Cats Are Funny

(So are their Owners)

The Cat Philosphy of Life: If you can't Eat it or Shred it, then Sleep on it.

Cats make more sense than men
Cats make more sense than women
Men exist because cats won't mow the lawn. Women exist because cats can't cook.

People who hat cats will come back as mice in their next lives!
A cat dislikes the term "pet." It prefers "friend and confidante."

"Everything comes to those who wait...except a cat."-- Marilyn Peterson

A cat, by any other name, is still a sneaky little furball that barfs on the furniture.

Cats keep their claws sharp because they know that just a purr may not be enough.

Anything not nailed down is a cat toy

Mankind is the result of millions of years of evolution designed to produce a better Cat Servant
There are many intelligent species in the universe...they are all owned by cats
To a dog, you're one of the family. To a cat, you're one of the help
Cats don't want to own people. They prefer to lease with an option.
Cats make great pets -- out of their owners

"Cats are our last best chance to have a dysfunctional relationship."-- John Bush

Cats humor us because they know that their ancestors ate ours.

"I purr, therefore I am". -- Descartes' cat.

Dogs think men are gods. Cats are not so easily deluded.

"Most cats when they are out want to be in, and vise versa, and often simultaneously." Louis F. Camuti, DVM

Some days, the most interesting thing on the TV is a sleeping cat!

"Kittens are born with their eyes shut. They open them in about six days, take a look around, then close them again for the better part of their lives." Stephen Baker

"Cats sleep Anywhere, Any table, Any chair, Top of piano, Window-ledge, In the middle, On the edge." --Eleanor Farjeon

Getting a free kitten proves that you don't need money to get love.
Cats are children that you don't have to send to college.

"One reason we admire cats is for their proficiency in one-upmanship. They always seem to come out on top no matter what they are doing, or pretend they do." Barbara Webster

The more people I meet, the better I like my cat!
To a Cat, People are just Furniture that does Tricks

If I want to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, I'LL PUT SHOES ON THE CAT!

Entropy was just a concept, until I got a cat!--

"The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an ax-murderer."-- Paula Poundstone

"Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit." John S. Nichols

"Cats' hearing apparatus is built to allow the human voice to easily go in one ear and out the other." Stephen Baker

There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast

In space, your cat can't hear you open the can.

Cat: A lapwarmer with a built-in buzzer.

"Cat: A pygmy lion who loves mice, hates dogs, and patronizes human beings." --Oliver Herford

Kitten: A small homicidal muffin on legs; affects human sensibilities to the point of endowing the most wanton and ruthless acts of destruction with near-mythical overtones of cuteness. Not recommended for beginners. Get at least two.

"Cats are soft-furred mammals, who are mildly and clumsily predatory. They have anywhere from two to a dozen neurons. The baseline intellect of a cat has two states. (1) Chow state (feeding frenzy); and (2) Sleep mode (unconscious on your bed with whiskers twitching)." - Elaine Richards

You don't need a pedigree to be a best friend.

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