"life in the mountains"
|
november 20th-22nd Friday morning. Took a shower for the first time since I got here. Depressed, but with a sense of interested anticipation. Not for nothing did I imagine for YOUR titilation and my snickering amusement a mortuary pie with eyes and ears. Now WE can find out what it sees: it's misty, let's see, it's getting clearer,yes, I can specify it's the Boulder County Jail...earlier this week, how is it I can SEE "Opie" and "Bury" and "JC" are in "the hole" for 1) making hooch in the kitchen @0 for fighting because somebody finally called "Bury" on his self hatred for being white. I understand deputy STARR was struck by "Opie", the idiot from Indiana.She reminds me of my older sister B, and of all the deputies I can't imagine why someone would hit her. That is going to COST. No newspaper, and only sports on the TV for the time we were out of our cells. There's a dichotomy between the TONE of my writing and the suffering of the recent moves and subsequent lack of mail, information, and stimuli. I feel that the TONE remains fairly consistent ( except when I try to answer your questions). But the reality of life is that when WE first began this unchartered PROCESS not so long ago it put a great spring in my step. Time was flying. I was good and unpainfully WIDE AWAKE. Now I am depleted. Oh, hons, I look like an AIDS infested corpse. I am aware that some people have been e-mailed ( and perhaps it's on my website) about the concept of requesting Gilpin County to REJECT me. I can't really comment except to say that I am deeply wondering what will happen. Also... since I can do nothing but write this posting for the next 3 days and THEN it can start it's snail journey...I daresay it might be time to turn that SPIGOT OFF if it's still underway. Further: Matthews once spoke of "free J.T. Colfax" T-shirts etc...I really cringe at that NOTION. I am SORT OF in the homestretch anyway, although my remaining time now seems REALLY long again whereas LAST MONTH it felt short. ( Uncertainty is stressful and I can ASSUME a loss of good time will MAGICALLY OCCUR somehow). What we are participating in is NEW. I didn't realize "participating" would be a word with an application here. But I can ENVISION the stack of mail I heard about from Boulder, and now I will WONDER what, who, how many, etc..about the Blackhawk/ Central City/ Gilpin reject thing. It's RIGHT I assure you. It's RIGHT. Because my letters are closely read I can't even go into how I feel about Gilpin and the possibility of being COMPRESSED there. You know, when FIRST this avenue opened and when guards at Boulder would open Matthew's packets to me and REALIZE what was going on I THOUGHT about contacting Boulder's SGT. MEALS (who handles discipline issues) and just flat out telling him, "look, UR gonna hear anyway, SO here's what I'm doing and why,etc". But then I thought he might take it as me acting grandiosely and making a veiled threat or something. I never did it. But there's no question that having X amount of people WATCHING me in jail was NOT recieved well. It's as if a guard doing rounds walks by cell after cell after cell on a tier and THEN they come to mine and find that I have somehow cut a giant hole in the concrete and I'm sticking my head out and chatting with YOU, a crowd on the lawn below. And while I wanna just turn to the guard and say, "look, there's Matthews; you'll remember him as the biggest smack dealer in Boulder, and there's Mrs. Brady and Jan, and that fat bastard with Nodules in the back of the crowd throwing eggs is Goethe, and over there, behind that tree, is a noncovering reporter, and the one in red is Stingray", etc . One wants to tell the guard, "Isn't it GREAT this hole in the wall, in many ways the chance to EXPLAIN is good for my soul." But the guard is APPALLED, and in panic he calls in the alarm on his radio. When once I had a smiling intrigued expression, now a virtual (so far) truncheon comes whacking my face.And in that spirit I squeak: Boulder deputy Struck discussed with inmates Hudson and Archer the idea that he used to think deputy GATTO was "a lezbo". That one not to your liking? TOO CHEAP? How about this: ever since my arrival in BCJ there has been almost 100,000 dollars worth of computer equipment, still in it's BOXES, stuffed in sort of closets off of the visiting room. Nothing ever gets DONE there. EVER. So yeah yeah yeah taxpayer cash down the drain. The chit will be outdated B4 they ever undertake the effort to get it installed. I ask you who have been watching...was I just blazing to tell you THESE things from get-go? Do THESE things sound like what we were CHATTING about thru our mutually built virtual hole in the wall B4 the guard came along? Who TITTED/ who TATTED? Now, what WERE we talking about?
What were we saying? What was the thread? What's the difference? We've got TIME don't we? But I did get to see the RMN later on Friday and I saw the item about the GJ allegedly hearing about a DIFFERENT CASE in addition to JBR. Can't sit and spin circles trying to figure that out.. Anyonre know anything? (will I ever 'hear" your muted voices again?) On Saturday I again woke up unslept and stressed. But they did bring my medication late Friday nite. But how am I to relax knowing that Gilpin County swings in the balance? Once upon a time Boulder deputy Linda Rogers told me about "that poor
kid" they had in "juvey". ( The juvenile facility IS at the justice
center and some THEORIZE that an R or two COULD be housed there to avoid
transports.)This "poor kid" was stealing from cars on R street that night,
or so, and was just totally traumatized by R detective scrutiny. Rolled
up in a ball at "juvey". His mother, I hear, manages the Texaco at 15th
and Main in Longmont.
POSTING CONTINUED
Let's pretend someone was in this cold cell to ask me what I would do if I won 100 million in the lottery. Well, I'd spend about five million renting buses to cart in the filthiest, nastiest, most howling BUMS from across the USA. I'd have them all dumped off SMACK in the middle of Boulder, each with a bottle of whiskey and a pack of cigarettes. I might put them in some sort of uniform...maybe a T-shirt with an ALEX HUNTER nose pickin photo, etc. I hear there's a little tension in the Boulder DA's office in that basically NO ONE from Boulder is "allowed" in to help with the GJ. I remember READING in the beginning that Hunter was present everyday. NOW NOT. So I hear. One long orchestrated SHOW just to indict PATSY. ( jingle) $13 bux a corpse/ that's what they paid me/$13 bux a corpse/ it really slayed me/$13 bux a corpse my roommate betrayed me... Yeah, so I see my roommate Dave Rodgers (of CEDAR AVE in Denver) eating breakfast, see, so I says,"You won't believe what I did last nite," see, and I goes back into my room,see, and I comes back with the morgue logs,see. Later that very day I'd get busted at Safeway picking up the photos of the North American Corpsey Lorpsey; see, three days later I'd get out of Denver city jail,6 days later it would hit the news WITHOUT one phone call, one letter or ANY prompting from me.And about 7 days later Dave would throw me out, see, and then to put the icing on the cake he'd choose THEN to stir the pot by telling about the morgue logs. So you see..a shoe dropping everyday. The tension just mounted and mounted. Hey, remember when Littleton detective Mike Broadhead called me and arranged a time for me to come there on my own to get charged or released as opposed to making them come get me in which case they'd jail me? And so I take the bus all the way down there and check in with the secretary and I sit down next to a woman reading the Denver Post turned to the exact page with the Corpse photos story. So I goes in for my LENGTHY grilling and fingerprinting with a VARIETY of HOMICIDE detectives asking me if I committed "ANY" murder etc etc. When it's over, detective Broadhead tells me the woman in the lobby is from the Associated Press and he offers me their conference room if I'd like to talk to her. Declined! But I talked to her OUTSIDE. So be sure amd keep raping me with the "attention seeker" theory as I endlessly attempt to get the truth out B4 I get out. Detective Broadhead AGENTED my Corpsey Lorpsey AP interview. Forget the fact that previously, for non illegal projects, I'd done at least 4 non AP interviews, a WS JOURNAL; DPA ( a German wire service). WIPE THAT OUT so that ALL I've ever done in my life is SICKLY photograph corpses. "Happy Birthday," "Hee Haw". current | 1999 | 1998 | colfax diaries |