We hear a lot of talk nowadays
about family values.

A return to God and family values are presumed by many to be the answer to all this country's problems.

Of course, by "God," they mean their god with their chosen religious institution as his representative.

And by "family values" they mean a lifestyle of which they approve.

The term is all too often a code word for ostracization of all who do not fit their approved mold.

As a society, we have all been sold on the image of "Father Knows Best" with maybe a dash of Norman Rockwell on the side.

We now think that that is the only proper kind of family and the only kind of family of which God approves.

However we think things should be is how we think God planned it. We have created God in our own image.

And the image is just an illusion, a 20th century fairy tale.

In the past,
before the fairy tale, family existed apart from God, or family, or cultural values. It existed because of "blood" and blood was "stronger than water." Blood was stronger than anything! It was the only thing on which one could depend; and, if it occasionally hurt or was abusive, so be it because it was all that there was!

Do we really want to return to those days?

And if we did, is it really possible?

In my opinion, no; not without some fundamental changes in the modern lifestyle and way of thinking.

And by that, I do not mean simply declaring the importance of God and family along with a lot of talking and praying about it.

It means a simple recognition of the principle, now currently unfashionable; but, once recognized as simple fact that "Friends may come and go; but, family goes on forever."

So we go to the family reunion instead of the big game. We take in Mom and Dad even if it means somebody has to double up. We help out that family member who somehow just can't hold a job. We hold together marriages in which we know we will never find personal fulfillment because we also know that it is best for our children; and, that is our greatest fulfillment.

I have heard many people say that it is better for a child to be raised by a single parent than by two parents who are unhappy together. IMO this is a self serving argument. There is such a thing as keeping your unhappiness to yourself, having made your bed, do what you can to make it as good as you can; but, if there are children, learn to lie in that bed you have made. Regardless of what some people think, children are not psychics, can remain blissfully aware that there parents are not happy together, not that the generally selfish little creatures really care; and, in the absence of abuse, are virtually always better off in a two parent home."

All this used to go without saying; but, nowadays with family spread out all over the country and even the world; with many of us living in apartments instead of homes of our own; with most adult members of a family spending most of their waking day in work and other activities away from home and family; and so many children being cared for by a series of non-family members, how is it possible for family to care for family the way family once did?

How is it possible to care about family the way we once did?

For family are we willing to give up our modern pursuit of material goods and what we consider personal fulfillment?

I do not think that we are there yet.

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