"faulkner's joe christmas"
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december 17th Today the deputies had their staff Christmas party. Someone visiting me early this afternoon said Mrs. Brady is really NICE and I should have Matthews e-mail her. I said, "she has a good sense of humor too" and I named a few other good ones and one or two hideous snarlers. Tried to move to be a laundry worker. Got the STALL. It's like the R case doesn't exist anymore...so BLAME ME. We chat and wait. Might as well look into the bunker THEY might occupy. Under what circumstances can one NOT rely on the kindness of strangers? Do the police break the law? Didn't PAULA WOODWARD snap these words at me: "yeah yeah yeah, I know they lie" (police). Everyone is scum. And through the tragic magic of hopelessness I can see a TRIPLE X CARTOON O VISION. It opens possibilities. A vacation in Canada like YOU'D never imagine. Hopeless. Look at Clinton...he's hopeless and desperate right now because of the impeachment certainty. He should come burn the R house to the ground, but for him that would mean the House Of Representatives. We went to the gym last night for a shakedown again. "Ramsey Ramsey ko ko bop". I think I'll hide notes in the jail on my way out. If only I'd be heading to a shack out in the country like Faulkner's JOE CHRISTMAS in "LIGHT IN AUGUST". I made a mockery of Christmas in Canada. The gift of mockery. Mockery wrapped in newspaper. You are hearing my voice sound sardonically NOT VERY guilty. You are not USED to the contours, ridges and valleys. The shadows especial. Remember when I was in Douglas County and I noted that I saw a brief article about a death in the Boulder County Jail? Everyone wants me to tell YOU that Mr. "drunken" Carpenter died in intake cell#26. And that he was shaking like a whipsan and obviously ill all day. AND that Dep. Starr kept pounding on his door for a LONG TIME screaming, "Mr. Carpenter!" in an attempt to get him to acknowledge that he was corpsifying. But she delayed GOING IN for hours. People also keep trying to get ME to tell YOU about bad food, etc. Well, a window is a window and they wanna look in and out too, on their levels. Pasta Jay's former coke dealer is here! Dreadlocks galore, let me tell you...but...I talk to him all the time. One of the smarter, more urbane ones around here. My concentration is really haywire. Too much roughage. Who killed who? Who uselessly snipes? Who put a note through WHAT mailslot where? Who's really nice and on her fifth computer? Who has nodules? Where am I? Who ELSE made a mockery of Christmas? Does Christmas need help being a mockery? They opened with a SHABANG a Virgin Records whilst I roamed Vancouver empty. Now THERE'S a virgin I COULD have terrorized, and how! When you LOOK clutched in misery you don't really wanna be in a crowd. current | 1999 | 1998 | colfax diaries |