Rating: Somewhere between PG-13 and R
Spoilers: Diseased
Notes: This is mostly a dream sequence with some attempts at humor (that failed miserably!) in an attempt to explore the fact that our evil heroine still *is* human. Poor chica.
Disclaimer: I don’t own TIM or the characters or any of the ideas. Even though most of the Diseased spoilers I thought of before seeing it! Great minds think alike…
Music: Cranberries: Zombie

I walked into the breakfast room, in search of some tea. Von Waldenhaus happened to be there as well, cooking up something that smelled mouth-watering.

"Hello, Andrea," Kurt greeted me pleasantly "How are you?" He smiled.

"Fine, I think," I replied. "I hope Genevieve’s little incident in the lake won’t make me catch a chill." Some delicious smell wafted over to me. "What are you making?" I asked him. "Because whatever it is, it smells really good."

"Frog stir-fry," he replied. "Would you like some?"

I blanched. "Actually," I said quickly, "I was going to get some tea. What do we have?"

"Hmm…" he opened the cabinet and peered in. "We’ve got Darjeeling, Ginseng, black, green, Earl Grey, regular…"

"Got any chamomile?" I inquired, rubbing my forehead.

"Ahh…" Kurt reached back. "Actually, yes! Last bag," he said, tossing it to me.

I caught it and heated some water over the stove, waited for it to boil, then steeped my tea. I sat down and chatted with von Waldenhaus for a while, about his…unique culinary tastes, his childhood, how he got involved with Arnaud. Then finishing my tea, I stood up. "Well, thank you for talking with me, Kurt. You know you’re my only real friend here?"

He smiled at me. "I’m glad to be," he told me. "Being a misfit as a child kind of makes you realize the importance of a simple friend."

"I can relate to that." I smiled wryly, then sniffed. "Aw, crap," I muttered. "Vivi, I swear if I catch cold I’m gonna nail you…"

"Well, I hope not," von Waldenhaus said sincerely. "I’d hate for you to get sick."

"Thanks," I said. "Well now I have to go check on my kept, see how she’s doing…" I sniffed and rubbed at my nose. Then I walked out to find Genevieve.

***

"Would you stop just barging into my dressing room?" Genevieve crossed her arms, standing from the vanity from where she had apparently been organizing her makeup. "Really, Andrea, I’ve asked you too many times! Knock first!" She glared at me.

"Oh, sorry honey," I replied, none too apologetic. "I wanted to see how you’re doing. Arnaud is locked away in the lab with Lewis and is," I sniffed, "thoroughly ignoring me." I tossed my hair back. "And since I’m your keeper I decided to come see how you’re doing."

"I’m fine," Genevieve replied, still a little annoyed. "But thank you for asking." She rubbed some lotion into her hands. "You take this keeper business rather seriously, don’t you?" she asked me in her careful English.

"I have to; it’s my job," I replied. "If I didn’t take it seriously, I wouldn’t have gone through the trouble of hauling your ass out of the lake after you fell through the ice, would I?"

"Rather wish you hadn’t," she muttered under her breath in French.

That caught my attention, and I smiled falsely at her, letting her know I caught her slip, then inquired sweetly, "How’s that new serum?" I paused to rub my nose as I sniffed again. "Arnaud’s rather proud of it, you know. I hope to God it works, for my sake." I grinned wryly at Genevieve. "Because if it doesn’t and you somehow still manage to die, he’s going to take it out on my skin."

"Well at least you have your madness to make it bearable," Genevieve countered acidly. "For me, it’s just…torture."

"Oh, va te fais voir," I damned her tiredly. "As much as you may believe I enjoy quicksilver madness, it’s most assuredly otherwise." I rubbed at my nose. "I simply decided to make the best out of an impossible situation."

"Mmm-hmm." Genevieve eyed me.

"Oh hell, what do you want me to say? Yes, it’s wonderful, yes, it’s amazing, yes, I can’t get enough of having my damned brains blown out by a fucking demon, literally?" I was tired of putting up with Genevieve’s purposeful misbelief, and was feeling lousy enough to tell it to her straight.

Genevieve eyes widened in shock. "Well, be a little more blatant, will you?" She wrinkled her nose at me. "What’s wrong with you? You are not usually like this."

"Nothing is wrong with me. I’m fidne."

"You are what?"

"I said fine," I snapped at her. Then I caught myself, realizing I had let my anger loose. I couldn’t afford to lose my patience in front of my kept. Pulling myself up, I recovered my authoritative stance. "Are you feeling all right?" I looked her over critically, and she swallowed and stepped back a pace. Realizing its effect, I softened my expression. "Now tell me, honestly, were you trying to kill yourself the other day?" I remembered the icy water, cold as quicksilver, closing in around me as I had jumped in to save her worthless hide. She had gotten relatively dried off while I was still soaked, although I didn’t particularly care at the time…I was more concerned with preventing her hypothermia so that Arnaud wouldn’t punish me if she became sick.

"Life is precious!" she replied fervently. "I would never!"

"Calm down, birdie. I didn’t really believe you were." I summoned a forced smile. I didn’t actually believe her, but I’d let her think I did. I sighed and rubbed my eyes, slightly grainy. "Anyway," I said, turning to leave, "I think I’m going to work on my target practice. Would you like to come along?" I felt I had to offer. As much as I still didn’t like her, I was starting to tolerate her.

"No, thank you." Genevieve sat back down. "I actually, I think I will sleep. The new drug…it makes me rather tired all the time." She sighed.

"Oh, that’s not good," I felt a tiny pang of sympathy for her, which I quickly suppressed. "I’ll tell Arnaud for you."

"Would you?" She looked at me gratefully. "I would appreciate it. He does not usually believe me when I tell him about side effects."

"Alright," I said, feeling a little relief at actually accomplishing something with my kept. "I’ll tell him." I turned to go. "After I finish practicing."

***

It was too damned cold to stay outside for very long. I grabbed my dagger out of the target and stalked inside, chilled to the bone. Passing through the lab, I noticed Arnaud and Lewis still working. I decided to break into their little party.

"Arnaud," I called in the door. He looked up and acknowledged me. "I want you. Now," I said authoritatively.

He looked a bit taken aback, and I smiled inwardly at that. "You want me for what?" he asked carefully.

"What do you think?" I tilted my head to the side playfully.

"Ah," he smiled. "Lewis, you will of course excuse me. I think you can finish this up on your own, yes?"

Lewis smiled knowingly and turned back to the microscope.

***

I sat up on my elbows and looked down at Arnaud, my hair falling into his face. I smiled at him as he reached up to push it away, then leaned up to me to kiss me on the lips, then suddenly flipping me. We had a delightful war of conquest between us.

"Now, aren't you glad I pulled you out of that lab?" I asked him playfully, pushing the sheet down to his waist and tracing a finger over his chest.

"Absolutely." Arnaud grinned, covering me with another wave of kisses. "I don't usually like to be interrupted, but this was a much needed respite."

"Mn." I smiled back up at him. "I-ah," I turned my face away, my hand flying to my nose. "CHOO!!" Quicksilver flooded me and flew randomly over Arnaud. "Oh, crap," I said tiredly. "I’m getting a bit annoyed at this." I shook away the stuff and he flicked a bit away off his chest, then pinned me with a rather annoyed look. "Oh, thank you so much," he said sarcastically. "Do you have any more tricks up your sleeve?"

"Arnaud darling, I don’t have any clothes on," I reminded him, rubbing my forehead. "Although I wouldn’t mind you dressing me and we can have a repeat of the lahst hauf-hour…"

"Are you feeling ill?" Arnaud demanded, a slightly concerned expression on his face.

"Fidne," I sniffed, pulling the sheet over our heads. "Nohw, where were we?"

"Heading toward the lab." Arnaud frowned and rolled out of the bed, pulling me up with him by the wrist.

"No, no no!" I protested weakly. "I’m fine, I pro-ah!" I stifled a sneeze, "I promise." Arnaud raised an eyebrow at me, and I glared back at him with all my grainy, red-eyed glory.

"Oh, come on," he said impatiently. "I’m going to run a few tests." Against my protests, he pulled me down to the white lab, and sat me down on the operating table. Then he wheeled a cart of basic examination equipment over to me.

"Arnaud, what is all this hoopla for?" I asked him frustratedly. "Come on, give me a break! I’m sure it’s just a little allergic reaction or something. It’ll be gone in a few more hours!"

"All the more reason for me to check you out," he contradicted. "Now, a little prick. I need a blood sample."

"Arnaud!" I exclaimed. "If it’s anything it’s just a little, tiny, 24-hour…annoyance. It’ll be gone in a day!" I could feel another tickle starting in my nose, and I turned away. Resistance is futile! I heard it say to me. Oh, Crap! I thought to myself. "WAAA-CHOOOO!!!" Another sneeze exploded out of me…

"Oh, shit," I said quietly. "Arnaud, gab me a tissue, would you?"

"What?" He looked up, surprised.

"A thisthu, dammit! A thisthu! And hurry up!" I held my hand to my nose.

"Here," Arnaud thrust one at me. I grabbed it and slapped it to my face. Finally drawing it away with one last wipe, I decided to gross him out.

"Look," I said, holding the apparently clean tissue out to him. He looked at it quizzically. "I don’t see anything…" he said expectantly.

"Oh, here, let me show you." I brought it right up to his face and shook it. Suddenly quicksilver flaked off and revealed the contents of my cold to him.

"AAACK!" he exclaimed. "Get that away from me!" He pushed me aside and I laughed rather hysterically at his retreating form. Finally he returned, bearing Nyquil and a syringe full of counteragent. "Andrea, you’re sick. You. Are. Sick- No, don’t even try to argue with me! I want you to take this and go to sleep."

He gave me Nyquil, and I didn’t care enough anymore to protest. Of course I didn’t need the meds, but I figured a little dose of it wouldn’t damage me. "Now, to bed," he ordered, giving me the precautionary shot of counteragent.

"With you?" I asked him hopefully.

"No. Now, go!" He gave me a slap on my tush to send me away.

` "Fine," I sniffed, "but don’t expect any more of this for a while." I pointed to myself and quicksilvered my body from the neck down, then stalked out of the lab as forcefully as my aching body would allow.

***

I walked into my apartments, fighting with my body to get it over to my bed. That Nyquil was really starting to kick in, and I barely managed to collapse into bed before I passed out…

***

I hauled myself out of bed, trying to get the lead out of my ass. I took a quick lukewarm shower in the hopes that the water would refresh me. It did a little, and as I got dressed into hiking boots and brown leather, I felt a bit better; my head wasn’t quite as stuffy. I decided to go hunting in the winter Alps and strapped on a hunting knife. I strode quickly down to the white lab where Arnaud was yet again peering intently into a microscope.

"I’m going out," I called. "Get me in an hour if I’m not back already, would you please?"

"I wouldn’t, if I were you," he replied, looking up. "You’ve got some interesting bugs floating around in your bloodstream. You will stay in."

"What kind of bugs?" I lifted my eyebrow at him.

"Viruses and bacteria. I need some more time to ascertain what they are."

"You mean that’s an electron microscope?" I asked, curious, and hoping to distract him. "Cool. Well anyway, I’m fine, and you’re not getting another blood sample, if that’s what you’re thinking." I breezed through the lab.

"Andrea!" Arnaud called after me, but I was already gone.

***

I eeled through the bushes and pines, silently stalking a chamois. My foot came down on a twig and it snapped loudly in the cold. The goat heard the noise and stopped, turning back to look. I quicksilvered in a rush; if it saw me it would run. I was not letting this cute little animal get away.

It decided everything was safe and continued on. I pulled my dagger out and slowly desilvered. It was absolutely no fun to go hunting if you were invisible—took all the skill out of the chase. I wanted to get this sucker like any other hunter.

The stupid thing decided it wanted to go graze in a snowfield. I was not going to let it get away, and started through the snow. But the animal heard me again, and I could tell it was getting worried. I went invisible, deciding that nailing this chamois in any way was more important that being sporting.

Suddenly it started to sleet, a heavy wave, and I cursed my inattentiveness to the weather. I realized that it had been darkening steadily since I’d started the chase, and I just hadn’t noticed. I stopped the flow of quicksilver and tried to shake it off of me, but it was too late. The sleet had already trapped me in an icy shell, and it was coming down harder. Crap! I thought desperately. I’ve got to get back to the chalet, and fast! I tried to move, but I was immobilized into an icy statue. I hoped that Arnaud would come and get me sometime soon, or at least send out Lewis or von Waldenhaus to come get me.

Oh, dammit. I really needed to sneeze – I could feel a serious tickle starting in my nose. No, no no!! This was not happening! This could not be happening!

Shit. It happened. And what really sucked was that I knew I wasn’t going to freeze to death any time soon—quicksilver was a two way street. It had extremely low external temperatures, but also kept heat within. I was stuck in my little frozen hell…

That damned goat walked up to me and looked curiously at me. I fumed at it from within my ice statue. "What are you looking at, you little furball?" I glowered at it. "Yes, you, you stupid little thing! What gave you the brilliant idea to go a graze in the damned snow? And then you had to get it to sleet!" I glared. "Why couldn’t you be a good little greka’shen and let me kill you?"

The goat just looked at me with those eyes that were uncannily intelligent. Then it opened its mouth and started to talk to me. "That’s no way to talk to your kept," it admonished me, in… Genevieve’s voice?! What!? It continued. "How unkind of you, Mademoiselle. You were going to hunt me down and kill me and even eat me." It bleated piteously. "What would Arnaud say to that, hmm? You killing his only beloved? Bad girl." The chamois expanded to fill my vision, growing larger and larger. "Bad girl…bad girl…"

***

I opened my eyes and looked around blearily. "Oh, thank the Lord, it’s my own room, my own bed…I can move!"

"Glad to see you awake, Andrea. You’ve been asleep for quite a while." The voice came out of nowhere. I snapped up in bed and stared. "Kurt?!" I exclaimed, looking at him in surprise. What was he doing here…in my bed?! Shirtless?!!

"Oh," I gasped. "Oh my God, oh no-"

"What’s wrong?" he smiled warmly at me and pushed back a strand of hair from my forehead. I looked up at him, shocked, and couldn’t help myself. I threw back the sheets and covers to expose his naked body…his rather appealing naked body… and mine.

"Oh, Kurt, what did we- what did we do?" I couldn’t believe my senses.

"Many very enjoyable things." He smiled and leaned over me, his pale blond hair falling rakishly over his dark brown eyes.

"I’ll bet," I said dryly, looking over his muscled chest.

"Cigarette?" He offered.

"You know I don’t smoke, Kurt. And besides, German tobacco is way too strong." I reminded him.

"Oh, I didn’t mean you." He grinned and looked over my shoulder.

I hesitated, not wanting to know, then slowly turned over to the other side.

"Thank you." Lewis reached over me to take the offered cigarette, the blankets sliding down his lean body as he did so. "I think I will."

My gaze roamed over his strong, powerful body, his dark chocolate skin rippling over the play his muscles. He smiled slyly at me. "You are most…skilled in bed," he told me, tracing a finger over my bare shoulder.

"Isn’t she, though, Riqard?" von Waldenhaus said to Lewis. "Mm," Lewis mumbled back, gazing at me. "What do you say we have a repeat of the last half-hour?"

"I’d say yes," Kurt replied. I looked bewilderedly between the two of them, and then they moved over me, running their hands lightly over me, their mouths leaving hot trails along my body…

Suddenly Thibaut strolled out of the bathroom, only a towel wrapped around his hips. His skin glistened from the shower he had just taken. "Ah, Riqard, Kurt…my lovely Andrea," he greeted us.

This was too much. I jumped out of the bed, pulling a silk sheet around my body and ran out the door. I fled down the hallway, sheet trailing from me, and in my haste tripped over a…a skull, a human skull! The death’s-head grinned at me as I tumbled down, and my body jerked to reveal me…

Lying on the floor of my own room. The sheets were twisted tightly around my legs. I groaned and crawled back into my bed…

***

Slowly I pulled my head up from the floor. "Oh..." I moaned, rubbing my temples. "I must have fallen out of bed…again." I groaned, then stood, my legs shaky, and wandered out the door and down the hall, heading toward the bathroom that I shared with the rest of Arnaud's employees. Everyone except Genevieve. I scowled. The little bitch got her own damn bathroom. Well, that’s the perks of being his whore for ten years, I thought sourly.

It figured that the moment I reached the bathroom I heard screaming coming from down the hall. I had no idea who it was, but my thoughts immediately jumped to the little birdie. "Hell," I sighed, groaning. And, appropriately, the moment my kept popped into my mind, I realized it had to be her. "Aw, shit." I mumbled, feeling obligated. "You would pick now to have a fit." No time to care for myself, I dragged my aching body along the wall toward the sound of her high-pitched shrieks, piercing my poor brain and amplifying my headache. I followed the indistinguishable cries to the solararium, where I paused just outside the door, realizing that a low voice was singing to the wails. I leaned against the wall to catch my breath, then burst into the room.

Genevieve looked up, startled, but continued to sing to the pink bundle in her arms. A small fist waved from it – a baby, I thought… no, impossible! I approached her almost against my will. Unperturbed, she sang on, an almost-familiar lullaby, and the crying child quieted.

I tried to catch my breath again. What was this child doing here? Had Arnaud kidnapped it to use as a lab subject?

Genevieve pushed back the blanket and I saw it had a head of light read hair. She beckoned to me. "Look," she said, "just look at her beautiful eyes."

I looked at the child, and her innocent eyes stared up at me. They were a light sparkling green, the same green as Arnaud’s. I gasped.

"Her name is Patience," Genevieve told me proudly. "Isn’t she beautiful?"

"Whose child is she?" I demanded harshly.

"She’s mine," Genevieve replied almost defensively. "And Arnaud’s. Patience Violet de Föhn," she crooned.

"Where did she come from?" I asked sharply, bringing her attention back to me.

"From God." Genevieve laughed. "An angel’s gift…she is my darling daughter. But we had a little help from Thibaut. He is an expert on child development techniques. Arnaud and I wanted a baby, but the pregnancy would have been dangerous." She smiled.

"You mean Patience is a test-tube baby?" I asked, revulsion creeping into my voice.

"Yes. Our first-born, carried to term by a good woman in Starflï. Oh, Andrea, forget your disgust. There is nothing wrong-"

Suddenly, a new wailing cut in. I looked around warily and realized there was another crib in the room, and that was the source of the crying. Genevieve looked up to me. "Dirk is calling you, Andrea," she said. "You haven’t been a very good mother. Go to him." Almost in a trance, I walked over to the crib, not willing to peer over the edge.

"Mommy, mommy," a tiny male voice called. "I’ve been practicing all day, mommy, just like you said." A hand flew up, and quicksilver suddenly flaked off a knife. The tiny hand stabbed the dagger into my shoulder. I jerked and slid down the crib to see a boy child with dark hair and amber eyes desilver.

"Aren’t I good, mommy?" he asked, smiling at me with bloodstained teeth.

***

"OH!" I sat bolt upright, hand flying to my mouth. "Oh- my God." I rubbed my head. "What a nightmare." I pinched myself to make sure I was really awake. In my fright it took me a moment for me to notice the sound of a church organ, playing Bach’s Toccata in D minor. I groaned and rubbed my head, still feeling slightly sick, and decided to see where that atrocity of noise was coming from. Above the cacophony I could hear a voice speaking French, but couldn’t tell from where it came. Strangely, I couldn’t understand the words.

My feet pulled me down the hallway, where I finally came to an ornate medieval tapestry hanging at a dead end. The music and voices seemed to come from behind it. I reached out a hand and tugged a corner aside and discovered the hallway didn’t end! It continued behind the tapestry, and growing curious, I stepped behind it, pursuing the sounds. I passed closed doors on either side, all locked. Flaming torches lit the stone corridor.

Finally I came to two huge carved doors. I pushed them open and stepped into a small stone-arched room, beautiful stained glass windows letting in rainbowed light. Another pair of carved wooden doors stood at the other end of the room, and I walked to them, the sounds becoming ever clearer.

I opened the doors and found a small, vaulted chapel. More ornate stained glass flooded the room with jeweled light. At the back of the chapel stood Arnaud and Genevieve—she in her gorgeous, lacy Victorian wedding dress and ornate hairstyle, he in a white silk tuxedo.

"Mademoiselle," von Waldenhaus said softly to me. "I am glad you could make it. You are her bridesmaid, and I am his best man. Come!" He hurried me down the isle. I looked down and realized I was still in my flannel pajamas, my hair in a disarray. "Kurt," I whispered, "what am I doing here?!" He looked at me and nudged me behind Genevieve.

"…Do you take this man to be your husband, in sickness and in health…" the priest droned.

"Kurt!" I hissed. "what the hell is this all about? Is it a trick? When the hell did they say-"

"Shh," he said quickly, motioning me to be quiet.

"…Anybody who objects to this marriage, speak now or forever hold your peace…"

"I do!" I cried desperately. "I do! They can’t get married! This isn’t possible!"

Arnaud looked at me. "It’s your own fault, Andrea. You wouldn’t let me care for you, in sickness or in health. It’s too late, my dear, too late! Genevieve proved she is the one for me…" Genevieve smiled sickeningly at me.

I glanced around, terrified. Desperately, I drew my dagger, but the blade fell out of the hilt! I swore, and everyone laughed at me, laughed, laughed… I took the blade in one hand and the hilt in the other, and threw the pieces at the happy couple. But the pieces flew through them impossibly and shattered the glass instead, and the multicolored shards flew at me… I ran from them in a panic but-

I was in my own bed again, my heart pounding, my body invisible. My eyes darted around but there was only darkness. And even though I could see nothing, I knew that I was in my room, my bed. No stained glass, no marriage. I sighed.

***

Epilogue

I remember the night vaguely… I would wake every hour and a half or so to wretch into a garbage pail that some unbodied hand held for me. The faint memory of someone wiping my mouth and holding a cup of water to my lips still remains in the back of my mind. But all that I can clearly recall is waking in my own dim room, in my own bed, enveloped in warm, soft blankets, and feeling the gentle pressure of someone holding my hand.

I had turned my eyes to my right, smiling faintly, half-hoping, half-expecting to see Arnaud or von Waldenhaus caring for me. But instead, I looked gratefully up into the face of - Genevieve?!

"Mmm…" I mumbled, pushing myself up on one elbow, only to find that her hand pressed me back down into the bed.

"Do not get up, Andrea," she told me in an almost motherly voice. I felt her place a cold washcloth against my forehead. "You still need your rest. Here." She held a hand at the back of my neck to tilt my head up. "Drink." She pressed a cup to my lips.

"No!" I protested weakly. "This is another damned nightmare; I refuse to-" I choked back nausea. "And even if it’s not… you’re probably going to poison me…" I tried to push her away.

Suddenly I heard von Waldenhaus. He must have been sitting in the shadows. "I promise you, Andrea, you are truly awake. And the drink is safe. I prepared it myself."

"Oh, all right," I groaned. "If I must." Genevieve tipped the cup and I took a sip. "Ehk!" I cringed. Whatever that drink was, it tasted disgusting! I would have spit it out, except that Genevieve held her hand over my lips and rubbed my throat, forcing me to swallow.

"I know." She spoke apologetically. "Awful, isn't it?"

"That doesn't even begin to describe it... Kurt, what the hell was that?" I moaned and lay back into the covers. Then, gathering my strength, I forced myself up from the bed and stood shakily.

"Andrea, really, please lay down!" Genevieve looked alarmed.

"Why? I'm feeling much better." Belligerence at being cared for by Genevieve grew in me, enough anger to make me feign strength.

"You aren't either. I can tell. Your voice is still weak." She frowned at me concernedly.

"Now wait just a damn minute." I stomped my foot feebly, trying to summon a display of power from somewhere in my exhausted body. "Since when did you become my keeper?" There was no way that my kept was going to become my keeper. I didn’t care if I had to lie and then passed out later because of my pride. She was not going to take care of me!

"Andrea," Vivi looked over her shoulder. "Kurt, would you leave us, please?"

I watched von Waldenhaus exit, calling after him, "Please, stay! Come on, my fellow misfit…stay with me!" But Genevieve commanded him out, and strangely, he obeyed.

"What was that for?" I demanded weakly. "Why did you have to send von Waldenhaus out? What are you going to do?"

"Paranoid plaza," Genevieve murmured. "Do not worry. You have nothing to fear from me. Now, I want you to go back to bed." I was about to head for the door when the world spun around me. I collapsed, and my inner reason told me I had no choice but to comply. She slipped an arm under me and guided me back to the bed, murmuring soft words, lulling me almost against my will. The words became singing, and they melted through me, comforting me into a drowsy calm. I fought it desperately, but found myself falling into the melody…

Her voice quieted and her hands tucked in the blankets around me, and she must have thought I was asleep. And I will never, ever forget her last words to me as I feigned slumber, the utter dread they struck in me. Her warm hand closed over my cold fingers and sent a shiver of fear down my spine with her words. "I will take care of you, Andrea. I know how much your vulnerability terrifies you…I really do understand. And for that, my dear, I will take care of you…"