"mommy, can we go to elitch's?"
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march 19th-21st Scroll back..back...a month ago you'll see postings concerning Justin Les Junkie, and how Jesus H Christ saw fit to remove him from my milieu. Then, you'll see how he "got out" of jail, oddly enough sinc he TOLD me he was to go to PRISON in KANSAS. And sure enough, HE was right, and the rumors wrong...for, on Friday night, I recieved a letter from him in an envelope embossed with the most bizarre official "logo" for a prison imaginable. A big cartoonish "K" with a little "D.O.C." in the K's center. Definitely reminiscent of "Kmart". Justin's silly letter makes mention of an ostrich grazing on, and exhuming, "a certain grave". And I suppose some of les sanctimonious people out there in webnutland wouldst play INDIGNANT at his little joke whilst at the same time journeying great distances to photograph and steal ceramic angels from the SAME. Oh, the warts les Ramsey case exposes. The cheif topic of conversation Justin and I had on his 2 visits to this jail surrounded "autreches". Oh, yes. Ostriches for cellmates. Ostriches drinking out of les toilettes. Ostriches for les sexuelle gratification oral...etc. Oh, we'd imagine ostriches til others would LEAVE the general area. Yessy, yes yes. And now, he has sicced an autreche on JBR. If we are to "go there" then I would suggest we imagine Alex Hunter's head on les ostriche. The information I'm absorbing from "Perfect Moida" is at times quite irritating. More than EVER it leaves me wondering WHY John and/or Patsy are not supping with me today.Speaking of that book...it was lying on my cold steel table on Friday afternoon when along comes LT.BRUCE HAAS to inspect(at a glance) the cleanliness of my room. I think he found it odd that I was reading a magazine in the semi dark. (How many times must I tell you "attention theorists" that I like to blend into les wallpaper in person?) Anyway, he was going from cell to cell, nothing unusual, this inspection determines whether or not we get our popcorn and Pepsi on Friday night,k? So Lt. Haas flips on les light, looks about and says, "How's it going?"
I say, "FINE", kind of nervous due to sanctimonious net scum having previously
and FALSELY gotten me in trouble with him. Then he asked conversationally
if it was true that I'd recieved an autographed copy of "Perfect". I pulled
it out from under my writing pad and said, "yes, Sheriff Epp (Haa's boss)
is in it a LOT". A few umimportant comments here and there along the lines
of, "you almost through wid it?" etc. Then I asked him if everything was
okay with my web activity. Haas said there were no problems. He LIKES to
point out that HE doesn't read my postings. He did, however, tell me that
about 2 weeks ago a woman from Washington DC called to tell him I was "harassing"
her on the internet via Lance Matthews of Albany. (This godawful
fish should know that there's more than just my former cell neighbor helping
me 'harass" society at large now) (a whole LOTTA people...I have no idea
WHO). (Together, I suppose, "WE" are now a "phenomenon"). Anyway, Haas
said he referred the woman to her LOCAL authorities. I never would have
heard of this if I hadn't happened to be sitting in my room during les
inspection.
"Listen cheerfully, SCUM, I can only summarize that YOUR GAME is REALIZED. You want to do les huff and les puff of decency because you have NOSE IN AIR about your "employment credentials" (or rather, lack thereof) or money or SOMETHING. I have NOTHING, and still you want to stamp that out. You MUST have been under les impression that Haas would drop the phone and you would hear his boots heading towards my cell. You had this impression due to YOUR GRANDIOSITY. It is YOUR rotten core emptiness at issue here. YOU were judged to be A WASTE OF TIME. God how I'm laughing at you NOW. There's nothing more satisfying than when an EEL attempts to USE an authority for their own wicked purposes than to have their malice BACKFIRE. Now, we can all feel more comfortable THANKS to you. I don't even know...or care...who you are. You are a SPECK. And now, since you must be clipping and saving these copies of "harassment" for your nutty "eveidence" file let me be sure to throw THIS in before you hit "print": "Dear Local Authorities: The cuckoo who is attempting to PRESS YOUR BUTTONS has done so with OTHER police agencies. I ask you to direct them to a place that knows what to do about COMINGLED grandiosity and low self esteem. This is a person who wishes to smash a gash in my face from afar only to brag to others of the same ilk, "Look, I got RESULTS...I got someone in trouble by lying to the police". This person is undr the impression that once someone has broken a few laws it is OKAY to make up ANY OLD NEW offense against them. This, my dear "local authorities", is a sort of dungeons and dragons game to the extreme.This...this...2 faced lying self righteousness is amongst the hallmarks of note as we move into the era of "inmates with ACCESS". And now, let me just say that I shall soon be in somew LOCAL town somewhere...and I shall go to Main Street...and I shall drill a hole in a tree and I shall "insert" myself in les hole. Once there, I shall urinate, so so vigorously, see, oh it'll come a sloshing back out as the townsfolk GAPE. And when your local gendarmes YANK me from that tree I shall cry out, "I was only imitating an oh so decent beeyatch from Washington DC" This I shall do in the non du Jeezy Weezy. Badda bing. In gratitude I informed Lt. Haas of the recent large flare ups in readership...in "hits"...so he can know there might be more, um, moments of evidence of my acting at this time as a "freak magnent". Haas is NOT a bad guy at all. That does NOT change the fact that other Deputies like Paula Gallagher should be reduced to HALF PAY.Timid robots, you see, should NOT be hired to wear badges. Q: Did I see monsieur Hunter on channel 9 over the weekend?
Some guy from down the tier just came back from the Gilpin County Jail where he had a case. As he passed by, I asked him, "How was Corporal Helms up in Gilpin"? Without skipping a beat or looking back he said "Fuck Corporal Helms and all those retarded rednecks up there...watching me take a shower last night..strictest...stooopidest jail I've ever seen...etc" Ah, yes. The memories. And THEN, Sunday came TICKING along. I don't remember what we had for dinner only an hour ago, except that it came with a piece of chocolate "gateau". The main thing was, we could see from the cafeteria that a trusty was out watering the yard. Soon we'll be able to go there. Anticipation fueled by Spring. In this metro area the amusement park one MUST go to is called, "Elitch's". Rollercoasters, cotten candy, piles du childish vomit...you get the picture. And lately...I don't know why...the touching sunny day local horror thought STRUCK me that the child whose death caused this GIANT vortex is almost guaranteed to have said, just as my brothers and sisters and all Denver children have said: "mommy, can we go to ELITCH'S?" (Oh Patsy). current | 1999 | 1998 | colfax diaries |