"a laugh at cowgirl's expense"
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december 28th A SUSPECT TIME TO GAWK....Public defender Lacklen told me Lou was coming.
I knew it several days in advance. It was ORGANIZD,not spontaneous. Lou
HADN'T been involved in the Dec negotiations. Things got worse with him
around. No, he didn't really say anything. He COULD have organized this
trip JUST TO GAWK, I suppose, but in NO WAY was it just SPONTANEOUS. As
in: Lou just walking across the hall. I will always feel that he booked
his place there days in ADVANCE for a REASON. And since he is an AGENT
of the RAMSEYS common sense should have kept him OUT.
So what IZ this awful new Ozzy song, "you looking at me, looking at
you...Lou?" "that clinking clanking clunking sound".
Otta be eine suicide hole at the end of every tier. Crackle crackle.
I'd see it as OVAL. The sort of door made for a submarine. A HATCH. The
word "REJECT" stenciled militarily above the portal. Flames shooting out.
One can jump on thru to the other side at any time. Even in the middle
of monday night football. A scream is heard. I have shaved my head and
for some reason everyone buzzes. What came first, the WATCHING or the "antics"?
Are not my "antics" a way to organize the watching? I am most assuredly
NOT the sort of "attention seeker" who likes to be "ON" in a crowd. I like
to TELEGRAPH. To HAUNT. I have seen the very cold shelves on which
my corpse will lay. I have SEEN the retort in which my FLESH will crackle.
And I am waiting for some Lt. or Sgt. to come bicker about the way I spend
my time. I am waiting to eat a Reese's stick. I am waiting to glug glug
glug again. "Falling in glug again". I am waiting to be backstabbed out
of a job again. I am waiting to be judged "odd" at a party. I am
waiting to be turned on and thrown out of a living sitauation. Oh it all
just keeps happening. Even HERE.
And it is within the ever present dull roar of the retort (aka crematorium)
that I can SNEER at the case of the Ramseys, both. And the picky picky
meltdown at the local justice center not UNLIKE the one in YOUR town. I
can stab my "spork" into the meatloaf round here and declare to my table
of dullards, "This substance is pure, unadulterated AIDS!" And they agree
with a snicker. By the same TOKEN you should PICTURE Matthews and I working
together in the " productive day" program under Bill Weiss in the gym.
Each day being BELLOWED at by the worst sorts of ignoramus....why, it even
states in the worker CONTRACT we HAD to sign in order to earn goodtime
that Bill would assign "quality control inmates". Another way of saying:
Bill will drink Swiss Miss in his office as a few moron's heads grow larger
with CONTROL. Under such circumstances IS IT NOT NATURAL that CERTAIN inmates
might write such things as "Patsy did it" or "this product made by inmate
#12941" on the labels of piecework products prepared for Cowgirl Inc, and
Our Kids chalk, and Celestial Seasonings tea, and Leanin Tree products.
Picture the expensive cowgirl LOTION for instance. Some day some old mad
cow with dry skin is GONNA get towards the BOTTOM of her jar and she's
gonna GET THE MESSAGE.
I remember tables full of inmates mocking their condition in this time
delayed way. (Can't recall a single name). But this is what we called LAUGHTER.
"the peace is dead, and my soul I have blamed,
the reasons for my intentions, poor. Yes I'm the one. The only one who
would carry on this far."-CREED
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