"deputy danny neu's absence"
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february 3rd They're having a bunch of tours going thru here tonight. The whole jail reeks of freshly popped pop corn. Major roof damage in last night's windstorm. Oh, the relative safety of watching it thru the slot in my wall. I wanted to stop standing on my bed and staring at the destruction, but it was irresistible for a long time. Maybe one should look up the Ted Hughes poem, "NOTES FOR A LITTLE PLAY." It's ABOUT the Ramseys as they live now; I don't care WHEN it was written. As we headed towards lunch today Deputy Trujillo rushed up and handed me a yellow note reading: "EDDIE FAJARADO, GOING TO D.O.C. , 12 year sent. Victim Notification.". I couldn't understand it at first and then I realized it was about the outcome of that little old beating incident so many of you people on the net applauded in early De~eember at the Douglas County Jail. The 12 years mentioned on this shameful document (everything is always your fault) are I'm sure a combined sentence for all of his charges put together. I suppose I'll get another note when the other one pleads guilty. I'm sure my portion of thier caseloads is simply another little log on the fire, not unlike what I did at the Ramsey house. The outside news of the day is that someone opened a couple of graves at a cemetery in Boulder. As inmates and guards have gawked at the sketch of the possible perpetrator on the news and in the papers, they can't resist a comment here and there to me. There's a lot of difference in working with or lurking with a corpse...but out of POLITENESS it must be said that I brought out the old bits; routines I've worn thin...the singing of, "you've lost that lovin feelin" to a pretend corpse; the singing of "Goin to the chapel and we're gonna get buried". ..and of course the incredulous insistence that I simply made a myopic mistake and mistook the obituaries for the personal ads. I am surrounded by people and I have given them what THEY wanted...innuendo
about sex with corpses.
"Have you no respect for the dead?" shreiks an email I got recently from "a Christian father". Now, hons, I WISH I was still at the funeral home I used to work at in San Antonio. I used to drive the hearse there. Boy, if I could stick a hidden camera in there and catch some of the clergy letting thier hairy mouths down. ...THEY TOO are part of the show. The inside news of the day in our little world is we've come to know that Deputy.DANNY NEU ,a classifications officer, is "on leave" after some ODD and very bused up incident. The story goes that he was arrested at gunpoint by police officers but it is unkown if thats really true or what the incident might have been. As yet, I'm told there are no charges filed.....rotten to the core,I tell you...everyone else but the Ramseys and officers get those charges filed JUST LIKE THAT. .... I'm tired of hearing about how abusive I was in my profession. As for me, personally these days I am SICK SICK SICK. I am under an "ombrelle" of sickness . . .I am in fact TRANSFORMING. That is a process (which is dull and impossible to describe) not unlike the dropping of a rocket stage into space like in the Apollo program. To go from one level of radiating and humming to another causes a series of physical itritations. The bloody mucus I'm manufacturing would complete Muni (a hateful websurfer) if it were caked on her face. Frozen. I have preserved myself in my mid 3O's by coming here. It was not perfect. And it was not unprecedented. I am to unthaw and describe it to you...I am to go on. It is acceptable to have a look of fear when making a bold move. current | 1999 | 1998 | colfax diaries |