"terrifed that i was peeing myself"
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march 4th
Okay, now listen, the plan for when I get out
is suchlike: webmasters Lance and Lisa and I will RUSH to les Crossroads
Mall so I can buy some SPECIAL CLOTHING since der POLIZIE destroyed all
mine. THEN we stock up on DRUGS...and FINALLY we go to DENNY'S, see,
and once there here's the scenario...we sit at a booth and within MOMENTS
of arrival, Lance and Lisa hop up in a STATE OF ALARM, see, and in
doing they knock over the table. Everyone LOOKS, and there I am wearing
BRITE WHITE shortz...diarrhea just a sloshing out les leg holes like a
river. "It's all happening again", I shreik to no horrified patron in particular.
Then we SKIP to the zoo...(our sort of mileu) and get arrested for getting
an "autruche" drunk (and shitting ll over ourselves in public).
.....deep in les heart of the "writ pod", in Arapahoe County I was delivered into les clutches of THE STEREOTYPICAL HELL CELLIE. Les rapist/murderer who wanted ME to perform. Oh, he was pale as a ghost, he was almost transparent. Long scraggly desperate decades of hair, and "tatouage" all over his body. How he did sit SWARTHY, practicing his manipulation! I was across from him. He made a PRODUCTION out of allowing me to sit on his bottom bunk. We smoked the tobacco he brought up from prison in his "safe". Oh, the stench when he pulled it from his innards...but never fear; he blew a handful of foot powder in les vent. We smoked. He was up from prison to sign some child custody papers in conjunction with some case his ex wife had picked up, leaving the child a ward. But we QUICKLY got to our cases, and after his desultory overview of how "fucked up" it was of me to photograph corpses, he launched into his WELL PRACTICED CASE. And this freak did proceed to tell me how "they said" he murdered "some bitch" down by the railroad tracks in Aurora. He said, "they said" in court that someone had bitten her bitz off. Oh my. Did he ever GLOW when he got to that. Quite clearly this was to roll my coaster into submissive FEAR, and then...and then...he took off his "chemise", saying, "it's hot in here". And then,...and then...he affected this leanin back on les table with his legs, oh, so casually spread open. But me, I was NOT biting. Nopey, nope no. Now he launched into a description of "les freaky women/men" they got in les penetentaries: "they seem just like women!" and then, he MUSED that, what with his life sentence and all, and his bein in since the early eighties, one DOES start to think about those women/men, etc. Wasn't there a balck guy on tier porter duty that night who CHECKED IN every now and then to see if his friend from prison was "gettin it"? Why, yes, there was; and everytime he floated by with his greedy action-absorbing eyes, I could only massage my temples further into what-now (mad cow) mode. For all les drama ended when I just mumbled something and got up on my top bunk and laid there rocking all night. Rapey rapey ko ko bop was shrill whistle disappointed, but eventually he went to his bed. Bear in mind that 'sir rape a lot' just couldn't stop reminding me how "disrespectful" my little art project was...I guess hearing it from a violent rapist/murderer gives me the RIGHT to throw YOUR societal spit back in YOUR face while chanting, "who are YOU to judge me?" "Bear in mind" translates as, "tenir compte de"...and I should finish les subject by pointing out that the NEXT MORNING when I went EXHAUSTED to court I was informed that Harvey Steinberg, my pro-bono big time Denver lawyer, hadn't shown up. My journey to Arapahoe County had been for NOTHING. And so...it struck an exposed nerve and I hopped up and ppounded on the courtroom wall. Judge Feldman rushed from the courtroom so as not to tarnish himself as a witness to the episode. You should have seen the LOOK on the face of the guy I was handcuffed to! I so deeply wanted to hang myself the rest of the 6 wasted days I spent on that writ to Arapahoe. Charges..charges...charges everywhere...these were the irritations I knew were to come as I sat on les Ramsey patio. Now TELL me about "ATTENTION", you beeaytches out there. "Why, I oughta..." Like BILLIONS before me I shall perish flailing...so stop your phukkin dramatic, hackin arm waving, "yeah butting" Onwards...in lonely Vancouver I several times ended up walkin and talkin to myself on the parking grounds of their coliseum. Barren and snow covered, the circles get so wide you gotta burn SOMEBODY ELSE'S bridges. What gives YOU the right to assume my disasters are CASUAL. Like I don't understand the ramifications. I can HEAR the squeaky wheels of the drunken grim reaper's idiotic gurney. There's somebody like ME just waiting for the phone call that pairs him up with YOU.So you "case noisettes"(nutcrackers) just back OFF. Realizing the wrongs of my crimes is "le cadet de mes soucis" (the least of my worries). Like everyone stalled and waiting in here, my thoughts and fears turn to Getting Out in other aspects...yesterday's FUSCO BROTHERS cartoon- (you may have seen it)-in the Colorado Daily hinged on a punchline concerning a patron misunderstanding the French waiter's use of the words, "pouilly fuise". We can assume that the first word refers to chicken...but I can't find the French words thrown into Americn communications just so someone can seem smart. I want to LEARN. Yes, I want to journey to Oregon, knock on a door, and say, "pardon me, would you educate me on les concept of why you thought it was necessary to call a LT. from my jail?" No sense of well being, hons. The other night when les X Files was on I was in my cell and I became terrifed that I was peeing myself...turns out les main character's water bed had popped.Over les coming weekend I'm going to describe for you the thing you barracuddas want most. A mortuary thing I did that can FUEL your fires of how disgusting I am...so this 23 year old kills himself, see, and I arrive on the scene...just wait. Play Patsy cake with me...underwater...threatening music...Morty on a gingham cloth blowing les bubbles. Morty says I'll never adjust looking in on YOUR world..."know it"..."learn it". Be supernatural. Live in crisis so you can GIGGLE if your arm gets hacked off and STILL be sane! This is the council Morty gives me. He is calm, I am nervous. we are NOT cohesive friends. Why should I pay my "debt" in wun lump sum when I can rot forever? What, jus what, in the name of jeezy weezy, are ALL the Ramsey detectives doing in Atlanta alla the sudden? I feel like I should start lookin out the window more often after I read that in les Rocky Mountain News this morning. Oh, sure, I AM indeed sending jail rulebook pages (and joke and puzzles) to newspapers ALL OVER. And I still have time to watch TV! current | 1999 | 1998 | colfax diaries |