"it's okay, I just want the sperm"
|
march 26-28th I beseech Jeezy Weezy to explain to me why a long distance call on a phone that BARELY works should have it's price raised to an astronomical fifty nine cents per minute with a $3.89? "Don't forgive the conniving bastards, for they know EXACTLY what they're doing". Here I sit in my cell eating deformed pseudo Ritz crackers, hating the whole nourishing industry around me. Sometimes one just HATES everything they see. And on Friday ("get a load of this") we were gathered in the dayroom and told we must fill out lengthy questionaires or there'd be no popcorn, soda, or movie. (To some people this is a CRUSHING threat but I can afford deformed crackers and generic Kool Aid at premium prices). I have never heard anyone say theyve seen a questionaire such as this in ANY jail. Allow me to slap up les tails in my tuxedo (raggedy of course) and pull up a bench the nearer to you so I might whisper the questions in your ear... Some EXACT examples of true/false questions on les form: .......residents will be transfered from this unit if they don't obey
the rules True/False
there were 90 such statements. It was made CLEAR there are gonna be some changes round here. This work is being crunched by "JSAT (Justice System Assessment and Training) a Boulder consultancy firm. On the introductory page to the questions there was THIS: "We are an independent research firm working to gather jail staff and inmate information regarding the prevailing beliefs, values, and attitudes within the jail environment. This info will be used for reducing recidivism etc and...jail inmate management problems".I wonder if anyone could interpret this "prevailing beliefs and attitudes" business to mean that our TEMPERATURE was just taken. Greazy Greazy vaseline slimed anal thermometer. You may now sit and SPIN.K? Mike the "rec" guard says the yard will open for our use in April 4th. Anyone out there, by any chance, not so riddled with drugs, alcohol, or mental illness that they recall me writing awhile back about an advertisement for custom steel window well guards? I couldn't help but notice after that posting went up, the Liberty Home Products Company DROPPED their website addy from the continuing adverts? "Curious," as they say. (There was one on page 25A of sunday's Rocky Mountain News). Well, there go my SUMMER PLANS...I see Patsy Ramsey sold the Charlevoix home to a Chicago couple.What do you think...is that one more more item she can check off her "pre prison" to do list? Deputy Ranum was "featuring" les usual joke about the Ramseys getting "work release" today. They call this deputy "Hollywood", for some reason.One time when I was in les HOLE Ranum came to a neighbor cell to confiscate his commisary items as the time had arrived for that inmate (Teddy Lopez) to lose that priveledge. I couldn't see Teddy, all I could see was Hollywood standing in front of the open cell door when boxes of deformed pseudo Ritz crackers (and the like) started hitting him in the chest. "Very few things get people excited", indeed. Disaster pouch. And there it was in Saturday's Daily Camera (swallow deeply, you will NOT, most of you,LIKE this one) an article about a woman in Los Angeles who gave birth to a child which was created by hiring doctors 9 months ago to rush into the LA morgue (been there billions of times) yank les sperm out of her husband's dead body. He'd been dead 30 hours! "Abuse of a corpse", they shreik at me...but if I'd been UNDULATING on top of eine corpse and they opened les freezer and caught me, I suppose I should have just yelled, "it's okay, I just want the sperm". And yes, I am feeling a little "sketchy", if you are wondering. Someones mother told him on the phone that "another" inmate died here, but it was a false rumor. She'd merely misread the brief about Flach's autopsy report. Keeps cropping and popping back up. And John Flach used to joke about JonBenet's ghost in the SMAN (special management) pod. Now HE haunts it. A few pages before the corpse sperm article there was one about a tragic fire in the "Mont Blanc" tunnel between France and Italy. 36 people roasted, but I've seen THAT before. What interested me was the mention of "17 bunkers built to resist heat and smoke" throughout the tunnel. Now that would have been a perfect spot to sit in a filthy vcommune drinking and speaking the basest sort of French. Oh, the "control" we could have argued about in those bunkers..."dont pee in les corner" "ooh la la, it stinks in here" "your turn to shoplift turnips" etc. Mademoiselle sunnyday of southern California sent me some of her old French notes, but it certainly didn't explain how you'd say, "get your hands offa my genitals, you see I've been dead for 30 hours" (glace equals 'icy cold"). I feel les chances are not good in getting that translated by a random Parisian. Maybe a dirty Belgian. (A Belgian truck filled with flour and margarine caused the Mont Blanc). And in les nether regions of the Sunday Rocky Mtn. news, biz reporter AL LEWIS says the United Parcel service has decided French businessmen are the most difficult to work with. Surprize surprize. current | 1999 | 1998 | colfax diaries |