much, as in thank you very much. Made me realize many things I would not have realized if I stayed home that week-end, watching the world cup.

I got another job. I worked.

August 2002

I did not quit my job this time. I look forward to starting school again.

September 2002

School has started. I look forward to fall break and Christmas.